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Dead White Writer on the Floor

Page 4

by Drew Hayden Taylor


  INJUN JOE

  This is getting a little over my head.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  These are not the conversations we have on our buffalo hunts. Why am I vaguely uncomfortable?

  TONTO

  Me know he care. Me can tell. But he cowboy in Old West. People there do not talk of such things. So we must keep secret. Must it always be like this, me ask? Me want place where we can live our lives, not wear masks. Be free to love. But instead, we must always play the game, be macho, shoot big guns, get in fist fights. Live lie. Me no like live lie anymore. Me want more. Me want a real life. Me want to come out of canyon!

  BILLY JACK

  What are you saying?

  TONTO

  Nothing. Just thinking aloud. Never mind. Me talk too much.

  POCAHONTAS

  You didn’t … did you kill him?

  TONTO

  Kill who?

  POCAHONTAS

  The dead white writer.

  TONTO

  Oh no. Me good guy.

  INJUN JOE

  Old buddy, old pal, we’ll get you a little freedom. Or die trying.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  The two of you are truly brave. I envy you. I am as old as the hills, always have been, and I cannot change. I cannot even imagine the journey you attempt. Changing the world is for the young. I will stay and tend the campfire.

  BILLY JACK

  I will stay with you, Grandfather.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  I will not leave your side.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  Go then. Travel well. Our blessings go with you.

  POCAHONTAS

  I do not want to leave them. They must come with us.

  TONTO

  Hmm, yes. No good if left behind.

  INJUN JOE

  If they don’t wanna go, they don’t wanna go. What you gonna do? Hold a gun to their head?

  POCAHONTAS approaches the old man.

  POCAHONTAS

  Yes, Grandfather, you have the wisdom of years, but please do not see that as a hindrance.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  I was made old. And have always been old. That is the way of things.

  POCAHONTAS

  Grandfather, a twig breaks easier than a single branch; a branch breaks easier than a limb; a limb breaks easier than the trunk of a tree. And while we are on this wood metaphor, a two-hundred-year-old oak can change shape and become a fine house or a fleet of fine canoes, a totem pole even, many great things. Do not let age stop you.

  OLD LODGE SKINS takes a peek at the machine.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  It is a fine-looking machine, isn’t it?

  INJUN JOE

  “Fine” is just a word. This thing is our dreamcatcher. It will get rid of all our bad dreams and make our good dreams come true.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  Will it make me young? I want to be young.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  But, Grandfather … you are a grandfather. An Elder. And an Elder that is not old … what is that?

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  A young man.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  How can you want such a thing? What will happen to all your lines of wisdom? Your grey hair of understanding … It cannot be.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  My young warrior, you must understand. I’ve never been young like you. I’ve always been this age. I’ve never run with the buffalo like you. Or fought great battles either. I seem to have memories, but … I remember them with my mind, not my heart. Yes, I want to be young. I want to see those battles for myself. I am tired of waiting in the teepee like a frightened old woman for the young warriors to return home with their tales of bravery. I want to be the one to come home with scalps. Can this be done?

  INJUN JOE

  We can find out.

  POCAHONTAS helps OLD LODGE SKINS approach the desk.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  I thank you for giving an old man one final chance.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  Grandfather …

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  Yes, my son.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  I will join you.

  TONTO

  Me confused. You just say you stay behind.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  With the grandfather. If he sees it best to move on, I will not contradict him.

  BILLY JACK

  I thought you were happy with what you were.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  I am. I thought I was. I don’t know anymore. The more you all talked, the more I thought. I have this long, unmanageable hair, and I am always … finding things in it. I’m tired of it always blowing in my face; it’s always so windy on the prairies. And those horses … I have never liked horses. Nasty, brutish animals. But I must ride them. I would not be Kills Many Enemies if I didn’t ride into the enemy’s village on a horse. I would be Killed By Many Enemies. And I have no sense of humour. I want to be funny. I want to know irony. It is boring out there on the prairies, day after day, week after week. I mean, you gotta do something to break the monotony. Warriors aren’t the funniest bunch of people to hang around with … always trying to look and act macho. No. I have had enough. I want more.

  INJUN JOE

  That all? You want to be … funny?!

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  Yeah, and maybe a job. And short hair. And no more damned horses. And some place that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer, with lots of those cool breeze boxes over there. No bugs too. That should about cover it.

  INJUN JOE

  Okay, a bit specific but not unexpected.

  TONTO

  One left.

  They all look at BILLY JACK.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  Join an old man on his last adventure. Together we will take coup.

  BILLY JACK

  I have no dreams. Only reality. I’ve been alone before. It doesn’t scare me.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  You are so young to be so bitter.

  BILLY JACK

  I am the product of war. White man against Indians. Americans against the Vietnamese. That can make a man bitter. It would be nice to … maybe … be somebody at ease with himself. With his heritage.

  POCAHONTAS

  Listen, my friend. I want to leave the love that was created in me behind. I am just realizing this can be done. It is false and misplaced. Maybe you can do that with your bitterness. That is why we are going on this journey. To leave behind what we don’t like about ourselves. What has wrongly been forced upon us. To be free.

