A Secret Love

by Stephanie Laurens

  Later.

  Trapping her lips with his, he pinned her to the wall and set his fingers to her laces.

  He couldn’t think—he hadn’t planned, although he’d tried to. He rarely embarked on a seduction these days, especially not one he was particularly intent on, without some idea of what would work best, what possibilities were most likely, what avenues held most promise of fulfillment. In thinking of how he would have the countess, he hadn’t been able to get past the need to touch her, to know her.

  A surprisingly simple need for such an experienced lover as he, and one surprisingly compelling.

  He had her laces free, her gown loose, in the space of a heated minute. Using his weight to immobilize her, he reached up and dislodged her hands from his hair. Drawing her hands and arms down, he leaned into their kiss—she drew him deep, then played havoc with his senses. For one definable instant, he lost his will entirely and simply existed, utterly in thrall, then the hot pressure of her breasts against his chest recalled him to his urgent need.

  He had to touch her, caress her—feel her. If she wouldn’t allow him to see her, he would have to learn her by touch, by having her against him, skin to bare skin, heat to heat.

  Without any veils, any cloaks, any barriers between them.

  He needed to know her.

  Releasing her hands, he reached for her shoulders and swiftly drew her gown down, pushing the sleeves down her arms, deftly freeing her breasts. He sensed her hesitation, the tremor of uncertainty that shook her; capturing her lips, her attention, in a searing kiss, he left her gown in folds about her hips and cupped her breasts, now covered only by the thin silk of her chemise.

  Her hesitation evaporated. She gripped his face with both hands and kissed him back, every bit as urgent as he. Through the silk, her skin burned; the ripe swells tipped by nipples hard as pebbles beckoned. Her chemise was fastened by a row of tiny buttons. He ravaged her mouth as he swiftly undid them. He was already aching, rigid with need, but more than anything he wanted to savor each moment, each revelation. Each bit of her as he uncovered it.

  Her breasts were a delight. Firm and full, they filled his hands, generous, hot and heavy. Pushing the open halves of her chemise wide, he kneaded and heard her moan. The evocative sound sent another, unnecessary rush of blood to his loins. Dragging his lips from hers, he ducked his head, trailing open-mouthed kisses over her throat, her collarbone, to where her flesh mounded in his hands.

  Then he feasted.

  She moaned, and panted, and even sighed his name as he tasted, licked, and suckled. He had to be marking her; although he couldn’t see, the thought sent a surge of sheer possessiveness through him. He drew one peak deep into his mouth; she cried out. Her knees buckled. He leaned into her, holding her up, his erection hard against her lower belly, his balls cradled between her thighs.

  Her softness flowed around him as she slid her arms about his shoulders and clung; her perfume, evocative as sin, wrapped about them.

  He lifted his head and found her lips again, swollen and hot and needy. She drew him in, tongue tangling with his, boldly inciting. He slid his hands down to her hips, then further, tracing the smooth lines of her flanks. Her nipples, hard and tight, were twin points of flame surrounded by the fire of her breasts, crushed against his chest as he pressed her to the wall. Her hips tilted into his.

  He wasn’t even thinking when he grasped the folds of her gown in both hands and pushed them from her hips. His senses didn’t register the sibilant “swoosh” as he shifted and the silk slithered to the floor. His senses had seized.

  She was like hot, supple silk, alive, enchanted, all his. Her limbs, all but naked, shifted sensuously against him, not to push him away but to enclose him more sweetly. If he’d ever dreamed of a houri, then she was here, in his arms, nubile, nearly naked, ready to fulfill his every want, ready to kill him with pleasure. He couldn’t catch his breath, mentally or physically; lust closed like a fist about his gut and shut off his brain. His hands dove beneath the hem of her chemise to close possessively about the globes of her bottom.

  Her kiss only grew hotter, sweeter, headier. She tasted like the elixir of the gods.

