The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  “Mrs. Miller,” the prosecutor continued. “You and your husband are and were good people. You sought out a peaceful life, but it was violently torn away from you, and now your son will grow up and never know his father . . . ”

  I gasped as tears streamed down my face.

  “Surely, you want the person who did this brought to justice, right?”

  I nodded, unable to speak, even though I wanted to say, But it’s not Nova.

  The prosecutor thanked me, and sat down for the defense to cross examine. The defense attorney was a silver haired man, probably in his fifties. Paul found him and brought him in because of his fierce reputation. I hoped he wouldn’t be too hard on me since I’d been so accommodating.

  He stepped in front of me and gazed into my eyes. “Braydon, isn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  “You took Miss Garcia in right away, didn’t you?”

  I nodded again.

  He straightened, standing taller. “Is it true that you have same sex attraction?”

  My eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

  “Answer the question.”

  “No.”

  He turned away and picked up a folder from his desk. “Upon interviewing several of your college friends, we found you had an intimate relationship with your freshman year female roommate.”

  I winced. “That wasn’t what it looks like.”

  “Wasn’t it? We have three different men stating that she brought them in to participate in your sexual encounters.”

  “It wasn’t—”

  “Did you, or did you not have sexual relations with your roommate?”

  I hung my head. “Yes.”

  A murmuring erupted. I didn’t dare look up. Mom hadn’t even known about that.

  “So, this raises the question: Why did you bring a pretty young girl into your home?”

  I gasped and looked up at him. “No! I’d never do that, especially with a fourteen-year-old!”

  “Objection!” the prosecution yelled.

  The murmuring grew louder as the judge banged his gavel. I couldn’t look up. I couldn’t believe he’d found that out. I couldn’t believe he’d say I could do that to Nova.

  “Objection overruled.”

  My heart hit my stomach. My wild days had come back to haunt me.

  Finally, the court was brought back to order, and the defense attorney turned to me. “Since no one doubts Mr. Miller’s integrity, maybe it wasn’t him who had the affair.”

  I winced as the prosecutor leaped up, objecting again.

  But, the defense attorney continued in a raised voice. “Maybe Mrs. Miller was found with Miss Garcia, so she killed him and dumped him while Miss Garcia fled—”

  “No!” I said, my voice tight and high pitched from the agony he inflicted on me.

  “Then, once she hid his body, she called for help to make herself look innocent and now she holds Miss Garcia hostage, forcing her silence.”

  Chaos filled the room. No one had seen that one coming. Especially me. I glanced over at Nova whose jaw was hanging. I then felt brave enough to look at Mom. She had her hand over her mouth, and her eyes were wide with shock.

  Megan’s jaw hung as she stared at me, and finally, I looked at Paul. His eyes were dark, his jaw clenched. There was so much rage in him.

  The judge, having lost control of the courtroom and fed up with the noise, called a recess and brought the two lawyers into his chambers.

  I was led out, but watched as Paul hurried to leave the room.

  Mom caught me and gazed into my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It wasn’t anything . . . ” I stared after Paul. I needed to talk to him.

  Megan grabbed me and swung me around. “You’re bi?”

  “No. I was only eighteen and impressionable. She took advantage of my naivety.”

  I glanced at the door to see Paul had gone. “I need to . . . ”

  Megan pushed me. “You better hurry.”

  I rushed out the door, scanning the foyer. His head disappeared around a corner. I dashed after him and found myself face to face with the men’s room. I danced around by the door, arguing with myself whether I should enter or not. If I didn’t, he may stay in there and avoid me until everyone cleared out and he knew I was gone. I burst in.

  “Whoa!” I covered my eyes as I saw two men at urinals. “Paul?”

  No answer.

  The two men hurried to finish and leave.

  “Paul?” I bent over and looked under the closed stall doors. No feet. “I saw you come in here.”

  Two feet appeared. “Get out, Braydon. This is a men’s room.”

  “I need to explain—”

  The door burst open and he rushed at me, his eyes on fire. “Explain what? That you are just like every other slutty city girl?”

  I winced as I backed into the wall. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “What was it like then? You got bored on Friday nights so you fooled around?”

  “I told her I was a virgin!” I yelled. “I’d never had anyone be attracted to me before, so I didn’t know about dating, or relationships, or even what I should or shouldn’t do. So, she hooked me up with a footballer to lose my virginity.

  “But then, she took it further, and slowly convinced me to join in with her and her boyfriend, then she turned it into just her and me, sometimes with a guy in for some extra excitement. I didn’t realize what was happening until I was drowning in it.

  “When I returned after summer, I cut her off completely. She was furious and said she loved me, but I knew by then I didn’t have that in me. I knew I liked men, and I realized she’d exploited my innocence. I’d never do that to someone else. Please, Paul, I wouldn’t do that.”

  “But, you did,” he said. “Did Forrest know?”

  “Yes.” I grabbed his arms. “Yes, of course.”