  BILLY JACK

  You sound so sure. But without bitterness, what will I be?

  POCAHONTAS

  Somebody a lot less bitter. That is not so bad, is it?

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  Come with us. When we arrive … wherever we arrive, I will tell you a joke. It will make you laugh. A very hearty laugh.

  BILLY JACK

  (to INJUN JOE) Do you want me to come on your journey?

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  Not just his journey. Our journey. Your journey.

  INJUN JOE

  It makes no never mind to me. As long as you keep your fists to yourself.

  TONTO

  Me think you should come.

  POCAHONTAS

  Please. We started this voyage together, we should finish it together.

  INJUN JOE

  You afraid there, muscle boy? It could get scary.

  BILLY JACK

  The last time anything frightened me, I was a child.

  POCAHONTAS

  Maybe it’s time to change that. It can be fun to be scared.

  BILLY JACK

  It would be nice to bring healing instead of pain. To spread knowledge instead of violence.

  KILLS MANY ENEMIES

  Boo! (to TONTO) Was that funny?

  TONTO

  Not really. Sorry.

  BILLY JACK think
s. He is wracked by indecision.

  BILLY JACK

  (to INJUN JOE) Do you still think I killed the writer?

  INJUN JOE

  Him? It don’t matter now who killed him. He’s dead and we’re not. (pause) Did you?

  BILLY JACK

  No. Did you?

  INJUN JOE

  No. It seems nobody killed the white writer, then. Bit of a mystery, huh?

  BILLY JACK

  Do we just leave him here?

  INJUN JOE

  Why not? He was going to leave us where we were. So, are you with us?

  BILLY JACK

  I … am with you.

  OLD LODGE SKINS

  It is a good omen.

  TONTO

  Now we can begin. What we do now … Kemo …

  INJUN JOE

  Hey! No more of that.

  They all crowd around the computer. INJUN JOE sits down in the chair and looks at the computer. He doesn’t move.

  POCAHONTAS

  What’s wrong?

  INJUN JOE

  Uh, anybody know how to work this thing?

  BILLY JACK

  I think so. It looks like a typewriter of some sort. Do you want me to …

  INJUN JOE

  No. Let me. I want to do it. Just … somehow … tell it to make me able to read and work it. Then I will take it from there.

  BILLY JACK hesitantly taps away at the computer, writing a sentence or two. Suddenly INJUN JOE stiffens up, like he’s getting an idea.

  INJUN JOE

  Gutenberg! It’s all so simple. My turn! (shifting positions with BILLY JACK) Hallelujah! I hope everybody’s been to the outhouse, ’cause we ain’t stoppin’ for nothing. (looks at writer’s body) Thanks for nothin’. Okay … here we go.

  INJUN JOE begins to type maniacally on the keyboard, laughing. And the lights start shifting around, before before going down.

  End of Act One.

  Act Two

  Lights come up to reveal the very same office where the dead white writer had been before. Time has passed but little has changed, except the people. Their clothing, speech, and mannerisms are now contemporary. The six companions are sitting in chairs, facing each other in a circle. They look uncomfortable. Some are smoking. They make small talk amongst themselves as they wait for somebody to get things started.

  MIKE

  Well, welcome, everybody, to our first meeting of the month. And wow, everybody’s here today. That is truly a good omen. Glad to have you all here, together again. So who wants to start? Huh, anybody? Floor’s open.

  Again another uncomfortable pause. Finally BILL takes a deep breath, and stands up.

  BILL

  All right, I’ll get this freak show started. Hi, my name is Bill, and I’m an alcoholic.

  EVERYBODY

  Hello, Bill.

  BILL

  I haven’t drank in, oh I guess a coupla months now. I guess that’s pretty good, huh?

  They all applaud him.

  MIKE

  And why did you drink, Bill?

  BILL

  Hell, for the simplest reason in the world …

  JIM

  A woman?

  BILL

  Hell no. Women are hardly simple, trust me. I drank to get drunk. Next question.

  MIKE

  Bill, why did you want to get drunk? There’s gotta be a deeper reason.

  BILL

  Pressure, I guess. You see, I’m under a hell of a lot of pressure at work. As you know, I run the Flaming Arrow Casino …

  SALLY

  Yeah, the one out by Highway 73. That’s a nice place.

  BILL

  Thanks. Wait till you see the renovations. The biggest air conditioning system in the province. And picture a huge medicine wheel over the roof of the casino, with all the lines made by laser beams.

  JOHN

  Isn’t that kinda sacrilegious?

  BILL

  Hell no. It’s all good. We got a write-up in Architecture Today. The style is called Nouveau Native. We even had the whole placed blessed by Mike here. Eh, Mike?

  MIKE

  Yeah, it took 143 braids of sweetgrass to smudge the place. That’s one big casino.

  BILL

  You know what they say … size matters.

  He waits for a laugh that doesn’t come.

  SALLY

  Do you got bingo?

  BILL

  Bingo?! No, I don’t “got” bingo. That’s so rez.

  FRED

  Rez …? Res … residential school? Are you talking about residential schools? I went to one of those. I remember …

  MIKE

  We know, Fred. That’s why you’re here.

