Maybe This
Page 28
“When I would go to the nursing home to visit her…I started bringing a digital recorder. With her permission, I documented all of her stories, her memories, her advice… Anything that I could possibly get from her. Everything in that book came from your Gram; all I did was type it up and organize it. And there’s more at the end just for you but… Maybe you should take the rest of the day and read it? I have a copy for Rayne, too. I’ll get it to her tomorrow when we go shopping for baby things…”
She trailed off when he set the book down on the dryer, but only to put his hands against her face to kiss her. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“I love you, Kellie. Thank you so much for this. But I kind of dislike you right now because I can never top a gift like this.”
She had to laugh, but she squeezed him tighter and answered, “I wouldn’t expect you to. It’s pretty fucking awesome.”
“Dear God, she’s better than me and she knows it.” He kissed her forehead and added, “I don’t know what to do with you.”
“Ha, well I can think of something right now. Take me to bed or lose me forever!”
He chuckled at her movie reference but grabbed the book and her hand at the same time and pulled her out the door. “Show me the way home, honey!”
She giggled as she followed him down the hall. But even though they ended up in bed together, the sweetest most loving aspect of it was that Tate read Gram’s book out loud to her. They both shut off their phones and spent the next five hours reading, taking only short breaks in between to eat or use the bathroom. There wasn’t anything in the world she would rather be doing than to listen to her man’s sexy voice read some of the memories his grandmother had of not only her own life, but Tate’s as well.
Love was about selflessness and sacrifice, but it was also about just sharing your life with your partner—including your whole heart. Tate had shared parts of his past with Kellie that he wasn’t proud of. He’d admitted to being a selfish, arrogant, and boastful teenager. He felt he was better than everyone else, especially on a sports field, and he was a disrespectful smartass to his teachers. His Gram had been the only person to bring out his sweet side; his father the only person to tell him to his face he needed a lesson in humility.
When Tate didn’t get the sports scholarships he’d wanted, he leaned more toward the military. His mother forbade him to enlist; his father encouraged it because he felt it would give his son the discipline he needed. The athleticism required for the marines had interested Tate and it was something he decided he needed to do. After his friend went to jail on involuntary manslaughter charges from his drinking and driving mistake, Tate chose to reevaluate his own life and make some changes.
It was amazing how your experiences in life can mold you a certain way. Whenever Tate would share stories with her about what a shit he was in high school, she just couldn’t believe it. He was such a smart, caring, compassionate person now and it was hard to picture him being anything else. His experiences as a marine—and especially the challenges he was still going through—had reshaped not only his current life, but also his priorities and way of thinking.
Since Tate had been so open with her about his life—sharing stories with her, letting her read his raw and sometimes heart wrenching journals from the past couple of years, and being completely honest and straightforward about his goals for the future—it had opened up a part of Kellie’s heart that she’d never tapped into. She could see through his eyes more often, and it helped her realize things that she might not have ever understood. Being with the right person had changed her world for the better—in more ways than she could ever imagine—and no amount of interference from the outside world could ever change that.
She was healthy, happy, and looked forward to an amazing future with the man that loved her completely.
~The End~
If you’ve enjoyed the McCallan series, stay tuned for the 5th and final book, Max’s story, available fall 2015.
Books by Hadley Quinn:
Level Up
The McCallan series:
Kiss This
Tame This
Only This
Maybe This
The Fighter’s Block series:
Donovan
Cole
To connect with the author:
www.hadleyquinnauthor.com
www.facebook.com/AuthorHadleyQuinn
www.twitter.com/theHadleyQuinn
From the Author:
My heart is a bit full as I write this. With the impact of the internet and the excessive amount of time people spend on social media, lately I’ve witnessed so much self-deprecation than I ever want to see. There is something that concerns me a great deal, and that is the adoration of public figures to the extent that some individuals spend hours a day tracking them and obsessing over them. Sure it is fun to keep up with those we find interesting, but when so much of your life is spent on a cyber fascination, how much of your own life are you missing out on? There seems to be an epidemic of envy, self-doubt, depression, and unhappiness and it hurts me to see this.
The internet is not all bad. There are so many enjoyable, educational aspects of it, and many people that are great examples to look up to. But moderation is key here. It’s so easy to get caught up in a virtual reality that we neglect the things right in front of us. Love your own life, don’t love someone else’s. Be supportive of the people you enjoy interacting with on social media, but don’t try to live their life with them. You’re meant to travel your own path, not someone else’s. Many of the figures that are deemed to be upper crust are really no different than any of us. Do not envy them and do not bring yourself down because you feel you cannot live up to standards that are not meant for you. Learn from social media, take what you need to better yourself, but make your own mark.
I know this book is about a Hollywood family, but I truly feel that there are many layers of this story that are relatable to all of us. Whether we are on one end or the other, never forget that you are one person amongst a world of billions; never forget that another person’s feelings and self-worth are just as important as yours. No matter your “status” in life, you are just as valuable as the person next to you.
DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE TELL YOU YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, and if they happen to be that brazen and ignorant, remember this: “Chin up, shoulders back, wipe those tears and get back on track. Smile, wave and wink with class. Then tell them all to kiss your ass.”
