Pack Up Your Troubles

by Anne Bennett

  Maeve wished there were no icy spears hitting the pavement outside, or that the attic was less of an ice box, for she’d have liked to get the little ones out of the way of what she sensed would be a nasty confrontation. She could have sent them back next door to Elsie, but guessed that that would make the situation worse.

  ‘Well, Kevin,’ Brendan said, before he’d stepped fully into the room. ‘No more lie-a-bed for you after next week. You’re fourteen on the Friday and you start alongside of me on Monday morning.’

  Kevin licked his lips and was glad of the long trousers covering his quaking legs. He stood straight, taking comfort from the height that topped his father’s, and said, ‘I already have a job starting Monday week.’

  ‘You have, begod? Where’s this job then?’

  ‘Moss’s grocery and tobacconist shop in Wellington Street.’

  He glanced at his mother and saw her stricken face. He’d told her what Syd had said the previous evening and she’d meant to talk to him that night, to explain that his father wouldn’t tolerate his working there. He had his son’s life planned. She’d make Kevin see sense, she was sure. She had no idea the boy would throw it at his father in this way.

  Kevin watched the blood drain from his mother’s face and Brendan’s mouth drop agape. ‘What the hell do you know about serving in a bloody shop?’

  ‘Enough, it seems,’ Kevin answered mildly.

  ‘You insolent young pup!’ Brendan cried, jumping forward and clouting Kevin’s head with the palm of his hand, and he heard a cry of protest from his mother.

  The blow knocked Kevin sick and off balance slightly, but as he leant panting against the mantelpiece he faced his father seemingly unafraid. ‘You do that again and I’ll give you the same back.’

  Brendan was stunned. Never had he expected one of his children to talk to him that way. ‘D’you all see what I’ve bred?’ he appealed to the rest of the family ranged round him. ‘The most ungrateful bugger in the world and turning on his own father.’

  Kevin was white with fury and Grace could have told anyone that was a bad sign. Her hands were curled into fists so tight the nails were digging into her flesh. She badly wanted to use the toilet – her bladder continued to be the barometer of her feelings – and she bit her bottom lip so hard it was bleeding. She seemed unaware of it as she seemed unaware of Bridget hiding behind her, covering her face with the folds of her skirt as she whimpered in fear. Jamie had retreated from his place beside Kevin when Brendan lashed out at him and leant for comfort against his mother’s side and his face was crumpled up with the effort of not crying. Maeve lifted Mary Ann, who’d begun to grizzle, higher up her hip, mindful of her swollen stomach and put her hand on her young son’s head. The air was electric. Maeve could almost smell the violence.

  ‘Ungrateful!’ Kevin spat at his father. ‘What the bloody hell have I got to thank you for? You led me and Grace a life of misery and, while you tried to beat me to death, you terrified the life out of my mother and sister. Mammy was so frightened what you’d do to us, she ran away and my grandparents brought us up for the last six years. You haven’t had to put your hand in your pocket much for us,’ Kevin said, and added with a sneer, ‘Our upkeep hasn’t affected your beer money any.’

  The punch took Kevin unawares and he staggered against the hearth, signing his mother away, as she would have come to his aid. ‘I’ve warned you,’ he said as he drew his hand across his mouth and it came away covered in blood.

  Brendan knew his son had the advantage of height and possibly brawn, though Brendan’s shoulders and arms were well muscled from the work he did, and he also had the advantage of weight and surprise. Kevin would be unused to fighting except the odd skirmish in the school yard maybe, and totally unused to the fighting of the streets.

  Before Kevin was able to right himself, Brendan’s hobnail boot caught him squarely between the legs. Kevin, clutching at himself, gave a cry and sank to his knees, but Brendan hadn’t finished with him and lashed out to either side of his face until Kevin fell forward on to the floor, and then he gave him a hefty kick in his stomach.

  The children were screaming in panic and Maeve knew she had to get them away. She handed the baby to her white, trembling, elder daughter and said, ‘Take them in to Elsie.’

  But Grace seemed to be in shock, staring transfixed at the scene before her as if she couldn’t believe it, tears trickling down her face. Maeve gave her a shake. ‘Grace!’

  Grace didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay with Kevin, who lay so still he might have been dead. ‘Is he . . . all right?’