  She levered herself up, tightening her arms about his shoulders. His legs had been outside hers, trapping hers; now he supported her and shifted, pressing one long thigh between hers. She murmured, an incoherent sound lost between their lips. He set her down; she balanced on her toes, held high by her hold on him and pinned by his chest. Shifting, he released her luscious derriere and slid both hands forward, caressing the sweet indentation where hip met thigh before moving on to the front of her naked thighs. With his thumbs, he found the crease at the top of each thigh; pressing lightly, he slid both thumbs slowly inward.

  Her breathing fragmented; their kiss turned desperate as his thumbs tangled in her silky curls. He played, teasing, being tantalized, then, skillfully plundering her mouth, he sent one hand upward, fingers splaying over the delicate skin of her stomach, caressing, then kneading evocatively. In almost the same breath, he let the fingers of his other hand drift down, gently pressing in, searching through her heated softness to find her.

  If he hadn’t been kissing her, he sensed she would have gasped. She was slick, swollen, and so hot. Her breasts strained against his chest; he held her steady and gently probed, then stroked, soothed, only to take further liberties.

  The intimacy was new to her—he knew that in his bones. Her late husband must have been a clod. Yet she was flowering sweetly for him; her nectar burned his fingers as he circled her entrance, then drew back to caress the nubbin of flesh now tight and throbbing with need.

  She quivered, her fingers digging into his upper arms as she arched her head away. He allowed her to break the kiss and catch a shattered breath, then he deliberately reached deeper and circled her entrance again . . .

  She shivered. He was asking and she understood—after a fractional hesitation, she bent one knee, sliding her slender calf around his leg. Opening herself for him.

  The only thing he managed to remember after that was that she hadn’t been pleasured like this before. So he penetrated her slowly, letting her feel every tiny increment as he slid one finger into her sheath. She was scalding hot; he wasn’t surprised to discover she was tight as well. Her experience of intimacy appeared miniscule. She clamped firmly about his finger, her breath shivering in his ear. He turned his head, found her lips, and soothed her with a long, slow kiss. As he withdrew his finger, her hips instinctively tilted, her body begging for more. He gave it to her, clinging to the reins of his impulses, howling to have her, urgent and ravenous. He was too experienced a lover not to know what would be best for her; with his lips on hers, reassuring, distracting, and inciting in turn, he set himself to show her what could be.

  And when her fingers bit deep and she pulled back from their kiss as her body shattered in glory, he felt like a conqueror, victorious, triumphant, with the spoils of his conquest in his arms. Her released passion washed over him in waves, surge after surge of heat and fierce delight. The soft moan that escaped her, one of fulfillment laced with residual need, the waft of her ragged breaths against his cheek, the thundering of her heart pressed close to his, the evocative muskiness that rose from where his fingers filled her to combine with her perfume and drive him mad—all urged him on.

  She was ready, so gloriously tall, and he was desperate.

  It was the work of seconds to release his straining staff, to lift the leg she’d crooked about his knee to his hip. To draw his fingers from her hot wetness and set the head of his erection to her entrance. Gripping her hips, he caught her lips and plunged into her mouth, and into her heat.

  She screamed.

  The sound, trapped between their lips, reverberated through his head. Then she tensed, like a vise, about him.

  He gasped, breaking their kiss, grimly fighting for control. It couldn’t be—yet it was. Had been. The shock shook at least a few of his wits into place. After a fraugh
t second in which he tettered on the brink of madness, he managed to block out the physical long enough to ask, “How?”

  He had barely enough air in his lungs to form the word, but with her face close by his, she heard.

  “I . . .”

  Her voice quavered; she was, it seemed, as shocked as he, if not for the same reason. That, he could understand. If this was her first time . . . he was buried to the hilt inside her.

  She gulped in air. Her words came in a shaky whisper by his ear. “I was a child bride. My husband . . . he was much older. And ill. He wasn’t able to . . .” She released her grip on his arm to gesture. The movement caused her to shift upon him—she caught her breath on a fractured gasp.

