“Lets—” Adam was confused as hell. He rolled his head on Todd’s shoulder, trying to see him. Was Todd into being hit and—no, no he didn’t believe that.
“Lets,” Todd said. “I didn’t fight back, but I never have, not that I remember. And he’d kill me, I know he would, if he knew about me and you.”
Adam couldn’t help it, he jerked back then, feeling as if he’d been the one to receive the body blows. “You—you have a lover? A—what?” Adam hadn’t heard a peep about Todd
having anyone! How—
“No.” Todd stood up then and whipped the shirt off, and the sweet gentle man Adam
knew seemed to vanish beneath a stoic mask as Todd gestured at his bare torso. If it weren’t for the pain he saw in Todd’s eyes, Adam would have thought Todd was as unaffected by his bruises and the situation as he obviously wanted Adam to believe.
“This wasn’t from a lover,” Todd said bitterly. “I’ve never had anyone. This,” he
touched one of the bruises, “and this,” then he turned and Adam stumbled back, “are all from my parents. Mostly my father, but Mom had her hand in it a time or two.”
Adam grabbed onto the countertop behind him for support. The scars on Todd’s back
were numerous, and Adam’s eyes burned, then his vision blurred with unshed tears. He didn’t know what to say, and Todd just kept talking.
“I’ve never stood up to him, to them. I don’t think I can, most days.” Todd turned back around then, and Adam wanted to look away, not from disgust but because he was going to embarrass himself. Then he thought it didn’t matter. Why should he be ashamed if he couldn’t stop the tears from falling? Todd deserved to have someone give enough of a shit to cry for him.
“I b-better g-go.” Todd picked up his shirt and started to slide his arms in the sleeves. “I w-won’t come b-back around unless you n-need help with a rescue.”
Adam swiped at his cheeks and willed his legs to hold him up. He crossed back over to Todd and put one hand on his back, between his shoulder blades where a thick scar protruded. Todd went still as stone. “No. Stay. I don’t want you to go. I want… I want you, Todd.”
Then all he could do was wait for Todd to decide what he was going to do.
Chapter Ten
Todd turned around slowly, not wanting Adam to stop touching him. “I want…” His tongue felt thick and uncooperative, maybe because talking was one of the last things he wanted to be doing right now. He couldn’t keep his eyes off Adam’s lips, and it didn’t help that Adam was, even now, licking them as if he too wanted Todd to put his mouth to better use. What did he want? Todd couldn’t think past this very moment.
Adam’s eyelids drifted down as Todd leaned closer. He didn’t rush, taking his time and wanting to memorise every detail from the way Adam looked, his skin smooth and slightly tanned, his lips parted, glistening, to the sound of their breaths, the feel of Adam’s hand on the bare skin of his arm, the scent of the man…
By the time Todd pressed his mouth to Adam’s, he was dangerously on edge, his cock
hard and compressed uncomfortably by his jeans. Todd cupped the back of Adam’s head
with one hand and held Adam’s hip with the other, and, although he’d meant the kiss to be gentle, as soon as a soft sound bled from Adam’s mouth into his and Adam rubbed his
erection against Todd, need trumped any plans Todd had had.
Adam groaned and writhed in Todd’s arms, and Todd pulled the man in closer, almost
crushing Adam to him. He could feel the firm muscles beneath Adam’s clothes, the even harder dick prodding at his groin. His ribs ached and throbbed with a dull fiery pain, but Todd had been hurt worse before and could ignore the discomfort for the pleasure he was feeling.
Especially when he speared his tongue in and Adam sucked on it at the same time he found Todd’s dick. Todd bucked and his heart and breath stuttered when Adam rubbed his hand over Todd’s denim-encased length. Adam tipped his head down, ending the kiss as he pushed back enough to watch as he stroked Todd.
“Oh, man, I want…” Adam squeezed and Todd thrust and hissed. It sure never felt this good when he touched himself! “Just give me a second—”
“What—” Todd’s creaky voice startled him into shutting right back up. He tried to cling to Adam but Adam grabbed his hands.
