Sherlock Sam's Orange Shorts

by A. J. Low

  In this land lived a young maiden. Her name was Wen Di. She lived with her parents and younger brother, who was a brilliant young scholar known to have a weakness for steamed buns and chicken drumsticks.

  The villagers remarked that Wen Di should try to behave more like a proper young lady (or at least how they perceived proper young ladies should behave). Alas, Wen Di combed her hair perhaps once a fortnight, and could barely boil an egg without causing a major incident. The young maiden was far more interested in other things—she had to perfect her Art. For you see, Wen Di was determined to master the art of colour-fu, a venerable technique of wielding the powerful, colourful magic that permeated the land of ancient notChina. When the villagers heard this, they laughed at her because everyone knew that no mere girl would ever become a master colourfu artist! Not once had this happened in the long, long history of the Middle Kingdom.

  However, despite being told by many that she would never succeed, Wen Di never gave up. She practised day and night.

  She had the ability to tap into the powers of the colours around her. Primary colours like red, blue and yellow were the source of only basic powers. Only a true master of colourfu could mix and wield secondary colours like purple, green and orange. Practitioners wielded colour-fu differently. Some controlled colours by visualising a shade in their mind’s eye. Others had to touch an object that possessed the colour they needed before they could wield it. And some could only manipulate certain colours, but not others.

  Wen Di could control all the colours in the spectrum, and she had the rare ability to weave strands of colours from her fingertips. However, before she could activate her powers, she had to first say out loud the name of the colour in an ancient language known as Mandarin. Unfortunately, Wen Di’s Mandarin was not very good—in fact, it was quite atrocious. Her brother Cher Lock had tried to help her, but to no avail. Her parents, who fully supported her practice, had employed tutors— nothing helped.

  Wen Di was growing increasingly frustrated. A new training school for practitioners of colourfu had opened near her village and the date for the entrance exam was fast approaching.

  “What about if you just brought flash cards with the hanyu pinyin of the colours and read from them during the entrance exam?” Cher Lock suggested. It was the day before the exam and he was helping her memorise the Mandarin names of secondary colours like orange and purple, which were made up of red plus yellow, and red plus blue, respectively. She had promised him her share of chicken drumsticks for the whole month if he helped her.

  “It’s supposed to be a real-life scenario,” Wen Di replied. “If a monster attacked, I wouldn’t have the time to pull out flash cards and read from them, Little Brother.”

  “What if you wrote the Mandarin names of the colours on your arms then?”

  “That would be cheating,” she replied, sighing.

  “That is illogical,” he said. “In real life, no one would stop you from writing the names on your arms. And, you wouldn’t waste any time at all glancing at your arms. You’d just have to wear short sleeves and use ink that’s waterproof.”

  Wendy shrugged. She also did not understand why memorising things was more important than being able to do them.

  “Okay, let’s try again then, Big Sister,” Cher Lock said.

  He paused, narrowing his eyes. Suddenly, he shouted, “Purple!”

  Wen Di’s mouth opened to say the words, but nothing came out. Her mind was blank. She knew purple was made by combining red and blue. And she knew red, and blue, in Mandarin, but she couldn’t remember how to say purple. The words just seemed to mysteriously vanish from her brain. It was most peculiar.

  She sighed. She was so furious with herself that her eyes filled with tears. Cher Lock frowned. He liked to tease his big sister, but he didn’t like seeing her so upset, especially after she had been training so hard.

  “You should get some sleep, Big Sister,” he said gently. “Maybe all you’ll need tomorrow are red, blue and yellow.”

  Wen Di nodded, but in her heart, she knew that the entrance exam wouldn’t be so easy.

  The sun was unbearably hot by the time Wen Di, Cher Lock and their parents arrived at the school. There was already a long line of parents and children queuing to sign up for the entrance exam. Wen Di looked around; she was the only girl who was signing up. Some parents gave her strange looks, and turned and whispered to each other. She could feel sweat streaming down her back, causing her tunic to stick uncomfortably. Wen Di’s dad put his arm on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. Her mother knelt down in front of her and said, “No matter what happens, I’m very proud of you for working so hard. Just do your best, Wen Di.”

