Lost Together

by Cynthia Knoble

  Myles chuckled. “Sounds like I should be there then. I’d rather be with a group of women than hanging out with your sorry ass.”

  “Ha! It’s a girls’ night. I pity the man who tries to break into that party.”

  “True.” Then he regarded Chase seriously. “When are you going to make an honest woman of my sister?”

  With a slight shake of his head, Chase turned and walked away. “We have a pact not to discuss my relationship with Anya,” he called over his shoulder. “My place, Saturday evening. Tanner will be thrilled to have a guys’ night.”

  “I’ll be there,” he assured Chase and then made his way to his office. Paperwork would occupy his mind for a while, driving away the fentanyl issue, and Saffron’s intruder. Trying to take Chase’s advice to heart, he decided he wouldn’t stay at work late tonight, as he did most nights. Suddenly a burger at The Scruffy Goose sounded great, as did a long run after to wear it off. A plan in place, he slipped into his office, determined to get through as much work as he could as quickly as possible.

  Chapter 10

  “Whoa, girl!” Ethan bellowed as the alpaca before him attempted to dart past him. Used to cattle, the alpacas had proved challenging, but he was becoming accustomed to their sudden movements. Overall, they seemed gentle creatures, and he had to admit they were beautiful, with those huge, long-lashed eyes. The one before him came to an abrupt halt with a widening of her giant eyes, and then scampered after the group Ethan was corralling into a pen. All in all, getting the females in the pen had been much easier than the males. One large male in particular had been nasty, and had even tried to bite Ethan. Still, he probably hadn’t needed to bring his ranch hand, Murray, along with him, at least not to help out with the alpacas. However, his foreman, Skip, was arriving soon with the security lights, and he supposed Murray could help out with their installation.

  As Murray secured the gate, Ethan turned to Saffron. “That’s the lot of them. Nice looking little herd you have there.”

  Smiling broadly, she bobbed her head. “Thanks. I love them. They’re such amazing animals.”

  “What are you gonna do with them?” Murray asked with genuine curiosity in his voice. “Do people eat them?”

  “Oh! No, no they don’t,” she answered, looking horrified. “No, their fibre, their fleece, is used for textile manufacturing, similar to sheep. Other than that, they’re pets usually.”

  “Pets?” Murray looked confused.

  “Yes, they make wonderful pets,” Saffron gushed. “They’re very docile, and easy to care for. They won’t jump these fences. I know you all had concerns about the heights of the fences but they respect fences. They’re easy to halter train, and require little work really.”

  “So you’re raising them for fleece then?”

  “Partly,” she answered Murray, “I’m hopeful that’ll help to cover some of my expenses, but truly, I’m starting a therapy ranch. Alpacas were the most docile creatures that were still farm animals I could think of, and I do love them, but I’m planning on adding some other animals as time goes by. The idea is to have a farm-like experience for visitors with animals that won’t pose any threat to them.”

  At Murray’s confused expression, Ethan decided to decipher Saffron’s words into something Murray would understand more readily. “She’s opening a place where people with either physical or mental challenges can come, and interact with the animals. It’s therapeutic, soothing for the people. Animals tend to have such an effect.”

  “Oh, okay, I get it. That’s awesome then,” Murray replied, and then turned back to Saffron. “Ma’am, it’s none of my business, but you should probably spread the word that’s what you’re doing here. Some folks in town are confused by this place, and are wondering what you’re up to.”

  “Um—” Her brow scrunched up, and Ethan knew she had no idea the townsfolk were gossiping relentlessly about her.

  Wishing to smooth over Murray’s words, especially with what Saffron endured last night, Ethan shrugged. “It’s a small town, and folks are used to cattle and horses around these parts. Apparently, Quentin Morris had a similar reaction when he started up his bison farm about ten years back. Do you know Quentin?” She shook her head, and he shrugged again. “Well, you’ll probably run into him at some point but yeah, he owns a bison ranch. Folks thought that was weird at the time, despite the town’s name, but they’re used to it now. Change happens slowly in small towns. I’m sure once some folks see these animals and hear about your plans, they’ll get it. I think it’s an amazing idea, and good for you.”

