Night on Terror Island

by Philip Caveney

  ‘This has to be it,’ he said. He opened the door and shone the torch inside.

  ‘Let me get this straight,’ growled Captain Holder. He was sitting on the platform now, his head in his hands. ‘You’re saying I’m just a character in a movie?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Mr Lazarus. ‘That is correct. Oh, in another life you are the famous movie actor, Clint Westwood. But in this life you are, forgive me for saying this, just a work of fiction.’

  ‘But that’s ridiculous,’ snarled Captain Holder. ‘I’m a ship’s captain. I’ve worked on boats since I was a teenager.’

  ‘No, that’s just the part you’re playing,’ said Mr Lazarus. He thought for a moment. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘let’s just try something.’ He walked across the projection room and rummaged around on a workbench. Eventually he found a length of rope. He came back and handed it to Captain Holder. ‘Now, if you really have spent your life on the ocean, you’ll be able to do a running bowline for me.’

  ‘A running what?’

  ‘A bowline. It’s just about the most-used knot on any ship you care to mention. Any sailor worth his salt will know how to tie one.’

  ‘Oh, OK.’ Captain Holder took the rope in his hands and stared at it for several moments. He actually started to try and tie a knot but after a few moments, he shook his head. ‘Nope,’ he said. ‘Haven’t a clue.’

  ‘All right then. How about a rolling hitch? Or a sheet bend?’

  Captain Holder stared at him.

  ‘Sounds like you’re talking a foreign language,’ he admitted.

  ‘Well, I ask you. How likely is that? I know how to do those knots because I used to work at a cinema in Venice and all my equipment had to be carried to and from it by boat. But you, supposedly a captain for many years, can’t even come close to doing it. And yet,’ he pointed to the projector, ‘What can you tell me about that?’

  Captain Holder smiled. ‘Say, that’s an old Westar, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘Haven’t seen one of those babies in a very long time. Must date from the—’ He paused, looked surprised. ‘Now, how in the hell would I know that?’ he muttered.

  ‘Because you … or rather, your other self … has spent a lifetime working in the movies. Projection equipment is something you would be very familiar with.’

  Captain Holder frowned.

  ‘I guess that does make some kind of sense,’ he agreed. ‘That spooky little girl who turned up on the boat, she kept saying, over and over, that we were in some kind of movie. But it sure felt real.’ He shrugged, shook his head. ‘Anyway, Mr Lassoo, or whatever your name is, I guess I should thank you for pulling me out of there. It was getting pretty hairy, to tell you the truth. Now if you’ll just show me the way out of this place, I’ll get out of your way.’

  Mr Lazarus was horrified.

  ‘Oh, no, no, you can’t stay here! You don’t belong in this world. Forgive me, I don’t mean to sound rude, but you must go back into the film.’

  ‘Are you kidding me? Go back into that hellhole? Call me old-fashioned, but that’s not my idea of a good time.’

  ‘I appreciate that but think for a moment! We know you’re not really a captain, but in the movie you are, and a captain always takes responsibility for everyone in his care, right?’

  Captain Holder frowned. ‘I guess,’ he said, but he didn’t sound convinced.

  ‘Well then, the remaining members of your crew are depending on you to get them out of trouble.’

  ‘What do you mean the remaining members. Are you saying …?’

  ‘Since you’ve been gone, several of them have …’ – Mr Lazarus searched for the right way to say it – ‘… expired.’

  Captain Holder looked shocked.

  ‘I’ve only been gone a few minutes,’ he protested.

  ‘I know. And that’s exactly the problem. They didn’t have your guiding hand to steer them out of trouble.’

  ‘What happened to them?’

  Mr Lazarus frowned.

  ‘Well, it’s been rather difficult to follow,’ said Mr Lazarus. ‘What’s the young man called? Todd?’

  ‘Tad.’

  ‘Yes. He’s been swallowed by a giant snake.’

  Captain Holder stared at him. ‘Are you kidding me?’

  ‘I would never joke about such things. And the younger woman … Jade? I believe she was just eaten by Neanderthals.’

  ‘By what?’

  ‘Cavemen. Cannibalistic cavemen. There’s only Doctor Flyte and Rose left and they are depending on you to come back and save them.’

