“Still, Nate. I don’t get what’s wrong in being more prepared? Being pulled into such a cross team project would actually help me grow and learn more. I don’t want to lose this chance,” I argue heatedly.
“Sara, nothing is as simple as you think. Let’s see how it goes before assuming or jumping to any conclusion. Just don’t overthink this.”
“I get it, but you can at least…”
“It’s time,” he speaks briskly. “Just go find a meeting room. I’ll join with him.”
I hear the click of the phone and I clamp down my own receiver. This is just not done. I don’t know what I did to annoy him so much but if he continues to behave this way, I’m going to return the same treatment. The age old tactic of tit for tat. That’s the only way he’ll understand just how much it hurts.
“Hi, Sara. You’re looking pretty.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and smile Victor’s way. It’s the first time I’m talking to him face front. He is not a part of our team, so I never got to interact much with him. But I must admit that he is pretty handsome and his age doesn’t show at all. He might be a little younger to Nathan but when sitting together, he doesn’t even hold a torch in front of him. The man sitting next to him is poised, relaxed, confident and charming as always. He doesn’t smile, but his eyes show it all- his masked emotions and the delight of seeing me. He might appear stoic but it takes the right eyes to truly see Nate and the feelings he carries. He is true perfection for me and just by looking at him now, my anger for him seems to be vaporizing into the thin air.
“Thanks, Victor,” I tell, forcing my eyes to tear their gaze from Nathan and focus on Victor instead.
He doesn’t even react – not even a small smile my way. I want to irk him now. This was long due.
“You too, Victor. You look dashing. And also, nice tie. Blue suits you.”
It would actually look nicer on Nate, but I’m not complimenting him today.
Nate clears his throat and for the first time since the meeting started, he lays his eyes on me. His gaze is unwavering and I smother under it. But before I can even smile at him, he just cusses under his breath and shifts his eyes to Victor. “If you guys are done exchanging pleasantries, can we get started with the meeting? I don’t have all day for this.”
This is not jealously. He is just plain annoyed. He has a stick up his ass. I’m damn sure of it.
“Well, sorry, Nate. I understand I’m taking away your valuable time, and that’s exactly why I’m giving you a way out. You can skip this. Sara can take over for you and give me all the info I need. She’s very well capable of that. I’ll have no qualms in speaking just with her.”
Whoa. There is some serious rivalry between these. So much is apparent. I hope it’s just healthy business competition. But there is no way I can just take over for Nate. I’m just an apprentice. Nathan is the real Master and expert here.
I start to argue in a polite tone, but Nathan shushes by raising his palm and cuing me to stop.
“It’s an offer that I had already refused,” he quips. “And for a reason. I understand what my team member is capable of, but before I can even consider sharing my resource for any of your projects, I want to understand what it’s about and what is there in it for her. My presence is vital here.”
A team member? A resource? Nice way of generalizing. He didn’t even refer to me with my name. These days I’ve really started to dislike my boss- Nathan.
“Well okay, then. Stay if you wish, but since I’m the one driving this, get used to my pace.” Victor raises his brows, coaxing Nate to rebuke him, but Nate stays quiet though the muscle in his jaw tics.
He starts with the project description and I listen without posing any questions. It’s something that I had already read through, so I don’t give him my complete attention and instead focus on Nathan. He doesn’t make eye contact with me again. His gaze is fixed on the monitor. He doesn’t even look up. I even ping him on Skype, hoping he’ll have few words to say about Victor but he doesn’t even bother to see it. Nathan and I have had such conversations during meetings before. Though his main focus would remain on the meeting proceedings, he would still entertain me every now and then. We had so much fun but now he’s just so uptight and tight lipped.
After twenty minutes of his uninterrupted talk, Nate finally lifts his head to him.
“So tell me, how and where does Sara actually fit into this? There was no role that demanded her skillset.”
My skillset? If he’s talking about technical skillset, then it’s a question I wish to ask him as well. I have been trying my hands at many things and till now I haven’t found anything that I’m particularly fond of or something I can grow to be an expert at.
“Well, don’t you think it’s high time Sara broadens her job role and does something she’s naturally an expert at? What do you think, Sara?” He looks at me expectantly.
“What according to you, am I naturally an expert at?” I ask immediately without giving Nate a chance to reply for me again.
Victor scrutinizes me amusedly and my necks heats up in response. Nate just stares between the both of us.
“You’re good in communicating with the business. You can negotiate, schedule and coordinate with them and get us the desired dates. You can be the face of communication for this project, Sara. You’re perfect for it. And I’m not exaggerating. It’s something I heard from the business. They told there have been no hassles, and it has been their pleasure to work with you.”
“Really?” My eyes go wide in surprise. My happiness is evident.
“Yeah,” he tells it in an ‘obvious’ tone. “Didn’t Nathan ever mention it to you?”
I look accusingly at Nate. He has never held back in complimenting me for my work, but he has never spoken about what business had to tell about me. It’s something he can clearly share with me. I would be happier hearing it from him.