  He shoved me away. “I don’t know what to think about you anymore. Can I really believe you, or is this some lie to keep stringing me along?”

  “It’s not a lie.” I gazed into his eyes. “I swear to you, I’m not lying, and I’d never, ever touch Nova like that.”

  He pursed his lips. “How about Sarah then?”

  I pulled back. “What?”

  “Is that why she’s so enamored with you? Is that why she can’t stand us being together?”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m straight, Paul. She doesn’t want us together because she loves you, and you know that.”

  He turned away from me, grabbing his hair. “You really are just like Hannah.”

  I gasped. He’d stabbed me right through the heart with his words.

  He hurried out the door.

  I slapped my forehead, agonizing over the regret I felt for those few months. How could they have come back to haunt me like this? And, Nova, could she really believe I’d do that to her? What if someone said something about her sneaking in and sleeping in my bed with me? What kind of questions would that raise now?

  The car ride home was deathly silent. I knew everyone kept glancing at me, and I was glad I wasn’t driving so I could stare out the window and ignore them.

  Nova hadn’t been allowed to leave with me, so Paul would bring her when they believed I wasn’t sexually abusing her. I couldn’t believe that was even a question. The very thought horrified me.

  Megan cleared her throat from her position between the two car seats. “So, Bray, did you talk to Paul?”

  I pressed my head against the window as my lip quivered.

  “He . . . ” She huffed. “It’s a tender spot for him. Hannah, she . . . ”

  I rubbed my eyes, wanting to know, but not daring to ask.

  “She cheated on him with several of h
er model friends. It made him feel like less of a man. I think he thought he wasn’t enough to satisfy her.”

  I had flashes of Paul pinning me against the wall and the passionate desire he passed onto me. How could that not be enough?

  “Bray,” she said softly. “Did you really? Would you . . . again?”

  I sighed. “Yes and no.”

  Mom let out a gasp. “Why didn’t you say anything? I mean, I knew about the footballer, but you didn’t tell me Val . . . ”

  I looked at her. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t understand. She told me it was what everyone does in college and it was okay. But, it never felt right for me. I knew I liked men, but she . . . ”

  I shook my head. “Over that summer I reevaluated my life and realized she made me feel used, so I ditched her.” I growled. “I bet it was Randy who told them. He was one of her boyfriends who liked to—”

  “That’s how you met Randy?” Mom’s voice became high pitched. “You told me it was at a frat party.”

  “It was.” I huffed and ruffled my hair. “Why do you think in my senior year I tried to get new friends and move on? That’s part of the reason why Forrest was such a miracle. My life was so messed up and he was like a guiding light and a protector for me from the people I was trying to shake.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t tell me people were pressuring you and manipulating you. All you ever said was you were partying and having a good time.”

  I folded my arms and stared ahead. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

  “Braydon.” She rested her hand on my leg. “I already worry about you every moment of every day. The least you could do is let me help you.”

  I burst into tears. I covered my mouth to try and hold the loud sobs back, but they were uncontrollable.

  When we arrived at the house, they sat in the car and waited for me to get a hold of myself.

  Finally, Megan grasped my shoulder. “What’s going through your mind right now?”

  I shrugged, sniffing. “How screwed up everything is. Forrest kept all this at bay, and now I have to face it at the expense of Nova and Paul. I love them so much and now I’ve hurt them so badly because I was such a gullible idiot.”

  Mom squeezed my knee. “You’ll get Nova back, don’t worry.”

  “And, leave Paul to me,” Megan said.

  I thought of Sarah and how she said Megan interfered with her and Paul. “No. Leave him alone. He deserves better than to . . . ” I shook my head. “I’m going inside.”

  I hurried into the house, desperate to escape and let my pain consume me.

  Chapter 22

  The sheriff’s car pulled up out the front. I froze and stared out the window holding my breath. Then, Nova stepped out. I collapsed onto my knees and sobbed.

  She’d been gone for a week, being analyzed and evaluated by psychologists for some sign that I sexually abused her. Finally, they came up with yes, someone had sexually abused her, but it wasn’t me or Forrest. It did give the trial a new angle and sent everyone into a frenzy. If Forrest or I didn’t hurt her, then who did?

  She trudged into the house and stared at me on the floor. She dumped her bag and rushed over, throwing her arms around me.

  I clung to her, my tears falling onto her shoulder. “Nova, I’d never do that to you.”

  She nodded.

  “Are you all right? Did they treat you well?”

  She nodded again.

  “I want you to know that what I did was out of naivety. I love Forrest and always have.”

  She nodded again as she softly cried.

  I pulled back and clasped her face. “Everything will be okay. Maybe this is for the best. No secrets.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I missed you.”

  She sobbed and rested her head against my shoulder.

  Paul and Clint walked in with stern expressions. I looked at them both and Clint said, “We need to talk to you.”

