The Widow of Papina

by Katie Hamstead

  She pulled me into the living room and stood over me. “What’s going on with you and Paul?”

  I stared at the fire. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” She threw her hands in the air. “After everything that happened between you, now it’s nothing? What the heck is wrong with you? You said you were in love with him!”

  My gaze shot up to her. “No I—”

  “You practically screamed it at Sarah!” She started pacing. “What happened? Clint came home a few days ago ranting about it being your fault Paul was dragged off to Bearville, then you just left him there. Then, Paul comes around all butt-whipped and sayin’ you’ve pushed him away again.”

  I flushed. “It will never work out—”

  “Oh, yes it will.” She swung around to face me and leaned over to look me directly in the eyes. “I know you love him, so why are you keeping him at a distance?”

  I huffed. “It’s too complicated.”

  “Too complicated?” Her voice rose in pitch. “You were married for several years and you’re sayin’ a relationship is too complicated?”

  “It’s not a normal relationship!” I snarled. “There’s so many others involved, so many other factors I need to consider.”

  “Like what? Nova? This stupid sham of a court case?”

  “Yes!”

  She shook her head. “There’s more than that though, isn’t there?”

  I huffed. “And, there’s Sarah, and Clint made it perfectly clear I needed to stay away—”

  “I’m gonna kill that man.” She waved her finger in my face. “I’m gonna make sure you have no more excuses. I’m gonna march into town and kill my husband, closely followed by Sarah.”

  “Megan—”

  “Then, I’m gonna march upstairs and give that Nova what for!” She strode toward the door. “Watch Donny for me.”

  She slammed the door shut behind her.

  I glanced down at Donny and Jackson playing happily together on the floor. I collapsed back on the couch and flicked on a kids show for them while I shut my eyes.

  I jumped when someone knocked on the door. I hurried over and opened it. “Sarah!”

  She flushed. “I . . . I’m sorry for, well, acting pretty crazy.”

  “Uh . . . ”

  “Honestly, I miss talking to you. I was stupid to let a guy get between us. Please forgive me?”

  I sighed, slumping. This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? An uncomplicated life? “Of course, Sarah. Did you want to come in?”

  She shook her head. “I just walked over during my lunch break. I should get back.” She turned and looked around. “Did Nova do all this?”

  “I honestly have no idea who did it.”

  She glanced back at me with a raised eyebrow. “Well, you’re very lucky. Whoever did it, even salted the driveway so ice wouldn’t form. We don’t want you slipping and breaking your pretty nose, do we?”

  She turned and left. A knot formed in my stomach as I realized she’d only come back because she heard I’d broken it off with Paul. She must have believed Paul cleared my path and driveway, thus the snide remark. I’d need to tread on eggshells around her. I wondered if it was even worth it if she could turn so easily.

  I closed the door and stared at my wedding picture. “Forrest, I wish you could help me.”

  An hour later Megan returned, but I heard her coming before she entered the house. “Clint, you sort out your screwed-up way of thinkin’ or you won’t be seein’ us for a while!”

  I couldn’t help smiling at how redneck her accent became when she got mad.

  “Megan, this is insane!” Clint’s voice belted the word, insane.

  “You’re insane! I can’t believe you’d say that to Bray! Are you trying to keep your best friend single for the rest of his life?”

  “Megan—”

  “Because, you are, you know.” My front door burst open. “You fix what you’ve done by apologizin’ to Bray and we’ll come home.”

  “Megan, come on!”

  “You’re such an ass, Clinton Clark.”

  She turned and saw me sitting on the couch. “Hi Bray, sweetheart.” She gave me a sweet smile before turning vicious on Clint again. “Now’s your chance!”

  Clint stepped through the door with a deep scowl and his shoulders slumped. He glanced across at me and huffed. “Megan, this is so stupid.”

  “Do it.”

  He mumbled something and she slapped him hard across the rump. “Ouch! Geez Megan! Fine.”

  He marched over and stood over me, his arms folded. “I may have been wrong about you.”

  “May have been?” Megan said in a high-pitched voice.

  “Fine I was wrong about you.” He huffed. “Paul has been miserable for days, so could you just talk to him or something?”

  I blinked, thrown off guard.

  Donny grabbed his pants. “Daddy.”

  Clint picked him up. “I don’t . . . argh . . . ” He rubbed his hair. “It’s ‘cause you look like her, okay? It didn’t bother me when you were married to Forrest, but now that Paul’s interested I get so . . . so frustrated. And, you’ve been so up and down I just don’t . . . ”

  His jaw muscles twitched. “I know, I need to be more understanding, Megan tells me that all the time and . . . ” He clenched his teeth and muttered something.

  “What was that?” Megan snapped.

  “I said, I’m sorry!” he yelled, more at her than me.

  She nodded. “That’s better.”

  Nova appeared beside Megan and glanced around at everyone, confused.

  “Finally, you emerge.” I stood and pointed to the front yard. “You were supposed to do something.”