  He was far from all right, but Maeve knew what she meant and she gave her husband a hefty push. Strangely, he didn’t retaliate, but after a glance at Kevin, slumped into an armchair. Maeve sank to her knees beside her son.

  ‘Yes,’ she assured her daughter, seeing Kevin’s chest rising and falling, ‘but get the weans away, for God’s sake.’

  She wished with all her heart they’d not been there. She glared at her husband as the door closed behind the distressed children. He sat before the fire as if the unconscious boy on the floor was nothing to do with him. He’d not any concern about him or taken any part in the exchange she’d had with the other children. A wave of hatred for the man she’d married, who seemed almost subhuman, rose in her.

  She got to her feet, went across to Brendan and looked him full in the face. ‘You’re a monster, Brendan!’ she hissed. ‘A bloody sadistic monster and I won’t stand this starting once more. Lay one hand on him again and I’ll see the authorities.’

  Brendan laughed a low malicious laugh. ‘About a man chastising his son?’ he cried. ‘You’re bloody barmy, woman.’ Leaping to his feet he slapped Maeve’s face with such force, she almost staggered into the fire.

  She righted herself and yelled at him, ‘Try it on, Brendan, and we’ll see who’s barmy.’ And she went past him to put the kettle on for warm water to bathe Kevin’s face.

  ‘Silly bugger had to be shown who’s master in this house,’ Brendan said, glaring at Maeve. ‘You’ve always spoilt the lad and taken his side against me. No father would put up with being spoken to like that. No bugger in the land would blame me for laying into him.’

  ‘Well, we’ll have to see about it, won’t we?’ Maeve said, too worried about Kevin to care about herself. ‘But I’m warning you, Brendan, that’s the last time you’ll beat him like that.’

  Brendan stared at her, amazed at her defiance and her answering back. It would never have happened before that sod Kevin had returned.

  ‘You watch what you’re saying to me or you’ll get the same.’

  ‘And just who are you but a brute and a monster, and attacking me will change nothing?’ Maeve bawled. ‘You’re the boy’s father; you should be helping him, not beating him up.’

  ‘Aye,’ Brendan said with a sneer. ‘I’m glad you remembered he’s my son at least. When he wakes tell him he’ll get more of the same if he defies me again, and you’ll do nothing about it if you know what’s good for you.’

  The slam of the door as Brendan left made Maeve jump, but she busied herself making Kevin as comfortable as she could with a rolled-up coat beneath his head. He came round as she bathed his face, and Elsie, coming in at that moment, saw the injured boy on the floor and Maeve’s swollen cheek and the trickle of blood running from one side of her mouth, and sighed in exasperation.

  Kevin felt as if he’d been run over by a tram, but the warm water was soothing. There was a searing pain between his legs that worried him most of all and he couldn’t help his face screwing up because of it, though he stifled the groan.

  Maeve guessed what was bothering him. She’d seen the power of the vicious kick and hoped there was no lasting damage. She knew Kevin wouldn’t mention it to her, so she said, ‘Do you want the doctor to look you over?’

  If Kevin agreed, she would take the opportunity to have a quiet word with Dr Fleming first and tell him why Brendan had attacked his son. She s
aw Elsie look at her strangely. Maeve knew she’d think it odd that she’d not think of having the doctor for herself, but was suggesting it for Kevin, but then she hadn’t witnessed what Brendan had done.

  Kevin shook his head. ‘I want no doctor,’ he said through gritted teeth and added, ‘And he needn’t think he can punch and kick me into a job I don’t want. This has made me more determined to make my own way.’

  Maeve blanched. ‘Kevin, lad, don’t fight him, for God’s sake,’ she pleaded. ‘I know it’s not right. It was to protect you as well as myself I fled that time. He’ll kill or cripple you before he’s finished if you try and stand up to him. He has it in for you anyway; he has done from the day you were born.’

  ‘Why?’

  Maeve shrugged. ‘I’ve given up trying to work out what goes on in his mind,’ she said. ‘I think it’s something to do with you being the first.’

  ‘Well, I don’t care if he hates my guts,’ Kevin stated, ‘because I hate his. I always have and I’m sorry, Mammy, but I won’t be bullied. I start at Moss’s full time a week on Monday and as far as I care he can jump in the canal, but he’ll not stop me.’

