The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  I looked back at Nova. Her eyes fixed on Jackson as he clasped her hand. She had her lips pursed and I knew she wasn’t impressed with our topic of conversation, so I said, “It doesn’t matter. Forrest is it for me. I don’t think I could love anyone else.”

  Nova’s eyes flashed to me as a slight smile curled her lips.

  Mom shrugged, patting my arm. “I don’t expect you to date him. I’m just making an observation.”

  In Bearville, we dropped off Nova with the psychiatrist and she went straight in. I wondered what they did since she didn’t talk, but her tension had decreased, so she was definitely making progress.

  Mom and I found a small café nearby and sat to chat. We both kept it light, talking about anything other than Forrest and Nova. It felt nice to pretend to forget, even for just a moment, and act as if nothing ever happened and Forrest was safe at work.

  The time came for me to drop off Mom at the tiny rural airport. I didn’t want her to go, as all of a sudden, my fear took hold of me. I clung to her, knowing that soon, I’d be alone to deal with Nova and take care of Jackson. How could I do it without Forrest?

  I waved to her as she walked away, a lump forming in my throat. Grief and loneliness swept over me, so I hurried back to the car to weep in private. What was I going to do? The reality that Forrest was gone came crashing down on me and my heart broke. I cried and cried, while Jackson entertained himself, unfazed by my grief.

  Finally, I managed to regain my composure and glanced at the clock. “Crap!” I started the engine and sped to pick up Nova.

  She stood kicking the muddy snow at the edge of a garden. I pulled into a space in front of her and leapt out. “Nova, I’m so sorry!”

  She shrugged and climbed into the backseat.

  I jumped back in and said, “Let me make it up to you. Would you like an ice cream or something?”

  She shook her head.

  “Surely there’s something you’d like. Some new music maybe?”

  She rolled her eyes and waved her hand for us to leave.

  “I’m really sorry.” I reached for her, but she shoved me away, turning her attention to Jackson as he cooed beside her. I sighed and buckled.

  We returned to town, and I parked on the street outside the grocery store. I dashed around to pull out Jackson, as Nova stared out the window, pouting. “Do you want to come in? You can pick dinner?”

  She shook her head, but didn’t look at me.

  “Okay.” I lifted out Jackson and set him on my hip.

  I hurried to grab what I needed, and stood discussing what I should make for dinner with Patrick, when Nova burst in. She ran straight for me and clutched my arm, her eyes wide and frightened as she stared back at the door.

  “Nova, what’s wrong?”

  She kept staring at the door.

  “What is it?” I moved toward it, but she pulled me back, shaking her head.

  I looked back, and a moment later, the sheriff walked in. He made a beeline for us and tipped his hat. “Those boarding school kids are back in town.”

  I groaned. “Wonderful.”

  “I’ll keep them away.”

  The bell tinkled and loud laughter filled the store.

  Nova whimpered and clutched tighter to my arm.

  I looked at her. “Nova, are you all right?”

  She shook her head and tugged my arm.

  “Some of the boarding school kids give the tribe kids a hard time,” the sheriff said. “But, don’t worry, Nova. They won’t come near you with me here.”

  She glared up at him and pointed to the door.

  “Still don’t like me, huh?”

  She shook her head and turned her nose up at him.

  “Let’s just get this food,” I said.

  We made our way to the checkout, when a wolf whistle cut across the store. “Hey blondie, looking fine.”

  I ignored the boy, but the sheriff turned, bringing their jeering to an abrupt end.

  But, Nova trembled and with a whimper, she dashed back outside.

  “Nova!” I called.

  “She’s probably just gone to the car,” the sheriff said. “I would, too, if I were her.”

  Soon, the boys cleared out of the store. I watched them leave, a pit forming in my stomach. “Go check on Nova for me? I have a bad feeling about those boys.”

  The sheriff nodded and stepped to the door. As he opened it, an ear-piercing screech filled the air.

  “Hey!” the sheriff bellowed and ran out.

  I handed Jackson to Reba and rushed after him.

  The boys had my car surrounded, and one door open. Several boys held the other doors shut, trapping Nova inside as one boy, the Richard’s boy, had her pinned against the car seat. “Scream again, injun!” he yelled.

  The sheriff rushed toward them, his gun raised. “Get away from the car!”

  The boys surrounding it backed off, but the Richard’s boy held Nova down. I rushed forward as he snarled, “I said scream!”

  With one fierce heave, the sheriff pulled him out and tossed him on the ground. I rushed in and grabbed Nova’s hands.

  She screamed at my touch, but when her eyes locked on me, she threw her arms around my neck and sobbed. But then, she shoved me away. She scrambled over the car seat and burst out the door, sprinting hard up the street.

  I climbed out of the car, and heard the sheriff speak on his radio. “Clark, Nova’s on the run. Pursue.”

  “Pursue?” I swung to him. “Leave her alone. They just attacked her!” I pointed to the Richard’s boy on the ground.

  The corner of the sheriff’s lips curled ever so slightly. “As the legal guardian, do you wish to press charges?”