  “Shh. Gently.” He found her lips and soothed her with a kiss while he struggled to take it in. A child bride left virginal by her aging husband? No doubt it did happen, although it had never before happened to him. Her unexpected innocence, however, raised a most pertinent question. Had she known he would . . . ?

  It took all his effort, and the last shreds of his will, to force himself to ask, “Do you want me to stop?”

  Hardly elegant phrasing, but it was all he could manage with her clamped, the tightest, hottest, wettest dream he’d ever had, about him.

  Her answer was a long time coming. His teeth were gritted, every muscle straining against the driving need to have her. With what little wit he still possessed he fought to ignore the warmth of the lush body in his arms, the constantly fluctuating pressure against his chest as she breathed rapidly, raggedly. He was so aware of her breathing, he knew when she reached her decision and drew in a deeper breath to deliver it.

  He steeled himself to accept it—and prayed.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  He exhaled. “Thank God.”

  “What—?”

  He kissed her deeply, reassuringly, then lifted his head. “Don’t think, just do as I say.” He hesitated, wishing for the hundredth time that he could see, then added, “It’ll feel a lot better very soon.” He could only guess what she was feeling—he couldn’t remember the last virgin he’d had. But she was still very tense; every muscle below her waist was locked tight. She was certainly not comfortable; she might even be in pain.

  Withdrawing from her and repairing to the bed would have been the simple option. Unfortunately, with her tensed as she was, withdrawing from her would probably cause her more pain. But the bed was a must. “Raise your other leg—wrap it about my waist. I’ll hold you.” When she hesitated, he brushed her lips with his. “Trust me. I’ll carry you to the bed.”

  She drew in a breath, and lifted her other leg, moving more confidently when she felt his hands shift and he took her weight. Locking her legs about him, sliding her arms about his shoulders for balance, she levered herself up a little, easing herself from him.

  He gripped her hips. “That’s enough.” Grimly denying the impulse to surge back into her, he turned and carried her the few feet to the bed. Carefully, he laid her down with her hips close to the edge. As he’d expected, she relaxed just a little on finding the bed beneath her. Just enough for him to ease out of her a fraction more as he straightened, not fully but so he leaned over her, his weight on his locked arms.

  Keeping his hips still, he found her face and brushed back the strands of gossamer soft hair that had fallen across her cheek. Her veil was still in place, still brushed back—he left it as it was. That, one day, she would remove for him, when she was ready to trust him with her name. Tonight, she was trusting him with her body—for tonight, that was enough.

  Framing her jaw, he leaned forward and kissed her. For a moment, she lay passive, then responded. Once she was kissing him back freely, he flexed his hips and pressed into her again, filling her, stretching her even more than before. She sucked in a breath and tensed, but then eased. He drew back and pressed in again, then repeated the movement, his action steady and even. He kept the tempo slow until her muscles relaxed, until her legs were loose about his hips, her hands lax, fingers trailing on his sleeves, her body open and accepting and starting to stir, starting to lift and surge with his rhythm.

  Mildly triumphant, he drew back. “Don’t move. Just wait.” Then he straightened completely. Reaching around, he felt for her shoes, and removed them. Tracing her long legs upward until he encountered her garters, he stripped them and her stockings off. Her chemise was the merest wisp of fine silk—he decided to ignore it for the moment. Shrugging out of his coat, he heard the crackle of the promissory note and their lists; he tossed the coat toward where he’d seen a chair. His waistcoat and shirt followed in short order, then he toed off his shoes and stripped off his trousers.

  The lamps in the sitting room had gone out; the darkness was intense. He couldn’t see her—only feel her, hear her, sense her. And she couldn’t see him.

  “What . . . ?”

  He reached for her, sliding his hands along her flanks, up over her sides. “Just trust me.” He joined her on the bed, rolling and lifting her as he did, moving them back so their long legs weren’t hanging over the edge.

