Maz

by Jessie Cooke

  21

  Maz was beat. He and Sledge had spent hours in the swamp before it finally got too dark and they decided to call off the search for the day. He’d left a message for Hunter to update him and just as they rolled up behind the little Honda Civic in front of his parents’ house, Hunter was returning his call.

  “Go ahead and go on in,” he told Sledge. “If I know Elise, she’s got dinner on the table already.” Sledge nodded and headed inside. Maz sat on the front steps and answered Hunter’s call.

  “Hey, man, sorry I missed your call. Shit’s going down over here. Nikkas hit the ranch today. The Skulls won this battle, but I’m starting to worry that Dax isn’t going to be able to put this war off much longer.”

  “Fuckers,” Maz said.

  “Yeah, definitely. So, your message said you found something?”

  Maz told him about renting the boat and then spotting the duffel bag. “We thought there was a human arm hanging out of it and it looked like blood on the bag and smelled like death. Turned out, it was a fucking Target mannequin, the black stuff on the duffel bag was too old to tell what it had been, and the smell of death was coming from a boar that had been gutted a few yards away, probably by the same gator that ate through the bag. It looks like Jammer had food in there inside an insulated bag and that’s what the gator was after. We spent a good five hours on foot, exploring every little piece of land we could find, but that was the only sign of him.”

  “Damn. Well, at least we know he was there, recently.”

  “Yeah, but what bothers me the most is that the bag had a pup tent, two rifles, a handgun, and two knives in it as well. I don’t know how much firepower he brought with him, but I hate to think he’s out there wandering around with no weapons to protect himself, and no shelter, or food…”

  “I suspect from some of the stories I’ve heard that Jammer’s been in lots of worse places and lots of worse situations. If he’s looking to survive, I think we can be optimistic that he will.”

  “I hope so,” Maz said. “We’re back in NOLA for the night. We’ll get some sleep and head out again at dawn.”

  “Okay, buddy. Thanks a lot and keep me posted. Hey, while I have you on the phone…”

  “Is this about Rhonda?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Let’s save it. I can’t concentrate on what I need to do if I’m obsessing over that shit.”

  “Okay,” Hunter said, “you’re the boss.” Maz ended the call and just as he did, he heard the sound of a board creak on the porch behind him. When he turned and saw Marissa, his heart stopped beating, just for a second, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Her long, dark hair hung in waves down her back and the top of it shone in the light from the front door. She was wearing a simple dress, dark blue with white trim. It stopped just above her knees, and on her feet she had a pair of white sandals. She was looking at him with her big, dark eyes like she had something important to say, but her mouth was open and nothing was coming out. He practically jumped to his feet, almost falling down the steps and said,

  “Marissa? What the hell? What are you doing here?” She flinched like his words stung and he felt bad as soon as they were out of his mouth. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean that to sound so harsh, but…I’m confused.”

  “I’m sorry. I just needed to talk to you and you wouldn’t take my calls. I promise, if you’ll just give me five minutes, I’ll go away if that’s what you want, Maz…”

  His chest felt like it was caught in a vise. How much did God hate him that he could make him love a woman this much that he couldn’t have? “I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls,” he said. “I’ve just been really busy…”

  “Maz, please, just be honest with me. If you don’t want to see me again, it will hurt me…but I’m a big girl and I can take it. What I can’t take is sitting in California and not knowing until you decide to come back, if you do.”

  “You think I’m not going back? Of course I’m going back. I was going to talk to you when I got there.” Maz looked up behind Marissa then and he saw Elise’s face in the dining room window. He wondered how much Marissa had told her, especially when he saw what he used to refer to as the “disappointed frown line” between her blue eyes. He reached out for Marissa’s hand and said, “Let’s go for a walk.” She took his hand and the feelings that simple touch generated in his body made him feel like some kind of pervert. She was his sister. He needed to make that a mantra in his messed-up head. He looked both ways before leading her across the dark street to the little park that sat across from their home. He didn’t stop until he got to the swings and then with a small smile he looked at her and said, “Pull up a seat.”

  Marissa let go of his hand and he felt cold, all over. He sat on the swing next to the one she sat on and for several long seconds they were both completely silent. The squeaking of the swing, as she pushed herself back and forth with her feet, grated on him until he finally reached over and took the chain in his hand and stopped her. “Why is it so hard for you to tell me you don’t want this…us?” she asked.

  He laughed, but not happily. Standing up because he could no longer sit still he said, “If that was the case, I’m sure it would be hard, because you’re not like any woman I’ve ever met. But that’s not the case, Marissa. I want this. I want us, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

  She frowned and got that same line that Elise got between her eyes. “Then…what has this week been about? I am so confused.”

  He sighed. “I know. I’m so fucking sorry. I know. This is so weird and it’s so hard for me to talk about. I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Start at the beginning.”

  He laughed and said, “Okay, well, you know my mother abandoned me, right?”

  “That’s what this is about? Your mother?”

  “Yes…but it’s so much deeper than that. Marissa, my mother’s name was Rhonda Lane.” Once again, she looked like she’d been struck in the face. He watched as the color drained out of it and he felt sick to his stomach. She started to shake her head back and forth.