“No, I didn’t,” he states. “It’s something between us. You don’t have to interfere in it.”
Really now? The entire time Victor has tried to play nice but Nate is being plain rude.
“Nathan,” I call out boldly. “I wish you had told me that.”
Victor smiles victoriously and shrugs. “I feel the same, Nate. She deserves to know that.”
“I get to decide that,” he scolds. “And I don’t owe any of you any justification. Coming back to the main discussion, Victor, are you seriously offering her an analyst role for your project?”
An analyst role? He can’t be serious. That’ll be like a dream come true for me. It’s way more interesting than the technical stuff that I’ve been doing and it’s also something I can easily learn and even enjoy. I’m all up for grabbing this chance.
“Well, there won’t be any change in her job role. That’s something I can’t influence.” He pauses and looks at Nate with a half-smile.
Does he mean to say that if Nate wishes, he can actually change my designation? It’s also something Misty was hinting at but I didn’t really think much about her words.
“But,” he continues at a lack of response from Nate. “I can make her work as an analyst for this project. There’s lack of resources in my team and I can’t hire a person at such a short notice for this role. Sara fits the bill. She has my vouch of confidence.”
“Thank you, Victor.” My smile stretches across my face. “I’m really glad that you trust me with such an important task. I would love to do it.”
“And let me remind you that I get to make the final call.” Nate’s tone sends chills down my spine. Is this how he becomes when he’s jealous? I think calling this jealousy is idiocrasy. As much as I want to see it, this is not jealousy. I don’t know what to call it, but he’s just trying to prove to us that he is my commander and I can’t do anything without his consent. I understand that he does have the authority to decide, but my opinion should count.
“You do understand that Sara has her own work to do being a part of my team? Work tha
t has already been assigned to her, which is her top priority? And she’s still new. I don’t see why I have to overburden her with this work as well. She requires some breathing space too.”
Is he really saying this? He knows that I’m not the big fan of my work and this is clearly something I want to embrace with both my hands. And it’s not like my work takes away all my time. In fact, this work will keep me occupied and my time obsessing over my rather mean boss will reduce. It’s good from all angles.
“Well, Sara,” Victor starts in a polite tone. “I shall be upfront with you. This project will demand at least two hours of your time daily. If you are interested and want to gain more experience and learning exposure, then it’s well worth it. Deducing your work load, I believe you can squeeze time for it. Rest is up to you and Nathan.”
“I think I can,” I say confidently without looking at Nate. I don’t know what he has in mind, but I have every right to voice my opinion and I will. “I’m interested and I can make time for both. I’m actually quite eager to take this up.”
“Well, Nate, has the decision been made?” He asks cockily this time. I can’t blame him for being cocky. Nate has been arrogant throughout the meeting.
“No,” he tells smoothly, his focus back on the monitor. “This is not a simple and an easy decision to make. We are talking about commitment to a project that can go on for months. Though I know what the both of you want, it’s something I need to think about and plan. I’ll get back to you.” He shuts his laptop and gets up, ready to leave.
“Fine then.” Victor gets up agitatedly. “Get back to me soon. If not, I’ll start searching for another fitting candidate.”
“Sure.” Nate walks to the door, but turns back to look at me. This time his eyes soften, glistening with something I can’t put my hands on. What is it? Love? Concern? It’s definitely not indifference, which he was trying to portray throughout the meeting. “See you, Sara. Have a good day.” The screen goes blank as he disconnects.
What the hell is happening?
“Hey, Sara. You just got a new mail.”
Hearing her words, I beat the egg hastily and start to mix it with the blinder. A part of me doesn’t want to leave the kitchen until this omelet is made, but the other half wants to fuck it all and just see the mail. It has to be from Nathan. It will be his decision in regards to me working for Victor’s project.
“Should I see it?” She asks from the couch, lazily skimming through the channels.
I’m tempted to say yes and get it done with. I mean, it doesn’t matter who sees it. I’ve already told her about the meeting and she had told that she would keep her opinions to herself until she hears Nathan’s decision. So I can assume that she’s equally curious.
“Yeah. Why not?” I shrug nonchalantly when in reality, I’m shivering from head to toe and my pulse rate is skyrocketing. This will make a big difference to me and it’s something I hope that he had considered while deciding.
I push the contents onto the frying pan as the silence from her end draws out. My hands work robotically while I try not to ponder over his decision. There’s no point. Nathan Bankers is impossible to figure out at times, especially when it comes to work.
“He has refused,” she tells flat out.
I stop stirring as my hands go still. No way. He can’t do this. Why would he?
“Take over the kitchen for me,” I shout, but before I can even finish, she appears behind me.
“I will. You go read his mail,” she urges, taking the pan from my grip.
I rush into the living room, plopping into the couch. Placing the laptop on my lap, I start to read it.
It’s mail that he has sent to Victor and his team, adding only me in CC.