  She gasped as he rose over her again, her hands clutching wildly as, palms flat on either side of her, he braced his arms and held himself above her. Wedging his hips between her widespread thighs, he surged and filled her until she was full. Then he lowered his head, searching for her lips. Her fluttering hands found his face, then her lips joined with his. She offered them, and her mouth, willingly, lovingly. He took both as he rocked her, rocked into her, until she was once again easy, accepting the smooth slide of his staff into her sheath with gratifying eagerness.

  Pulling back from the kiss, he held himself above her and changed the tenor of their joining. He kept the rhythm slow, but rolled his hips as he entered her, encouraging her to spread her thighs wider, raise her knees higher.

  Then her fingertips hesitantly touched his chest, another of her butterfly caresses. He bit his lip and concentrated on keeping to his slow beat. His muscles flickered and twitched as her fingers delicately traced over his chest, his waist, his flanks. Stifling a gasp, he thrust deeper. “Wrap your legs around me like before.”

  She obeyed instantly, locking her legs about his hips. “Now what?”

  She couldn’t see his smile. “Now we ride.”

  They did. Together.

  He’d purposely darkened the room to ease her fear of revealing herself, her identity, to him. In doing so, he’d unwittingly created a sensual situation beyond even his ken. Making love in total darkness emphasized the tactile sensations and amplified the soft, intensely sensual sounds. It was a new and very different experience, loving a woman blind.

  He was aware of every square inch where they touched, aware of the screening quality of her silk chemise, nowhere near as fine as the skin beneath it. He heard every little hitch in her breathing, every soft sound she made; he was attuned to every moan, every gasped, incoherent entreaty. He knew her perfume, but it was another scent that wreathed his brain, that of her and her alone. In his arms, in the dark, she became the epitome of woman, in truth the houri he’d labelled her. She was the essence of joy and the essence of madness; she was the ultimate challenge.

  His senses were full of her, focused most completely on where they joined. The heightened sensations left him reeling.

  He’d never before had a woman to equal her. That was borne in on him as they rode on, through their sensual landscape, scaling higher and ever higher peaks. She matched him—not just physically, although that was wonder enough; she clung, gasped, shattered, then rose again to ride on. But she was there, with him, urging him on, daring and challenging, joyously inviting him to dive into the sensual whirlpool her body had become. A whirlpool of giving.

  He demanded and she gave—not just generously but with a wild abandon that shattered his control. He couldn’t get enough of her; he drank greedily, yet her well was never dry.

  She gave him joy and delight and pleasure unimaginable, and in the giving received th
e same. When the end finally came and their ride ended in soul-shattering glory, he was, for the first time in his life, utterly beyond this world.

  One thought drifted past: He’d been the first to have her.

  A second later, that deeply buried part of him he rarely let loose growled a correction: The only one to have her.

  Holding her close, feeling her soften beneath him, he shut his eyes and drifted into pleasured bliss.

  She woke slowly, her senses gradually returning, her scattered wits reassembling in fits and starts. The first thing she was aware of was that there were tears in her eyes. They weren’t tears of regret but of joy—a joy too deep, too intense to find expression in word or thought.

  So that was what lay between a woman and a man. The thought brought a surge of giddy delight, followed immediately by a rush of gratitude—to him who had demonstrated so well.

  Her lips kicked up at the ends. She’d heard for years that he was an expert in that sphere—she could now attest to the fact. He’d been gentle and tender, at least once he’d realized she was a novice, but later . . . she didn’t think he’d held back.

  She was glad—glad of the experience, glad it had happened. Especially glad it had happened with him. That last made her frown.

  Even though it was dark and had been throughout, so that he’d been no more than a phantom, kissing her, caressing her, she’d always known it was he.

  Him. Her senses focused on the heavy body lying upon her, the heaviness within her, filling her, stretching her . . .

  The realization jolted her fully awake.