Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1)

by Meghana Sarathy

  “Goodbye, Serena.”

  “I think it’s already started,” she smirks. “God save my sister.”

  She yanks the door open and storms away.

  Chapter 13

  Sara

  “That’s cool. So you’re actually a rich guy,” I deduce.

  He leans back in his chair and smiles coyly. “I sure am, but I won’t be stopping at this. There is a lot more for more to achieve. Dreams to fulfill.”

  Josh lifts his glass and stares at me expectantly. I lift my own glass of Champagne and we clink our glasses. “To new beginnings?” his brows lift in question.

  At a loss of words, I nod and we drink to it.

  “Well, Josh, this dinner went well, but….”

  “Shit,” he rubs his jaw, staring at me dejectedly. “That doesn’t sound good. Like they say, anything that comes before but is actually irrelevant and nothing that comes after but can be called good.”

  He’s bang on about that. I have had my share of experience with it too.

  “I’m not someone you’re interested in?” He offers.

  “Not saying that. But right now, I’m not really comfortable in taking it beyond first base and you are clearly seeking more.”

  I’m not usually this upfront about getting physical or relationships in general, but I’m just following my sister’s advice. She’s a lot more experienced with casual relationships. Her only advice was to lay everything out on the table. No hesitation and no second thoughts.

  “Oh.” His eyes go wide in surprise. Why does it feel like I threw a bomb at him? It’s what he was going for, right? At least that’s what I had deduced from his texts. But he was really chivalrous and modest during the dinner. He didn’t hint at anything but I just presumed he was going slow, though it felt more like two friends hanging out after a long time. There was no romantic feel to it either.

  “I’m sorry, but did I misconstrue anything?” This is actually embarrassing now. My sister and her great ideas. I would be better off at home, plotting my new story.

  “Not actually. I had just assumed you would need more convincing.” He shrugs.

  Shit. Now I’m coming off as an easy catch? Nathan probably assumes the same about me. No matter what I do, it backfires on me. Trying to be nice and sweet implies I’m encouraging and being upfront means I’m easy. So what the hell am I supposed to do now?

  “And time,” he continues at my silence. “I’m not in any hurry. Obviously, I’m interested. I should have been discrete, but good that you’re aware of my intentions. Again, I’m not saying that I’m against it turning into something serious. As of now, I’m up for trying.”

  “I wish I could say the same,” I reply honestly. “I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind for it. I thought of trying, that’s why I even came here. But I need more time. I’m not up for it.”

  Being honest is not so difficult. And going by the look on Josh’s face, he’s not hurt. He has come to terms with the truth. No false expectations. I’m not playing with anyone’s feelings. That’s a relief for me.

  “That’s ok, I guess. But I can keep trying. You haven’t actually told me a straight no. I can live with that.”

  My instructions were clear. I shouldn’t force feelings when I don’t naturally feel anything. And though feelings aren’t a necessity in casual relationships, I just realized that I can’t do casual. It’s beyond me. I wasn’t ever desperate in getting laid. I can make do without sex. But talking to him did prove one thing – I’m not into Nate for the sex part of it. No, way. It’s the guy I’m attracted to and not what he promises to deliver. If sex is all I desired, then I would feel something –anything, even a pull towards Josh, but I didn’t feel a thing. My suspicions are finally put to rest.

  “Can I?” He asks again, seeing me totally lost.

  “Yeah, I mean, we can still talk, stay in touch. I just didn’t want to mislead you.”

  “Sure.” His smile is sincere. “So, shall I drop you home?”

  “Yeah,” I nod.

  “I’ll pay the bill first.” He asks for the bill while I check my phone. I haven’t seen it since the time I came here. I had even kept it on silent. I check my messages and as soon as I see Nate’s name under the unread messages, my heart leaps into my throat. It can’t be, but it is. Nate actually messaged me. It would be late evening for him now. He would be at home with his family, despite which he made time to message me?

  But it could even be work related. Something important might have come up.