“Just let me lock the door real quick.” Adam’s dark eyes burned with a desire that
matched the heat flaming inside Todd. He was both scared and thrilled at the possibilities of what locking the door meant. More thrilled than scared, though, because he’d quit trying to keep Adam from moving away.
Adam brushed his fingers over Todd’s dick and made an approving sort of murmur,
both of which left Todd jittery as a tight knot coiled in his groin. He needed so much, and he’d had years of telling himself he couldn’t, shouldn’t—even that it was wrong, until he’d found out Gabe was gay. Then he knew without a doubt it wasn’t wrong—but reconciling that belief to himself, applying it to himself, was much more difficult.
Adam turned back from the locked door and swept Todd with a gaze that ignited his
nerve endings, flooding him with even more arousal. He felt like he was ready to shatter from it, or incinerate, combust—something! Adam’s lips kicked up at the corners and he sauntered forwards in a way Todd would have envied had it not been so sexy. The slight shaking of Adam’s hands betrayed his cool act, though, and it somehow made Todd feel less afraid of whatever was coming next.
There had never, Adam felt certain, been a more important moment than when he’d
realised how hard he’d fallen for Todd. Except, maybe when Todd had kissed him with such want it’d melted every one of Adam’s defences. Or when Todd hadn’t wanted to let him go, or… No, the momentousness just kept building with each minute they spent together. Adam knew, he knew they should talk a few things out first at least, but, damn it, Todd was looking at him with such hunger, such yearning, how could he do anything but cross over to him and palm that thick length again?
“Ohhhh,” Todd gasped, spreading his legs and reaching back to clutch at the table.
“I—” He shook and gulped, and Adam dropped to his knees. He pressed his face to
Todd’s groin and looked up at him while he rubbed his cheek against Todd’s zipper.
Todd’s eyes were huge, his mouth slack, one hand behind him on the table and the other fisted and pressed to his chest, as if he were holding his heart in place. If Adam had doubted Todd’s innocence before, this moment would have obliterated those doubts. Todd was speechless, breathless—beautiful.
Adam worked the waistband open, and Todd’s abs rippled and clenched. He brushed his knuckles over the ridged muscles then reached for the placket of Todd’s jeans with both hands. Todd’s eyes were almost shut now, his breath faint, choppy measurements. Every few seconds he would shiver and unclench his fisted hand then close it again.
“Touch me,” Adam said as he watched Todd’s hand. “Please.”
The sound Todd made then, a need-drenched rasp that ended on a sob, was almost enough to undo Adam. He hurried to unfasten Todd’s jeans, sliding a hand down to scoop out Todd’s shaft almost before getting the zipper down. He needed to touch Todd, taste him, and embed himself in Todd’s mind and heart.
“Adam,” Todd squeaked as soon as Adam had him in hand. Adam took a last look—for
a little while, at least—at Todd’s expression, tight with want and awe and anticipation. Then he pushed at Todd’s jeans and freed his balls as well, and that was as long as he could make himself wait before tasting Todd.
Adam leant forward and rubbed his lips over Todd’s cockhead, brushing them back and forth to tease them both. Todd made a strangled sound and there, there was the touch Adam had asked for! Todd grabbed his shoulder, his thumb curling against Adam’s neck.
“Please, Adam—”
Adam licked at the wide slit and Todd hissed, thrusting eage
rly at Adam’s mouth.
Adam rolled Todd’s balls in his hand and felt them draw up. He opened up and sucked
Todd’s cap in, and Todd gave a muffled shout and bent over him, folding his arms around Adam’s back. It didn’t give him a lot of room to work in, what with the way Todd was pushing him forwards, but that was okay. Adam just hoped he hadn’t developed a gag reflex in all the months he’d not been sucking cock.
He bobbed down and promptly gagged. Pulling back, his eyes watering and the urge to
cough almost overwhelming, Adam took a moment to get his act together. The need to
please Todd, to blow his mind, was pressing, but Adam knew he needed to relax or he’d never get Todd’s shaft in as deep as he wanted.
Adam massaged Todd’s sac and began sucking Todd’s length back in, slower this time,
while holding onto Todd’s hip with his other hand. Eager sounds fell from Todd’s lips, and they spurred Adam on, strengthened his determination to give them both what they wanted.
