The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  “Do I love you?”

  She nodded.

  “Of course, I do!” I grabbed her hand. “Nova, why do you think I’ve been trying to adopt you?”

  She pointed at my handbag.

  I handed it to her.

  She pulled it open and dug through until she found my phone. She then typed something out and handed it to me.

  I took it and read; Not just because you want me to tell you about Forrest?

  I gasped. “Oh my . . . ” I looked up at her. “No! Oh no, Nova. I want you to get better. I want you to let go of your pain and move on.”

  She nodded and pointed at herself then me.

  “You . . . I don’t . . . ”

  She huffed and snatched my phone back. She typed out a new message and shoved it in my face. I want that for you, too. That’s why I can’t speak.

  I met her gaze.

  She pursed her lips and nodded. Then, she cleared the message, handed me the phone, and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling again.

  “Nova?” I whispered.

  She tilted her head.

  “Promise me you won’t ever hurt yourself again.”

  Her gaze fell to her lap, but slowly, she nodded.

  I kissed her head. “I’m going to find out what’s going on and when I can take you home, okay?”

  She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and nodded.

  The detective stood outside scowling at me. I wondered if she’d been watching.

  “So, what’s going on?” I asked, trying to divert my thoughts.

  “She’ll need to stay in here for a few days,” the detective said. “She’ll be on suicide watch until we feel it’s safe for her to go back.”

  My stomach knotted, but I nodded. “Whatever is best for her.”

  Her eyebrow lifted. “I’ll send a team to check your house tomorrow around nine.”

  “I’ll be ready. Thank you.”

  She turned, walked down the corridor, and disappeared around the corner.

  I rested my forehead against the door. I felt so tired, so worn out from all the grief and sorrow. Maybe it was time to move on and let go. I couldn’t take the strain much longer. I had to accept what was done was done, and live for my future and for the future of Jackson and Nova.

  I sighed and straightened. The time had come for me to get a grip on my reality. Forrest was gone. I still had to live. I had people who needed me. I needed to find ways to bring in extra money. No more hoping and waiting for Forrest to come back and do it for me.

  I made my way to the waiting area. Clint stood with his arm around Megan, while Paul held the boys on his lap.

  I paused, just out of sight, to watch. Donny seemed completely fascinated by his hand, but Jackson was focused on his face. Paul puffed out his cheeks and Jackson slapped them. Jackson burst out laughing and raised his hands again in anticipation. Paul puffed his cheeks out again and wham. Jackson burst out laughing.

  I smiled. I stepped out and Paul’s gaze shot to me.

  He smiled, his whole face lighting up.

  I blushed, my smile growing.

  Megan swung around. “Bray!” She jumped up and rushed over to me. “How is she?”

  “She’s fine. Thank goodness.”

  She touched my cheek. “And you?”

  I nodded. “I’m doing much better.”

  “Good. Let’s go home.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

  We walked back to my car and Clint and Paul followed us. At the car, Clint caught Megan and kissed her.

  Paul glanced at me.

  Flustered, I grabbed Jackson to buckle him in. Paul buckled in Donny.

  “We should get back to the station,” Clint said.

  Paul and I both straightened, and he answered. “Yep. Joseph is hopeless at the best of times.”

  Clint grinned as he let go of Megan. “Phewie! Remember that time the bull escaped from the Fletcher’s ranch?”

  Paul laughed. “That’s one way to catch a bull.”

  I didn’t want to ask, so climbed into the car.

  “You boys.” Megan laughed. “Poor little Joe doesn’t mean to be ignorant. But, it was a good laugh watching him run down Main Street covered in red paint.”

  They all laughed.

  “I’ll take credit for that one,” Clint said.

  “No way. I’m the one who grabbed the bucket and made the suggestion in the first place,” Paul replied.

  “Yeah, but I’m the one crazy enough to actually do it, and shove him out onto the street.”

  Megan sighed. “You boys are awful.” She opened the passenger door and slid in. “Get back to work before something really happens to Joe.”

  “Yes ma’am,” Paul answered, tipping his hat.

  She kicked out at him. “Don’t call me ma’am, Davis!”

  He laughed.

  She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Let’s go, Bray.”

  Chapter 18

  Nova stepped out of the sheriff’s car and smiled up at me.

  I rushed down and threw my arms around her. “Welcome home.”

  She wrapped her arms tightly around me.

  Mom hurried out and kissed her cheek. “Welcome back, sweetheart. We waited for you.”

  She looked up at Mom with confusion in her eyes.

  “Jackson’s birthday party,” I said.

  Her eyes flashed between us as her jaw fell.

  Mom laughed. “We couldn’t do it without you. We’re having it this afternoon.”

  Nova threw her arms around me again, squeezing me tightly before she rushed inside.

  Mom and I watched her go. Mom touched my shoulder. “That’s a very different girl to the one I left behind.”

  I smiled. “It’s such a relief. I was so frightened when I found her.”

  Mom wrapped her arm around my waist. “You’re different, too.”