  Maeve heard the decisive words, but also saw the determined lift to the chin and the set to Kevin’s mouth. He reminded her so much of Brendan that she caught her breath. She wondered afresh what had soured that young man she’d once loved with all her being who’d courted her with all gentleness and consideration.

  Whenever she’d voiced these thoughts to Elsie in the past, Elsie would pooh-pooh the idea of her having any blame. She’d say that Brendan was from a violent home where his own mother and the wives of his brothers were often abused.

  ‘But did that mean he’d definitely be the same?’ Maeve would ask. ‘We all know of decent families where one child goes off the rails, or the other way round.’

  ‘Even so, if they’re from bad stock . . .’

  ‘God, Elsie, what does that make my children?’ Maeve had cried. ‘Will Kevin and Jamie become wife beaters because their father is, and Grace, Bridget and Mary Ann endure it because they think it’s normal and acceptable behaviour?’

  ‘Of course not, Maeve,’ Elsie had said. ‘Your children have you as a model.’

  It was on the tip of Maeve’s tongue to say Brendan and his brothers had Lily, but she knew Lily was no model for anyone. Maeve knew whatever the circumstance, she herself would never look totally unmoved and without a jot of sympathy at the battered wife of Kevin or Jamie lying on a hospital bed and blame the woman as Lily had.

  But the look on Kevin’s face showed that he had a lot of his father in him, though she knew better than to say so. ‘Help me up, Mammy,’ Kevin said, and both Elsie and Maeve lifted him to his feet and sat him in the chair by the fire. Maeve saw the way Kevin bit his lip to stop any cry escaping and she was filled with pity for him. ‘D’you want a bath, son?’ she asked.

  Kevin would have loved a bath. The warm water would soothe him and he could have a good look at himself down below, but his mother would first have to get the bath off the hook from behind the scullery door, drag it before the fire and fill it first with large pans and kettles of boiling water and then the same of cold water. He wouldn’t ask her to do that. She wasn’t strong enough and it wouldn’t be right in her condition, and Elsie was too old. Since his return he’d always filled his own bath after his mother had gone to bed. Once he had a job he hoped he’d have the money to go to the public baths, but that would be in the future and wouldn’t help that night.

  So he said, ‘No, Mammy, I think I’ll just be away to bed.’ He pulled himself to his feet gingerly and, stooping like an old man, he stumbled to the stairs.

  ‘Can you manage?’

  ‘Aye, Mammy. Don’t fuss.’

  Elsie waited till she heard his stumbling progress up the stairs before she said, ‘Like mother like son. That boy’s in agony. What in Christ’s name has the bugger done to him?’

  ‘What hasn’t he?’ Maeve said bitterly. ‘He kicked Kevin between the legs so hard it disabled him totally. Brendan then was able to lay into him with his fists and boots.’

  ‘And this was all about the job Grace told me he has got for himself?’

  ‘Aye,’ Maeve said, and added, ‘Well, at least that’s how it started, and then Brendan told Kevin he was an ungrateful bugger and Kevin let him have it.’

  ‘I admire him, but it was a foolhardy thing to do,’ Elsie said.

  ‘Don’t I know it?’ Maeve replied. ‘And he seems as determined as ever. I’d send him back home to my mammy, but I don’t think he’d go. Anyway, Brendan would just up and fetch him back, and likely after half killing me first.’

  ‘He could stay with me a wee while,’ Elsie offered.

  ‘No,’ Maeve said. ‘I couldn’t heap that on you. God, you’d not want Brendan constantly round your door, yelling and performing.’

  Elsie couldn’t say she did and so the two women talked on, but neither could find a solution to the dilemma, and Maeve went to bed with a heavy heart.

  When Kevin opened his eyes the next morning, he felt as if he’d dropped into a burning furnace and the pain between his legs was worse than ever. He sat up cautiously and eased himself out of bed, gasping as he tried to stand upright. Downstairs he could hear the rumble of voices and knew one was his father’s. Soon he’d be gone to work and then Kevin would slip downstairs and have a comforting cup of tea.

  He began to scramble into his clothes, which he left in a certain order every night so he could put them on in the semi-dark to avoid waking the others.

  He was pulling up his trousers when Grace suddenly sat up in the other iron bed and said, ‘Kev?’

  ‘Whisht, you’ll have the wee ones awake,’ Kevin whispered. ‘What d’you want?’

