L. A. Candy

by Lauren Conrad

  Jane did feel bad for him. He had to know that she wasn’t having a good time. She leaned forward and touched Paolo’s arm; that was a “datey” gesture, right? But Paolo barely seemed to notice. He was too busy talking about whether paella was better with seafood or meat. Jane tried to look interested. I want to die, she thought.

  She struggled through the rest of dinner and felt a wave of relief when she saw the check heading their way. Thank God, the end was near. Once they got up from the table she was so happy she could have cried. All she wanted to do was get into bed. Alone.

  When she saw Dana standing outside the restaurant as they exited, her heart sank. Obviously, a quick escape wasn’t an option.

  “The camera crew will meet you back at your apartment for a nice good-bye shot,” Dana said. Good-bye? Outside my apartment? Couldn’t we just double-park in front of the building and say our awkward good-byes in the car? This night is never going to end, Jane thought. But at least she would get a break from the cameras during the drive home.

  The valet pulled up with Paolo’s BMW and Jane slid in. “So where are the cameras?” Paolo asked her after shutting his door. He looked around. “Are they following us?”

  “Yeah, they’re meeting us back at my apartment,” Jane said. “They aren’t filming the drive.”

  “Oh,” Paolo said. Even through her haze Jane could hear the disappointment in his voice. “So! When is this episode going to be on TV?”

  Jane frowned. How was she supposed to know? “I’m…not sure.”

  “My friend knows one of the guys that was on The Beach,” Paolo went on eagerly. “He said he gets paid to go to clubs and travels everywhere. So cool. Do you have an agent?”

  Jane was quiet for a minute. “Paolo. Be honest. Did they ask you to ask me out?” She didn’t look at him.

  “No. Of course not,” Paolo reassured her.

  Good, Jane thought. She felt a little better. At least he had asked her out on his own.

  “I had an appointment with Fiona. I didn’t even know what you guys were filming until I got there,” Paolo went on. “I saw the sign out front and—”

  “What sign?” Jane demanded, turning toward him.

  “The sign outside the Fiona Chen offices. It said PopTV was filming.”

  “Oh.” Jane felt anger rising inside. “So you just saw the sign and followed the cameras and thought you’d try to get on TV by talking to me and…” She paused. “Stop.”

  “What?”

  “Stop the car!” Jane yelled.

  Paolo turned right off Hollywood and pulled over to the side of the road. “What the hell is your problem? I just took you out for a nice dinner and—”

  Jane quickly opened her door, leaned her head out, and began to throw up. Her mouth tasted like vodka. She spit then wiped her face with her sleeve. She sat back up in her seat and closed the door.

  Dead silence. Paolo looked horrified.

  Well, Jane thought. At least I know he won’t try to kiss me good night.

  The following night, Jane walked into Lola’s and headed into the back room. Even though it was a Monday night, the place was packed, but she didn’t mind. Braden was at the bar, waiting for her. She couldn’t imagine anywhere she’d rather be than here with Braden without the cameras. She hadn’t seen him since last weekend at Cabo Cantina.

  “Hey!” she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “Hey!” Braden said, kissing her back. “It’s good to see you.”

  “You too!”

  She sat down beside him, smiling. She took a moment to admire his appearance without making it obvious that’s what she was doing. He was wearing tailored dark jeans and a navy-and-white-striped sweater. He had more stubble than usual. Tonight more than ever he struck her as the kind of guy who had no idea how hot he was—which, in Jane’s opinion, made him even more attractive. But friends weren’t supposed to think of each other as hot, she reminded herself.

  Braden handed her a menu. “They have a full bar here, but they’re known for their martinis. They have every kind you can think of.”

  “Eww…a garlic mashed potato martini?” Jane said, glancing at the menu. “I think I will play it safe with apple.”

  Braden motioned to the bartender and ordered her drink. “So how’s life as a big TV star?” he asked play-fully.

