The Vampire Shrink kk-1

by Lynda Hilburn

  A little energy rush charged through my body. ‘You talked to Devereux?’

  As Alan started to answer, the doorbell rang. I walked over and peered through the peephole to make sure the visitor was welcome company. It was more than welcome. It was food – police-escorted food. I cracked the door, and was slammed by a wall of noise as hordes of reporters shouted questions from the road. I quickly handed over enough money to cover the bill plus a generous tip and reached out to grab the bag. I offered my thanks, then closed and relocked the door. I carried the large sack of Chinese food to the kitchen table.

  ‘Do you want to wait on the rest of the story until you’ve eaten, or can you continue?’ Alan asked.

  The smell of the food was driving me mad and I moved around the kitchen in a blur, gathering plates, glasses and utensils. ‘I’ll bet I can eat and talk at the same time. Wow. You ordered lots.’

  ‘Oh, did you want something, too?’ He laughed.

  ‘Very funny.’

  I opened a new bottle of wine and poured some into each of our glasses, then we sat at the table and dived into the feast. Neither of us gained any points for table manners during the meal. The food was glorious and we ate with silent enthusiasm for a few minutes. There’s nothing like stress and hunger to cause us to revisit our primitive roots.

  For some reason I suddenly thought about the fact that vampires didn’t eat food. I wouldn’t ever be sitting at the table sharing a meal with Devereux. At least not any meal I could force myself to contemplate. Unless, of course, we’d all gone mad or there were hallucinogens in the water supply, and none of this had really happened.

  I paused in the food-shovelling process and sipped my wine. ‘You spoke to Devereux? What did you talk about?’

  Alan had already cleaned up his first helping and was reaching for reinforcements.

  ‘It was strange, actually. He was in the middle of telling me about his long-standing rivalry with Bryce and all of a sudden he stopped talking and closed his eyes. Then he said, “She is gone – he has taken her.” I started to ask who was gone, and who “he” was, but before I could get the words out, Devereux vanished.’

  ‘You mean he left the room?’ I claimed seconds on the egg rolls.

  ‘No. He literally vanished. Vampires aren’t bound by the same limitations of time and space as we humans are. They can move through both with just a thought.’

  ‘I don’t understand what you mean. Physical matter has certain unarguable limitations – flesh-and-blood bodies can’t just disappear from one place and rearrange their molecules in another. We haven’t caught up with Star Trek yet.’ Although I had seen Devereux and Bryce levitating. That was definitely strange.

  Alan polished off his second helping and went for the championship round, adding an impressive third layer to the sustenance already on its way down to his deceptively flat stomach.

  ‘Devereux would say there are limitations if you believe there are. But I’ve seen him vanish and reappear so many times that I don’t have any problem accepting that vampires can travel by thought, not only in this dimension but in all the others.’

  I pushed my plate away, finally satiated.

  ‘Other dimensions? You know, every time we talk your stories get weirder and weirder. Are you going to tell me next that the vampires are really aliens, preparing to take over the Earth? Or maybe they’re controlling us with their minds, and we’ll be herded into holding pens – walking blood receptacles – to wait for an impending undead feeding frenzy?’

  ‘No.’ He chuckled. ‘I’m not going to tell you any of that, but you have to admit they’d be interesting hypotheses to pursue. I’ll make a note of them. Shall I continue telling you about Devereux, or would you rather make fun of my proclivities?’

  ‘Oh, by all means, please continue.’ I raised my wineglass in his direction.

  ‘Anyway, after he vanished I went back upstairs and then outside, looking for you. Of course, you weren’t there, but I found Devereux leaning against the building about a half-block down from the entrance to the club. He was just standing there with his eyes closed and when I approached he said, “The one who has her is not only evil, but he is also insane. His mind is splintered and he is more animal than vampire.”’ Alan had altered his voice, imitating Devereux’s accent and unique speech patterns. ‘At that point I still didn’t even know who he was talking about. He said, “I am linked with her mind so I should be able to sense her, but he has done something to mask her energy signature. He has overwhelmed her mind with his and is keeping us from communicating with each other. I have met few others powerful enough to do that. She is in great danger. She must be found.”’