  “No. That’s not possible.”

  He sat back down next to her and said, “Marissa, trust me, I know how hard this is to accept, but it’s true.” He reached for her hand again and she pulled away.

  “No, you’re wrong. My mother wouldn’t do that. She’d never just leave her child. She wanted a child more than anything.”

  “Ma chérie, I’m sorry. I don’t want it to be true, but it all fits.”

  “It’s not true.”

  He sighed. “I know the idea of what we did…I mean, it makes me feel so…” Suddenly she looked up at him with wide, round eyes.

  “Oh my God!” He thought that it just dawned on her what he was talking about. She’d had sex…a lot of sex…with her brother. She put her hands on the sides of her head and rocked back and forth for a few seconds. When she looked back up at him she said, “You think you had sex with your sister. Oh God, Maz…that’s not true.”

  He wished that he could be in denial like she was. But now that it was out, he had to convince her that it was true, and there was no way they could be together. “Marissa, you can ask my maman and my papa, they’ll tell you…”

  “No, Maz,” she said, putting her hands on the sides of his face. He had an overwhelming urge to kiss her, and then felt sick to his stomach almost all at the same time. What the hell is wrong with me? “I’m not your sister. Maz…my mother never had a child, do you hear me? The doctors told her she couldn’t get pregnant because of her brittle diabetes. Her kidneys are so bad that she’s already lost complete function in one of them. She’s never had a child.”

  “Marissa, you’re not making sense.”

  “I’m adopted, Maz. I’m not her blood, and neither are you.”

  Maz’s head was spinning and his ears were ringing. All the blood seemed to have drained from his brain and he was trying to process what she just said. “You were adopted?” he f
inally managed. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “I don’t know. Nobody knows except me and Mom. I just always felt like it was disrespectful somehow to tell people that she couldn’t have children. It’s always been part of why she had no self-esteem. She said she felt like half a woman. It just didn’t matter to me. She took me in when I was barely three years old, so that I didn’t have to go to a foster home, and she adopted me eventually, and she’s been the best mother I could have ever asked for. If not for her, I would have grown up with parents who were addicted to drugs and would have done anything to get them. My father got some girl pregnant when they were teenagers. She was murdered by a drug dealer before I was even a year old. He kept me, which I guess I should give him a little credit for, but he didn’t stop using. He got into another relationship right away. It was with a woman named Tammy…she was Rhonda’s sister. When I was three, Tammy and my father overdosed on some bad heroin. I was in a motel room alone with them for days.

  “Rhonda found me. She had gone looking for her sister and she found her dead. I don’t know what all she went through to adopt me but before my grandmother died she told me that Mom changed her whole life for me. She was partying a lot back then, not with drugs but a lot of alcohol. She wasn’t taking care of herself and my grandma told me that they thought she would be the one to die young. But as soon as she took me in, she cleaned up her life. She stopped drinking and she got a job and she started taking care of her health. I didn’t live in a fancy house or anything, but I grew up knowing I was loved, and I was always taken care of and I always had what I needed. That’s who my mother is, Maz…she’s not a woman who would abandon her child…and I’m not your sister.”

  Maz felt like he was in shock. There were so many emotions fighting for top billing inside of him. He was ecstatic that he hadn’t fucked his sister, of course. He was as happy that it meant he could be with Marissa…have a real future with her. But he had been sure Rhonda was his mother, and deep down, he still felt like that was true. But if it was…and she had changed her whole life to take in a child that wasn’t even hers…and abandoned one who was…then he was sure he’d never be able to forgive her for that. If he couldn’t forgive her, would Marissa want to be with him? Jesus, what a fucking mess. He looked at Marissa again. She was staring at his face, waiting for him to say something. Finally, remembering what Elise always told him about following his heart, he took her face between his hands and said, “Dieu Merci, je t’aime, Marissa.” She waited until he kissed her…devoured her mouth, really. He touched every part of the inside of her mouth with his tongue, caressed it, licked her lips, and then kissed her again. Breathless and with that desire in her eyes that drove him crazy, she said,

  “English?”

  “I said thank God…and I love you.” Marissa smiled with tears filling her eyes and she said:

  “I like that; say it again. The ‘I love you’ part.”

  “Je t’aime, Marissa.” He watched as she whispered it to herself and then with a smile she said:

  “Je t’aime, Maz.”

  22

  Sitting through dinner with Elise staring at him, Marissa only inches away, and his father and Sledge completely oblivious, had been hard. Sitting in a room three feet away from Marissa’s in the middle of the night was impossible. Their rooms shared a bathroom and after he’d said goodnight to her downstairs and went to his room to shower, the fact that she was not his sister was in the forefront of his mind…as well as all of the things he wanted to do to her. His exhaustion had all but disappeared and now, wide awake and unable to stop thinking about her, he paced his room, back and forth, and fought the urge to knock on her door.

