by Leah Atwood
His jaw flexed. “You’re a better person than I am. I’m still angry about everything they said to you on Sunday.”
“To be honest, I was too, until I placed myself in their shoes and realized it was their grief talking.” She glanced toward the sound of laughter drifting up the stairwell.
“They clearly love Josh.” His mouth relaxed. “I think they love you too, but only now realize it.”
She arched a doubtful brow. “I wouldn’t go that far. They might not even want to come.”
“We’ll see. Go ahead and invite them if you’d like.”
Reluctantly, she walked toward the stairs—a step away from Shep, but one step closer to their future together.
“Lyndsey,” Shep called out as she took the fourth step.
Turning around, she grinned. “Call your parents and invite them, too.”
“How’d you…” His mouth twitched until he couldn’t hide a smile. “Right.”
“Goes both ways.” She threw a wink his way, then leaned her head sideways. “I thought you didn’t want anyone at the ceremony?”
“Doesn’t seem right not to have any family there, but I thought you didn’t want anyone and didn’t want to add any pressure.”
“The decision didn’t sit well with me either. I’m glad we’ll have a few family members there to witness our vows.”
“Me too.”
“Our communication, or lack of, could use some work, you think?” She offered a smile to soften the words. First the kiss, then the wedding attendance. They’d both been worried about stepping on toes when they should have been honest.
“We’ll get there. I promise.”
Chapter Eight
Terracotta pots filled with copper and golden colored mums lined the steps of the centuries old Calding County stone courthouse. Spindly twigs sprouted off the branches of trees flanking the entrance. The wide trunks partially obscured the view of two stained glass windows, a gift in the eighteen hundreds from ancestors of the original Calding family who settled the region.
Shep stood outside, waiting for his parents’ arrival. Lyndsey was inside with Portia and Gary, both of whom had graciously accepted the invitation, even shed a few tears.
Josh, who had asked if he could also wait outside, tugged on the tails of Shep’s suit jacket. “Mommy says that you’ll be my daddy once you marry her. Is that true?”
Kneeling to Josh’s height, Shep leveled his gaze. “I’d like it to be. What do you think?”
“I don’t remember much about my real daddy.” His small face contorted with deep thought. “The kids at daycare have fun with their daddies. I’d like to have a daddy to do things with too.”
A large piece of Shep’s heart broke for this redheaded boy and all he’d been through in his four short years of life. “What kinds of things? Fishing? Sports?”
“All of it. And sometimes they just play or read stories for the fun of it.”
Love for Josh stitched back some of the fractures of his heart. “I think all of that can be arranged.”
“Cool.” Josh grinned then squinted, biting down on his lip. “Do I still call you Mr. Shep or Daddy?”
“Your mom and I talked about that and decided it should be your decision.” Whew. Glad Lyndsey and I had that conversation already. He swiped his forehead with the back of a hand.
The outside temperature held steady in the mid-forties, but Shep’s body didn’t recognize the cool air. The enormity of the forthcoming marriage weighed heavily on him, the accountability awed him. After years of wanting, praying, and wondering if it wasn’t part of God’s plan, he would finally be a father.
To be entrusted in that role with someone else’s child was a heady responsibility he accepted with solemnity and enthusiasm. Josh’s biological parentage bore no difference in Shep’s attitude toward him. He promised to accept Josh as his own, the easiest pledge he’d ever made.
“I think I’ll call you Daddy.” Josh nodded in two confident movements. “Once you marry my mommy in a few minutes.”
Shep’s heart danced a jig in his chest. He pulled Josh to him, giving him a side hug. Thank you, Lord, he prayed silently. Thank you for bringing Josh and Lyndsey into my life to ease the years of ache since Miranda’s death. Help me to be the man they need as a father and husband.
Not long after his prayer, his parents approached the steps. Pops sported a tweed jacket with elbow patches sewn on and a brown pair of dress pants. Under a knee length coat, Mom wore a purple dress Shep recognized from his brother’s wedding.
A quick scan of the street parking and the small front lot gave no sign of his parents’ car. “I never saw you arrive.”
“We came the back way and parked in the rear.” His mom spoke to him, but her eyes never left Josh. “Who is this handsome man?”
Shyness took over Josh, and he leaned in to Shep.
Cradling his shoulder, Shep made the introductions. “This is Josh, who agreed to let me be his dad.” He glanced down in time to see Josh’s smile.
“How exciting.” Shep’s mom clapped her hands. “That makes you my grandson.”
Josh inched away from Shep. “Will I get presents from you on my birthday?”
The blood left Shep’s face. Lyndsey would be horrified to hear the first thing out of her son’s mouth. Would it reflect poorly on her parenting? He knew better, but his parents had never met her. “Joshua Allen.”
His mom swatted him on the arm. “Let him be, Shep. He’s only a child.” Returning her attention to Josh, she bent her knees and lowered herself several inches. “To answer your question, yes. No grandbaby of mine has a birthday without a gift.”
Childish pleasure sprang from Josh. “Can you make cookies? And French toast? My grandma never makes me French toast.”
She tapped his nose. “They happen to be my specialty.”