  ‘How do you feel?’

  ‘How d’you think? Bloody marvellous, so I am.’

  ‘What are you going to do, Kevin? About Daddy?’

  ‘Hate his guts, what d’you think?’

  ‘I mean—’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it, OK?’ Kevin said. He heard the door slam behind his father and added, ‘Anyway, I’ve got a paper round to do.’

  Grace listened to her brother’s laboured descent of the stairs and the little gasps and groans he was making as she slipped out of bed and dressed herself. Kevin tried to compose himself before he stepped into the room, but he felt breathless with the pain of it all. Sweat stood out on his forehead and his face was brick red.

  Maeve turned as he came in and saw the pain lines creasing his face, which was glistening with sweat. ‘Kevin?’ she said. ‘I was going to let you lie in today.’

  ‘I have a paper round, Mammy.’

  ‘You’re in no fit state,’ Maeve said. ‘We’ll get a message to Mr Moss.’

  ‘No, Mammy, he’ll give my job to someone else,’ Kevin protested.

  ‘Kevin, you can scarcely walk.’

  Kevin made an effort to straighten up, but a wave of nausea washed over him. Maeve saw the colour drain from his face and she sat him down, pressed a cup of tea into his hand and began toasting bread on the fire’s embers. She was spreading the second slice liberally with dripping when Grace entered the room.

  She was usually up early on Mondays to help her mother with the weekly wash, so Maeve made no comment on her entrance, but Grace looked at her mother and said, ‘Could you cope with the wash on your own today, Mammy?’

  ‘Why?’ Maeve asked. ‘What have you to do?’

  ‘Kevin’s paper round.’

  ‘No you don’t,’ Kevin cried. ‘It’s my round; I’ll do it myself.’ So saying, he tried to spring to his feet, but spasms of pain ran through his body at the sudden movement and he sank to the floor into an undignified heap with a moan of despair.

  ‘See sense, Kevin,’ Grace said, nibbling at the toast meant for her brother and watching Kevin being helped into the chair by their mother. ‘If I don’t do it till you’re better, your boss will just get someone else, a
nd that’s the end of your job, isn’t it? And maybe your career as a shopkeeper too will be over before it’s begun.’

  ‘He’ll not be able to do that, anyway,’ Maeve said, and added to Grace, ‘You best tell that to Mr Moss. Tell him he’ll be starting with his dad instead a week today.’

  She still thinks I’m going into the foundry, Kevin thought. After all that has happened, she still thinks that, and he shook his head at his sister.

  Grace caught his line of thought and had no intention of telling this Mr Moss anything, but she didn’t bother arguing with her mother. Instead, she said, ‘OK, Mammy. But it will leave Mr Moss in a hole today if Kevin just doesn’t turn out at such short notice. I mean, he’s been good to us. Look at the cars he gave Kevin for Jamie’s birthday.’

  Maeve frowned. ‘I don’t want to let the man down right enough.’

  ‘Then let me go,’ pleaded Grace. ‘After all, three and six is three and six.’

  Maeve nodded. ‘All right then, but have a cup of tea before you go.’

  Kevin, accepting the inevitable and feeling guiltily glad that he didn’t have to go out into the icy morning said, ‘What will you tell him?’

  ‘That you’re sick, what else?’ Grace said. ‘Do you want me to tell him all about our family problems?’

  ‘Hardly,’ Kevin said. But Kevin knew Syd Moss might well become involved in them if he was to work there full time. Brendan would be sure to make his presence felt sooner or later and, Kevin thought, in all fairness he ought to make Syd Moss aware of the risk he was taking by offering him employment. Maybe it was fairer to have a word with him and put him in the picture when he was well enough to take up his paper round again.

  That was not until Thursday morning and even then the bruises were still evident on his face. The puffiness had gone down a little and the throbbing ache between his legs had settled down to a bearable pain level.

  Kevin was glad he had a thick coat with a scarf and Balaclava and strong boots to keep out the winter chill. He knew he was better dressed than many round the streets and he kept his scarf pulled up and his Balaclava down when he entered the shop, although he knew Syd probably wouldn’t have time to study him properly. That time in the morning was the busiest as men on their way to work called in for their daily paper, baccy or ciggies, and even sweets if they had the points for them.