  With hopes not too high, I open the message and read it. It’ just four simple words, but it made my day for sure. This is exactly what I was longing for.

  Can I call you?

  I check the time. It was sent exactly five minutes ago. He might still be available. There’s no way I’m missing this chance.

  I start to type, but before I can finish, I hear my name being called.

  “You okay? You look tensed.”

  I lift my head to see concern etched across Josh’s face.

  “I’m not tensed. I’m just excited. Heard from an old friend after a long time.”

  I’m not just excited. My insides are literally dancing with joy. This is nervous energy- anxiety. Not sure how this conversation will progress, but I’m going to be honest about what I have started to feel for Nate. He has every right to know about it.

  “That’s nice. Enjoy.”

  Before I can comment, my phone starts vibrating in my hands. I hold it up to see Nate calling me. He didn’t even wait for me to reply with a yes. He was in such of a hurry. That actually excites me more.

  “Josh, can you give me a minute?” I request.

  “Yeah sure,” he tells and diverts his attention to his phone.

  I slide the screen, receiving Nate’s call.

  “Hi Nate,” I stammer. I need to get a grip over myself. I need to keep my nerves under check and talk nice. My excitement can’t be this evident. I honestly don’t want him to think I’m a very easy catch. He should chase me more.

  “Sara Waters.” His voice is gruff, but it’s still a feathery touch for me. “Glad you answered. Sorry for the short nice. This wasn’t scheduled.”

  His voice slurs. Don’t tell me- Nate is actually drunk calling me?

  This was unexpected, but I can still make the best of the opportunity. He’s always under control, his every word is calculated, every move measured, but now, it’s on me. I get to drive this conversation.

  “You can call me anytime. You don’t have to be so formal, you know? Like it was last established, we are friends.”

  I sneak a peek at Josh and notice him giving me a quizzical look. I had told him it’s an old friend. Great. I really can’t have this conversation with Nate in front of an audience.

  “Friends?” he chuckles. It’s the chuckle that had melted my insides the first time I had heard it. The sound of a kid laughing. Carefree. True joy. The same one. This is a rare sound. “You had promised me more. You had told you would try. Don’t back off now, Sara. Not when I need you the most.”

  His tone is no longer commanding. His voice is almost a plea. I have never heard Nathan request anyone before and this is as close to a request as it can get. Of all people he is requesting me? If Diana were to hear it, she would be in for a shock. But it’s also unsettling. Why does he need me so badly? Did something bad happen? He didn’t even attend today’s call.

  “I’m not backing off. I’m not that type. I keep my words. It would be my pleasure to help you in any way possible.”

  “Wait, what type are you then?” he chuckles again. I don’t think he even heard what I said after it. How drunk is he? If he were in Boston, I would probably go and pay him a visit right about now.

  “The type who would offer herself to you on a golden platter. You just have to say the word.”

  I didn’t just say that out loud but it seems I actually did. I don’t know what came over me. He is the one who is drunk, but I’m the one who�
�s high on him. For once, at least through words, I want to satisfy him. Give him what he yearns for. If my flapping insides are any indication, I’m actually desperate to please and impress him. Moreover, he’ll probably even forget it by tomorrow. The hangover will also wash away my words.

  “Fuck, baby. For just to hear you say those words again, I would probably even fall at your feet. Give you everything you ever desired. Everything in my power. For you and you alone.”

  I will say the words in an infinite loop just to hear him respond the same way. I would probably even live up to my words. For him and him alone.

  “Sara?” The voice breaks my stupor. I look up to see Josh leave his chair and come towards me.

  I had forgotten he was sitting right across me. He would have heard everything. I was offering myself to Nate when just few minutes ago I had told him that I’m not interested in getting laid anytime soon.

  Great going, Sara. Now you’ve established yourself as a liar.

  “It was an inside joke. Our thing,” I lie. “It’s not what you’re thinking. He and I are unusual type of friends.” Not a complete lie, but I can’t tell more than this.