  “Ha-ha,” Jane said. “Actually, it’s not at all what I expected.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean…well…I thought it was going to be easy. Fun. Like Scar and I would have to show up at a club a couple times a week and be filmed or whatever. And maybe they’d film me at a work event once in a while. But it’s way more intense than that, and it’s only been a week. The cameras are always following me around, you know? They film me answering phones at the office. They film me at home. They film me when I go out, even if it’s just to the Starbucks around the corner. It’s kinda weird.”

  Braden glanced over her shoulder. “Uh-oh. Are they here now?” he joked.

  Jane grinned. “Nope. I made my escape.”

  “Good! Next time, we’ll have to wear disguises.”

  “Yeah…they’ll be looking for me.”

  As the bartender set their drinks in front of them, Jane thought about how Braden seemed like the only person in her life who didn’t want to be around when the cameras were—besides her parents, that is. Her sisters had already begged to come visit her, her cousin suddenly wanted to hang out—even Fiona had jockeyed for airtime.

  Jane clinked her glass against Braden’s. “Cheers.”

  “So when do I get to see you on TV?”

  “Soon! I think in a month? Trevor, he’s the main producer, said they’re going to film us for a few more weeks, then edit a bunch of stuff. Then the series premiere is going to air. They’re going to keep filming us for a few months after that though, until the season’s over. So there’s this overlap.”

  “Sounds like it’s happening pretty fast.”

  “It is! There’s going to be a series premiere party, too. I’ll text you when they tell me where it is. Scar and I are pretty excited about it. Well, I’m excited about it. Scar’s acting like she couldn’t care less. Anyway, you have to come.” Before he could say no, Jane rushed on. “So what’s going on with you? Have you been on any more auditions?”

  “I have one coming up next week. It’s another sci-fi pilot.”

  “No shortage of those, I guess. What’s this one about?”

  As Braden talked, Jane found herself leaning closer to him. She loved listening to him. She loved being with him, period. Why hadn’t it been like this with Paolo? Or with any other guy she’d met since Caleb?

  “—so if it works out, I can be a big, fancy TV star like you,” Braden was saying.

  “Funny.”

  Braden reached over and pulled a thread off her tank top. His fingertips brushed against her bare shoulder, sending a chill down her spine.

  “You get that’s what’s going to happen to you, don’t you?” he said, suddenly serious. “Clubs, tabloids, fans—the whole messed-up Hollywood scene?”

  “Hardly,” Jane said. “The show is probably going to get canceled after the first episode. Seriously, you should see the stuff they film. Nobody is going to want to watch a bunch of random girls getting yelled at by their bosses or gossiping with their friends while doing laundry. It’s kind of boring, if you ask me.”

  “You? Boring? Never.”

  Jane stared at him. So what’s with you and Willow? she wanted to say. Are you guys on or off right now? Oh, she’s moving out of the country? That’s awful! But she couldn’t bring herself to even mention Willow’s name. It was so nice, just being here with Braden. Talking about his sort-of girlfriend would definitely be a buzzkill.

  And then Jane realized something else—something almost as depressing as the subject of Willow.

  When the L.A. Candy episodes finally hit the air, Braden would see Jane on a date with Paolo and flirting with those
guys at Madison’s apartment. Not that anything had come of either of those nights. Quite the opposite, in fact. Still, she felt a wave of guilt. Even though she and Braden were just friends. She wondered if it would even bother him…and kind of hoped it would.

  Yeah, like my date with Paolo is going to make any guy jealous, Jane thought drily.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Braden said.

  “What?”

  “It’s an expression. My mom says it a lot. It means—”

  Jane laughed. “Oh! I know the expression. I was just confused because I have a goldfish named Penny.”

  “You do? I thought you were a dog person.”

  “I am. But my mom’s allergic, so I never had one growing up. That’s why I have Penny. She’s kind of my pretend puppy.”

  “Oh, that’s kinda sad, actually.” Braden fake-pouted. “So…what were you thinking before? You had this look on your face.”

  “Sorry, Braden.” She fished an apple slice out of her drink and took a bite. “It’s gonna cost you a little more than a penny to hear my thoughts.”

