Resilience

by Bailey Bradford

  Rolling around in self-pity sure wasn’t going to help, but—Todd smiled—he knew

  something that might.

  Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into Gabe’s driveway. He called in his lunch break then shut the cruiser off and got out. A couple of deep breaths and he already felt better than he had in a while. Something about visiting his friend always loosened that weird knot in Todd’s chest. Knowing he could just pop in anytime helped, too. It was nice to feel wanted, or at least something more than just tolerated.

  Todd walked up to the porch, then tried to keep his steps light. If he could pull it off, he was going to sneak in and surprise Gabe. It’d probably result in Todd’s eardrums bleeding from Gabe’s shriek, but they’d both laugh about it afterwards.

  Tiptoeing in cowboy boots sucked, but Todd did it. He got to the door. The screen

  wasn’t open but the wooden door was, as usual. Todd raised his hand to knock—and about had a heart attack when Gabe jumped out from behind the open door and shouted “Boo!”

  “Jesus!” Todd barely kept from screeching it, or maybe he didn’t, hard to tell with his pulse pounding in his ears. He stumbled back and caught himself on the porch rail as he gawped at Gabe…the laughing bastard!

  Gabe’s eyes were practically glowing as he bent and grabbed his stomach. “Ohmigod,

  you should see your face!”

  Todd blinked then scowled and shut his mouth. He saw his face every day when he

  shaved. He knew exactly how goofy he could look contorting his features around. “Ha ha.”

  Then Todd’s pique morphed into amusement at his own expense and he laughed. “I was

  gonna scare you.”

  Gabe stood up and leaned against the doorframe. He nudged the screen door open with

  his foot. “Yeah, but you about made me piss myself sneaking up on me out back last week.

  You want lunch?”

  Todd shrugged. He didn’t care if he ate or not, he just wanted the warm companionship. Wanted, for an hour, to not feel like such a loser.

  Gabe straightened up and moved to hold the screen door open with his hand. “Well,

  come on then. I’m not gonna stand here all day holding the damn door open. I do have websites to design and all that fun shit.”

  Todd tried not to blush. He’d seen some of the websites Gabe had designed. One in

  particular had stirred up all kinds of fantasies. Rick’s Rockin’ Rods, that was it. Todd had only caught a glimpse of some of the things on there, but it’d been enough to make his cock so hard his eyes had crossed. He’d had to beat off in Gabe’s bathroom. Fortunately it hadn’t taken long at all, the fear of discovery merging with a weird excitement and a flood of horniness that’d brought Todd to his peak in a few short minutes.

  “Hey.” Todd stopped right inside the doorway. The screen door popped him on the

  backside but it didn’t hurt and he didn’t notice it much because Gabe caught his arm. Gabe looked at him in a way that Todd knew too well, that mix of pity or sympathy, it was the same thing to him, and a dose of caring that was more precious to Todd than his own pride.

  Gabe narrowed his eyes and reached up with his other hand to touch Todd’s cheek.

  Before he could think better of it, Todd sucked in a sharp breath and turned his head. He’d forgotten about his father slapping him earlier. Todd wondered if Adam had seen the bruise that must have been there. Either that, or Gabe was psychic.

  “He did this?” Gabe growled, then he rolled his eyes. “Of course he did, unless your mother did it. Fucking assholes, both of them!” Gabe stroked over his cheek once more then stepped away and glared at Todd. “One of these days I am going to lose my shit all over your father! Guh!” He threw his hands up in the air and stomped down the hall, still bitching. “And your mother? Oh. My. God. Someone needs to hold her down and give her an IV of Midol! Or Prozac. Something, she’s just… She’s just mean! If my grandma were still alive, she’d go smack some sense into your mom and set your dad straight, let me tell you!”

  Todd almost smiled at that. He liked it when Gabe got all protective of him. Made him feel like there was at least one person in the world who cared. Sometimes he thought it’d have been nice if he and Gabe were attracted to each other, but then he shook the idea away.