  “Remember to breathe, Wen Di,” her father said, nodding sagely. “Breathing is important. It gives you air. Air, as we all know, is essential to life.”

  Once her name had been added to the list of exam-takers, Wen Di was separated from her parents and Cher Lock. All the hopeful students were made to stand in a long meandering line to wait their turn to face the three stern-looking examiners who sat in a row behind an imposing black marble table. Wen Di looked around her. Most of the boys in the line were far taller than she was and she had to strain on tiptoe before she could catch a glimpse of her family a short distance away. Her father grinned and gave her two thumbs up.

  Wen Di decided to heed his advice and took deep, calming breaths. She started to recite the list of colours in Mandarin that she had memorised. So far, so good.

  It wasn’t long before it was her turn, but that wasn’t a good sign. It meant that most of the hopeful students in front of her hadn’t been able to pass even the first test and progress to more difficult ones that the examiners had set. Wen Di knew she had to complete a series of three challenges before she would be admitted to the colour-fu school, and every potential student received a different test, so there was no way to predict what she would get.

  When it was finally her turn, she took another deep breath and straightened her shoulders. The three examiners looked at her, and then at each other. She was the only girl they had seen, and would see, today.

  The examiner in the middle of the three, a heavy-set man with a full beard, said, “Form a protection shield.”

  Wen Di closed her eyes. She muttered “huang se” under her breath and pale yellow strands of light immediately emerged from her fingertips. Deftly, she spun around, weaving an intricate web-cocoon all around her made of different shades of yellow.

  The audience gasped. Not many students her age would have been able to play with the different shades the way that she had.

  The chubby examiner raised an eyebrow. He made a note on the sheet of paper in front of him. He nodded. Wendy allowed the yellow cocoon to disappear.

  The other examiner then spoke. He was a skinny man with a thin moustache that trailed down his face like handlebars. All he said was, “Levitate.”

  Wen Di paused for a moment, her hands frozen in mid-air. The audience waited in anticipation, wondering how she would choose to interpret that single word. Then she smiled and said, “Lan se.” Gentle strands of blue light emerged from her fingertips to form waves at her feet. She stepped on them and lifted her hands up. The blue light waves rose higher, taking her up with them. Even though the crowd had been pre-warned not to cheer, they still clapped and whistled in astonishment. Through the roar, Wen Di could hear her family cheering the loudest!

  The examiner on the right waved his hand to signal she could stop. He made a note on the sheet of paper in front of him as well. He had no expression on his face.

  Wendy landed on the ground. She couldn’t believe it. She had made it past the first two rounds. If she could pass the final test, she was in!

  The last examiner, the one on the left, was a short man with tufts of white hair growing from his ears. He looked kind. He was the only examiner who was smiling. Wendy smiled back.

  He said, “Write the Chinese character for orange, in green.”

>   Wen Di froze. Wait, what? Orange in green?! Green…green was qing se, but orange…what was orange?! She couldn’t even remember what the hanyu pinyin was, much less the actual character! She turned to look at Cher Lock who was frantically moving his hands about and mouthing words—but he was too far away! Wen Di couldn’t understand what he was saying, and couldn’t see what brush strokes he was making with his hands!

  “Did you not understand the request, young lady?” the short examiner asked. “We do not have a lot of time and there are many other children behind you.”

  Wen Di gulped. She muttered, “Qing se,” and green light started to emerge from her fingertips. She lifted her hands, poised to write, but then she abruptly dropped them and ran away, pushing her way past the crowd to where her family stood. The crowd remained utterly silent.

  When she reached her parents, she threw herself at her mother and gasped, “I failed.”

  An uncle next to them said, “Don’t be sad, little one, you did a very good job, but you’re only a girl after all. You should be proud you even got this far.”