Thank you to those of you that support and encourage me. I can only hope that I am doing the same for you.
~Hadley
Bonus Feature
(For the music lovers out there)
MAYBE THIS Soundtrack:
“Try”- Colbie Caillat
“Shake it Out”- Florence + the Machine
“Who Am I Living For”- Katy Perry
“Fix Me”- Icon For Hire
“Let Me Love You”- Gavin Mikhail
“Wrapped In Your Arms”- Fireflight
“Have a Little Faith In Me”- John Hiatt
“Breathe In Breathe Out”- Mat Kearney
“My My Love”- Joshua Radin
“Everything”- Lifehouse
For a detailed description of these songs and their
relevance to Maybe This:
“Try”- Imagine living every day of your life trying to please other people. Oh, you already do? Well unfortunately, far too many of us struggle with the mindset that we’re not good enough the way we are; that we need to do this or that in order to fit in or be accepted by a particular scene of people we want to please. Some may think it’s silly to allow others to make us feel inferior, but the truth is, we’ve all been there. Kellie questioned her self-worth more times than she could count, and the sad reality is…you can be the strongest, toughest soul out there and still get beat down now and then. You can be the ripest, juiciest peach and there are still people that don’t like peaches. If you’re going to be judged
whether you do good or bad, then just be yourself and do what makes you happy.
“Shake It Out”- I Love the message this song contains. A lot of people have regrets; some say they don’t yet they still reflect on the past quite a bit. Some mistakes are worth revisiting so you don’t make them again, but most should not be allowed to affect your future. This song represents Kellie very well. She has reflected on past experiences too often, keeping things to herself and suffering in silence. She’s learned to shake things off, but some things tend to keep coming back at her. She almost hits that obstacle again but she has some very amazing people in her life to help her get back on track.
“Who Am I Living For”- This tune has a really mysterious, eerie feel to it, but at the same time, it’s confident and straight forward. We all have battles we’re fighting; some are obvious and some are silent ones that we keep hidden. Despite which type they are, we’ve all been at a point where we’ve needed to talk ourselves into fighting harder. Kellie is in the middle of her family’s feud, trying to establish some neutrality in a situation where she really can’t win. Her personal struggles are directly related to the problem as well, so she is indeed faced with some tough questions to answer for herself.
“Fix Me”- I don’t like the idea of a person being “broken” and in need of someone to “rescue” them. However, I believe that we meet people that have that one special thing that can complete a part of our lives. Sometimes we really do need help that we aren’t able to give ourselves for a particular reason. I love how this song can apply to both Tate and Kellie. They are both strong individuals, but because they are, they not only recognize what they can give, but what they need from the other.
“Let Me Love You”- There is a moment in the book that really breaks my heart a bit. Kellie is so wracked with heartache when it comes to feeling like she’s not good enough. She never says so, but Tate recognizes this and tells her that she IS good enough and always will be. “Let me love you, and I will love you, until you learn to love yourself. Let me love you, I know you’re troubled, don’t be afraid, oh I can help. Let me love you, and I will love you, until you learn to love yourself. Let me love you, a heart of numbness gets brought to life, I’ll take you there.”
“Wrapped In Your Arms”- I love it when tough souls get a bit of softening. Although Kellie has some inner struggles because of the way she was raised, she slowly becomes vulnerable to Tate and he is able to break through some of those walls of self-doubt. I love the power that love has to help us overcome so much. He takes the time to dig deep and understand parts of her she doesn’t share with anyone. Some of those struggles are the very thing that makes other parts of our life that much stronger, and this very soft and gentle song is actually a humble declaration of knowing where you belong.
“Have a Little Faith in Me”- Discovering that “I’m here to stay” moment in a relationship is life altering. You know you now have each other to depend on, and that commitment sometimes takes a leap of faith. This song has that gospel ring to it that gives hope and encouragement; that what you’re doing is indeed the right thing. Kellie needs to learn how to trust and Tate doesn’t want to let her down.
“Breathe In Breathe Out”- Think about the trials that come your way, the things you cannot change. You can’t go back in time, you can’t undo something that has been done… So what do you do? All you can really do is take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I need to do to get through this?” There’s always something to be happy about; there’s always a “light” somewhere. Look at what you do have and build on that. We can’t always change our situations, but we can change our attitudes and how we face the challenge. How we react to a struggle will determine what you are made of. Believe in the things that make you happy because they will get you through anything you need to get through.
“My My Love”- Every story needs a soft, sweet love song and this is it. Strip away all the hype and superficial aspects of life and enjoy the quiet moments; the moments where you feel peace, love and contentment; the moments that tell you “this is what matters the most.” If you’ve ever experienced a busy life, you know how much you value those treasured minutes of refuge.
“Everything”- One of my favorite songs by my favorite band, it represents so much in such a raw, passionate way. There is no wondering, no confusion, and no question as to the message this song resonates. No matter whom it is meant for, it’s clear there is a solid devotion and commitment being declared. It starts off soft and meek, but as it builds, the humility just gets more pronounced. I like to think that a relationship with someone at this level is completely unbreakable.