  He knew they’d have to deal with the Rhonda issue, and soon. He knew it would probably be better to do that before they went any further with their relationship. He also knew that he loved her and no matter what happened between him and Rhonda, that wasn’t going to change. Finally, unable to stand it a minute longer, he walked over to the bathroom door that separated them and raised his hand to knock. Before he did, he watched the handle turn and the door be pushed open. He had to step back so it didn’t hit him in the face. Marissa sucked in a heavy breath, like he’d startled her, and suddenly he felt like a creepy pervert…like maybe she was going to think he was peeking through the keyhole. Quickly he said:

  “I’m sorry. I was about to knock.”

  She smiled up at him. She was wearing a long t-shirt and her legs and feet were bare. She’d braided her hair and washed off her makeup. Her face looked fresh and clean and once again he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her. “It’s okay,” she said. “I was headed over to knock on your door.”

  “Really?”

  She giggled. “Yeah, really. But I feel kind of like an adolescent, sneaking around in the middle of the night. I fought the urge for a while because I’d never want to disrespect your parents. They’ve been so good to me.”

  “They like you,” he said. “I can tell.”

  Giggling again she said, “I’m not sure they’d think so much of me if they could read my thoughts right now.”

  Maz smiled, wickedly, and said, “Well, I can read them and I think the fucking world of you still.”

  She stood on her toes and kissed him softly on the lips and said, “That’s probably because you have the same naughty thoughts on your mind.”

  “Always, when you’re anywhere near me,” he said. He gently pulled her into the bathroom by her arm and closed the door behind her. Pushing her up against it with his leg, he lowered his mouth and captured her lips. He spent the next full minute making love to her mouth with his lips and tongue. When he pulled out of the kiss, she had her face tipped up and her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were swollen and wet and her eyes were closed. She looked like every fantasy he ever had, all wrapped up in one woman. When her long eyelashes finally fluttered, and she opened her eyes, she said:

  “Does your bed squeak?”

  He chuckled. “Afraid so…but I have a better idea anyway. Come with me.” He took her hand and led her into his bedroom and over to the door.

  “Where are we going?” she whispered. He didn’t answer her. He cracked the door open just enough so that he could survey the hallway. After making sure no one was up, or at least wandering the halls, he stepped out into the hall, pulling her along behind him. He quietly closed his bedroom door and then led her a few feet down the hall to another doorway. He opened it and stepped up on the staircase, again, pulling her behind him and closing the door. “Is this the attic?” she whispered. “Attics freak me out a little bit.” He kept guiding her until they made it to the third-floor landing. It used to be an attic, but his father had converted it when he was a kid. It used to be his game room and his dad had reinforced the wooden floorboards so they didn’t creak and make a lot of noise when he and his friends were up there playing their video games or whatever. The ceilings were low and Maz had to duck to make his way through the room, but Marissa slipped right underneath the low beams. He took her over to a long couch that was still pointed in the direction of a television set and game system. He sat down on the couch and pulled her down next to him. Marissa was still looking around the room. There was a round, etched window where the outside peaks of the roof met, and moonlight was streaming in, highlighting her pretty face. “This is really cool,” she said. “It was your game room?”

  “Mm-hmm,” Maz said, going in for another kiss. He kissed her lips and nibbled at her bottom one, drawing it into his mouth and sucking on it. She let out little moans and whimpers and her own tongue came out to play, tracing the outline of his lips and sliding in the seam and tangling up with his. Maz played with her for a while, but soon the passion took over and he tangled his hands up in her hair and pulled her in tighter for a soul-searing kiss that made them both breathless. She pulled back to take a breath, and the lust in her eyes made his pulse race and the snake come alive. He reached down and pulled up the t-shirt she was wearing and he ga
sped when he got it up high enough to see that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. “No panties, ma chérie?”

  In a breathless voice she said, “I was hoping I wasn’t going to need them.”

  Maz smiled and pulled the t-shirt all the way off over her head and gently lowered her back down to the couch. Her body was so beautiful, he just stared at it for several seconds and reminded himself how close he came to losing her. He shuddered as he ran a finger slowly around the outside of one breast and then the other…and then he traced her nipples, causing her body to shudder. He lowered his mouth and drew one of her nipples into it, swirling his tongue around the hard peak. Using his hand, he stimulated the other one with light touches, flicks, and tweaks that made her squirm and whimper underneath him. When he finished tormenting one nipple with his mouth, he moved over to the other, loving the way that she arched her back for him and put her hands on the back of his head and pulled him into her breast. He sucked hard on the second one with his mouth open wide, and when he popped the suction between his lips and her flesh, he saw that he’d left it rimmed in red. He’d marked her, and something about that thought made the snake throb. He wanted to mark her more…suddenly…like a wild animal that wanted to mark his territory. He opened his mouth wide as he moved up to her. Clamping down on a piece of soft, supple flesh, he began to suck hard. She was breathing hard and making sexy little noises as she squirmed and rubbed her body against him.

  When he finished leaving a huge, red mark on her neck that would be purple by morning, he moved back to her breasts. He used just his tongue this time to lick and flick them, enjoying the way they grew and hardened against his taste buds. Once he had them both nice and wet with his saliva, he cupped his hand around one full breast and blew on the nipple, causing her to shiver. He did the same to the other and she groaned, and he felt her try to rub her pussy into him.