  My cheeks warmed as I contemplated what she said. “I think I’m ready to move on with life. It’s coming up on a year and I realized I don’t need to feel lonely anymore. I have really good friends here.”

  The trunk of the sheriff’s car closed. Paul lifted out the last of the security gear.

  “Oh, I’d love a good friend that looks like that,” Mom said under her breath.

  I elbowed her in the ribs.

  She chuckled. “I’m teasing.”

  She squeezed my waist and we hurried inside.

  Nova held Jackson on her lap as she sat on the couch, kissing the back of his head over and over. He didn’t seem remotely fazed by it as he turned his singing toy dog around and around.

  “Nova,” I said gently. “Do you want to help us set up?”

  She nodded eagerly, and set Jackson down to play.

  She helped me bake cupcakes, hang decorations, and helped Mom set up the table outside.

  I hadn’t seen her so upbeat since before she went in for questioning. It made everything seem brighter, and easier to handle.

  When the first guests arrived, Mom and Dad greeted them cheerfully, and a pleasant feeling filled the air. When Megan and Clint arrived, Donny crawled full speed to Jackson, which delighted him to no end.

  “I think we have best-friends-for-life right there,” Megan said with a laugh. “Kind of like his Dad, huh Clint?” She elbowed Clint in the ribs.

  He grinned. “Well Paul and I didn’t meet until we were a little older.”

  “Three years old isn’t that much older.”

  They walked away chatting excitedly together.

  “Bray?”

  I turned and smiled at Sarah as she slipped through the gate carrying a large box. I rushed over to help her. “You didn’t need
to get something this big.”

  “Every little boy needs his own truck to drive around.”

  I laughed. “Oh, Sarah.”

  We set the box with the rest of the gifts and paused to watch the small crowd who’d gathered.

  “It’s a good turnout for a Tuesday,” she said.

  I sighed. “All the important people are here. His Grandma and Grandpa, his best friend, Nova. What more could I ask for?” Apart from Forrest. But, I refused to think like that.

  “So . . . ” She shuffled and kicked at the paver. “A while ago I asked if you wanted to go dancing with us one Friday night. I know you’ve been busy so I haven’t asked again, but I was wondering if you wanted to come next time?”

  I looked her in the eyes. “When are you going next?”

  She smiled. “Two Fridays from now.”

  My face fell. “The court proceedings start that day. I don’t know if—”

  “I understand.”

  I sighed. “I want to go, I do, but—”

  “I know.” She touched my shoulder. “There’s always next time.”

  I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.”

  She smiled. “You’re my best friend. I know you’ll come with me eventually, and until you’re ready, I’ll be here for you.”

  Guilt. So much guilt. I squeezed her hand again, smiling despite the sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of Paul.

  Mom rushed up the stairs and handed me the camera. “Come on, you need to document his first birthday!” And, with a sharp tug, she pulled me down the stairs into the middle of the yard.

  Dad brought the first bunch of presents down for Jackson and helped him open them while I took photos. While he opened a box of dinosaurs, Megan stepped up beside me. “Donny’s stealing them when he sets them aside.”

  I laughed and shifted the camera to get Donny stealing the toys in the shot.

  “Have you seen Paul yet?”

  I shook my head, trying to remain indifferent. “I thought he was working.”

  “He said he’d swing by to give Jackson his present.”

  Mom glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.

  I frowned at her, but answered Megan. “He doesn’t need to do that.”

  She sighed, shaking her head. “Oh, Bray.”

  Sarah appeared carrying her box and set it down for Jackson. She hurried back beside me with a huge grin. “I hope he likes it.”

  “Of course, he will. He’s a little boy,” I said.

  He ripped off the paper and Dad opened the box for him. Dad laughed and lifted the truck out. Jackson’s face lit up as Dad placed him inside.

  Sarah giggled as Jackson examined the truck, trying to figure out how it worked.

  Nova moved forward and sat beside him on the ground. She pulled out a toddler sized pair of moccasins.

  I couldn’t help laughing.

  She smiled at me, before slipping them on his feet.

  Then, the siren blared on the street. Megan elbowed me. “There he is!”

  Everyone rushed toward the gate, so I plucked up Jackson and set him on my hip to follow. As I stepped through, Paul leaned against the side of his sheriff car, dressed completely in his sheriff uniform, including aviators. I almost dropped Jackson he looked so incredible.

  He pushed off and walked toward me.

  My legs quivered under me as he approached. What is wrong with me?

  He tipped his hat and reached for Jackson. “Deputy Jackson.”

  I handed him over and Paul pinned a little sheriff badge on his shirt. “All right, Deputy, let’s give you your uniform and take the siren for a spin.”

  He took him to the car and dressed him in a little cowboy hat, a plaid shirt, boots, and to top it all off, chaps. I rolled my eyes, but Jackson’s whole face lit up at his costume.

  “All right, little man, you want to turn on that siren?”

  Jackson stared up at him in awe.

  I chuckled.

  Sarah’s hand wrapped around my elbow.