Hi Victor,
We had a good discussion today and I understand why you believe that Sara can be a good resource for this project. But, as capable as she is, she cannot be a part of this project. She is still new, growing, and already has other work assigned to her that takes top priority. I don’t think adding this project to her plate at this stage will help. I want her to focus more on learning and developing new skillset rather than settling for a big project this early. I would suggest you to find an alternative resource for the same.
Regards,
Nathan Bankers.
I read the mail all over again, hoping for the words to sink in. This can’t be true. Nathan can’t just toss away such a wonderful opportunity for my growth in this company. This is absurd and so unlike him.
“Well?” Sophie settles next to me and places my plate on the table. “What do you think?”
My eyes well with tears and I try to blink them away. I’m not sad that I lost such a good opportunity, that’s actually secondary. I’m more upset that Nate made the choice for me, completely disregarding what I wanted. He didn’t even bother to inform me personally about his reasoning. He went ahead and ended it with a mail.
“I know, I know. You need not have to say how upset you are. I get it. I also get you lost your appetite. So, I won’t be forcing you to eat. Take your time,” she tells, switching off the TV and fetching me the much needed silence.
“I can’t believe he did that,” I mutter more to myself.
“He sure did and going by his mail, I honestly felt that he was highlighting how you still have a lot to learn. Clearly suggesting that you’re a misfit to the project.”
“And proving Victor wrong. He was very confident that I would be perfect for the project. That’s why he even approached Nate in the first place. He didn’t even consider anyone else.”
Taking a bite of her Omelet, she chews it silently. I ponder aloud, trying to understand Nate’s objective behind this.
“You think he doesn’t like Victor? Is there any bad blood between the two?” she asks curiously.
“I thought the same and I even asked Diana and Samuel. They said that it’s just usual business rivalry between the two in taking up new projects and trying to beat the other. Nothing more than that. He is more or less the same with the other managers. No personal grudge as such,” I explain.
“Okay, so let’s rule out the option that just because he doesn’t’ like Victor, he didn’t want you to work with him. Secondly, do you really believe this wasn’t the right project or the right stage for you to pick this up like he had mentioned in his mail?”
I know where she’s going with this and I have to credit her for at least trying to think of a good logic before jumping the gun on him.
“No. I had clearly told him that I could take it up. Balancing two projects wouldn’t be that difficult going by my current work load. And it’s also something he clearly understands. I don’t know what’s going on in that head of his, but I’m not taking his side on this. It was clearly unfair. He hurt me and I’ll make sure to tell him the same.”
I start to draft a mail to him, expressing my hurt emotions over his decision. I want to keep it formal and have an ‘office’ like discussion (the way he prefers) without any personalization. I can speak his language too. So far I hadn’t because, I always wanted to see him as someone special and close to me, and not just like my authoritative boss who in general terms can be replaced with anyone else vesting the same power. But Nathan would always remain irreplaceable for me and even as my Boss, I saw Nathan and Nathan alone. But clearly, he just sees me as an inexperienced, replaceable resource.
“Wait, hold it,” she tells, stopping me from continuing my typing.
I look up at her and she starts with her analysis. She’s been waiting to do this and this time I’ve no other choice but to listen to her logical arguments that certainly won’t paint Nathan in good light. “I really think he’s plain jealous.”
“Sorry?” I chuckle much to my own disbelief. Nathan’s jealous of me?
“Yes. I’ve met all sorts of guys, no, I mean, men. Men of his age and position in my company. And I get that it’s wrong to generalize, but going by the way Nate is behaving, it’s highly possible that his ego
is bruised with what happened.”
“You have to explain,” I tell, burying my head in my hands.
“You’re working under him and he is the one who encouraged you to work and interact with the business, and he clearly wants you to grow under his supervision and give him all credit for it. It’s expected and that’s how he will even grow in the organization and that’s something he must have been doing over the years. Growing as manager is different from growing as an associate. You have to trust me on this.”
“Continue,” I whisper sadly. What she’s saying is a fact and is something I have also heard in office. And as a businessman, I don’t know Nate all that well to agree or even disagree. It seems possible.
“And it’s not actually wrong either. But then again, this Victor dude took him by shock with his offer. He had heard about you and how good you were, but Nathan’s name was never raised. No one spoke of him, or how he was the one who monitored and guided you. It was all you, though you were just following his words. You kind of outshined him and he didn’t take it all too well. I also think that’s the reason he never bothered telling you about the business praising you. And given his rivalry with Victor, if he had actually let you be a part of his project and you had succeeded, which even he believes is highly likely, and with Victor getting all the credits for roping you in and aiding your growth, it would just make him the loser, at least in his eyes and would leave him with a very bruised ego. A man of his tenure would never be ok with that and he is pretty prideful.”
She finishes but I don’t reply. I ponder silently over her words. In the present scenario, it’s making more sense than it should. Nate is calculative, smart and he always foresees the possible consequences before taking any decision. And if something doesn’t work in his favor, he would nip it in the bud. That’s probably what he’s doing to me.
“But he did it at my cost. My happiness. My growth. My wishes.” I swallow another sob, trying my best to not let the tears flow.
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 27