  The next morning, Jane woke up to the shrill tone of her cell phone ringing. She glanced groggily at her clock. It was 7:00 a.m. Wait, 7:00 a.m.? She wondered if it was a wrong number. Or maybe it was her father making sure she and Scar had signed the L.A. Candy contracts. He’d called over the weekend to tell her that his lawyer had said they were standard contracts and okay to sign. Or maybe it was Fiona, getting an early start to the day. She often phoned Jane at odd hours, giving her crazy instructions like “Hurry over to Olivier’s design studio and pick up the white silk dress for Leda Phillips; she needs it in exactly twenty-three minutes.” Or “Drive up to Malibu and take your camera. I need some shots of a space called Wave for a possible Buddhist wedding ceremony at dawn…Oh, and make sure the sun is just starting to rise, because our client is very particular about lighting.”

  Fiona. Work. Tuesday—it was Tuesday. Crap, she had a meeting in an hour!

  Jane managed to pick up her cell just before the call went to voice mail. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Jane, this is Trevor. Were you sleeping?”

  Jane rubbed her eyes. Trevor? Why was Trevor calling her? She hadn’t really heard from him since they’d started filming. It was hard to believe that was less than two weeks ago. It felt like so much longer than that.

  “Hey, Trevor. Nope, I’m up.”

  “Good. Listen, I just wanted to let you know what a great job you’re doing. I’ve watched the edits and they’re looking amazing. I’m so excited for you guys to see.”

  “Thanks,” Jane said, rubbing her eyes again and feeling a little funny about being complimented on living her life.

  Trevor went on, describing different scenes to her. He sounded genuinely excited. Jane rolled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. She was going to have to hurry if she was going to make the 8 a.m. meeting. Scar’s door was closed; she was probably still sleeping. Lucky girl. Trevor was laughing because Dana had told him that Jane had thrown up on the way home from her date with Paolo. Trevor said they’d had to color-correct her face because she had looked so sick at Bella, but he didn’t blame her because he couldn’t stand listening to that guy either. Jane laughed. At least Trevor thought Paolo was as lame as she did.

  He also mentioned Madison and Gaby and how much they liked hanging out with Jane and Scarlett. Jane hadn’t seen them since their girls’ day (and night) on Saturday. Madison had texted her and Scarlett, asking them if they wanted to have another girls’ day soon—maybe lunch followed by mani-pedis? Jane had texted back with a definite “I’m in!” As far as she knew, Scarlett hadn’t responded. She picked up that Scar wasn’t too crazy about Madison or Gaby. Jane had meant to bring it up with her, but they’d barely spent any time together without the cameras around lately. She wished Scar would be more open to the girls, though. They were really fun and nice. And it seemed as though the four of them were expected to hang out once in a while for the cameras—at least when Jane wasn’t at the office, and Scarlett wasn’t at school, and Gaby wasn’t at Ruby Slipper, and Madison wasn’t…well, doing whatever Madison did with her days. What did she do with her days? Judging from her super-put-together appearance, she probably lived at the gym and spent the rest of her time at the spa and boutiques (with the L.A. Candy cameras in tow, no doubt).

  Then, out of the blue, Trevor said, “Were you at Lola’s last night?”

  Jane frowned. “Um, yeah. Why?” How did he know that?

  “Oh, one of my friends said he saw you. That place is great, right? I think I wanna film there.”

  “Yeah, it was cool.”

  “Who did you go with?”

  “I met my friend Braden there,” Jane said.

  “Just a friend?” Trevor asked. And by the way he said it, Jane assumed it had been accompanied by a suggestive eyebrow raise.

  “Yes, Trevor…just a friend,” Jane assured him, hoping Trevor’s interest in Braden would end there.

  “Great. Well, Jane! Keep up the good work! Dana will be in touch with you very soon, maybe even today. We’re sending you and Scarlett out to a few magazines to do some publicity for the show. We’re also getting the four of you together to do a photo shoot for the promo poster. Series premiere’s coming up; there’s a lot to do.”

  “Okay.”

  They said their good-byes. Jane shut her phone and set it on the counter next to her. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water to throw into her purse. Fruit? Yogurt? Nope, no time. She still had to shower, get dressed, and get out of here. Fiona was a punctuality freak, and Jane didn’t want to be subjected to one of her death-ray stares because she was rushing into the conference room even five minutes late.