  I appreciated his clever Devereux impersonation and shook my head. ‘You actually remember what he said, word for word? That’s quite the memory you have there, Special Agent Stevens.’

  ‘Yes, it does come in handy. I have the auditory equivalent of a photographic memory. Remember that in case you tell me something and then say you didn’t.’

  ‘Okay.’ I reached out and patted his arm. ‘I’ll remember that. Then what happened?’

  We returned to the living room and reestablished ourselves on the couch.

  He cleared his throat. ‘A whole lot of nothing. Devereux vanished again and I went back into the club to search for you. I still thought you were in there somewhere. Just so you know, I kept an eye out for Tom too, but I never saw him. I ran into Devereux’s personal assistant, a snarly vamp named Luna, and I asked if she’d seen you. She said she couldn’t believe so many people were interested in one ordinary human and that Devereux was so beside himself that you’d been taken. That was the first time I realised they were talking about you.’

  ‘I’m surprised Luna even deigned to acknowledge my existence.’

  ‘She is a charmer.’ He reached over and stroked my leg. ‘I didn’t want to believe you were missing – I’m stubborn that way – so I kept looking in the club and giving people your description and asking if they’d seen you. Finally, I drove back to the cop shop to see if there’d been any reports. I knew they wouldn’t put out a missing-person report that soon, but I was rattling cages as much as I could. Turns out I didn’t need to. A couple of hours later, the chief showed up in person and ordered that you be made top priority. All available units went out on the street, searching for you, then they alerted the media. I’ve never seen anything like it before. I still don’t know what happened to get the chief riled up.’

  ‘I was told Devereux called the chief.’

  ‘Devereux? What would Devereux have to do with the police chief—?’ He paused. ‘Of course – I should’ve remembered. So much for my famous tape-recorder memory, eh? During one of our discussions, Devereux told me he’d used his ability to control minds to create relationships with several powerful people in town, people who could “smooth away any difficulties”, as he put it.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘It makes perfect sense now. He simply called the chief, suggested he rally the troops and that’s all it took. No one would question it, and the chief would always think it was his own idea. Ingenious, really.’

  ‘Are you saying Devereux used mind control on the police chief?’

  ‘Yep. The chief and a few other highly placed cops.’

  ‘Doesn’t it bother you that Devereux manipulated the police? What if he uses mind control on you?’

  He grinned. ‘I have a healthy respect for his abilities – he’s the most powerful vampire I’ve ever run across. It might be worth it to let him take over my mind for a little while, just to see how that feels. You have to admit, it got the job done. The cops found you.’

  ‘Actually, I found the cops. But I’ll have to thank Devereux the next time I see him.’

  And why does thinking about seeing him feel good and bad at the same time?

  ‘Okay, stop stalling. Tell me what happened to you last night.’

  I rearranged myself on the cushions. ‘I’m not stalli
ng.’ Yes, I am. ‘There really isn’t much to tell. I went outside to wait for Tom – or you – and walked down the block and rested against the building. I suddenly had an overwhelming bad feeling, instant terror, and heard a grotesque voice calling me. I couldn’t tell if the voice was coming from outside of me or inside my mind. It was like fingernails on the blackboard from hell times a thousand. The voice kept telling me to come to it. I remember thinking I just needed to stay where I was and everything would be fine. That I could just ignore it. That’s the last thing I recall until I woke up this morning in the cemetery.’

  I told him everything about the mausoleum, the coffin I’d awakened in, the dead bodies, and my encounter with the police. He sat silently while I spoke, shaking his head.

  ‘I’ve had some horrible experiences since I joined the FBI, but none of them comes close to being worse than what you just told me. Now I’m really sorry I was such an asshole when you came home.’

  ‘Apology accepted. We were both stressed out. I’m glad it’s over. Well, except for the media fallout. I guess I can’t avoid it any longer. Go ahead and tell me – how bad is it? What did they say about me on TV?’