  Gabe was too much like a brother to him. He listened as Gabe kept ranting, or tried to listen, but his mind kept drifting off as he wondered about Adam Soames. Why would a young, attractive man want to move to a small armpit of a town? Was he running from bad memories or…or was he a shitty vet who couldn’t do any better than a town like Shasta?

  “Earth to Todd.”

  Todd blinked when Gabe snapped his fingers in front of Todd’s face. “What?”

  Gabe huffed and set a plate of Pop-Tarts in front of him. “There. Lunch. You weren’t listening to a word I said.” Gabe gave him a look that brooked no argument, not that Todd was going to deny the accusation.

  “Sorry.” Todd picked up a Pop-Tart, warm and toasty. He took a bite and moaned a

  little, he couldn’t help it. Gabe couldn’t have been too pissed off about Todd’s lack of attention, otherwise Todd would have got cold Pop-Tarts. And he sure wouldn’t have got cherry, his favourite. Todd loved the childish treats, unhealthy as they were. He hadn’t been allowed anything like them growing up, and he refused to buy them now, or else he’d eat nothing else and weigh a ton in no time.

  Gabe sat down across from him and took a bite of his own Pop-Tart. “S’okay. I was just talking about the puppies. I really wish you could take one.”

  Todd swallowed and chased the gooey sweet down with cold milk before replying.

  “You know I can’t have pets in the apartment. Probably a good thing or I’d have a whole herd of dogs and cats.”

  Gabe chuckled and finished off his lunch in two big bites. He took Todd’s plate when he was done then rinsed it while Todd found the dish towel. “So, anything interesting going on in town?”

  Todd almost dropped the glass he was drying. It was the same question Gabe

  frequently asked him, but this time it seemed almost prying. Me and my good friend, paranoia.

  “Nah.” Todd set the glass in the cabinet, careful to keep his back to Gabe while he continued.

  “Met the new vet, Adam Soames. Sheriff wanted me to go check him out. Guess he’s afraid Soames might take over the world or something.”

  “New vet?” Gabe nudged Todd’s back. “Why didn’t I know we were getting a new vet? Maybe he’ll be one I can actually use. My gay cooties scared Doc Shithead too much.”

  Todd risked a peek over his shoulder. Gabe was watching him, sure enough. Todd sighed and turned around. “Soames seems nice, I guess. I didn’t really talk to him. Just checked to make sure he wasn’t the Antichrist or whatever.”

  Gabe arched a brow. “They’ve got makeup that would have covered the Mark of the

  Beast on his forehead. You have to be more thorough when checking those things out.”

  Todd almost cringed, but not quite. His father would have struck him and Gabe both for such jokes. But he was past that. He hoped. “Well, maybe you should check him out then, since you know so much more about all that than this preacher’s son does.”

  “Is he cute?” Gabe waggled his eyebrows and it was only then Todd realised he might

  have screwed up royally, because if Adam was gay, and he saw Gabe? Met Gabe? Well, that’d solve the problem of Todd’s rapidly growing attraction, kind of. It wouldn’t kill it but he’d sure never act on it then.

  I’m not gonna act on it now! He absolutely wasn’t! “I dunno.” He shrugged and knew if he wasn’t careful he was going to be beet red. “Can we go outside? I want to play with the puppies for a bit before I have to get back to work.”

  “Diverting, much?” Gabe muttered. Todd chose to ignore that. He suspected Gabe

  suspected… Todd took a page from Gabe’s book and rolled his eyes. If Gabe didn’t kno
w Todd was gay, he had to at least wonder. But Gabe hadn’t asked and Todd hadn’t told, so…

  So it was just what it was. “And I’m taking that as a yes. If he was ass-ugly, you woulda said.”

  There wasn’t any sense in denying it. “Yeah.” Then the yips of the puppies and the

  bouncing, happy dogs, always so glad to see him, distracted Todd from everything else. It wasn’t until he was driving off that he went back to worrying about whether or not Adam was gay, and what would happen when Gabe and Adam met.

