by Peter Dawes
Painstakingly, she poured over each spell and pointed out many of the repeated terms so I might become more familiar with them. The enchantments which allowed me to manipulate fire became items of particular interest and made up our time spent in that first session. One taught me how to form a larger ball of fire. Another showed me how to toss it from one hand to the other. The last one had me focus on engulfing my entire hand with flames, a trick which both unnerved and captivated me as it failed to burn either skin or clothing. The natural affinity I had forced her to pause in wonder several times during our exercises.
“Yes. One of your parents had natural talents,” she said as I closed my hand and snuffed out the fire. “I’m completely sure of it now, which leads me to wonder about their family lines. There aren’t many with such a strong pedigree.”
“My family has no pedigree,” I replied, my smile fading. Lady Cavendish attempted to catch my attention, but I fought against it, flexing my fingers and peering at my palm before rubbing my hands together. “It doesn’t matter,” I added. “Even if they did, I’d have no way of finding that out. They’re both dead.”
The weight of her gaze settled on me, forcing my attention back to her in time to catch the curl of her lips before it faded. “You’re resisting. There’s something about all of this you don’t want to talk about and it’s only making me curious, Christian. Do you still not trust me with your secrets?”
“Not after only one day, milady. If I might remind you I have good reason not to.”
“So you insist. Though how much so only leads me to wonder why you stress so much emphasis on it.” Jane hummed, holding my gaze hostage – as much forcing me to look at her as refusing to glance away. I felt a shiver crawl the length of my spine, not knowing from where it came, but certain of its existence nonetheless. It didn’t abate until she nodded and shut the book in front of us. “We should start back before it turns dark.”
It took every ounce of self-restraint I could summon not to exhale a sigh of relief as I stood. Gathering up the book, I helped her snuff out the lamps and extinguish the hearth while she tucked the candlesticks and holders away in the trunk where she had retrieved them. Lady Cavendish assumed her regal air anew, carrying it out with her and maintaining a pensive silence with me again while we rode back to her family manor. Upon returning, I took out Lawrence’s book to study for the remainder of the evening. My final thoughts before retiring were the same as they had been the previous night, centered on Paolo and how he might be busying himself.
Eleven more nights, I told myself, and then succumbed to rest.
The next day, we rode back to her cottage, this time with books from her personal library as well. The temptation had been present on the ride east to inquire as to why we never practiced in the manor; a question I answered myself as I recalled nearly razing the cottage. Both of us sat in front of that very same hearth after settling in, facing each other and holding hands while Jane taught me how to control the amount of energy I called forth. “You did well manipulating fire,” she said, her eyes still shut, “But this is your natural element, and not every spell is a simple thought. Some have to be built upon, like stairs ascending to another floor.”
“Very well, then,” I said, allowing my lids to drift closed and my posture to relax into the exercise. “How do I go about building these steps?”
“By learning to clear your mind first. Take a deep breath. Release it slowly and take another until you are ready to proceed.”
“And then what?”
“I want you to try to hold onto the energy which runs through you whenever you summon fire. Don’t do anything with it, simply clutch it in your chest and keep it there. Are you ready to try that?”
“Yes.” My chest rose as I drew in air and fell when the breath passed through my lips again. I repeated the process just as Jane had instructed, clearing my mind of anything but the invitation for my favored element to come out to play while doing so. A shiver raced up my spine, my grip on one of Jane’s hands tightening as a surge of power raced through me. I let it fill me, but held onto it rather than expelling it as I normally had.
Jane clasped onto me in return. I could hear the smile in her voice. “Yes, like that,” she coached. “Now let’s see how long you can contain it.”
“As the lady wishes.” My voice became a murmur, issued with only partial awareness while I fought to sustain the amount of force building within me. Tingles raced up one arm and across my shoulders, surging to my other hand while threatening to crack my concentration. I winced against it. “I’m not sure I can do this much longer,” I cautioned as a tremor settled in my limbs.
“Now, I want you to release it,” Jane said, “But do it slowly.”
“Slowly,” I repeated while exhaling a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. At the same time, I also ignored the very word I had issued back, feeling a rush race through me before I could stop it. Jane removed her hands in time not to be harmed, but the ensuing force pushed her one side and me, the other, causing us both to sprawl out across the floor. The lamps lit around us surged before dying down and the heat of the fireplace turned treacherously warm before diminishing. I lifted up on my elbow to regard Lady Cavendish. “Are you alright, milady?” I asked, unable to suppress the laugh which followed.
Jane slid up onto her palms and righted herself with a sigh. “Please pay more mind to slowly before you nearly incinerate us again, rogue,” she said, taking a deep breath to compose herself. For as terse as she issued the words, there seemed to be a hint of awe in her eyes as she clasped my hands again, a faint humor flickering through her expression which set my mind at ease. “Let’s try that once more, only this time, release it sooner so you can pace yourself.”
I settled myself back into position in front of her. “Sooner. Understood.” Nodding in agreement, I shook out the previous attempt from my limbs and tried once more. This time bore more success, the dispersal of energy more gradual and tapering off toward the end. As I opened my eyes, the final waves seeped from me, leaving me with a drunk and somewhat dizzy feeling in its aftermath.