  “Thanks,” she said with a wide smile and he was glad to see it. She’d been distraught last night, horrified over the thought of someone hurting these animals when they arrived, and it was all he and Zoë could do to calm her enough for her to find a few hours of sleep.

  Jumping when the same alpaca he’d recently chastised gently head butt him over the fence, Saffron laughed softly. The animal emitted a soft, humming noise, and he reached for her, noticing for the first time a heart-shaped marking over her eye. He gently scratched behind her ears, and she rubbed against his outstretched arm. Smiling, he continued to caress her, and a few other alpacas drew closer to where he stood. Finding them wonderful, he looked back at Saffron.

  “Well, I gotta say, I understand the appeal. They’re beautiful, each one of them. Have you considered breeding them? I’m sure lots of folks would want them after seeing them. I myself wouldn’t mind a few on my ranch, just to pet. Zoë’s going to fall in love with them, I can tell.”

  “I am planning on it, once the rest is up and running. It would be a great way to generate income.”

  “Sure would,” he agreed, shuffling sideways a bit when Murray joined him to pet the girls.

  “Oh which reminds me, Murray,” Saffron called out causing Murray to crane his neck to see around Ethan, “thanks for getting the pasture cleared of trash. I didn’t think you’d get around to it yesterday.”

  “I didn’t,” he answered with a shrug. “By the time we were done with the paddocks, it was getting late. Maybe one of the Carsons’ men did.”

  “Oh, okay then, I’ll have to thank them. You all worked so hard here, and I do appreciate it.”

  “Anytime I can find the time, I’ll work for you,” Murray answered brightly, and then turned back to pet an alpaca that joined the one before him.

  Taking a few steps toward Saffron, Ethan inclined his head in the direction of her house. “Skip should be back with the lights soon. We’ll install them all around your house, and the bunkhouse. I wish I could put them up everywhere, but those are the only places with electrical outlets.”

  “I appreciate that, Ethan, and I’ll pay you back for them as soon as I can.”

  “No worries, I can wait, I’m just happy to be able to do it and ease your mind some.”

  Dropping her voice, her expression fell. “I think it’ll take more than lights to do that, but thanks. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate all you, and Zoë, have done for me.”

  “We’re friends,” he remarked with a slight shrug. “I’m sure you’ll help us out at some point. That’s what friends and neighbours do.” Looking back to Murray who was obviously entranced by the alpacas, he then turned a serious look on Saffron. “Have you considered my suggestion?”

  He’d kept his voice low to ensure Murray wouldn’t overhear, not wishing anything to possibly reach the ears of someone who might gossip. Last night, he’d suggested Saffron revisit the idea about hiring Rory, even if temporarily, merely to have a man present on her land. Saffron pressed her lips together tightly, and he knew she’d dismissed his idea.

  “I have. I really did think about it, I did, but I just can’t hire him. I wouldn’t feel any more comfortable with him here. I know that sounds awful, and that he’s your friend, but I can’t help the way I feel.”

  “No, you can’t, and I don’t fault you for it. I just wish Myles hadn’t put that bug in your ear about Rory, that’s
all, because I know he’d never do anything to scare you, or mess with your ranch.”

  She nodded, and he could see she didn’t quite buy his assessment of Rory, but reasoned he could do little to change her mind. The sound of Skip’s loud holler got his attention, and the older man gestured to the house, informing Ethan he’d returned with the lights. Holding a hand high to let Skip know he understood, he then removed his hat to wipe his sweaty brow before replacing it. It was sweltering today, and wasn’t close to noon yet.

  “Well, we’d best get started on the lights,” he informed Saffron, and then called Murray.

  “Great,” Saffron said, “you three get started on them and I’ll make some iced tea for you.”

  “That would hit the spot,” Ethan commented gratefully, “thank you.”

