One

by Mari Arden

  Anna scrutinizes me. "Much better." She says it with relief.

  "I'm nervous that the buttons will burst," I confess, trying to tug my blouse in place.

  "The buttons are durable."

  I wonder how "durable" buttons will help them stay on blouses, but Anna turns away and I know it's the end of the discussion. We walk down the stairs together. Courtney and Stella are gone.

  "Alex is waiting for you by the cash register." She checks her watch. "Although you're ten minutes late so he could be anywhere now." She goes into her office and I continue forward, past the bustling kitchen, and through the doors to waiting customers and an annoyed Alex.

  Here we go.

  CHAPTER 12

  I'm immediately informed there is a line two blocks long for lunch. Alex looks irritable, but manages to give a compliment about my new look. Sort of. "I can actually see you're a girl today," he says, quickly glancing over me.

  "That I am," I respond, attempting to be light.

  "Don't talk. Just listen." My mouth closes, and any lightness I hoped to have evaporates like boiling water. He continues hurriedly. "I need you on tables seven, eight, eleven, and twelve. Nine is red and the guests won't be here for two hours."

  Red means "special". What does "special" mean? Alex doesn't explain, and begins walking to the host table. There is a group of college students standing idly by. Alex gestures to them. "Seat them at eleven. Smile. Get their order right. And try not to breathe too much; that top looks like it's about to burst."

  I turn two shades of scarlet. Didn't I try to tell Anna that? I nod at his instructions, and attempt my best smile. "Follow me," I tell the group.

  Alex clasps my elbow, pulling me close. "I can tell when you're faking a smile, Jules."

  I smile wider. "You can, but they can't," I bluff, letting him watch me go. I take the group's order, and while I wait for the girl to decide what she wants, I make up my mind to smile with my lips only. I don't want to intimidate any tippers.

  Soon, I have no time to think, only to move and carry tray after tray of food out. Maddie's is a well-oiled machine. Once the crowd starts growing Anna is on the floor, constantly checking on customers, and on us. I'm nervous whenever she's near by. Her eyes are always assessing, noticing the most minute details. I see her tap Courtney on the shoulder to let her know a strand of hair had come undone from her braid. Anna even has another waiter change his shirt when a guest spills water on him, preferring him to wear something new rather than let it air dry. Perfection at all times.

  It's not what I'm used to, but I adjust. I get my head in the game, reminding myself to notice the small details too. I wipe cups when I observe that they are not crystal clear. I wipe the edges of dishes so each plate is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. I'm careful to add a wedge of lemon just perfectly so the straw is exactly opposite it. I notice that this makes it prettier to look at.

  I feel Anna's eyes on me more than once, and I have to resist the urge to catch her gaze. I remind myself to do my best, and I feel my smile grow wider every time I look at the tips I'm receiving. See? I want to tell the other girls who all eyed my chest so disdainfully. It's about hard work and not how large your chest is. The time passes by so quickly that I don't notice two hours has gone by until I see Alex gesture for my attention.

  Looking down at my table, I say, "Enjoy your salmon burgers, gentleman. The chef has prepared his own special sauce with it, and we've been getting rave reviews. Be sure to let me know if there's anything else you might need." My lips curl into a smile, and I meet each person's gaze before heading in the direction of Alex.

  He starts talking even before I reach him. "Nine's here. It's a party of five. Could be business. Could be family. Could be anything. We push their orders out faster. Important, life altering decisions have been made at that table." I chew my lip in worry. And he wants me to take it?

  As if Alex can hear me, he says, "They'll like you. You're… different." Being different here has always been a bad thing, but the way Alex says it now makes me feel like it might be the opposite.

  "Um, okay."

  "Smile." He takes another look at me. "Maybe not. Look friendly." He narrows his eyes at me.

  Before he can utter the insult I know is in his head, I interrupt him and say, "I got this, Alex. It will be all right." I feign confidence. The truth is I'm a quick learner, but this is only my second day here. I don't know everything there is to know about Maddie's. I hope no one quizzes me.