  ‘Pretty much what you’d expect.’ He grinned. ‘They played up all the occult aspects and continually referred to you as the Vampire Psychologist, with accompanying snickers. I think you’ll have to make a statement when you feel up to it – they’re not going away until you talk to them. I imagine this isn’t the direction you envisioned your career moving?’

  ‘No,’ I said, frowning. ‘I guess I’m a laughingstock now.’

  He stared at me for a few seconds. ‘I’m going to borrow your therapist hat for a moment and mention something you’re working hard to ignore. You’ve been through a lot of bad shit in a short period of time and you’re probably still in shock. It’s okay for you to admit you’re not doing very well, if that’s true. What would you tell a client who was trying to keep a stiff upper lip in the face of so much insanity?’

  I heaved a heavy sigh and my shoulders sagged. ‘I’d say it was only delaying the inevitable.’ I sat silently, studying his concerned expression. My vision swam as tears gathered in my eyes. ‘It was horrible. I was so afraid when I woke up in that terrible place this morning. I’m still afraid. Not remembering what happened makes me doubt myself. Everything has been out of control for days. I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t know what’s real—’

  Alan reached for me. Suddenly there was a popping sound accompanied by a slight breeze, and Devereux materialised in the middle of my living room.

  CHAPTER 15

  ‘Kismet!’

  I sat up straight, blinked to clear the tears from my eyes, and snapped my attention to Devereux. What the hell? How’d he get here? And holy shit – would you look at him?

  Instead of his usual tight leather, Devereux was decked out in a luscious charcoal-grey suit and a magnificent turquoise silk shirt. The colour of the silk made his eyes appear even more spectacularly kaleidoscopic than usual. His hair shone like liquid moonlight. He could’ve stepped right out of the pages of a European high fashion men’s magazine.

  Since I had no idea what he actually did with his time, I couldn’t begin to imagine where he’d been, spiffed up like that. I felt a brief twinge of jealousy at the thought of him dressing up for a woman. Maybe his assistant, Luna, or one of the other perfect female specimens he had working for him at The Crypt.

  But who was I to be jealous when I’d spent part of the afternoon taking a shower and playing ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with a fixated, well-endowed FBI agent?

  Devereux glided over to me, swung me up off the couch with his arms around my waist, and kissed me thoroughly. Then kissed me again.

  I was stunned but apparently willing, because I looped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Interesting to discover this entirely new set of instinctual behaviours I appeared to have acquired regarding Devereux.

  I’ve lost my mind. I’ve never behaved this way with anyone.

  He pulled back slightly, slid his lips close to my ear and whispered, ‘I have never felt so helpless as when I could not find you. There would have been no end to my vengeance had you been harmed.’

  My own personal avenging angel. He looks like a god but talks like a character from a historical romance novel. I can sure pick ’em.

  ‘Are you well? Did the dark one harm you?’

  ‘Uh . . .’

  There it is again – that brain-melt thing that happens to me whenever I’m within ten feet of Devereux.

  Alan leaped up from the couch, his face a mixture of confusion and outrage. ‘Hey! Devereux! What’s going on here? What are you doing?’

  Despite the fact that it was difficult to appear threatening while wearing short pink sweatsuit bottoms and a decidedly feminist T-shirt, Alan managed to gather up sufficient testosterone to get his point across.

  Apparently, Devereux wasn’t interested in butting heads with anyone. He lifted me up into his arms, then glanced over at Alan and whispered gently in that amazing voice, ‘You are tired, my friend. Lie down on the couch and sleep now.’

  Damned if Alan didn’t do just that.

  He arranged himself into a foetal position, made a few soft snorting sounds and drifted off, smiling.

  Wow. That’s impressive. And disturbing. Shouldn’t I be putting up some kind of fuss? Should I worry about getting used to being carried around like this?

  Devereux refocused on me. ‘You must come with me now.’

  ‘I must?’