He inhaled deeply through his nose then took Todd in steadily, until finally the head breached Adam’s throat.
Todd went utterly still and moaned. Adam swallowed then backed off, and Todd stood upright. He ran his hands up Adam’s back, to his shoulders and neck, then cupped Adam’s jaws.
“Jesus, Adam, I—have to—” Todd thumbed Adam’s cheekbones as Adam sucked harder. “Damn!”
Adam flicked his tongue down Todd’s length and pulled on Todd’s hip, ready to let him thrust. Todd did, sucking in a noisy breath then holding Adam’s face tighter as he began pumping into Adam’s mouth.
Adam kept one hand on Todd’s balls, although he teased the soft skin behind them when he could, and he used his other hand to finally grab a firm ass cheek and squeeze.
Adam could feel the coating of fuzz on Todd’s butt, and he wanted to see if it was the same pale red-gold as his chest hair. Oh hell, Adam wanted to lick every inch of Todd’s ass, but that’d have to wait. Besides, he was a bit busy right then.
Todd’s thrusting increased, both in speed and force, and Adam quit thinking about anything besides the thick cock invading his mouth. He sealed his lips tight and applied pressure with his tongue, his throat, anywhere he could, and Todd grunted, burying his dick deep for a second before Adam jerked back. Tangy cum spurted from Todd’s length and
Adam swallowed eagerly. His own cock was so hard it hurt to move, but Adam had to stand up before his knees locked up. The cement floor was definitely not comfortable for such things.
Adam stood, Todd holding onto him loosely still. He took in Todd’s debauched appearance, his pants open, softening cock and his balls hanging out, the thick golden curls that lead to the treasure trail and on up to crinkly chest hair. Todd’s torso and neck were flushed, a rosy pink that was splotchy but looked good on Todd’s pale skin. His eyes were still shut, his breath still stuttering, lips parted and—
And Adam leaned in to kiss him, wanting to touch Todd everywhere. Todd melted against him, and Adam pressed in closer, his own arousal scorching him. Still kissing Todd, he unfastened his pants enough to get at his cock, then he grabbed Todd’s hand and pushed it towards his dick. He thought he might have to beg or prod or something, not just because of Todd’s inexperience, but because he was climaxed out, but no. Todd grabbed onto him eagerly, tensing with—Adam hoped—excitement.
“You feel…” Todd squeezed and gave Adam’s cock a pump. “Good. I want—” Todd nudged him back a half step and looked down. “God, Adam! Look at us!” Todd’s voice was quiet but strong nonetheless. He flicked a glance up at Adam and gave a crooked smile.
“You’re bigger.”
Adam snorted and cupped his hand over Todd’s. “I’m about ready to fucking explode.”
“Can’t have that,” Todd murmured, then he began a slow, tight rhythm that threatened to drive Adam out of his mind.
Adam bit his tongue to keep from demanding more—he wanted Todd to have this, to enjoy it as much or almost as much as Adam would—but ended up making the most embarrassing whimpering sound when he tried to keep from begging for harder, faster, please!
Instead he hefted a leg up and grabbed the back of Todd’s head. He brought his lips to Todd’s and kissed him with all the desperation that was coursing through him.
Todd moaned into the kiss and his hand stilled for a second. Adam grunted and jerked his hips, and Todd blew Adam’s mind with a sharp twist of the wrist. Adam threw his head back and it took every last shred of control he had not to bellow as he came, shaking and panting, curling his fingers as he held tight to Todd.
“Ah,” Todd sighed, as if he’d just found completion while he rubbed Adam’s cum over
his dick. Todd made the sound again, then Adam was tugged forwards and slammed against Todd’s body as Todd held him.
And Adam held him in return, and tried not to worry about what would happen next.
Todd obviously had some very, very bad shit happening in his life, and Adam would have to think about that, about being involved with a man who still— But not right now, not when Todd was holding him, shivering in his arms and sounding suspiciously like he might be crying. Adam would wait to worry and contemplate the risks he was taking, wait to examine facts that were very disturbing, frightening, even.
Right now he just wanted this time with Todd, and he’d take it before he let himself freak the hell out later.