Jane smiled at whatever expression must have been painted on my face, looking pleased. “Good. You didn’t nearly char us this time.” A good-natured wink followed the statement. Lady Cavendish sobered and let go of my hands, folding hers onto her lap. “These are the building blocks of a spell. There are many ways to channel power, but because you have the favor of the elements, I am teaching it to you this way. You use the power you gather to conjure magic. The bigger the spell, the more energy which is required. Just remember that, Christian. A spell is little more than a series of steps.”
Rising to a stand, Jane hurried around the room, gathering our things. I lifted up to my feet to follow suit, slipping books into the knapsack I had once again used to transport them. “A series of steps,” I said with a nod. “You said elements. I did mention I’ve manipulated wind a bit.”
“Yes, I intend to have us experiment with that next. Beyond that, there is water, earth, and quintessence, although the last one is a more elusive concept. I think of it as that part of us which we feed into the magic we cast. Our spirit, if you will, and the driving force of the world itself. You’ll struggle the most with earth, being such a volatile man, but you need to learn how to harness it just the same.”
“And when do we get to that?” Shutting the bag, I lifted its strap over my head and raised an eyebrow at Lady Cavendish.
She replied with another cryptic grin. “Tomorrow, my rogue. For tonight, I have other matters to attend to. I’ll show you my family’s library in the meantime so you can busy yourself with reading.”
“I believe I will do just that.” Offering her a bow, I succumbed to a more genuine and pleased expression, unable to contain the amount of excitement bounding through me in the moment. We regarded each other with smiles before I set about the task of extinguishing lamps and Jane strode outside to ready our horses. The rest of the evening was quiet, w
ith her absent during supper and taking solitary counsel in the courtyard afterward. I spent a few hours in the library before settling into sleep.
The following day, a spring found its way into my step, even if I tried to keep my outward appearance more reserved. We engaged in idle conversation throughout our ride through Plymouth and settled into our studies without the normal exchange of cutting remarks and posturing beforehand. I managed to summon a few gusts of wind, pleased with the advancement until the sound of thunder preempted us. We hurried from the cottage as quickly as possible and rode back to the manor, returning as the rain covered us in torrents, forcing us to seek out drier clothing in our respective rooms.
A knock sounded on my door almost immediately after I had finished dressing. “Her Ladyship wishes you in the library,” Frances, the matronly servant, directed from the other side of the threshold, punctuating the order with her customary glare.
I nodded my assent and followed her into the room, regarding it now by the light of day. While I had examined it the night before, I still found myself in awe of the sheer amount of shelves and volumes it housed; more than I had ever regarded in my life. As Frances shut the doors behind me, I fell into the temptation to scan each spine. “The luxury of opulence knows no bounds,” I said. “Although, I’ll say this much, these are the few possessions I believe to be money well spent.”
My gaze shifted to Jane in time to catch her laugh. The hearth crackled and filled the space with warmth, casting an inviting glow across everything it touched. I drifted further in the room as she crossed the space between us, her hair still damp and making her seem much more human in that moment. “Men wage battles,” she countered, “But my father says knowledge conquers lands.”
A faint chuckle passed through my lips. I stopped and regarded the deep woods and colorful adornments making up the rest of the room. “Is your family the conquering sort?”
“Aren’t most families of nobility? There’s a throne to be won after all.”
“Thrones are for those who lack imagination. I can think of better things to aspire toward.”
Her smile broadened, chin tilting upward while she regarded me with a glint in her eyes. “Irreverent peasant, we’ll see how much you scoff at power when you realize how much of it you’re capable of wielding.” Jane relaxed her posture, her expression turning less severe. “Now, for the last exercise I had planned on teaching you today. Fire and air are your friends, but how well can they get along together?”
I peered around the room before looking back at her. “Is this a safe place to be venturing such a challenge, milady?” I asked.
“Remember, you’re channeling their energy, not their appearance,” she said, extending her hands out to me. “Keep that in mind and both we and the servants can live to see another day.”
“Noble birth or not, you are a gambling woman.” Nodding, I drew a deep breath inward and released it slowly. Reaching out for her hands, I took hold of them and rolled my shoulders once. “So, I am to summon fire first, then hold onto it while calling for air? Very well, then.” My eyes shut, my focus given over to controlling the way my chest took in air and expelled it past my lips. I found myself in the darkness of my mind again, evoking my natural element and holding onto it with as much concentration as I could manage first before directing my focus elsewhere.
Reaching out toward wind, I attempted to capture it next, but it danced around me and evaded my grasp. A grumble surged from my throat, and after trying for it once more, my eyes opened. Jane lifted her lids as well and arched an eyebrow at me. “Is there a problem?” she asked.
“Yes, they seem not to want to play well,” I muttered. “Fire was simple enough, but I couldn’t claim the wind.”
“Try it the other way around, then.”