  “Yes!” I yelled.

  “Excellent.” He reached over and pulled the boy onto his feet. “I’ve wanted to throw this one in a cell for a while, racist little punk.”

  I glanced around and saw the others were gone.

  “You adopted the little savage girl, huh blondie?” the boy hissed.

  I scoffed. “Sheriff?”

  “Gladly.” He shoved the boy hard and dragged him away.

  I stared up the street wondering where Nova had gone. We weren’t far from home, so I hoped she went straight there. I returned into the store to collect Jackson.

  Back at the house, Nova was nowhere in sight. I sighed again and set Jackson down to let him shuffle around on the floor, working on his crawl. I paused at my wedding photos on the wall and touched Forrest’s face. “Please come back to me.”

  Jackson shuffled into the front room, then I hurried out to the car to bring in the bags.

  After making dinner, Nova still hadn’t shown up. My stomach clenched. I couldn’t bear losing her, too. Plucking up Jackson from the floor, I dug my phone out of my handbag. “Sheriff?”

  “I’m off duty—”

  “Nova hasn’t come home.”

  Pause. “I’ll be right there.”

  I hung up and paced the entryway, clinging to Jackson. My stomach churned as my head spun. The door flew open, making me start. “Sheriff!”

  “Paul,” he muttered. “I called Clint on the way over; he’s the one on duty right now. We’re putting together a group to find her.”

  “What if something’s happened to her?” I rubbed my eyes as tears blurred my vision. “I can’t . . . not a second time.”

  He grabbed my shoulders. “We’ll find her.”

  “It’s getting cold and I made her wear a skirt today.”

  He let out a long breath. “Stay here, I’ll send someone over.”

  My gaze shot up to him. “I want to help.”

  He shook his head. “You need to stay with Jackson.”

  “No.” I gla
red up at him. “Send someone over to watch him because I’m going with you. I can’t just sit here making myself sick with worry again.”

  His gaze fell on Jackson in my arms. “All right. I’ll call Sarah.”

  Within five minutes Sarah burst through the door. Her brows furrowed as she lifted Jackson from my arms. “Find her.”

  I nodded as the sheriff caught my elbow and dragged me out to his truck. We met the group at the front of the sheriff’s office where the sheriff took over from Clint, dividing everyone into teams to sweep the town and the area surrounding it. He kept me with him and we headed down to the park by the stream.

  We started at the edge of town, and moved along either side of the banks. The knots in my stomach tightened with each step, while I struggled to hold in my tears. Beside me, chatter came from the radio attached to the sheriff’s hip. The other groups cleared one area after another. Is this what happened the night Forrest disappeared? I didn’t want to think about it, it only made me feel sick.

  A hand wrapped around mine. The sheriff walked right beside me. “Don’t cry. We’ll find her.”

  I touched my cheek, feeling the wetness. “It’s Forrest all over again.”

  He squeezed my hand. “We’ll find her.”

  He dropped my hand and we continued down in formation. We passed through the park, and I found myself right on the banks of the river. There, a soft sobbing drifted to my ears. “Paul?”

  “What?”

  “Turn off your radio.”

  He flicked it off and motioned for our group to halt.

  I shut my eyes, straining my ears. Up ahead. My eyes shot open and I rushed into the bushes. I pushed and shoved my way through until I reached a small alcove among the branches. There, I froze, seeing Nova clawing at the earth. All around the soil had been churned up, and long, slender, finger lines covered the area.

  “Nova.”

  She spun and screeched. She leapt to her feet and shoved me, darting toward the bushes.

  But, the sheriff caught her. “Nova.”

  She screeched again and punched his chest.

  He wrapped his arms tightly around her to restrain her, as our group converged on us.

  One of the men plucked the radio out of the sheriff’s pocket. “We’ve found her, over.”

  Static followed, before Clint responded. “Good job guys. Everyone meet back at the station. Davis is that what you want? Over.”

  The man lifted the radio for the sheriff to speak. “This is Davis. Everyone meet at the station. Out.”

  The man clipped the radio back on the sheriff’s belt.

  Nova still struggled against the sheriff, screaming and wailing in vain.

  He looked at the ground, and all our flashlights dropped to the dirt. Long claw marks stretched out several feet in each direction.

  “I think we’ve found a new starting point for the Miller search,” He eased Nova over to the man who helped with the radio’s arms, ensuring he had a secure grip on her.

  I caught my breath and glanced around. Forrest! I fell to my knees and clawed at the edge of Nova’s marks.

  “Braydon,” the sheriff said firmly.

  “You think he’s here!” I cried. “You think Forrest is nearby. I have to find him.”

  “Bray.” His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me to my feet. “I don’t want you looking.”

  I slapped his chest. “He’s my husband!”

  “Exactly.”

  My face fell into his chest as I cried. “I just want him back!”

  I clung to his shirt, desperate to feel human contact again. To my relief, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and his fingers wove into my hair.

  I shut my eyes, pretending he was Forrest. He was just as warm, his arms felt just as strong, but his bulk took the affect away. I didn’t mind, I just needed someone to hold me.