  Anna has already seated table nine, and I approach them cautiously. I hear feminine laughter and give a start when I realize it's from Anna. She sounds human and pure and less like a robot. I wonder which one is the real her.

  "Oh, here is your server! Her name is Jules and she's recently joined the Maddie's family." Anna steps back gently and nudges me forward. I see four men. Three are older, maybe in their mid- fifties, but one looks young, my age even. His baldhead is smooth in the noon light. When he sees my face he grins, and I notice one tooth is crooked. This only adds to his looks, and he smiles wider when he catches me staring as if he's aware of what I'm thinking. Instantly, I'm on edge. He looks familiar. I try not to think about it as I force my lips to curve.

  "Are any of you new to Maddie's?' I ask. Two men with graying hair admit it's their first time here.

  The third gentleman laughs and says, "I've been coming here since before you were born, girlie."

  "Jules, this is Coach Roberts. He's the head coach for the UW Badgers," Anna informs me with a tight-lipped smile as if embarrassed I don't know. Oh. I absorb the information with a smooth expression.

  "Dad went to school here and so did I," Coach says, putting an arm back. He's got slid back gray hair and steel blue eyes. "I love it here. Love the company," he nods toward Anna. She makes the appropriate sound. "Love the food; love everything that Maddie's stands for. That's why we're here today. We're trying to get these kind folks," he gestures to the older men in suits across from him, "to donate to a charity near and dear to Maddie's, Hearts of Love."

  Anna nods enthusiastically. "Hearts of Love has done so much for people in our community. They don't look at income. They look at need. When Reid was in the hospital, every one of us prayed for him. He's always been the heart and soul of this place. We watched him grow up… and to see him so helpless broke our hearts."

  I blink. Something tugs at my memory.

  "Hearts of Love can't run without support. Lots of support." Coach looks pointedly at the men. "You've got the whole Badger's football team backing it up. We're number four in the country," he boasts, cracking his knuckles. "We've got the man power to open this baby up. We just need the right people who want to join our vision."

  There are ghost sensations inside me. I remember a burning down my throat. I remember standing on top of a mountain, swaying, but instead of falling, I rolled.

  "Reid is only twenty-one-years old and he's already taken a great leadership role in this organization. He is an extraordinary man, and Cade here can vouch for what an extraordinary leader he is on and off the field."

  "Trying to make me blush?" A smooth voice from behind me speaks.

  I freeze. I know that voice.

  Then like glass breaking, everything comes crashing together. The party two nights ago. Riding for money. Spontaneity.

  I know who Reid is.

  Against everything inside me, I turn. As if in slow motion I see him.

  Pax.

  I must've said his name out loud because he nods in my direction. He steps closer so no one can hear. "When I'm working, I'm Reid. When I'm on the field, I'm Pax. But you, Jules, can call me whatever you like." He winks. I watch in a daze as he slips by and greets the people sitting down.

  "Cade," he fist bumps the young bald man. "Coach," he says, offering him a hug. Pax turns to the two men in suits. "I'm Reid Paxton. Some people call me Pax, but you can call me Reid." He shakes both of their hands formally. Abruptly I noticed he's not dressed casually. He has
on dark denim jeans and a top with a fitted V-neck sweater over it. He looks sophisticated, sexy, and manly all at once. For a second, Pax glances up, catching my gaze. Instantly, my face goes up in flames. Why did I just think that? I look at the table as I try to calm the rushing of blood coursing through my body.

  "Hello Reid," Anna greets him in the softest voice I've ever heard her use.

  "Hi Anna. How is everything today?" Pax asks, grinning with marble white teeth. He pulls a chair for himself.

  "Fantastic." Her perfect smile falters a bit underneath his gaze. It's interesting to see that even Anna isn't immune to Pax. "Have you met Jules yet?" She places a hand at the small of my back. "She will be your server today."