  “I figured that out. It’s ok. It doesn’t concern me.”

  I think it does. He clearly thinks there is something going on between us. I can’t give any clarification when I’m so unclear myself.

  “Shall we leave then? It’s getting late for me.” He checks his watch.

  “No.” My lips are dry now. Too much going on in my head for me to think straight and come up with a believable excuse. “I’ll manage. The person on the other end of this line is someone very important and dear to me. I can’t drop this call. This might take a while. You please carry on. Thanks for the dinner.”

  “Well, ok. See you.” He doesn’t even wait for my reply as he walks away briskly.

  That was expected.

  “I’m not sorry.” My heart misses a beat as Nathan’s voice curls around it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “For what?” It didn’t strike me that Nathan would be hearing my conversation with Josh. At least I didn’t lie or say anything embarrassing.

  “For making you ditch your date with that unworthy dude. Trust me, baby, it was a very wise decision. I’ll ensure that.”

  “Unworthy?” I chuckle. “I wouldn’t go as far as to call him unworthy. He was fun,”

  Lie. But I have this need to seem him jealous. In my dictionary, jealousy implies love. His desire to be the most special person in my life. If Nathan actually feels even a morsel of jealousy, I’ll keep my hopes alive that this thing between us can actually morph into some form of love.

  “Fun?” That’s an unmistaken growl. “Let me demonstrate what fun actually is. You’ve no idea what fun entails, sweetheart.”

  Maybe I don’t. But if Nathan can show me, I’ll be an eager spectator.

  “Where are you?” he demands.

  “In a restaurant. It’s not crowded. I can talk.”

  “Won’t do. Go somewhere private. Slip in the restroom and lock the doors.”

  Holy shit. I’m not prepared for this. How does one even prepare for such ‘fun’?

  “Nate, what do you have planned? I don’t know if I’m ready for all that yet.”

  I like talking to him. Learning about him. Not sure if I’m still comfortable with the whole sexual stuff. But it’s clearly what he wants.

  “Trust me, Sara.” My name is simple. It doesn’t sound all that great but the way he says it – adding his own lilt, it becomes a sexy rasp. “You have to trust me.”

  “I do, but I need something from you in return. You’ve always been a deal ‘man’.”

  “Deal man?” he scoffs. “Really, now? Nice, continue, Ms. Deal cracker.”

  Right. He’s totally tipsy or he would never play and joke around with me like this. I just want to learn the truth. To peep into his soul and see his true self.

  “The deal is, you should answer my questions honestly and in return, I’ll slip into a restroom and start snapping pictures.”

  That’s a bold declaration, but that’s precisely what he wants, right? As long as I get to click them, I’ll decide how and what to tease him with.

  “Snapping pics? Really? You’re raising the bars.”

  “I won’t disappoint. You can be rest assured of that.” I push back my chair and rise to my feet. My eyes are in hunt for the restroom. Finding it adjacent to the garden dining area, I make a beeline for it. “And please don’t tell me that’s not what you had in mind. You want my body. You’ve always been curious to know what’s hidden under the various layers I deck myself in.”

  “Spoken like a true writer. But, you know? It would be more fun for me to shed your layers, one after the other in a slow, rhythmic pace.”

  “I thought you would pounce on me like a hungry beast,” I challenge.

  I’m the one giving him ideas now, but it’s still so fun. That’s only because it’s Nathan I’m talking to. If it were anyone else, I would shy away from such a conversation, even if it were light hearted.

  “No. Not the first time.” I hear shuffling first, followed by the sound of him panting. He might be moving to some place private. “Pouncing comes later. The first time, I want to take my time unearthing every shred of your personality, carving every crevice and curve of your body into my memory, and really look into your soul, Sara.” His voice is just a hoarse whisper now. “You’re wrong. It’s not just your body that I’m after. I want the whole of you Sara Waters. The complete package of your wit, humor, sassiness, style, confidence and innocence. I don’t want to lose out on anything.”