  Wen Di’s mother glared at him, and hugged her daughter even more tightly.

  Dad leant down and said, “You did a very good job, Wen Di. We’ll try again next year, I promise.”

  Cher Lock whispered, “You can have my chicken drumstick tonight.”

  Wen Di couldn’t help but smile.

  The crowd parted to let them past. Wen Di did her best to ignore their whispers as she and her family made their way back home.

  When they were halfway back to their village, there was a sudden gust of wind and a loud ripping sound could be heard behind them. Wen Di and her family paused and turned towards the commotion. Wen Di gasped. It was a void demon! Void demons lived in a parallel world where there was no colour or light. They were drawn to colourfu magic and sucked all colour from their surroundings whenever they were around. Right now, a void demon was forcing its way through a tear between their two worlds!

  “Oh no! It must be drawn to the colourfu magic from all the students!” Cher Lock shouted.

  “We have to warn them,” Father replied.

  “We’ll never make it in time,” Mother said. “It’ll reach them long before we can.”

  Suddenly, she looked down at Wen Di who was still staring at the widening tear in horror.

  “Wen Di, you need to stop the demon.” Wen Di looked at her mother and said, “But…I’m not…I’m not powerful enough!”

  “You can do it, Wen Di,” Cher Lock said.

  “Yes, my daughter. We believe in you!” Father said.

  Wen Di looked at her family. She could not let them down.

  “Father, Mother, Little Brother, you need to warn those who live in our village, as well as those at the school!” she said.

  Father nodded. He said, “Your brother and I will head towards our village—it’s closer. Your mother can run the fastest. She will head towards the school and bring help!”

  Wen Di’s mother gave everyone a quick hug before sprinting away. Father and Cher Lock dashed towards their hometown, albeit at a slightly slower pace.

  Wen Di knew she had no time to waste. She ran towards the rip between the two worlds. The formless mist that was the void demon was slowly but surely forcing its way through the widening gap. And once it had, it would be impossible to stop it on her own—it would be too formidable. The only thing Wen Di could do to stop it was to sew the gap shut, but the only way to do that was to use the most powerful sewing colour-fu magic—purple!

  Purple was…purple was… ARGH! She should have asked Cher Lock what purple was before he left!

  The gap continued to widen—more dark mist was emerging!

  Suddenly, something occurred to Wen Di. She didn’t know what purple was in Mandarin, but she knew what red and blue were!

  “Hong se!” she shouted and strands of red light emerged from her left hand. “Lan se!” she shouted again and strands of blue light emerged from her right hand. Reaching out with both hands, she crossed the strands of light causing new strands, that were purple, to form!

  She wove the purple strands in and out of the sides of the gap, drawing them closer and closer together. The void demon let out a terrifying roar that shook the ground, but Wen Di stood firm. She pulled and tugged, her arms straining against the power of the void demon, deftly weaving the purple strands of light closer and closer together until, finally, the gap closed. Quickly, she made a knot and cut off the loose strands of purple light.

  Wen Di then fell to the ground in exhaustion.

  She was still seated when she heard horses galloping towards her. It was her mother, with the three examiners!

  Wen Di clambered upright. She knew her hair was in a terrifying mess and she was covered in dust and sweat, but that didn’t stop her mother from jumping off the horse and rushing to hug her.

  “You did it, Wen Di! You did it! I knew you could!” her mother cried.

  The three examiners—short, thin and chubby—all alighted from their horses as well. The short one with the white tufts of hair came towards them. He smiled.

  “Interesting. I can sense…red…and blue… and purple as well. How is it that a girl who could not pass my simple test was able to save us all from a void demon?”

  “Your test wasn’t simple!” Wen Di retorted, unable to stop herself. Her mother had to smother a laugh.

  The short examiner looked surprised, then he laughed.

  “Perhaps not, but one of your skill should have easily been able to pass it, no?”