  Pax turns toward me, his green eyes suddenly sparkling. "Yes. She assisted with one of our events for Hearts of Love." I remember how I "assisted" and I want to curse myself for blushing like a boiling tomato. "We raised five hundred dollars in one hour," Pax explains to everyone. "People want to help if you give them the right incentives and a simple way to do it." When he says "incentives" I instantly recall how girls rode the men in barely-there outfits.

  The bald one, Cade, nods. I remember him now. The picture of him is vague, but I recall the colors of flesh on flesh. I recall the heat. "It was an informal event; something we decided to do at a victory party. Imagine what we could do with more planning and support. We can bring this charity to a whole other level," Cade comments with confidence.

  "Before we get to business, let's order some food," Pax redirects the attention back to me with ease. "The chef here is amazing. He's got delicious specials that he makes using ingredients from local farmers."

  Anna nudges me subtly, letting me know it's my turn to speak. "The special today is venison pot roast with an avocado cream and butter sauce. It includes a fresh green salad and bread baked this morning," I recite.

  One of the men in a navy blue suit looks surprised. "I'm embarrassed to say I've lived in the Midwest my whole life and never had venison before."

  "Today might be a good day to try," I reply politely. "The chef has let it simmer for over eight hours, and I've heard people say it practically melts in their mouths," I offer.

  "Well, since the young lady speaks so highly of it, we simply must try it."

  I take out my note pad. "Two of the special then?" I ask.

  "Make that three," Coach adds, holding up a finger. "I'm quite partial to venison."

  I look toward Cade and Pax.

  "I'll have the double beef and onion burger with sweet potato fries," Cade tells me.

  "What's your favorite on the menu?" Pax asks me. I was only able to sample a few of the dishes yesterday.

  "I like any of the dishes with cheese," I reply.

  He leans back. "Not a picky eater, eh? I like that in a woman." I wonder if the other people think he's flirting with me. I'm shocked he's being so friendly with me after last night. Didn't he remember how I walked out without a word? I remembered how I suddenly felt like the walls were caving in, entrapping me somehow, and left when his back was turned. I'd walked away like a coward. Looking at him now, it doesn't seem like Pax remembered any of it. Or maybe this is a game, and I'm a challenge he can't resist. Or maybe, something small whispers, Pax is the type of guy who doesn't hold grudges. Either way, he's being too nice and it makes me feel guilty and something more inside.

  "What will you have?" I ask Pax, hoping my voice doesn't sound abrupt.

  "I'll let the pretty lady choose for me." His gaze is level.

  I feel Anna's eyes on me and I nod. I let them know water will be right out, and then I walk briskly away, wondering how in the world Pax keeps appearing in my life. I walk to one of the computer stations and start entering in the order. I decide on a pasta dish for Pax, figuring he'd work out the carbs. Next, I head to the kitchen, opening the double-sided doors with ease. I gesture to one of the chefs.

  "Table nine is red, and I just put in their order. Please get it done as soon as you can," I say.

  "Right away."

  I gather cups and fill each one with water. I wash and cut two fresh lemons, gently angling a slice into each cup. I set everything on an overly large tray, and push my way through the doors and back to table nine.

  "… every cent will go toward the patients. I can vouch for that."

  I hear Pax's strong voice, and the passion inside it makes my heart do little flips. I set the tray down, and try to be as unintrusive as possible, not making a sound even when I set the cup of water in front of them.

  "Why are you so passionate about Hearts of Love?" One of the suits ask. Someone murmurs "thank you" when I place his cup in front of him.

  "Mr. Jones, two years ago I died."

  I freeze.

  Pax continues, seemingly unaware of my presence. "For a full two minutes my heart stopped. I was devoid of oxygen for so long that it caused damage to my limbs, my legs in particular. Doctors didn't think I was going to walk again." He shakes his head. "They didn't think I would be able to do anything. Hearts of Love gave me hope. They helped me find people who had had similar experiences. They held events for us." Pax's eyes are alive and expressive. "We went and visited children and held events for them. Even though we were wounded, Hearts of Love showed us how we were needed. Every person is important. Everyone is significant. I believe in this organization because I've seen what it can do." Pax leans in closer. Lulled by his words, I do too. "If you pledge to support, I promise that Hearts of Love will do wonders. We will show you how ordinary people can do extraordinary things."