  Paul climbed into the car and set Jackson on his lap. A moment later, the siren blared. It rang out for a few moments, and when it cut off, I could hear Jackson busting a gut with laughter.

  “He’s good with Jackson,” Megan said from behind me.

  “Jackson is an easy kid to get along with,” Sarah responded shortly.

  I rolled my eyes and walked away from them to the car. I bent over just as Jackson hit the siren again. I held my ears until Paul flicked it off with a grin.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  “What for? Jackson is loving this.” I sank onto the passenger seat. “Megan and Sarah are arguing again.”

  “Oh.” He looked down at Jackson as he reached over and hit the siren again. Paul leaned over and yelled, “I have one last thing for him in the back if you wanna get it out.”

  “I’ll wait until it’s not quite so hazardous to my ear drums.”

  He chuckled and turned off the siren. “Jackson, I have something else for you.”

  We climbed out of the car and he opened the trunk. Jackson gasped, and I groaned. He pulled out a rocking horse and two toy guns. He set Jackson on the rocking horse, handed him the toy shotgun, and strapped the holster with the toy pistol around his waist. “Now, there’s a real sheriff right there.”

  I shook my head, but couldn’t help smiling at Jackson’s excitement.

  Mom called for us all to head into the backyard again for the birthday cupcakes. Paul lifted Jackson, still on the rocking horse, and shot him down the driveway, Jackson squealing with delight.

  I turned and met eyes with Nova and she smiled at me. I walked over and wrapped my arm around her shoulders as we walked through the gate.

  Paul whipped Jackson off the horse and set him in the chair Mom brought out for him.

  I hurried over and handed her the camera before pulling off Jackson’s shirt. We all sang happy birthday and he blew out the candle.

  I smiled as he dug into his cupcake, but felt a twinge of pain. When everyone started mingling again, I walked inside. I found my wedding picture in the front room and stared at it. I brushed my fingers over Forrest’s face as a tear fell. “I wish you were here.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Megan dried the dishes while I cleaned. Nova sat on the ground behind us with Jackson and Donny.

  “Well, I think that was rather successful,” Megan said on a sigh. “He got some nice presents.”

  I smiled. “He really did.”

  “And, he got to turn on the siren.”

  I laughed. “He loved that.”

  “Paul is so good with him.” She smiled and shook her head. “Paul would make a great father someday.”

  I huffed. “Please don’t start.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  I scowled at her, and out of the corner of my eye, saw Nova glaring at the back of her head.

  Megan shrugged, but kept smiling. “Did you know Sarah has a date this weekend?”

  I froze. “No. Really?”

  She nodded. “Some guy from some town closer to the city. He’s driving two hours to meet her in Bearville.”

  “How do you know this when she so obviously can’t stand you?”

  She snorted. “She told Paul, who told Clint, who—”

  “Told you,” I said. “I’d like to see her find someone to make her happy, because it’s obvious Paul isn’t interested in her. I hate seeing her torture herself so much.”

  “And, if she moves on, it will give you the green light for Paul.”

  Nova growled and shot to her feet. She pointed at Megan and waved her finger in her face, before she shoved between us and snatched the towel from Megan.

 
“Bray?” Megan glanced at me, confused.

  “She’s saying you’re wrong, she doesn’t like what you’re trying to do, and you should leave me alone,” I answered.

  Nova gave a nod.

  “You got all of that, from that?”

  I shrugged. “I’m getting used to it.”

  That weekend, a very attractive man rushed into town hall holding a bouquet of flowers. I paused my stroll down the street and changed course. I rushed up and peeked through the window.

  Sarah held the flowers as he talked to her. She smiled and blushed as he took her hand. I bit my lip to hold back a shriek of delight.

  “What are you looking at?”

  I jumped and smacked heads with Paul. I turned, rubbing the back of my head as he rubbed his forehead. “Sorry.”

  He leaned over and looked in the window. “Oh, she has a date.”

  “Does it make you jealous?” I can’t believe I said that!

  He smirked. “No. Relieved. Hopefully she’s finally going to move on.” He turned and looked me over, his smirk changing.

  I swung away. “We better go before she catches us spying.”

  He followed. “Where are we going?”

  “It looks like you’re working.” I gestured at his uniform, resenting how smoking hot he looked in it.

  “Perfect reason to walk you to wherever you’re going.”

  I sighed. “Whatever.”

  “Hey.” He scowled and grabbed my shoulder. “Don’t give me that. You made it perfectly clear you weren’t into the idea of a relationship, so I’m not asking for that. I’m just trying to help.”

  I rubbed my eyes. “Fine. I’m sorry. It’s just . . . with the court case coming up, I’m feeling a bit stressed.”

  “Understandable.”

  I huffed and nodded to the small play area further down the street. “I’m taking Jackson there to play.”

  We made our way down the street. His hand rested on the small of my back. I glanced at him. So much for not asking for a relationship. Just as I was about to push him off, Sarah and her date burst out of Town Hall.