  Then he and Murray made their way to the house to join Skip. As he walked, he could only hope the lights did their intended job of deterring the intruder from any further damage to Saffron’s property, not to mention scaring her again. He wished she’d hire Rory to have someone else on the ranch with her, but knew some people couldn’t bring themselves to hire someone with Rory’s record, and couldn’t truly fault them. Perhaps if she knew the full story she’d better understand his actions, but it wasn’t Ethan’s place to tell her. Approaching Saffron’s house, he thought maybe he’d speak to one of his men about temporarily sleeping in her bunkhouse at night. Maybe she could take one or two of his dogs for a while. Neither were permanent solutions but might alleviate some of her worry. He couldn’t fathom how frightened she must be of spending even one more night alone on a secluded ranch with the threat of possible harm to her. It was no way for anyone to have to live.

  Chapter 11

  “I mean it, not another single penny, Zandra,” Rory said, his tone stern, “and I don’t know how, but I’ll repay whatever you gave to Chase. How much was it?”

  “It was only a hundred bucks because he had to charge something in order to represent you legally, but, because he can’t be your actual lawyer, that’s why he wants to refer you to that one in Lethbridge, and if you need that lawyer then I will pay him. You can’t stop me.”

  “The hell I can’t. It’s my life, and if I don’t want you paying for a lawyer then you won’t!”

  Taking a step closer to him, Zandra’s sad eyes seemed to search his face for an answer as to why he was acting the way he was. Wishing he could confide in her, he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He wouldn’t burden her with any more than she already shouldered because of him.

  “Please, talk to me. What’s going on with you? It scares me when you shut down like this. I just want to be here for you.”

  “I know, but I can’t let you.”

  “Why would you even say something like that? Let me in. You’re my brother. I love you, and I’d do anything to help you.”

  “Including lying to the police?” he challenged.

  “I didn’t. I lied to Chase.”

  He snorted. “Don’t you see what you’re already doing? You lied to Chase, told him you’d sign a statement for Myles. You’d sign a legal document that was a lie, to protect me. You can’t do that.”

  “Why not? I’d do anything for you.”

  “I know, but I can’t let you.”

  “Rory—”

  “No.” His tone was harsher than he’d intended but he had to get her to stop. “I can’t let you. I won’t see you ruin your life because of me. I’m not worth it.” At the sight of the tears that filled her eyes, he cursed himself again. Why did he always screw things up so badly? He tried so hard to do the right thing, and it never worked to his benefit.

  “Please don’t say things like that,” she pleaded as a tear ran down her cheek. “You are worth it. You’re worth everything, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “I know,” he said, his voice softening as he drew closer to her. “I know you would but you can’t. I can’t let you.”

  “I don’t understand. Why won’t you let me help you? After everything we’ve been through, why are you acting like this?”

  “Because of everything we’ve been through,” he replied as his thumbs brushed under her eyes, wiping away tears that fell for him. He didn’t know how many she’d shed over the years, because of him, but each one was one too many, and it had to stop. “Sissy, each time I get turned down for a job, every time someone looks at me with that look, every time Myles sniffs around here, every time you have to lie for me—don’t you see? It’s all because of what we’ve been through. You’ve suffered enough, and all I’ve ever done is make it worse for you. I don’t want to anymore. All I want to do is make things better for you, but all I do is screw everything up. And every time I do, everything you’ve been through is pulled to the surface again. I hurt you, over and over, and I don’t want to, but I keep doing it. I can’t anymore, I just can’t.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That I’m leaving town. I have to.”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head wildly. “No, you can’t. I need you here with me.”

  “I know you think you do, but you don’t. All I do is cause more problems for you. What you need is to heal and you can’t because I’m here, dredging up what happened to you every time you look at me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “It is. I need to go to a city, and find work. Pay for my own place, buy my own groceries, and matter. I’m like a disease here, and I can’t take it any more.”

  “You’re not,” she wailed as she wrapped her arms around herself and released a harsh sob. “Oh Rory! Why do you feel like that? None of it’s true, none of it.” With a keening wail, she shook her head again. “Don’t leave me. I need you. Boone’s always away and I need you. I can’t be alone, and you shouldn’t be either. Please, please don’t go.”