  There was a swoosh of air, a sound reminiscent of the crackle of electricity and we were suddenly standing in the middle of Devereux’s private room underneath The Crypt.

  He released me and I stood, head spinning, stomach churning, trying to make sense of something that was impossible to make sense of. Whatever had just happened definitely messed with my equilibrium. I wasn’t sure my legs were up to their usual task of keeping me vertical.

  ‘Please, come and sit. You do not look well.’ Devereux fetched a small chair, pushed it gently against the back of my knees and I sat. I scanned the room, recognising all the paintings on the walls, the art supplies and the stash of bottles and strange artefacts on the table.

  As I perched there, trying to reclaim my balance, I became more and more annoyed. The journey through Devereux’s invisible transporter – or whatever it was he’d used to get me from where I had been to where I was – had definitely rained on the good feelings that kissing him had inspired in me, and I was royally steamed. Not to mention extremely tired of finding myself in locations chosen for me by some male or another without my consent. Something in my brain snapped.

  No. That’s it! No more manipulating me and jerking me around.

  I vaulted up from the chair with the fury of a woman pissed off, shaking with rage, and got right in Devereux’s face. All the anger that had been repressed during the previous hours burst out like a five-alarm fire as I yelled at him, ‘I don’t want to sit. I don’t want to be here. You had no right to bring me here. I didn’t tell you to snatch me. I’m tired. I want to be in my own house, in my own bed, away from all your bullshit!’ I punched his stomach with my fist, and then, outrageously shocked at myself, retreated a couple of steps. Definitely a case of temporary insanity.

  He gasped and bent forwards slightly. He stared at me, shocked, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide, eyebrows creeping up towards his hairline. ‘Well.’ He straightened, recovering his poise, and grinned at me. ‘I wondered when you would let your feelings out. I am glad you have chosen to share them with me.’

  I gave him a hard frown. I didn’t appreciate his apparent enjoyment of my outburst. In fact, he was acting downright superior about it, as if he’d arranged it.

  With that, the last remaining fragment of the dam burst. ‘Share them with you?’ I screamed. ‘I’ll show you how I’ll share them with you, you pompous bastard!’

  I had no idea how, but I ma
naged to fling myself on him – flying through the air, as it were – my hands out in front of me, grasping towards his neck. It didn’t occur to me that attacking a vampire might have bigger ramifications than I’d anticipated. There was still some part of me that continued to have a hard time accepting that Devereux could be something as horrible as a blood-drinker. Although he did seem to have an extraordinary amount of physical strength. Not to mention that travelling-through-thought ability.

  In an effortless movement he caught my wrists in one of his hands, curled his arm around my waist and wrestled me down to the floor, laughing.

  Of course, listening to him laugh only made me angrier, and being restrained pretty much undid any remnants of control I still pretended to have. I struggled to get away from him and screamed at his apparent amusement. He hadn’t even worked up a sweat keeping me his prisoner on the floor.

  ‘Are you laughing at me, you Fabio-wannabe?’ It was great to see him be playful, but I wasn’t in the mood for fun and games.

  He laughed harder, and then stuck out his lower lip in a pout.

  ‘Fabio? Is he still around? Surely he must be a senior citizen by now. My dear Kismet, you know very well that the two of us do not resemble each other. My hair is much lighter, my eyes more soulful. I have been told I am much more handsome and desirable than that particular gentleman. In fact, some well-known young European musicians resemble me much more than that over-the-hill cover model.’

  Okay, it was a cheap shot. Devereux is more beautiful than most men, a young Fabio included. But what arrogance!

  I vainly struggled to get loose. ‘Well, you’re not conceited. Tell me more about how handsome and desirable you are.’

  He shifted so he straddled me, still holding my wrists down against the floor. The bright turquoise of his eyes, already noticeably heightened by the colour of his shirt, now radiated a surreal glow, as if his irises were gemstones come alive. Long, pale hair fell across my face and he threw it back with a toss of his head. His signature fragrance wafted through the air and into my nostrils, caressing the pleasure centres of my brain.