  She glanced out, saw her chore done, and shrugged.

  I frowned. “Nova.”

  Clint drummed his fingers on his hip. “That must have been why Paul was late this morning.”

  Nova gasped and ran outside. She climbed on top of a mound and started kicking it down onto the path.

  Clint rushed out and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her over his shoulder. “What are you doing, you crazy kid?”

  She screamed and kneed him hard in the chest.

  He dropped her and bent over, winded.

  “Clint!” Megan ran to him while I rushed over to Nova who kicked at the snow again.

  “Nova!”

  I heard her ankle cuff beep.

  “Nova!” I cried, frightened.

  She didn’t seem to notice and took an extra step. It beeped again.

  “Nova! Come back—”

  The third beep rang in my ears.

  “Nova!”

  She lifted her foot to take another step, when suddenly she was on the ground. I jumped back as Paul pushed off from on top of her. “Almost crossed the line there. You should pay more attention.”

  She slapped him across the face and ran to stand in front of me.

  He ignored her and glanced at each of us. “The neighbors called. Said there was some yelling.”

  Clint glared at Megan who blushed and shrugged.

  Paul huffed and glanced at me. “All right, everyone seems fine. Just keep the noise down. Oh, and the boys are sinking into the snow.”

  We all spun and saw Donny and Jackson waist deep in the snow by the porch. We all rushed over to pull them out, but when I turned to look, Paul had gone.

  Chapter 28

  The detective had just swept my house again. Still nothing. I didn’t know why they thought something new would show up, but with the court on hold while people tried to figure out who hurt Nova, they’d grown desperate. I sat by the table with my head resting on my arms. Nova stroked my hair while Jackson ate.

  “
When’s it going to end?” I asked.

  She sighed.

  I took a deep breath and sat up, looking at the clock. “Jackson needs to go to bed. Do you want to bathe him tonight?”

  She shook her head and picked up her laptop.

  “School work?”

  She nodded.

  “All right. Well, I’m going to put him down and go to bed, okay?”

  She nodded. As she stood, she bent down and kissed my forehead.

  “Good night, Nova.”

  I watched her climb up the stairs, then turned my attention to Jackson to watch him finish eating. My eyes felt heavy and slowly closed, but I jolted back awake when Jackson yelled, “Mommy!”

  “Are you done?”

  He grinned.

  “Okay, let’s get you in the bath.”

  An hour later, he’d fallen asleep and I retreated to my room. I headed into the bathroom, my whole body aching. All I wanted was a shower and bed. I stripped down and turned on the shower. I then realized I’d left my towel over the end of my bed and hurried out.

  A sound made me freeze. I paused to listen. Tap, tap. I turned and looked at the window. Tap, tap.

  I grabbed my tank top and pajama pants, pulled them on, then walked over and pulled the curtain back.

  Paul paused mid throw, and dropped his arm.

  I pulled the window open and hissed in a low voice, “What are you doing?”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “And, the front door doesn’t suffice?”

  “I wanted to be discreet.”

  “Good heavens. If you can get up.”

  He disappeared, then the top of a ladder rested against the patio roof in front of me. His head appeared, with a wide grin from ear to ear.

  “You’re pretty proud of yourself right now, aren’t you?” I said.

  He tiptoed across to my window. “Yeah, it’s romantic.”

  I snorted.

  His grin widened. “Let me in?”

  “You said you wanted to talk. So, talk.”

  “It’s cold out here.”

  I grunted and stepped back to let him in.

  He climbed through and looked around. “You know, I’ve never actually really been in here, aside from those few moments when the house was searched and fixing the shower head.”

  I shuffled, embarrassed that he stood in my room alone with me while I only wore a skimpy tank and thin pajama pants. “What do you want, Paul?”

  His gaze shot to me as he pulled the window shut. He stared at me with a fire in his eyes that made my belly fill with butterflies. “You.”

  “Paul.” I turned away from him, heading into the bathroom. “I’ve told you, it’s just impossible.”

  He followed me, and as I leaned over the sink, grabbing my makeup remover, he stood behind me, grasping my upper arms. “No, it’s not.”

  I wiped at my eyes. “Please, just go. I thought you had something important to say.”

  “This is very important.” He grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. “Megan told me that you said you love me.”

  I gasped, my heart fluttering. “No, I didn’t.”

  He raised an eyebrow. His hand slid down my arm, making me shudder.

  I pushed him. “Stop it.”

  Pain filled his eyes. “I wanna be with you, Bray, but all you do is push me away. We seem to get somewhere, and then you freak out.”

  “There’s too many other people involved. It’s too complicated. I have to think of Jackson first and his needs, and Nova, she needs me now more than ever, and if I’m with you she won’t . . . ” I pushed by to the shower. “Could you leave now?”

  He grabbed me around the waist, pulling me into his arms. “No more excuses, Bray.”

  I shoved his chest. “They aren’t excuses! They are valid reasons. Forrest’s case isn’t closed yet, Nova needs me, and Sarah, my relationship with her is strained right now, and if I were to—”

  He kissed me.