  ‘I see.’ Captain Holder still didn’t seem entirely convinced. ‘That’s all very well but, like I said, it’s hairy in there. I could die.’

  ‘Oh, that’s not going to happen!’ Mr Lazarus gave a dismissive laugh. ‘This movie is a big hit. They’re talking sequels. They’re talking a three-movie deal. Naturally they’ll want you back for part two.’ Mr Lazarus was making it up as he went along, but he could see that he had Captain Holder’s interest.

  ‘Hmm. What’s the second movie about?’

  ‘The scriptwriters are still working on the storyline … but I believe in that one you have the lead role. In fact, they are building the entire picture around you.’

  ‘Really?’ Captain Holder looked more interested now. He seemed to consider for a moment. ‘And you said that Doctor Flyte hasn’t been harmed?’

  ‘Not yet,’ admitted Mr Lazarus. ‘But she’s in a very … what did you call it? A very hairy situation.’ He looked at Captain Holder slyly. ‘I think you like Doctor Flyte, don’t you?’ he said.

  ‘She’s OK,’ admitted Captain Holder. ‘For a dame.’

  ‘Hmm. And what if I told you that she’s very attracted to you?’

  ‘Me? Hell, no. If she is, she’s pretty good at keeping it hidden.’

  ‘Oh, that’s just her way. But I overheard her talking to Jade. This was before she was killed by the Neanderthals …’

  ‘Obviously.’

  ‘She was telling Jade how much she admired you … your strength, your courage, your … rugged good looks.’

  ‘She said that?’ Captain Holder smiled. ‘Hey, how about that?’ He seemed to consider for a moment. ‘I guess you’re right,’ he said. ‘A good captain never deserts his crew, huh?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Mr Lazarus and he gave a smart salute. ‘Good to have you back on board, Captain!’

  ‘OK, so I’m convinced. How do I get back in there?’

  ‘No, wait just a minute. A couple of things. First, that torch you’re carrying? Hang onto it very tightly when I send you back. The Neanderthals spend most of their time in darkness. If you shine that into their faces I believe it will dazzle them.’

  ‘This?’ Captain Holder stared at it. ‘It’s just an ordinary torch.’

  ‘Even so. Trust me. And the thing you have in your other hand? Don’t press the button again, whatever you do. Close the metal cover. Yes, that’s the way! I want you to give the device to a boy called Kip.’

  ‘Who the hell is Kip?’

  ‘He’s a friend of mine. I sent him into the film to bring back his little sister. The weird girl you mentioned?’

  ‘And how the hell did she get in there?’

  ‘Too long a story, I’m afraid. And we’re too near the end of the film to waste any more time. You’d better prepare yourself.’

  ‘OK.’ Captain Holder climbed back onto the platform. ‘I’m ready,’ he said.

  ‘Excellent. Oh and, Captain Holder?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Please try not to say “hell” so much. It’s not very polite.’

  ‘OK, pal, whatever you say.’ Captain Holder adopted a macho pose. ‘Let’s get this show on the road,’ he yelled. ‘GERONIMO!’

  And with that, Mr Lazarus kicked the platform back into the light.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  ROSE AND TAMARA raced full pelt up the gloomy staircase, pursued by several hungry Neanderthals. They reached the third-floor landing and
stood there for a moment, glancing hopelessly around. Rose noticed another short flight of stairs and a stencilled sign that read, TO THE ROOF.

  ‘Come on!’ she screamed and pulled Tamara after her.

  ‘But we’ll be trapped up there,’ gasped Tamara.

  Rose glanced desperately back the way they had come. A group of shambling, ragged figures were bounding up the stairs after them and there was simply no other place to go. They made it to the short flight of stone steps and went up them, as fast as they could. The door at the top of the steps was ajar. They burst through it and found themselves on a wide stretch of flat roof. A full moon sent a wash of silvery light over its concrete surface. As far as they could see, there were no Neanderthals up here.

  They turned back to the door and swung it shut, but it was flimsy with age and they both realised it could not hold back the cavemen for very long. Even as they threw their weight against it, they felt the ancient wood shuddering and buckling under the impact of several pounding fists. Tamara snatched up a length of wood lying by the doorway and pushed it though the door’s metal hasp. Then she and Rose backed slowly away, staring fearfully at the door, seeing how the length of wood was already bending beneath the pressure of so many hands.