  “I... I can’t remember what the colours are called in Mandarin,” Wen Di said, her face turning red. “I can remember the primary colours like red, blue and yellow. But when I have to mix them up, I can’t remember what they are called in Mandarin.”

  “Then how did you achieve purple?” the thin examiner asked.

  “Well…purple is just red and blue, isn’t it?” Wen Di replied. “So I just called on blue from one hand and red from another, and I mixed them to make purple.”

  The three examiners looked at each other. The short one laughed again. Finally, even the thin and the tall ones had smiles on their faces.

  “Wen Di! Wen Di!”

  Father and Cher Lock were also racing towards them on a horse. Cher Lock looked like he was about to pass out from exertion.

  When they reached Wen Di, both of them rushed towards her, but abruptly coming to a halt when they noticed the three examiners.

  “I did it, Father, Little Brother!” Wen Di said, grinning.

  “Of course! I was your tutor,” her younger brother said. Wen Di rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

  “Such creativity needs to be rewarded, I think,” the thin examiner said.

  “Indeed,” the chubby examiner replied.

  “A place in our school awaits you, young lady,” the short examiner said to Wen Di. “I look forward to seeing what other mischief you’ll come up with.”

  With that, the three examiners mounted their horses and rode off.

  Father, Mother, Cher Lock and Wen Di looked at each other in disbelief. Wen Di was going to be the very first girl to attend a school to train to be a colour-fu master artist!

  “I should probably send that void demon a letter to thank it for helping us,” Father said, grinning.

  THE END

  I am your humble narrator Eliza, and I am contractually obligated to bring you another exciting instalment of what I’m told is your favourite telenovela. Let’s get started.

  Last week on…

  (aka Profound Justice!)

  Our heroes Inspectors Siva and Lestrade were eating taquitos at their favourite taco truck, going over all the clues they had uncovered on El Jefe, the mysterious crime boss they have been chasing after the whole series. (They can’t be very good investigators if they haven’t even figured out who he is yet, right?) Inspector Siva’s best friend Nazhar had joined them and asked about the case. However, he left before the inspectors’ rival
s, Inspectors Huda and Boey, came over and took their last fish tacos, taunting them the whole time!

  These are my kind of people, of course.

  Siva and Lestrade took offence, and as they got up to confront the much better police officers, Siva clumsily knocked over some of his files, spilling police reports, surveillance photographs and court transcripts all over the ground. As he bent down to pick everything up, Siva noticed an anonymous note he’d never seen before that said they should investigate the CEO of the MEGA-DESTROTECHNOBOT Corporation, Mr Watson Tan.

  107 episodes in and this is the first time they’ve even thought he might be connected to this case, so what are the chances he’s actually El Jefe, the mysterious crime boss they’re after? I mean, that seems highly improbable, right? Eh, what are you going to do? It’s a telenovela. This kind of thing happens all the time.

  Are you sure you wouldn’t rather watch another telenovela, a better one? No? Okay then, let’s get on with this.

  Welcome to…

  ¡La Justicia Profunda!

  ∗ ∗ ∗

  “Let’s stop messing around with these taco thieves, partner,” Inspector Siva said. “I’ve discovered a new clue!”

  “You couldn’t even find a clue for the mystery of what you had for breakfast this morning, let alone a real case,” Inspector Boey said.

  “Yeah, you better give it here, so we real cops can investigate this case,” Inspector Huda agreed.

  “He’s twice the detective that the two of you combined will ever be,” Inspector Lestrade said.

  Inspectors Boey and Huda laughed as they took the last bites of their recently acquired fish tacos.

  Inspector Siva finished picking up all the paperwork he’d dropped, and he and Inspector Lestrade walked away.

  “What did you find, partner?” Inspector Lestrade asked once they could no longer hear their rivals’ laughter.

  “This mysterious note,” Inspector Siva said. “It says we should investigate Mr Watson Tan, as he may know who El Jefe is. Or even be El Jefe himself!”