“Does he suspect anything?”
I fiddled with the brush and looked to the window onto the forest outside. If he has returned to himself, then we will only need to bide our time until the day of the solstice. I’ll free him from the specter at last. I dared not tell Elenna my thoughts for fear she would realize where I had been in truth.
“We will find out soon enough,” I replied with a smile.
We went downstairs to break our fast. The men were already awaiting us. The servants had prepared sausage, boiled eggs and fresh-baked bread. The sight of it made my mouth water. Johai was absent, which gave me pause. Aland sat at the right hand of Duke Wodell, and the two of them were conferring in low tones. When Elenna and I entered the dining room, they both stood up.
Duke Wodell smiled at me as he greeted me good morning. But otherwise he made no acknowledgement of our secret meeting from the night previous. I took a seat near him, and I was given a platter of food. I was eating still when Johai emerged from a door at the back of the hall. He was handsome in a doublet of silver and black. His white hair was brushed and braided. He swept into the room without a glance in my direction. It stung. He’s just playing the game, to keep Aland from suspecting he’s changed.
I stood up to greet him, but as he approached, I saw the hard press of his lips. No. He took a seat across from me, beside Aland. He gave the servant a clipped command before turning to face me. His eyes were black chips of onyx set into his pale face. My Johai is gone, trapped once more behind the specter. I had been a fool to hope for anything more.
“Good morning, Maea, I hope you slept well.”
My stomach twisted, and the food lost its appeal. I pushed my plate away. He knows what Johai and I did last night, or was that all a deception meant to bring me to his bed? Will I fall even deeper into his spell?
Under the table, Elenna squeezed my hand, reminding me to respond to Johai’s greeting.
“I slept well enough, thank you,” I replied, my tone flat.
“I’m glad to hear it.” His lips curled in a smirk.
I let my gaze fall to the table once more. Elenna took her time eating. She chatted with Aland in the Biski tongue. Both of them switched to Danhadine at times, and I caught one word in perhaps ten. I let everything wash over me. What a fool I am. I fell right into his trap. When the breakfast things were cleared away, Duke Wodell asked us to join him in his library.
We seated ourselves around the room. I kept my distance from Johai, ashamed by my mistake from the night before. He for the most part ignored me, instead focusing on the duke and Aland. He has had all he wants from me. Maybe now he will trust me enough; it will make the task easier, in the end. Maybe the real Johai is lost. I studied the books upon Duke Wodell’s shelves. He had an impressive array. They were well cared for, and the shelves themselves were clear of dust and clutter.
Beau had joined us for the meeting, at the duke’s behest. Aland also had a few of his men with him. The wild Biski seemed out of place among the polished furniture and embroidered rugs upon the floor. They shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I knew Elenna had mentioned a discomfort being locked within stone walls. I could only assume her people shared her sentiment.
“I understand you have some terms you would have me hear?” Duke Wodell addressed Johai.
“Yes, as you know, we are in need of men to join with our numbers. King Adair has provisioned you with an impressive force. Since the threat from the south shall no longer be a concern, we hope you will be generous with your allowances to us.” Johai smiled; he had already assumed Duke Wodell would agree.
The duke stroked his beard and looked at Johai. I watched him, knowing the outcome before it was settled. He knows the truth, but he cannot show it. He will have to agree or risk exposing the lies, but it also means sending his men to their deaths.
“I would keep some force here. Though we will sign a treaty with the Stone Clan, that does not mean other clans might not take up arms against this keep.”
Johai inclined his head. “Very well, I am glad you are willing to assist, in any way you can.”
The duke nodded. His gaze flicked in my direction for a brief moment. My heart stopped. Johai looked over at me. I acted indifferent, looking out the window and at the books on the shelves. He seemed fooled by my deception, and he turned back to the duke.
“There is one more thing I would ask of you,” Johai said.
The duke sat forward a little straighter in his chair. “Yes?”
“I want you to take Maea to Keisan. War is dangerous, and I would not have her caught in the middle. She is very… precious to me.”
He looked over to me, and his gaze lingered on me for longer than I was comfortable with. He was gloating in his triumph, I assumed. He thinks he owns me in body and soul, but I will have the last laugh. You will give Johai his body back, mark my words.
“If you want to keep her safe, you would do better to send her anywhere other than Keisan,” the duke said, and I had no doubt that his anger was not feigned. He still did not agree with sending me to Keisan. “She was convicted a traitor, and should she return there, the king may demand her head.”
Johai pressed his fingertips together and regarded the duke over them. “Do not worry about that, Mikell. The king will not kill Maea, you have my word.”
The duke regarded Johai for a moment. I could see him wanting to protest, he even opened his mouth to do so, but in the end he nodded and said, “As you wish, I will bring her to Keisan. But let it fall on your head if any ill comes to her.”
Johai looked to me. “I have no doubt Maea will be safest at Keisan.”
What is he not telling me? It was my plan to go to Keisan and become the spy, but I had not figured out how to get past Adair. It seemed Johai had some plan in mind that I was not yet privy to. It seems he is always three steps ahead of me. The meeting was adjourned after plans were made for travel and the numbers were hashed out that would be joining Aland’s force.