“I like you.” Raising his hand, Josh reached for his new grandmother’s.
Taking control of the exchange, Shep jutted his chin toward the door. “Lyndsey is inside with her in-laws.” He stumbled on the last word, aware that his parents would also be her in-laws in a few minutes.
“Can you take me inside to your mother?” Shep’s mom swung Josh’s hand.
“Okay.” Josh eagerly went along with her.
The elder Mr. Patterson walked beside his son, breaking his silence. “Cute kid.”
“Good kid, too.”
“There’s not another kid on the way is there?” His father raised a gray eyebrow.
A twitch in Shep’s jaw jerked his muscle, and he waited a second to answer. “No, not even a possibility.”
“You never know with couples these days.” Continuing on, oblivious to the offense he’d inflicted, Shep’s father pointed a finger toward his wife, several paces ahead. “Your mother’s aunt’s great-niece is pregnant by some man she’s been living with.”
“That’s their business, Pops, not mine.” He struggled to control his impatience for a conversation he didn’t want to have minutes before marrying Lyndsey.
Pops held up his hands in defense. “All I’m saying is it happens. Your mother and I would love the baby all the same.”
“Good to know, but Lyndsey is not pregnant, and I’d appreciate you not insinuating such in front of her.” He watched the courthouse door swing close behind his mom and Josh, thankful his father at least had the couth not to say what he had in front of Josh. He loved his father, but sometimes—often—the man had no filter. “For the record, Lyndsey and I, both being widows, realize tomorrow’s never a guarantee, so why waste time when we both knew we wanted marriage.”
“Fair enough.” Pops reached the door first and opened it. “If you love each other, that’s what’s important.”
Shep slid through the opening, not bothering to correct his father’s assumption. No one needed to know the real reasons.
His mom, still holding Josh’s hand, and Lyndsey stood by an interior door, chatting as though old friends. Mark’s parents joined
in the conversation as well.
After he and Pops joined the group, Shep made introductions.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Gary shook hands with Pops. “I’m surprised we hadn’t previously met, considering the friendship of our children.”
“I did have the pleasure of meeting Mark once, about five years ago. He came over with Shep one weekend and helped me build a shed.” Pops glanced at Lyndsey. “Life has a strange way of working out.”
Mom elbowed Pops, and he squeezed his mouth shut as though having second thoughts about what he’d said. The two sets of older adults shifted their gazes to and from each other with uncomfortable expressions written on their face.
Lyndsey looked at Shep, pleading with her eyes, which said, “I know we need to do something but I have no idea what.”
He circled to the other side of his mom and slid an arm around Lyndsey’s waist. “We know our marriage might seem awkward to some, because of the friendships we previously shared with our late spouses. Lyndsey and I were both dedicated to those marriages and very much in love with our spouses.”
Staring at him with relief, Lyndsey smiled weakly at first, then broadened the gesture. “We both understand there comes a point where we have to move on, and we’ve been blessed to do so together. That said, no one should be afraid to mention Mark and Miranda in front of us. This marriage is about Shep and myself, but Mark and Miranda will always be a part of us.”
Pride for Lyndsey erupted in his chest as she repeated what they’d discussed. The scenario in which they’d been placed was complicated but simple at the same time, and she’d voiced that beautifully.
His mom spoke up first. “I believe Miranda and Mark would be happy for both of you. They wanted the best for you while alive, and wouldn’t want that to change after their deaths. What better match than their best friend and spouse, two of the people they cared most for?”
“Thank you,” Lyndsey whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. “We believe the same thing.”
A portly man with deep brown skin and white hair exited into the waiting area from a nearby room. “Allen-Patterson party?”
Shep stepped forward. “That’s us.”
“I’m Clarence Osborne, and I’ll be officiating your wedding today. Who is the lucky bride?” Clarence’s eyes settled on Lyndsey.
“Me.” Lyndsey joined Shep by his side and shook Clarence’s hand.
“You’re a lovely bride. My sweet Louise will be sorry she missed today.” A tender smile lit his face. “Anytime we know of a wedding in advance, she likes to be here. Been married forty years and witnessed over four thousand, but she still can’t get enough of them.”
Lyndsey returned his smile. “She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She is, but you didn’t come here today to hear about Louise.” He winked and waved the group into the room. “Bring your party in here and we’ll get started.”
The man’s warm smile reached inside Shep and eased his jitters. A part of him had worried that a ceremony at the courthouse would feel cold and industrial, but the officiant’s demeanor suggested anything but.
His parents entered the room first with Josh, followed by Gary and Portia. He and Lyndsey were the last ones left in the foyer area. He placed a hand on her back to escort her in, but she stopped, pivoted and grabbed his arm. Her face paled except for her cheeks which were flushed.
Drawing in a long breath, Shep soaked in the sight of her. From her curled hair framing her face, to the cream-colored suit she wore with matching pumps. Did she have any idea of her beauty?
“I’m nervous. I know this is right, but it’s huge.” Lyndsey’s words ran together in a single speeding breath. Her nails dug into his wrist. “I just need a minute.”