  Does he even realize what he’s saying? Is this what he truly wants? If what he’s saying now is true, then it completely aligns with my thoughts. Whatever ‘this’ is between us, it’s not some casual affair like he had proclaimed earlier. He doesn’t even realize what he’s getting himself into. At least I’m proceeding with full awareness of my feelings.

  “Sara? Say something. Don’t ever stop talking. I love hearing to you, no matter what you say.”

  “Nate,” I whimper, entering the restroom and closing the door behind me. For now, it’s thankfully empty. I go to the sink and deposit my bag on the platform “If you continue to speak like this, then I’ll be losing more than just my virtue to you. And I’m not sure if you’ll ever be ok with it.”

  “And what exactly is that? Whatever is it that you’ll be giving me, it will be kept securely and cherished. You have my word on that.”

  What exactly did he think I was talking about? My hand goes to my chest. I feel the hard and fast thumping of my heart. Is it still intact with me? Or has it already started beating for another? The one who was never destined to be mine.

  Before I can reply, I hear the slam of the door on the phone. “Completely alone now,” he clarifies. “Wait, we were talking about the deal. Right. Shoot your questions.”

  Should I go ahead and answer his earlier question? Is it even the right time for it? I don’t want to jump the gun at this stage. Not until I’m sure that we are indeed sailing in the same boat at least where our feelings are considered.

  “Nathan, I know so little about you. I want to understand you better. The real you. People make a lot of assumptions about you, and you present yourself in a certain way. I don’t want all those lies. I want to know more about the guy who goes home to his family, showers his family with love and yet chases a new girl in office, showing sincere feelings for her as well. Who is this man?”

  “Love?” He snorts. “I love my family, Sara. They mean the world to me. But, I don’t know, do I really love my wife? The way a husband should love his wife? The way she loves me? Maybe not. And you, baby, you’re opening up a new world for me. One foot into that world and I know I won’t turn around and head back. Your pull is too strong for me to resist.”

  “Your words are driving me mad. Or maybe I’m mad. I’m not even stopping myself from falling for you. It’s a free fall with no as
surance of a safe landing and yet, I’m diving head fast into it.”

  “I’ll catch you.” He cracks up. “I won’t ever let you get hurt. Trust me, Sara. You bring intangible joy into my life. You want to know me. No one cares about getting to know me as long as they are satisfied with the face I show them. You can never be one amongst them.” He pauses and I feel the smack of his lips as he presses them to the speaker of his phone. “My baby, you breathe life into me with everything you tell, ask and offer.”

  “Give me a chance,” I request. “I want this to go beyond sex, Nathan. I want to take away your pain, ease my way into your heart and make it my permanent residence. I want to be always there for you. You make me feel special, desired, wanted, useful, and important. I no longer care whether it’s right or wrong. Damn the guilt, damn the morals. I just want to live, breathe free again, fly in love. I can do it only with you. Only for you. Just you.”

  Confessions. They are never easy. Confessing about unrequited love? Even more difficult. Especially if the person you are confessing your feelings to is a married man who would always hold his family above anything else. And yet, I have spoken my heart. He can still stop it. Send me away. Close all doors for me. I wouldn’t fight his decision. He gets to decide now.

  “Everything worth having needs to be won. We have to fight for it. If I stop fighting, will you fight for us, Sara? I might change my mind, go distant, stop talking, push you away, get back to my senses, but would you still wait for me? Keep me alive in your thoughts? Take me back when I knock on your doors?”

  Is that what he wants? A companion for life? A nameless relation that’s hidden from the treacherous eyes of society but giving us the peace and solitude we desire?

  “Do you trust me?” I ask with a quaking voice. It’s apparent from his words that no one ever fought for him. Made him feel truly worthy of anything that’s wasn’t already pre-destined for him. The rich, smart and successful Nathan Bankers is as lost and lonely as me. That’s what got us together. Our loneliness. Our pain. We somehow satisfy each other’s need.