When we were exiting the library, Johai grabbed me by the shoulder and held me back as the others filed out. I watched them go, even Beau, who tried to linger only to be shooed away by Johai with an impatient wave of his hand. The door closed with a thud, and I felt my heart leap into my throat. Johai let go of my shoulder and paced away from me.
“Everything is prepared, but are you, little diviner?” he said.
“Yes. I’ll tell Adair whatever you wish, but how do I know he will trust me?”
He smiled. “Don’t worry on that count. I have prepared the way for you.” He grabbed my chin and tilted my head back with his finger so I was forced to look into his black eyes. “When I take Keisan, I hope you will come to my bed, as is my right. I can be patient, but a man can only wait so long for what he desires.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. I felt a wave of revulsion. It was a sick and pale shadow of the kisses I had shared with Johai. Then it struck me. Last night, it was the real Johai, and the specter knows nothing. I wanted to cry for joy but kept my emotion in check. This would be my secret; the specter could not know. I promise, Johai. I will free you, soon.
Chapter Fourteen
We left Blackthorn a fortnight later. The duke, my father, kept me at a distance so as to not reveal our relationship. None but Elenna, Beau and me knew the truth. It was a small mercy. The night I shared with Johai would be a secret I kept to myself, as well. Though I think Elenna knew. She did not say anything in so many words, but her secret smile spoke volumes. As the day to leave Blackthorn drew closer, I felt my destiny weighing heavy upon my shoulders. Elenna was also withdrawn. Most days she slipped out into the forest and would be gone from dawn until dusk. When I asked her what she was doing, she would smile and avoid the question. The day we left, the sky was gray and threatened rain. I was wrapped in a fur cloak and shivering despite it. I had awoken with a vague nauseous feeling that I blamed on my nerves. I am heading to my death, I thought as I dressed that morning. I took comfor
t in knowing that my life would save many and Johai would be free at last.
Aland and Johai were mounted by the time I reached the courtyard. Duke Wodell was saying his good-byes. He was wearing his travelling cloak. It was sable, trimmed in fur, and pinned together with a bronze clasp shaped like a tangle of thorns. Aland, Johai, and the remainder of the Stone Clan would be heading northwest, under the pretense of going to meet Neaux in battle. In truth, they were to join the two halves of the Stone Clan together along with the Neaux army. Duke Wodell had assigned several hundred men-at-arms to join the Stone Clan. Each one was handpicked and loyal to the duke. I am sending those men to their deaths, I thought as I looked upon their faces. I had wanted to stop the war, but it was moving faster than I could hope to keep up. The best I could do was to keep the casualties to a minimum. The sooner the specter is destroyed, the sooner this war ends. Winter was moving apace and soon would come spring and, with it, the day of promise when the moon swallowed the sun.
The wind was whipping through the trees and howling against the stone walls of Blackthorn as we waited in the courtyard, making our good-byes. Johai came over to me. I looked up at him in the saddle. He smiled down at me as he reached out to brush a hair from my cheek. I shivered; even now I felt the pull to him.
“We will be parted for a time, but I will see you again soon.”
I bowed my head. I will see you next when I bring you to the underworld. I looked up at him and smiled. “I will await our next meeting with great anticipation.”
He smirked, then wheeled his mount around. “We must ride. We have a long journey ahead of us.”
Aland shouted to his clansmen, and the group thundered out of the courtyard. The hoofbeats of horses seemed to echo for a few moments even after they had left. My stomach twisted, and I thought the little breakfast I had eaten would come back up. I can do this. I will not look back. I will look only forward. My own party departed with less fanfare shortly after. We were two dozen all told. The duke brought a few servants and a handful of men-at-arms. The forest was dark and seemed to press down upon us as we made our way through it. The duke’s men knew their way, and they led us down a myriad of animal trails and along brooks.
The sun was setting by the time we were clear of the thickest parts of the forest. We made it to a roadside inn, where the duke paid for a room for me and Elenna to share and one for himself. Beau and the other men-at-arms set up tents outside. I had grown accustomed to hard riding and long travelling during my time with the Biski, but that night I found I was very weary. My stomach still troubled me, and I only pushed chunks of vegetables about in the stew the innkeeper served us. I excused myself to sleep, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, unconsciousness took me. The following days fell in the same succession, though I found I was more tired than before, and my nausea did not subside. In fact, by the second week upon the road, I woke with vomiting. The duke ordered a rest for me to recover. I lay in bed most of the day, only getting up to vomit in the chamber pot. Elenna stayed with me, giving me herbal brews to ease my suffering. We were three days at the roadside inn when I began to become concerned. Other than the nausea and vomiting, I had no other symptoms.
“I fear there is something wrong,” I told Elenna on the third evening as I returned from emptying my stomach.
“Or perhaps there is something you are afraid to admit to yourself,” Elenna replied.
I gave her a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
She patted the bed, encouraging me to sit down beside her. I did as she bid, and when I sat down, she gathered my hands in hers. “Tell me, the first night in Blackthorn, did you go to Johai?”
I flushed to think of that one perfect night. “I did.”