“Take the time you need.” Using gentle motions, he pried her fingers from his skin and interwove them with his. “Would you like me to say a prayer before we go on?”
Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she nodded.
He gave her hand a squeeze before beginning. “Dear Lord, we come before you today to ask Your blessings on this marriage. Thank You for your provisions and for bringing us into each other’s lives. Help us to be the spouse the other needs and to always keep You at the center of our relationship. Please bless our marriage and use it for Your good. In Your name, Amen.”
Lyndsey released a sigh. “Thank you.”
“Feel better?”
“Much,” she answered with a smile. “Let’s get married.”
When they walked into the room, everyone’s eyes were on them. Is this how a bride feels walking down the aisle of a traditional wedding? Someone—probably his father—hummed “Here Comes the Bride.”
Lyndsey giggled, which in turn made him chuckle. If his mom succeeded in snapping any pictures, they’d probably show him with puffed cheeks from attempting to stifle his laughter. Neither of them had planned to have a processional as they walked the twelve feet to the front of the room.
Upon them reaching the magistrate, Clarence positioned them in front of a podium that could have been a pulpit if found within the confines of a church. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to witness the joining of Shepard and Lyndsey…”
Seconds later, Shep promised to take care of Lyndsey and put her needs before his own. To cherish and accept her for who she was. To love her for better or worse, for richer or poorer. ’Till death do us part. He squelched the nauseating bile that rose with the particular vow and prayed death would not separate them as quickly as it had with Miranda.
This is a new marriage. Lyndsey is not Miranda. I’m not even the same man I was four years ago. And Lyndsey deserves more than a groom with a wandering mind. With that chide, his focus returned to the ceremony, in time to hear Lyndsey recite the same vows.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Their small audience watched expectantly. Lyndsey closed her eyes and tilted her head.
Who was he to disappoint? Angling his head, he met Lyndsey’s lips with his, pressing against them for their first kiss as a married couple.
Chapter Nine
Early morning sun rays filtered through the sheer curtains hung above the kitchen’s farmhouse sink. Forgoing her usual morning coffee, Lyndsey sat on a barstool at the counter and sipped from a cup of hot lemon ginger tea.
The moon was still suspended from a black sky when she’d woken up two hours ago, but she’d lain in bed, listening to Shep sleep. His rhythmic breathing calmed her like the gentle waves lapping against the eastern shore. Even his occasional snore didn’t bother her. It was a reminder that someone else was there, that she wasn’t alone anymore.
She’d never imagined experiencing peaceful mornings again. Each one since Mark’s death had been a cold reminder of his absence. Would this morning have been the same if she’d married anyone else but Shep?
“No.” The answer, clear as freshly cleaned glass, jumped off her tongue.
Shep was an extraordinary man, a good friend and more. She knew that she gained far more from this marriage than he did, but he’d never made her feel that way. More importantly, if she hadn’t cared for him, she never would have agreed to the marriage, no matter what the alternative.
There had been a few other extreme alternatives, which she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. The most feasible, but still impractical because she’d have to have found a new job, would have been lowering her pride and moving in with her in-laws. As terrible as that idea sounded, it was still better than marrying a man she couldn’t abide and being attached to him for life.
She couldn’t define her and Shep’s relationship beyond the legal surface of husband and wife. It wasn’t love, not in the all-consuming way she’d loved Mark, but she loved Shep as a friend and didn’t deny a chemistry existed between them. What she felt for him grew and changed every day—had been for weeks, even months if she really stopped to examine the feelings.
Somewhere between l
iving daily life and being a single mom, she hadn’t realized Shep’s integration into her life and how she’d come to count on him. How he was the one she gravitated to at church functions, long before he’d stepped in to help with her oven.
Since Mark’s death, Shep had been the pillar she hadn’t known supported her. The revelation rocked her, ruining her illusion of complete independence. In that awareness, came another epiphany—once she’d released that pride and autonomy to which she’d clung so tightly, she found a new freedom. A serendipitous one which allowed her to live with joy again, to see the light at the end of a two-year-long dark tunnel.
She tilted her mug, drank the last sip of tea. The digital clock on the microwave switched to 6:30. Reaching for her phone, she started to dial Shep’s parents, who’d volunteered to keep Josh overnight. Rather than invite an embarrassing conversation that revealed the nature of her and Shep’s physical relationship, or lack thereof, she’d agreed to their request.
Letting Josh stay for the night with a couple she didn’t know personally proved easier than she’d anticipated because she trusted Shep’s judgment. Before Shep’s proposal last week, she’d given little thought to Josh having a father in his life again, and what that would mean. However, the transition so far, albeit a few days’ worth, had gone well.
The entire marriage business had proceeded so smoothly, she couldn’t help but wonder when the ax would fall. Life had trained her to think negatively instead of optimistically, something she continually worked to change. Help me, Lord, to be positive in my thoughts and trust in you. She closed her eyes, calling verses to mind to ward off the fear. Her favorite from Jeremiah took center stage. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Footsteps sounded behind her. Turning her head, she opened her eyes and saw Shep entering the kitchen.
Hope and a future.