  He swung up my legs and carried me back to the truck.

  When we arrived at the parking lot, the group congregated around his truck. Inside sat Nova, covered in dirt. With the cab light on, I saw tear stains down her face.

  I pulled myself free and stumbled over, forcing my way through and into the car. Nova tried to push me away, but I pulled her into my arms. She struggled against me, but I refused to let go.

  “Nova, you scared me,” I sobbed. “If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do.”

  She made a strange strangled sound, but stopped struggling. I buried my face in her hair. Her arms wrapped tightly around me.

  “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” I said firmly, but my voice quivered with emotion.

  Her whole body shook as she sobbed into my chest.

  I stayed in the backseat with her as we drove back to the sheriff’s office. Everyone softly told me how relieved they were as I remained holding Nova on the backseat, her face pressed into my chest.

  When most of the crowd dissipated, the sheriff came around and opened the door. “Bray, I just need to talk to Clint and I’ll take you home.”

  I stroked Nova’s hair. “No, I think we’ll walk. I need to talk to Nova.”

  She flinched, but didn’t protest as I pulled her out of the truck.

  We walked down the deserted Main Street in silence, my hand clutching hers so she didn’t try to run off again. Finally, heart pounding, I spoke. “Nova, you can’t run off like that.”

  She huffed.

  “I was terrified I’d lose you, too. I can’t . . . ” I pulled her arm into mine. “I’ve been thinking about maybe adopting you, and if you—”

  She gasped and pulled up.

  I turned to her as she stared at me wide eyed. “What’s wrong?”

  She rested her hand over my heart then held her other hand over her own.

  “I’m sorry?”

  She rolled her eyes and tapped my chest before weaving her fingers into mine.

  “You really need to use words.”

  She huffed and wrapped her arm around mine. She pointed at herself, then my abdomen and finally my heart.

  “Ah . . . oh!” Of course. “Yes, you’re like family to me. I want you to be my daughter.”

  She pulled free, slowly looking me over.

  “If you don’t want that, then—”

  She covered my mouth and stared into my eyes. More than anything, I wanted to know what she felt, and what thoughts ran through her mind at that moment.

  Her hand dropped and she rested her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my waist. Startled, I stared at her, then hurried to reciprocate.

  I led her home, arms wrapped around each other.

  When we entered, Sarah’s gaze lifted off the TV screen. She leapt up and rushed over. “Thank goodness she’s all right.”

  Nova flashed a disgusted look at her. Pulling away from me, she plodded up the stairs to her room.

  Sarah glanced at me. “Didn’t she want to come home?”

  I shook my head. “She knows you went out with the sheriff last night, and she hates the sheriff.”

  She turned to me. “You got all that from a look?”

  I shrugged. “Knowing her helps.”

  She wrapped her arm through mine and led me into the living room. “I’m so glad she’s fine, for your sake.”

  I tried to smile, but my heavy heart prevented it. “Thank you for watching Jackson.”

  “Any time.” She stroked my hair.

  Someone knocked on the door. I frowned, and Sarah said, “Who’s that?”

  “I don’t know.” I hurried to answer it.

  As I opened the door, the sheriff pulled off his hat. “Braydon, I just wanted to make sure you and Nova got home safely.”

  “Yes, we’re fine.” I motioned up the stairs. “She w
ent straight to the bathroom.”

  As if on cue, the shower started.

  He glanced up, then met my gaze. “Do you want me to stay to make sure she doesn’t run again?”

  “I really don’t think that’s necessary,” I said. “We had a talk and I think she’s fine.”

  He stepped closer. “Are you sure? I mean, you could . . . ” His gaze lifted over my shoulder. He stepped back.

  Sarah slipped in beside me. “I’ll stay if you need.”

  I shook my head. “I need to start doing this on my own. I can’t have someone babysitting me forever. If I want to be the caretaker for Nova and my own son, I need to take care of them myself.”

  I caught Sarah’s elbow and coaxed her toward the door. “I appreciate all you both do for me, I really do, and I’m so grateful for the help you gave me tonight, but now I think you should both go home and get some rest.”

  They stepped outside the threshold, and I shut the door. I leaned against it and huffed. What a day! I moved to shut down the house for the night, when their hushed conversation came from the other side of the door. Remembering their date the night before, I smiled and couldn’t help pausing to listen.

  “What was that?” Sarah hissed.

  “What was what?” the sheriff whispered.

  “You. Do you have a thing for Bray?”

  He scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “You do!” she snarled. “Paul, she’s married! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you a sucker for women you can never have? Do you enjoy being tortured and having your heart broken?”

  “You’re just bitter because I don’t want to date you steadily.”

  She slapped him, by the sound of the muffled thud. “I’m not bitter. You’re just pathetic.”

  “Pathetic?” he snarled. “You’re the one who’s been hung up on me for years, despite how clear I’ve made it that I don’t see you like that.”

  She slapped him again. “Shut up, jerk!”

  “And, the date last night proved everything. We don’t have anything between us. It was awkward and forced the whole time.”