  Tamara ran to the edge of the roof and peered down into the darkness. It was too high to jump and there was no sign of any way they might climb down. They turned back to face the door as a loud splintering sound filled the night air. The length of wood had just snapped in two and now the first of the creatures was emerging onto the roof.

  Tamara threw her arms around Rose and pulled her close. ‘Shut your eyes, honey,’ she whispered. ‘It’ll soon be over.’

  They waited for the end, all hope gone.

  And then they heard a noise from above them – the droning, rhythmic sound of an engine. Rose looked up in amazement. Something was hovering in the air thirty feet above them, lights flashing on its metal fuselage. A helicopter! As she stared at it in amazement, a hatch opened and a rope ladder began to descend towards them.

  *

  At first, Kip wasn’t sure what he was looking at. The light of the torch picked out a great mass of shifting coils over in one corner of the room. Then something reared up from the midst of them, a huge oval head with two staring eyes, and he began to understand what it was. It was some kind of prehistoric snake; the biggest reptile he had ever seen. This would have been bad enough but sticking out from the snake’s mouth was a pair of human legs – legs that kicked desperately as they slid, bit by bit, down the snake’s gullet. For a horrible moment, Kip thought they might be Rose’s legs, but then he reasoned that Rose didn’t own a pair of heavy boots like the ones he was looking at. One of the men from the film, he told himself. Most probably Tad Baxter. He was now lowest down the cast list.

  He swept the torch beam around the rest of the room and saw the glass tanks Mr Lazarus had mentioned, but there was no sign of the Retriever in any of them and he certainly didn’t feel much like going in there and doing a more thorough search. A slithering sound from the far corner made him snap the beam back in that direction, only to see that the snake had finished ingesting its dinner and was now moving in his direction. He cursed and slammed the door.

  ‘Wasn’t it in there?’ asked Beth. ‘That has to be the room.’

  ‘Take it from me,’ said Kip. ‘You don’t want to go in there.’

  ‘But we have to,’ argued Beth. ‘We can’t get back without the Retriever.’ She went to open the door again but Kip put a hand on her arm.

  ‘Trust me,’ he said. ‘Don’t go in there.’

  Just then Mr Lazarus’s voice buzzed in his ear.

  ‘Kip, are you OK?’

  ‘No I’m not. The bloody Retriever’s not here!’

  ‘I know.’ Mr Lazarus sounded annoyingly calm. ‘And there’s absolutely no need for bad language. It arrived back here a few minutes ago, but I’ve just sent it into the film again.’

  ‘This is getting ridiculous,’ complained Kip. ‘Where is the pigging thing? It’s like a flipping yo-yo.’

  ‘Don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on finding Rose.’

  ‘That’s easy for you to say,’ screamed Kip. ‘You’re not stuck in this madhouse. Now just tell me where—’

  ‘She’s on the ruh–’ The Communicator gave a loud beep and went silent. Kip stared down at it in dismay. He pulled it out of the holster and thumped it a couple of times, but it was as dead as a doornail.

  ‘Oh, brilliant,’ said Kip. ‘It’s packed up.’

  Beth was staring at him in open-mouthed dismay.

  ‘Now what do we do?’ she asked.

  Kip shook his head.

  ‘I have no idea,’ he said. ‘Rose is on the ruh.’

  ‘The what?’

  ‘The ruh! That’s all I heard before the pigging phone conked out.’

  Beth thought for a moment. ‘The … railway?’ she suggested. ‘The … racecourse?’

  ‘What are you babbling about?’ cried Kip.

  ‘I’m trying to think of things that begin with ruh.’

  ‘Oh, and you reckon there’s a railway around here, do you?’ Kip shook his head. ‘And a racecourse!’ he yelled. ‘That’s really likely, isn’t it? What are we going to do now?’

  ‘I tell you what we’re going to do,’ said Beth quietly. ‘We’re going to run.’ She was pointing back along the corridor. Kip turned his head to look and saw that a couple of Neanderthals had just come round the corner from the direction of the lower staircase. They were all scratched and bloody from their fight with the sabre-toothed tiger, and the ends of their spears glistened with gore. Clearly the third member of their party was either dead or incapable of walking. Now they were staring at the two friends and the expressions on their faces were far from welcoming.