  I take a step back, lifting the empty tray.

  "You are a great speaker, young man," I finally hear a voice say. "The world is full of men content with their lives; it's nice to see someone who looks beyond themselves."

  I walk away. I admire what Pax is doing. He's not just a pretty face after all. Not everyone has his resources though. Not everyone can help someone else when they can barely help themselves. I suppose there has to be a balance in the world. There are people like me who have to hustle for themselves, and there are people like Pax who hustle for others. We each have a role, and we usually don't cross over.

  Feeling my chest tighten, I walk to a computer stand and bend my head, giving myself a moment to breathe.

  "You okay?"

  I remain unmoving when I hear Alex's voice. "Yeah."

  "Busy day. Not ideal for a beginner."

  I shrug, turning around. "It happens."

  "Table nine okay?"

  "Yeah. Coach, two football players, and two guys in a suit," I tell him.

  "They're usually in suits."

  "How does Anna know Pax?" I ask after a moment.

  "His parents used to work here. They always brought him along. He used to help out with little tasks."

  "Where do his parents work now?"

  Alex looks at me strangely. "They're dead."

  CHAPTER 13

  Three years earlier

  Something rotten fills the air.

  It's putrid smelling, and I pinch my nose, hoping it will stop the odors from invading my senses. There is no moon tonight. Even though we're far from the cities, the stars look dim, covered by dense gray clouds. Every instinct inside me is warning me away, telling me to turn back. My breath is heavy, but my footsteps are soft. I barely see what's in front of me so I'm careful when I move, using my other senses to help me over the overgrown path.

  We missed the truck. It picked up the other workers over an hour ago. I'd waited by our meeting spot just like she told me to do. The money I'd earned is still in my pocket, neatly rolled and held together by a hair scrunchie. My hair sticks to my skin though, wrapping around my neck like a fragile rope. It itches.

  I desperately want to shout for her, but something tells me it might be dangerous to do so. I crouch lower, squinting to see into the darkness. She had been wearing yellow today. Her long sleeved shirt was the color of sunflowers and the pants she wore were black and dirty, but her shirt had bee
n clean. I'd washed it myself.

  Steadying myself on a large tree trunk, I struggle to keep moving despite the thick worry clogging my throat like a baseball. This has never happened before. Not even when I was five and had to stay at the shed for a whole day all by myself. She was always there when she said she would be. Always.

  Closing my eyes, I recall the day's events. I remember waking up and looking outside for the sun. I didn't find it because it hadn't risen yet. The morning looked like nighttime, but I didn't complain. I brushed my teeth, and tied my hair into a ponytail. She reminded me to cut my nails, but it was more out of habit than anything. I always cut my nails short now. I eventually learned that long nails and manual labor don't go well together. It took two instances of a few fingernails ripping off for that idea to truly set in.

  We ate a quick breakfast of oatmeal. I cut up a few pieces of banana for her. That inspired her to wear her yellow shirt. "A little sunshine for this cloudy day," she'd said. I didn't usually work with her at this particular farm. She didn't want me to. Today she did though. The truck picked us up at 5:38 am exactly. There were two older men with us. They didn't speak English and I only spoke a little Spanish so our conversation fizzled out within minutes.

  She whispered things into my ear. She told me to watch as the fields whipped by, and the landscape slowly merged into rocky, mountainous terrain. She made me remember the split log almost covering the road, telling me that was the half waypoint between home and where we were going. She pointed backwards. "Take this road all the way down, and you'll see the stream. Then you can use the stream to get you home." I asked her why she was telling me these things. She looked grave and replied, "A woman alone, especially a young one, is a dangerous temptation."

  Her gray eyes had so much wisdom in them that sometimes it scared me. I can't ever remember a time where we weren't worried or frantic to keep going. That's when I realized her wisdom didn't come from happiness; it had to have come from something darker.