  Chapter Three

  It’d been a week since Adam had seen the cute deputy, and he was kind of relieved. It hadn’t taken but a couple of days to realise Shasta wasn’t an LGBTQ-friendly town. Which, considering he’d moved here with the idea of becoming a pathetic old hermit with only his pets for companionship… Well, yeah, seemed things were going to work out just like he’d planned.

  At least he’d learn to get his straight act down quick. That sheriff was a creepy, bigoted fucker who wore hatred like a badge. Probably wore it with more pride than his actual sheriff’s badge. He was without a doubt the epitome of every jerk who’d bullied and beaten Adam in school, and Adam had hated him on the spot. He didn’t feel bad about it since he knew it was mutual.

  And of course, he thought as he pulled up to his clinic, there sat Sheriff Dickhead in his cruiser, glaring across the parking lot at Adam.

  “Yeah, well, fuck you.” Adam gave the man the biggest, fakest smile he could manage

  on only a cup of coffee, then parked his car and got out. He laughed when the sheriff gunned his engine and roared out of the parking lot. Maybe he’d make the sheriff so mad he’d roll his damned vehicle or something. “Calm yourself, inner bitch.” He really needed to work on his temper, but he had a really bad feeling about Kaufman, and life was too short to put up with shitty people.

  Adam tried to shake off his funk, let it get carried away in the cool early morning breeze. He unlocked his clinic—his, God, how he liked that!—and turned off the alarm before it could start blaring. He went ahead and turned the lights on, opening up officially even though his employees hadn’t come in yet. He checked the clock on the wall and grunted.

  They had fifteen minutes before they were supposed to clock in. Adam didn’t know

  Jade and Verna well, but they seemed like decent people. They sure didn’t seem broken up about getting a new boss. Adam didn’t blame them. The old vet had been an utter ass, and Adam would bet dollars to dog collars he’d not have sold the clinic to a gay man— knowingly. That was why realtors could be such a blessing, he mused.

  Adam turned on the computer at the front desk then flipped the lights on in each room he passed. The dogs heard him coming, and the noise from the kennels attached to the medical building ratcheted up to un-frigging-godly. Adam grinned as he stepped into the small kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He really needed to get a new coffeemaker, one with a timer so the coffee would be ready when he got in to work.

  Once the coffee had started brewing, and his mouth watering, Adam heard the

  electronic bell that let him know someone had come in the front door. “Back here,” he hollered, figuring it was one of his employees since there were no appointments scheduled until…tomorrow. “Please tell me one of you brought some more of those sausages…” Spicy and wrapped in a crescent roll, those things were divine and addictive and Adam really shouldn’t eat them if he didn’t want a fat ass. Then again, he wasn’t looking for a man, right?

  The lack of an immediate answer gave him a fissure of unease that turned quickly into embarrassment when an unfamiliar male voice called back, “Okay, you do know there’s so many ways that could be taken.”

  Adam’s eyes about popped out of his head. The man’s voice was just slightly breathy, flirty. Maybe not noticeably so to someone who wasn’t attuned to such nuances, but he sure as hell couldn’t miss them. Obviously he wasn’t the only gay guy in town… Bad news if he was intent on keeping to himself.

  Oh, shut yourself up, idiot. Just because he’s gay and I’m gay doesn’t mean there will ever be fucking of any kind involved. Jesus, I’ve had gay friends before that I never… Adam’s thoughts screeched to a halt. Even with Jameson, his best buddy ever, there’d been the occasional hand job or blow job when they’d been single and desperate…and usually really drunk.

  Well. He would just have to cloak himself in asexuality then, Adam decided. He’d

  meant it when he’d given up on finding a partner, and when he’d decided he’d had enough of his friends breaking his heart. Even Jameson, though he was only following his own, falling in love and being happy—and leaving Adam without a friend he could trust on the goddamned continent.

  Yeah, better to not be too friendly. Adam tried to put the slightest bit of frown in his voice when he called back to the stranger. “Sorry, thought you were one of the girls.” Oh shit, ‘the girls’ would skin him if they heard him call them that! But he was trying to get some breasts involved somehow, and…and he was a fucking idiot. Adam sighed. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

  “Sure.”