  I nodded and peeled Nova off me. “Jackson is playing in the next room. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”

  She looked up at the men and scowled, but nodded and hurried out to see Jackson.

  I stood and folded my arms. “What is it?”

  Paul avoided looking at me and Clint answered. “Nova can’t sleep in your bed anymore.”

  I nodded, my eyes falling. “I expected that.”

  Clint huffed. “Megan said it was a college whim and you’re over it. Is that true?”

  I nodded again. “Yes.”

  He elbowed Paul. Paul grunted.

  Clint looked at me. “Do you have any idea who could have assaulted Nova?”

  I shrugged. “Unfortunately, I don’t know much about her life before. Maybe a foster parent, or one of the other kids? I wish I could say, but as you know, she never says a word.”

  Clint tipped his hat. “Thank you, Bray.”

  “Paul!” Jackson rushed over and wrapped his arms around Paul’s leg.

  Paul flushed and patted his head. “Hey, Jackie.”

  Jackson reached up for him to hold him.

  Paul shuffled uncomfortably.

  I lifted Jackson away. “He’s working right now, Jackson.”

  Jackson reached for him and whined.

  I looked at Paul who stared at the ground. “He misses you.”

  Paul rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, “I can’t be here.”

  He rushed out the door.

  My heart broke as I watched him pull the door shut behind him.

  Clint sighed. “You should just leave him alone. He doesn’t deserve to relive the pain she gave him through you. So just focus on what you have and let him live his life, okay?”

  I winced. “But . . . ” I bit my lip. I’d pushed him away so much that maybe this was what I deserved.

  “No but’s, Bray. Enough is enough.” He hurried out after Paul.

  Nova leaned against the archway with her arms folded, scowling.

  I sighed. “Don’t worry, I doubt he’s coming back any time soon.”

  She sniffed before hurrying into the kitchen.

  “Can you take your bag upstairs please?”

  She rushed back, and plucked it up.

  ~ ~ ~

  Sarah burst into the house. “Braydon!”

  “I’m up here!” I called from my bedroom.

  She rushed up the stairs and banged on the door. “Are you decent?”

  “Yep.”

  She burst in and immediately her face fell.

  “What?”

  “No.”

  I looked down at my black dress and heels. “What?”

  “No. It’s a bar.”

  “So?”

  “So, you can’t dance in those.”

  “Ahh . . . ” I looked down at myself. “I’ve danced in higher heels and tighter clothes than this.”

  “You’ll look ridiculous.”

  I noticed then what she wore. Jeans, boots, and a plaid shirt. “I’m not dressing like that.”

  She frowned. “Well you can’t go looking like that.”

  She pushed by me to my wardrobe and glanced around. She reached up and pulled a denim mini out and a flowing black top which exposed my shoulders. “I guess this will do. But, what to do about shoes?”

  She dug through my shoes with a scowl. Then she said, “Well, you’re the same size as me.” She tossed the clothes at me. “Get dressed and I’ll be back.”

  I grumbled as I changed, but felt grateful that at least I didn’t have to change my jewelry. When she returned, she tossed a pair of black cowboy boots at me. I turned my nose up, disgusted.

  She snorted. “Trust me, okay? It will look cute and you won’t stand out as a city girl.�
�

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”

  Megan arrived, bursting into the house with Donny on her hip, as I made my way down the stairs. She looked me over and whistled. “My, my. You do pull off the country girl.”

  I groaned. “I’m getting changed.”

  Sarah caught my hand. “Come on, Bray. You look perfect.”

  Nova pushed by and stood on the stair in front of me. She looked me up and down, slowly and thoughtfully, then nodded. She stepped aside and motioned for me to go down the stairs.

  “It seems like she approves.” Megan giggled. “I’m surprised she hasn’t written out a list of rules for you.”

  Nova’s eyes widened. She raised a finger up to me, saying one minute, before she dashed upstairs.

  “Great, you gave her a bright idea,” I said sarcastically.

  Megan chuckled.

  A few minutes later, Nova rushed back down the stairs while Sarah and I waited at the door. She handed me a piece of paper and motioned for me to read.

  I scanned the note, and she clicked her fingers in my face. “What?”

  She motioned for me to talk.

  “Read it out loud?”

  She beamed and nodded.

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Number one: Don’t get drunk.”

  Megan giggled.

  “Number two: Don’t let sleazy guys hit on you, or I should say me.”

  Sarah winked at her. “I’ll keep an eye on that.”

  “Number three: Don’t ride the bull.”

  Both Sarah and Megan burst out laughing.

  “Number four: The most important rule of all. Have fun and find someone nice. I want to see you happy and smiling. I want to see the Braydon I see in all the photos around the house and so does Jackson. Forget about Forrest for one night, and don’t feel guilty about moving on.”

  My gaze lifted to her face as Sarah and Megan fell silent. She smiled gently and nodded. I smiled back, as tears welled in my eyes. “You’re going to ruin my makeup.”