“I suppose it’s as good of an idea as any.” With a nod, I shut my eyes and cleared my mind again. Directing my concentration toward wind first, I felt for it and invited it closer, feeling it flit around me before settling into me. As my focus shifted to the second element, however, it escaped and left me back where I had started. “Bloody hell,” I said, releasing my hold on Jane and pacing away from her angrily.
I felt Lady Cavendish stare at me as I ran my fingers through the locks of my hair. “Christian, you are doing exceptionally well for such a new student,” she murmured in a soft, reassuring tone. “Allow yourself to make a few mistakes.”
For as strange as it sounded to hear my name spoken in such a winsome manner, it still managed to lure my attention back to her. Jane reached out for me again and a sigh passed through my lips as I responded with a nod. Taking her hands in mine once more, I shut my eyes and spent several moments calming my spirit. The world faded around me. I focused on the cadence of my breathing and the beating of my heart, not bothering with formalities; simply calling to both elements and reaching out to them at the same time.
They came maddeningly within reach. Faintly, I heard myself mutter the words of the spell I had first learned, in an effort to draw them nearer still. Fire clasped onto me, but as I made a final push for the air, it dissipated through my fingers, dispersed when I let go of Jane again and shook my head.
“It isn’t working,” I barked, not mindful of either the volume of my voice or its tone. “I think I might be too frustrated to make another attempt.”
Jane touched my chin and tilted my face up so that I might regard her. “You’re trying too hard,” she said. “Fire came easy and air likes to play, but doesn’t want to be claimed. You aren’t the first sorcerer to have this problem and you won’t be the last. We need to train your mind and that will take time.”
I scowled. “How many days can it take when we only have a fortnight?”
“We have as many as you’re willing to grant this.” Jane frowned when I turned away from her, but allowed me to escape. The weight of her gaze settled on me, but I chose to ignore it this time. “Christian, men spend decades trying to master magic. Nobody, not even the most talented, dies knowing how to do it all.”
“I don’t have decades!”
The way I shouted startled me enough to cast a glance at Lady Cavendish from across my shoulder. Her eyes widened, and my stomach twisted into knots at the confused look which surfaced in her gaze. Shaking my head, I turned my back to her once more and peered downward, ignoring her scrutiny as best as I could manage. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, thinking about the promise I had made to Paolo; the danger I knew I skirted against simply in being there. “I can just hear the questions you’ve ready to ask and I want no part in them.”
Jane remained in place as I walked closer to the hearth. Resting a hand on the wall beside it, I watched the fire dance, my mind in just as much tumult as each flame licking against the wood. My chest filled with air, breaths taken in and out as I attempted to quell my anger again.
“Why are you so resistant toward opening up?” Jane finally asked, breaking the silence.
“I told you, I am not of the mind to discuss it.”
“Regardless of whether or not you want to, I believe you must. You hold a secret in your heart that’s distracting you. Christian, I’m never going to be able to help you focus if you don’t let it go somehow.”
I scoffed, but failed to move when I heard her pacing closer. She paused behind me, touching my shoulder in a tentative manner and prompting me to tense. The gesture bore overly familiar tones, ones which called to mind the impropriety with which she approached her own station. I felt my frown deepen. “Lady Cavendish, I couldn’t answer your question honestly if I wanted to.” My voice lowered to a soft, hesitant whisper. “I think I might have already said too much.”
“By whose standards? You wanted a teacher and I’ve set out to be that to you. It’s challenging to instruct someone so at odds with himself, though.”
“I know who you serve and it isn’t your family.”
Jane sighed. Her fingertips slid from my shoulder to my back as she took another step closer
. “You’re speaking of the Luminaries, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.” I neither pushed her away, nor responded to her touch.
“And once again, the way you evoke them bears striking undertones. What do you think I am to them?”
“Does it matter, milady? I’m not an idiot. Whatever reason you have to be teaching me, I know it’s to their ends somehow.”
A soft chuckle passed through her lips. For how overt her actions had suddenly become, I didn’t expect it when she drifted closer still, her other arm sliding around my waist from behind. I remained frozen in position, not sure if I should turn or pray she retreated on her own. The latter seemed not probable the moment I felt the sensation of her breath on the back of my neck, causing the skin to prickle. “You’re smart,” she said, “So I won’t insult you by pretending otherwise. Yes, they want to invite you into the fold. It’s what they do when they discover a gifted sorcerer without an order.”
“They would find me apt to decline the offer.” I attempted to ignore the way her hand pressed into my chest. Her lips touched my neck and a shiver blossomed from the point of contact to the base of my spine, forcing me to clench my eyes shut. Thoughts of Paolo crossed my mind once more and as much as I tried to latch onto the outcry of my heart, I became keenly aware of how long it had been since I received a woman’s attentions. ‘That you were a more jealous soul, amico mio, this would be easier to resist.’ “Milady, you would lead me down the path of temptation,” I said, my breath turning shaky. “And then I would be guilty of sullying your honor.”
“You assume Lawrence was patient enough to wait for our wedding night to claim those rights.” An entreating tone settled into her voice. “Or are you distracting yourself with thoughts of my honor to avoid discussing other matters of discomfort?”