  FRED

  That’s why I’m here.

  JOHN

  You started drinking because of it.

  FRED

  I drink because of it.

  MIKE

  But not anymore.

  FRED

  But not anymore. That’s why I’m here.

  FRED starts to cry.

  BILL

  Oh man, he’s starting to cry again. I hate it when he does this.

  SALLY

  Leave him alone.

  MIKE

  Fred. It’s okay. It’s me. Did you have another flashback?

  FRED

  They don’t go away. The memories. I can still see them. Smell them. It hurts, Mike. It hurts. Are you sure I don’t drink anymore? I sure could use one. It makes them go away.

  MIKE

  That doesn’t help, Fred. It only makes things worse. That’s why we’re all here. To support each other. Your friends are a much better crutch to lean on than drinking.

  JIM

  Me, I’m here for the donuts.

  SALLY

  Shut up, Jim.

  MIKE

  Fred, you know I’m your friend, right?

  FRED

  Yes. You’re my friend.

  MIKE

  I’m the one who helped you, remember? I got you into that treatment centre. The one I stayed at. I became your sponsor. I drive you here for every meeting. I take you to the sweats, Fred. I’m your friend and I wouldn’t lie to you. Okay?

  SALLY

  You listen to Mike, Fred. He knows what he’s talking about.

  FRED

  My friends … you guys are my friends aren’t you?

  BILL

  You bet.

  JOHN

  “All for one” and all that sort of stuff.

  FRED

  We’ve always been friends, haven’t we?

  MIKE

  I guess you could say that. Ever since the beginning. Come on, let’s take our seats again.

  SALLY

  Bill, if we can, I want to get back to the bingo issue …

  BILL

  Nobody plays bingo anymore, Sally. Get with the times. We got blackjack, keno, slot machines, roulette, craps, baccarat, and a half-dozen other games from around the world that you ain’t never heard of …

  SALLY

  No bingo … Now that’s sacrilegious!

  MIKE

  People, we seem to be getting a little off topic here. Bill, you were telling us about how you became an alcoholic.

  JIM

  Oh, who cares anymore?

  JOHN

  I care. He is our brother. He must be supported.

  BILL

  Thanks, John. Like I said, it was the casino. Way too much pressure. Way too many decisions. Drinking helped me not get so nervous and frustrated. I discovered owning your own liquor licence is a mixed blessing. Man, if this thing goes down the tubes, it’s over for me.

  MIKE

  Positive thinking, Bill. And how’s the family?

  BILL

  Jill’s living up north, with the kids. I miss them.

  SALLY

  Maybe they’ll come back. Once they see how well you’re doing.

  BILL

  Sally, you were always the optimist of the group
. I think that’s why I’m working so hard on the casino. I don’t want to think about Jill and the kids, or how badly I want a drink. The more I concentrate on the casino, the less time I have to worry about anything else. (to JOHN) Oh, John, by the way, did you bring my cigarettes with you when you came down?

  JOHN

  Yep, ninety-four boxes in my trunk, but we’ll do business later.

  JIM

  Can we speed this up?

  SALLY

  What’s your hurry?

  JIM

  I got things to do. Important things.

  SALLY

  Speaking of important things, Chief Jim, when do we get our welfare cheques?

  JIM

  They’re in the mail.

  SALLY

  What mail? You live half a kilometre down the road. In your new house. The band office is a kilometre in the other direction. And who ever heard of a band office with a hot tub? It’s easier and quicker if I come up tomorrow and pick it up directly.

  JIM

  You can do whatever the hell you want, but it’s still going to be in the mail.

  MIKE

  Now, Jim …

  JIM

  Look, Mike, I never wanted to be a part of this stupid circle. I don’t have a drinking problem.

  MIKE

  We’ve all heard that before.

  JIM

  A couple glasses of wine isn’t worth all this shit.

  JOHN

  Then why are you here?

  For a moment, JIM looks uncomfortable.

  JIM

  Because … because you guys are all here.

  MIKE

  Do you hate being alone, Jim?

  JIM

  I get nervous sometimes … it’s like somebody’s watching me. Us. Something like that.

  JOHN

  And people call me paranoid.

  BILL

  Well, if you’d stop blockading the Tim Hortons, people might like you more.

  JOHN

  Hey, that’s a righteous political act that demonstrates our sovereignty against a symbol of Canadian imperialism.

  BILL

  For God’s sake, it’s owned by that Wendy’s hamburger chain. In the States. Do your research, John.

  JIM

  Seriously, people. I haven’t felt right in a long time.

  FRED

  Me either.

  JIM

  For some reason … somehow … I feel safer with you guys. I don’t know why, but …

  MIKE

  Jim, are you reaching out to us?!

  SALLY

  I think he is.

  JIM

  Oh, go to hell.

  MIKE

  No, no. Jim. Stay with us. Let’s explore this feeling. Is this why you embezzled that money from the Department of Indian Affairs, and the band office, and those other two businesses … for a sense of security if something goes wrong? A nest egg? It’s quite common, you know.

 

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