  ‘Good idea,’ said Kip and he turned and led the way along the corridor. They reached the end and found another staircase leading up. They made it to the next landing without trouble, but glancing back Kip could see that the two Neanderthals were climbing up after them. Kip shone his torch frantically around to try and get his bearings. Ahead of him was a short flight of stone steps and at the top of it, several Neanderthals were banging their fists against a closed door, a door that even as Kip watched was beginning to shatter under the onslaught of those powerful fists. On the wall beside them was a sign that read TO THE ROOF.

  ‘RUH!’ yelled Beth, pointing.

  ‘Huh?’ Kip stared at her, thinking that she must have lost her mind.

  ‘The roof, you idiot! That must be where Rose is.’

  ‘Oh right,’ said Kip. He was going to say something else but an angry bellow from just behind him made him spin round. The two armed Neanderthals had just come round the corner and were racing towards him, their spears raised to strike. But in turning, Kip had accidentally pointed the torch in their direction, directing the beam full into their faces. The effect was astonishing. The two Neanderthals dropped their spears and lifted their hands to shield their eyes. They screamed in absolute terror.

  Kip stared at them in amazement.

  ‘The torches,’ he gasped. ‘They can’t take the light. It dazzles them.’

  ‘They’ll soon get used to it,’ Beth told him.

  ‘Never mind.’ Kip put a hand on Beth’s shoulder and turned her round. He pointed at the bunch of cavemen at the top of the short flight of stairs. What was left of the door was breaking and splintering beneath their combined attack. ‘We’ve got to get through them,’ he said. ‘We’ll use the torches.’

  ‘But … they’re facing away from us!’

  ‘Then we’ve got to get their attention, somehow. What did Mr Lazarus say distracted them? Opera? Do you know any opera?’

  If Beth did, she wasn’t about to admit it.

  ‘Beth, what songs do you know?’ yelled Kip. He was keeping his light trained on the two armed Neanderthals, who were cowering away from the light as though it was burning them. ‘You need to si
ng something.’

  She glanced at him in sheer disbelief.

  ‘What do you think this is?’ she asked him. ‘The X Factor?’

  ‘Never mind that. Just sing something. Anything.’

  ‘You are kidding, I hope.’

  ‘No, I’m not kidding,’ bellowed Kip. He pointed to the creatures on the stairs. ‘Sing to them, loudly. They’re nearly through that door and I think Rose is on the other side of it. We’ve got to try and get them to turn round.’

  ‘I don’t believe this,’ protested Beth.

  ‘Just do it,’ pleaded Kip. ‘Please! There can’t be much time left. The film’s nearly over. If we get to the credits, we’re all stuck here for ever!’

  Beth looked at him in alarm. Then her shoulders slumped and she moved to the foot of the steps.

  ‘What do you want me to sing?’ she asked.

  ‘I don’t care. The first thing that comes into your head. Just sing something!’

  She nodded. She cleared her throat and she began to sing as loudly as she could. Her voice seemed to echo in the narrow confines of the landing.

  ‘Half a pound of tuppeny rice …’

  Ape-like heads turned to stare at her in dull surprise.

  ‘… half a pound of treacle …’

  More heads at the back of the queue turned and Beth gave them a blast of torchlight full in the face. Two Neanderthals screamed, lost their footing and fell down the steps onto the concrete floor below. Emboldened, Beth moved closer.

  ‘That’s the way the money goes …’

  More of the creatures were turning round to see where the sound was coming from and as they did, each of them received the torch treatment.

  ‘It’s working!’ gasped Kip. ‘Keep singing.’

  ‘Pop goes the weasel!’

  The two of them began to advance up the steps, Beth at the front, still singing and still blasting Neanderthals, Kip fighting a deadly rearguard action on the half-blinded creatures that were stumbling in pursuit. On either side of them, screaming Neanderthals fell down the steps, groping blindly as they went. Within a matter of moments Kip and Beth had cleared a path to the doorway but they could see that several of the creatures had already made it through onto the roof. They had no other choice but to follow.