Chapter Eleven
Todd’s life had been dramatically altered in those few moments he and Adam had shared—then Jade had banged on the surgery room door. She’d scared ten years off him and Adam, too, judging by the way Adam had actually jumped and squeaked like a mouse. It was cute, but they’d had to part too quickly, no time for more than a ‘See ya’ when Jade told Adam there was an emergency coming in.
Todd didn’t even realise he’d made it outside to his vehicle until he was standing right there by it. He’d been too busy trying to sort out what he felt—hard to do when every single second he’d just spent with Adam kept slamming around inside his head. He couldn’t concentrate on a single thing. One second he’d see Adam down there on his knees, and the next he was kissing Adam, touching him—
Well, he needed to get his crap together before he drove himself off a cliff. Todd snorted. He’d have to drive a hell of a long way to find a cliff. This part of Texas was on the flat side. Todd shook his head and got in his car. He saw Sheriff Kaufman go by and a chill raced down his spine. Had the sheriff seen him? Why hadn’t Todd thought to park around back? What excuse could he use if confronted about being here?
Todd kept his foot on the brake as he banged his head against the steering wheel. Jesus, he was an adult, not a kid! Had been for years, and he couldn’t even keep himself from panicking at the idea of being seen here?
He was pathetic, that was what he was. Maybe his parents were right. He didn’t have
much of a backbone, had no ambitions, really—it didn’t matter that he’d been too scared to dream for himself when he’d been younger. Now he didn’t know how to.
Why would Adam want someone like him? Surely he deserved better than a screwed-up moron who was still a punching bag for his old man. Adam… Adam had probably just felt sorry for him. Really, why else would he have touched Todd?
Don’t go putting words in the man’s mouth. You don’t know why he did anything, so don’t go thinking you do! Todd lifted his head up and checked for traffic, then pulled out and headed towards his place. He kind of liked that little voice that had just harped at him, because it was right. He didn’t know why Adam had done what he’d done, and he wouldn’t until they could talk. It’d be plumb stupid to go jumping fences blind and not knowing what was on the other side. Any cowboy knew better than that.
Todd realised, once he’d got home, that he’d forgotten to pass along Gabe’s message.
Not yet ready to talk to Adam, and figuring he was probably still busy with whatever emergency had been on its way in, Todd settled
for leaving him a message. Then he
showered and called Gabe, and his concerns for his own sorry state were dampened because Gabe sounded…off, somehow. Todd would make it a point to go out and check on him as soon as possible.
It was like someone had dumped crack in the town’s water supply. Todd had been so
busy, he’d actually worked a couple of double shifts. He hadn’t heard from Adam, but, then again, he hadn’t called Adam either. Or stopped in.
Until today, and what a surprise that’d been. First Gabe, with a…a boyfriend he
claimed to have known for a while—which was really suspicious to Todd, but what did he know? Still, he thought Gabe had probably met him in one of those chat rooms or something.
No way had Gabe known the guy for long, at all. Todd was going to do some digging on that Mika character.
Adam had looked at Mika. Looked at him, like…like that! Todd had checked the guy out, too, though… But he was being stupid, and he knew it. The weird vibe between him and Adam had been strong and scary and Todd hadn’t known what to do to make things right.
He hadn’t deliberately ignored Adam—he’d been busy as hell. What was Adam’s excuse?
No judging, Todd scolded himself. That was how people made total idiots of
themselves. And his parents were so judgemental, he didn’t want to be like them at all. But Todd hadn’t got the chance to talk to Adam alone at the clinic. It’d been obvious Gabe and…and Mika were going to be there for a while, and Todd was on his shift. And he
wanted to do some checking on Mika, if he could, without Kaufman getting wind of it. He and Adam needed to talk, though, soon. It seemed clear to Todd that Adam thought he’d just dissed him, which hadn’t been the case. Todd was willing to give Adam the benefit of the doubt for not calling him, so he sure wished Adam would do the same.
And there he was, deciding he knew what Adam was thinking, in a way. Well, he didn’t. For all he knew, Adam could have been just as busy, or he could have had company or something. Todd thought he had his head on straight by the time he finally got off shift.
Resilience Page 6