  When she sobbed so hard her knees buckled, he leapt forward to embrace her. Holding her weeping form, his heart broke, for her, and for him, for he knew he couldn’t leave her despite the fact he should, especially for her sake.

  “Don’t leave me,” she pleaded, as her tears soaked into his shirt.

  “I won’t,” he assured her, and then kissed the top of her head. “Sissy, you’re wrong, you’re so wrong. You don’t need me, and someday you’ll see that, but I’ll stay because you want me to.”

  It was a mistake. His promise trapped him in this damn town with people who detested him, and in a life that he hated. It felt as oppressive as prison, but he’d survived jail and would survive this too, somehow. He didn’t know how he’d accomplish it, already so close to his breaking point, but he’d have to find a way, for Zandra. Boone and Zandra would be better off without him in town, and he knew Boone would fair fine if he left. Zandra, however, had convinced herself she needed him, and he couldn’t leave her, not now.

  Chapter 12

  Close to midnight, Rory snuck onto Saffron’s ranch, knowing he shouldn’t, but unable to prevent himself from doing so. It was a compulsion he couldn’t deny, and the only thing that prevented him from losing control and doing something that would definitely result in him returning to jail.

  Prison had been confining, of course, with how he spent every minute of his time dictated to him. Until then, the simple pleasure of a walk to the store was something he’d taken for granted, never truly understanding freedom. The worst part of his incarceration was nighttime, confined to a cell, three grey, concrete walls, one barred. Days weren’t exactly pleasurable, but had been filled with activity and distractions for his mind. Night brought stillness, quietness, and his thoughts. Guilt surfaced. He fully understood how his actions, for years leading up to his attack on Parsons, had brought about his ruin. He’d always had a wicked temper, something Boone cautioned him about regularly. School fights, bar scraps, never anything serious, but a pattern nonetheless, one Boone saw for what it was, but a pattern Rory ignored. Shit, even Ethan had warned Rory. He hadn’t listened.

  Zandra and Boone visited hi
m in the penitentiary, whenever they could. He hated Zandra seeing him there, but lived for her visits, her loving face giving him something to look forward to, helping the time between visits to pass more quickly. As his release date neared, Boone suggested moving to Bison Bluffs, the tiny prairie town where Ethan owned a cattle ranch, having taken over its operations from his parents. Upon hearing Zandra’s desire to relocate there, Rory readily agreed to the move. Many hours after the decision were spent daydreaming about the prairies, and the wide-open, windswept plains, a place so vast he’d never feel confined again. However, as he’d learned since living in town, confinement came in more forms than prison cells.

  The call of the forbidden act too enticing to ignore, he stole across the property. A few moments before, he’d set off a motion-detector light by the house as he’d tried to sneak past it. His heart in his throat, he’d hidden in the bushes outside the front of the house, almost shitting himself when Saffron had peered out the front window, from behind a curtain.

  Drawing closer to one of the alpaca pens, he pulled an apple out of one pocket, a pocketknife from the other. Slicing off a piece of apple, he held it over the fence, hoping the animals would remain as quiet as they currently were. Soon, nostrils flaring, one, with a heart-shaped marking over her eye, approached him. Making soft coaxing noises to lure her closer, he waited, the hand holding the knife behind his back.

  Chapter 13

  Myles and Ethan stood over the dead alpaca, waiting for the arrival of Cole Robillard. The veterinarian had been called for his professional opinion, but Myles could clearly see the animal had been stabbed in the neck, probably with a knife, and had bled out. Bloody patches covered the area around it, and he cringed thinking how Saffron had discovered the animal earlier this morning. She’d called Ethan, who’d called him, and he’d called Cole before heading to Saffron’s place.

  “Poor thing,” Ethan said softly. “They’re such amazing animals, so trusting. Too trusting, I guess. I’m sure this was the one I pet yesterday. She was so sweet. Well, they all are.”