“And did you lay with him?”
I pulled my hands from her grip and jumped to my feet. This proved to be a mistake. I had a wave of dizziness, which triggered the nausea. I ran for the chamber pot and retched once again. Elenna had not moved as I sat back down, my haunches trembling. She was waiting for an answer, one that I was afraid to reveal. I have been sick for longer than these past three days. My grandmother taught me how to treat these same symptoms, but it cannot be true. My death is the only way to save Johai.
“I do not know why that would be any of your concern.” My hands were trembling, and I balled my fingers in the fabric of my gown.
Elenna’s laughter rang like the tinkling of bells across the room of the inn. I scowled at her.
“It may not be any of my concern, but it was me who woke the true Johai from his slumber and altered the spell so he could see you, if only for an evening.” She gave me a secretive smile. It was true that Elenna had locked Johai deep within the specter, but did she truly have the power to bring him forth at will? Why did she not help him instead of playing games?
I was so angry all I could manage to say was, “Why?”
“Because the prophecy demands it. You are bound to him, and in order to destroy the specter, I had to strengthen that bond between you.”
I unclenched my fists and took a deep breath. “Do you realize what you have done? In order to free Johai from the specter, I have to die! My life will pay for his, only then can I bring the specter beyond the veil.” Tears pricked my lashes, but I held them back. “If you could control the specter, then why did you not do so from the start?”
Elenna did not flinch beneath my tirade. She regarded me serenely, her hands folded in her lap. “The specter wants you to believe he is beyond human needs, but even he must sleep. He does so rarely and only when he thinks none can harm him. He is suspicious of everyone, even you, who he believes is under his spell. I put him under a sleeping spell and woke Johai. It was difficult to do and something that could only be done once, for one purpose. The specter remembers nothing of that night or what you and the real Johai have made together.”
I touched my stomach. No, it cannot be. “You cannot know I am with child. It is very likely that I am not! This may be some passing illness…”
Elenna stood up and came to kneel beside me on the floor. “You are, Maea. The child grows inside you, yours and Johai’s.”
I shook my head hard enough to make the room spin. This is not how it was supposed to happen. You have doomed both me and my unborn child. The day coming is not far, long before I could bring this child to life safely. I stood up and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a candlestick, and threw it. The candlestick collided with the wall with a satisfying thunk. It did not ease the despair that was billowing up inside me. I had resigned myself to my fate. Why tease me with something I can never have? I rubbed my stomach once again. The future I wanted is growing within me, the future I can never have.
“Why would you damn this child?” I shouted. “I am destined to die, don’t you understand? I was the last of my line. I am to break the circle by ending the line of diviners.”
“There is hope yet.”
Tears were still falling down my cheeks. I brushed them away with an impatient hand. What hope is there left? One night, one mistake, and I destroyed the one chance of saving Johai. How can I die for Johai while I am creating new life within me?
“How do you know? You cannot see into the future as I can.” My words were bitter. I would be glad for her to leave me with my grief. She did not leave me. She stayed by my side, patient and calm.
“I may not have your gifts, but I am of your blood, Maea. I had a vision of your daughter, and she will be beautiful and powerful.” Elenna put an arm around my shoulder.
I leaned against her, unwilling to be angry any longer. She did not know. I should have told her. Perhaps she thought she was helping. It was my fault for giving in to the desires of my body.
“Now listen to me, Maea. I have not done this for you alone. I knew you would try to give your life to save Johai, but your child is too important for you to do that. I have a plan.”
I glanced up at her through the tears in my eyes. “You knew?”
She nodded. “Yes.
I have known since the day I met you and before.” I opened my mouth to question her, but she shushed me. “In order to destroy the specter, we must kill the host.”
“I cannot—” I began to protest.
“Johai will live. You have my word upon that. On the day the moon swallows the sun, the barrier between the world of the living and the world of the spirits is at its thinnest, and during this time, the specter can take on another host. We must convince someone to become his new host, and once he has taken that body, you must kill them.”
My skin prickled. The idea of killing someone sent my stomach twisting, but I had known that was the truth. It had always been the only way.
“How can we transfer the host?”
“We have to get to the Sea Chamber and perform the summoning using the blood of the proposed host.”
It sounded easy enough, though I suspected it was more complicated than Elenna made it seem. “Who would be the new host? Who would be willing to make that sacrifice?”
Elenna’s smile faltered for but a moment. “Do you remember in Sanore, Arlene had conceded that if King Adair were no longer king, it could bring an end to the war?”
I gasped. “You do not mean…”
“We will make Adair the new host, and once the specter is within him, he will die.”
I looked at the walls, expecting to see someone watching or listening. No one was near, but who knew if someone could hear through the walls or might be listening at the keyhole. This is madness. I may hate Adair for what he had done to me, but I was not sure if I could kill him with my own hand. I had been accused of treason and murder before; even if we somehow succeeded, the Danhadines would have me beheaded for his murder. Am I really to choose between the man I love and the man who betrayed me?
“Think on it,” Elenna said. “When the day comes, one of them must die, and it will be up to you to choose.”
[fan] diviners trilogy - complete series Page 75