  I melted into his arms. My whole body tingled, and I moaned when he touched my cheek.

  He broke away, staring into my eyes. “You want this as much as me. Your kiss doesn’t lie.”

  I broke eye contact. “Paul, I don’t—”

  He kissed me again.

  When he pulled away I felt breathless and giddy.

  “Braydon, I’m crazy, head-over-heals, madly in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you and see you smile every day. Why should anyone get in the way of that? What gives anyone the right to say we can’t be together? Who says we shouldn’t be happy and in love? Stop fighting it, Bray, and let me be with you. Let me take care of you like you deserve. You have struggled on your own long enough, don’t you think? You’ve proved you’re a woman of steel, but you don’t need to keep living this lonely life.”

  I stared into his incredible blue eyes. My heart raced as it filled with my love for him. But, I couldn’t love him. A lump of pain swelled and caught in my throat. Tears ran down my face. “Paul, I . . . .”

  His fingers brushed my tears away.

  I ached for him, and without realizing I clung to his shirt, pulling him closer. A strangled sound came from my throat as my heart and head battled for supremacy.

  He caressed my cheek and rested his hand on my neck. He leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “Stop fighting it.”

  I sobbed and buried my face into his shoulder. He held onto me as the words I fought to keep from him tumbled out. “Oh Paul, I love you so much. Why does it have to be so hard? Why do I feel like loving you is betraying everyone else?”

  He pulled back and clasped my face. “You’re not. Forrest would want you to be happy. He wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life. You know that.”

  I nodded, without breaking eye contact.

  “And, everyone else will learn to accept this.”

  “I just . . . ” I sighed, dropping my gaze. “I never thought I could ever love someone else.”

  “Neither did I.”

  I looked up into his eyes and suddenly his pain seemed so much worse than mine. Although Forrest died, I always knew he loved me. But, Paul, he had to live with a scolding from the woman he’d loved. He never knew what it felt like to have his love reciprocated. Until me.

  I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss. When our lips met, a bolt of electricity shot through me.

  He caressed my face and held me against him.

  It felt like everything in the whole world had become right again. My heart pounded. My tears fell. I couldn’t keep pushing him away. I couldn’t lose him, not after losing my first love. If I lost him too, my heart would never mend from a double heartbreak.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him so tight. I never wanted to let him go.

  He pushed me up against the wall, his kiss growing firmer, more intense. His hands wandered over my body, making me quiver.

  I broke free from his lips and said breathlessly, “Paul, I love you.”

  He smiled. “It’s so good to finally hear you say that.”

  He bent over and nibbled my neck.

  I gasped, and rubbed against him. I wanted him so badly. Every inch of me tingled as he necked me. I pushed him back.

  He looked down at me, confused, but I grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom. I dropped his hand, and, with my back still to him, pulled off my shirt.

  He moaned and wrapped his arms around me, nibbling at my shoulder. He grabbed my breasts, touching me in ways I’d missed, and ached for him to do for so long.

  I peeled his hands back and turned to face him. He took in my body as he let out a long breath. I pressed against him and whipped off his
stupid hat. I grinned at the far more attractive man underneath it.

  He ran one hand down my shoulder and waist as the other caressed my face. “Braydon, this . . . this is something I—”

  I covered his mouth. “I know.” My hand slid down and I pushed off his jacket. I ran my hand over his shoulder. “I still don’t like these stupid shirts.”

  He chuckled and kissed me. He worked at unbuttoning his shirt as I moved us backward toward the bed. When my legs hit it, I pulled back and looked up at him. He had his shirt off in a flash, and my hormones raged at his incredible, muscular body.

  I sank onto the bed, and as I slid back, I removed my pants.

  He stared down at me, taking in every inch of me, before he kicked off his shoes and climbed on top on me. He kissed me again as he explored my body. I threw my head back and moaned as he played with me, fondling me, teasing me. “Paul . . . ”

  “Mmm?”

  “Please, Paul.”

  “Say it again.”

  “I love you.”

  He sighed, contentedly, as he leaned back and undid his pants. It all happened so quickly. I gasped, and looked down to see he hadn’t even bothered taking his pants off all the way.

  He thrust into me as he bent over and kissed my collarbone. Then, he grabbed my arms and pinned me down.

  His aggression and dominance aroused me, and for a brief moment I wondered what his ex was thinking if she thought he wasn’t enough. He was so strong, passionate, and intense, and most importantly, he was completely focused on me. That was the best part. I felt how much he loved me by the way he looked at me, the way he watched my every reaction and smiled when I responded well.

  I felt it. My climax building. I moaned and pushed against him, yearning for it, my whole body craving it. Then, it hit. I let out a squeal of delight and he covered my mouth.

  “Shh.”

  He thrust into me again, my whole body writhing as he held me down.

  BANG.

  I screamed as the door flew open and grabbed for the blankets.

  Nova screamed in her tribe’s language as she pointed a gun at Paul.