  He jumped and sloshed coffee all over the floor. “Shit!” Adam set the pot down and

  tried not to glare over his shoulder at the… Oh, God damn it, the handsome dark-haired man with the bright green eyes. Holding an adorable puppy, who looked at Adam with a world of misery in its woeful expression.

  Adam’s irritation fled, as did his awareness of the man holding the puppy, except in the most basic of ways. “What’s a matter, little—guy? Girl?” He put a hand on the pup’s head and looked expectantly at the man holding it.

  The man blushed and stuttered and Adam’s inner vanity slut did a “Woot! I still got it, baby!” cheer. “Uh, yeah. Girl. Um, this is Babs, and she’s been lethargic since last night, but the rest of her litter is fine.”

  Adam took the puppy from the guy, forgetting about the coffee or manners or anything else. He peered into her eyes, then lifted her lip to check her gums. They were pale and his gut clenched just as it did any time he saw an animal suffering. “Has she and the rest of her litter been wormed?”

  The man nodded. “I bought this worming paste from Pets R Us—”

  Adam shook his head and tried not to melt the guy with a scathing look. “Do you know what kind, and for what internal parasites? Has she or the others had a fecal? And what about their boosters?”

  Those green eyes snapped with temper as the man planted his hands on his hips. “Wait just a fucking minute! Don’t get all snappy with me! You don’t know a thing about me, or these puppies or the dogs I rescue—”

  And that, Adam would reflect years later, was the inauspicious beginning of a friendship he’d never wanted but he treasured greatly.

  Chapter Four

  “I kinda think he’s a douche.” Gabe shrugged and flapped one hand as if shooing away a fly. “Cute as fuck, but still. Then again, it’s not like I’ve never jumped to a wrong conclusion before. I have been known to have almost fatal cases of foot-in-mouth disease. Probably I shouldn’t be so judgemental.”

  Todd grunted as Babs nipped his thumb. Puppy teeth had to be made out of freakin’

  razor blades—“He seemed okay to me. Maybe it’s just that he actually cares about animals, you know. Like you do. So he’s protective…like…”

  Gabe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. He’s almost as awesome as I am.” He laughed and picked Babs up, planting a noisy kiss on her head. “He fixed this beautiful little girl, so he can’t be a total monster. I still think he has douche tendencies, but eh, who doesn’t? Push our hot button and we go off.”

  “Some people have more buttons than tact,” Todd murmured, not really paying

  attention to what he was saying. He really wanted to know if Gabe thought Adam was gay or not, but there was the whole issue about Todd never admitting to being gay, and Gabe never asking him, and him not being able to act on it anyways so what’d it matter what parts Ad
am liked?

  Gabe thwacked him on the arm and glared as if he was the one who’d just been hit.

  “What kind of comeback was that?” He glared harder and pitched his voice to an annoying—

  more annoying—whine. “‘Some people have more buttons than tact.’ Really, Todd? You can do better than that!”

  “Not really.” He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the flower garden, but he wasn’t going to say that because Gabe had already lectured him several times about calling himself stupid.

  Todd wasn’t to even joke about his lagging IQ, at least not around Gabe. “Mind’s on work, I guess. Kaufman’s been a jerk—well, more of one. Found out he’s been giving my parents reports on who he sees me talkin’ to and whether he thinks I’m doing my job. Crap like that.”

  Gabe set Babs down and closed the gate, leaving her to play with her littermates. “You do realise that’s all kinds of illegal, right?”

  Todd nodded. “Yeah, but what am I gonna do? Go file a complaint? Get a lawyer?”

  Gabe cursed and huffed and generally made his unhappiness with those options

  known. Kaufman’s sister was the only attorney in town. “I’d say go to a paper in a big city, but they wouldn’t give a shit. So, I guess I’m just going to have to settle for making his life hell every chance I get.” Gabe got a look on his face that made Todd cringe. He knew that evil expression. Gabe was planning something devious. He was glad whatever it was

  wouldn’t be coming his way. “Y’all don’t have those dash cams, right?”