  As she headed back to her room, she wondered about Trevor’s interest in Braden. He had tried to sound casual about it, but she couldn’t help feeling totally weirded out that he had known where she was the night before. It was like she was being watched even when she wasn’t being filmed. The thought gave her chills, but she quickly shook it off. Stop being so paranoid, she told herself. She had to get dressed and get to work or suffer the very real wrath of Fiona Chen.

  20

  DO THEY FOLLOW YOU INTO THE BATHROOM?

  “So. It’s Scarlett Harp and Jane…uh…”

  “Roberts,” Jane quietly filled in for what felt like the millionth time to Scarlett, but was probably only the third.

  “Right. Jane Roberts. So how long have you girls been acting?”

  Tiffani, the inexperienced assistant pretending to be a reporter, glanced up from her notepad and gave Scarlett and Jane a barely disguised look of total and utter boredom. It was the same look they had received from multiple reporters in the past few days. PopTV had them doing a round of publicity interviews with four different magazines this week. The bleached blond bimbo and her SAT-challenged sidekick were apparently doing the same, at four other magazines. First, Scarlett and Jane had interviewed with someone at Star. Then Life & Style. Followed by In Touch. At each of those magazines, Scarlett and Jane had been assigned the lowest of the low on the journalism totem pole—that is, newbie reporters who (A) had no idea how to conduct an interview, (B) got their names wrong, (C) got the show’s name wrong, or (D) all of the above. Now they were sitting in Tiffani’s cubicle at Gossip, yet another tabloid magazine. The kind that plastered the racks by grocery market registers. And in the first thirty seconds of the interview, Tiffani had managed to place herself in the “D” category.

  Scarlett glared at Tiffani. Jane, noticing, squeezed Scarlett’s arm with gentle but unmistakable firmness. It was her friend’s way of saying, “Shut up and let me handle this.”

  “Actually, it’s a reality show, so there’s no acting,” Jane explained pleasantly. “L.A. Candy is the name of the show. It’s kind of like a reality version of Sex and the City, but it’s younger and based here in L.A. The cameras follow Scarlett, me, and two other girls, Madison and Gaby, around L.A. while w
e work, go to school, go to clubs…stuff like that.”

  Scarlett sat back and folded her arms across her chest. Okay, so Jane was good at this. And by good, she meant Jane had the patience to smile and bullshit reporter after reporter with the same bullet points they had memorized from the press packet they had been given by Trevor’s assistant. With Tiffani, and the three others before her, Jane had managed to be polite, deliver PopTV’s cute little promotional speech, and not vomit in the process. Scarlett, not so good in the bullshit department, hadn’t said much.

  “Cool,” Tiffani said, scribbling in her notepad. “So are the cameras with you, like, all the time, then? Do they follow you into the bathroom? Are they with you twenty-four/seven?”

  “Do you see any—” Scarlett began.

  “Ha-ha!” Jane cut her off, laughing lightly. “No, the cameras aren’t with us all the time. They’re just there for the important stuff.”

  “Gotcha. So…Jane?” Tiffani crossed her legs and turned toward Scarlett. “What can we expect in the series premiere of Eye Candy?”

  “Listen, my journalism experience may be limited to writing for the high school newspaper,” Scarlett snapped, “but I don’t think knowing basic information like the interviewees’ names and the title of our show is asking too much.”

  “Scaaaarlettttt!!!”

  Scarlett whirled around, wondering whose girlish high-pitched voice was shouting her name in the hallowed halls of the Gossip magazine offices. She looked up and saw D. Was this guy everywhere they were?

  “Scarlett! Oh, and Jane!” Diego shrieked, noticing Jane sitting next to Scarlett. “Oh! My! F’ing! G!” He stopped in front of Tiffani’s cubicle and grabbed both girls in a manic hug. “Tell me! What are you lovelies doing in this sad little hellhole?”

  “D!” Jane squealed happily. “Better question. What are you doing here?”

  “I work here! I’m Veronica Bliss’s assistant.”

  Veronica who? Scarlett wanted to ask, but the so-called reporter cut in.