by Savana Jade
Jenna had woken up finally. Will told us he was waiting for her to come to. Once she was stable enough to move her, he insisted on having her in the same room with him. They laid there staring at each other and talking for hours. Sometimes they would look around the room before returning to one another. I would look at the people around the room. Not one of us was going to leave his side. The doctors told us it was a matter of time before his organs would eventually give out.
“Brennan” he said with his hand stretched out. All eyes were on me as I gathered the strength to stand up and walk over to him. His other hand was in Jenna’s. They hadn’t let go of each other’s hands since she had woken up the last time. Slowly with shaking legs, I make my way between the beds. Instinctively, I take his hand in mine. A knot in my throat forms as Jenna sobs silently taking my other hand in hers. Will’s breathing is labored, but he still manages to speak. “Mom, Dad.” I close my eyes as I hear everyone’s shuffled feet surround the three of us. When I open my eyes and look over my shoulder to his mom, I notice everyone is holding hands for support.
He opens his eyes and looks right into mine. “Now listen to me. Don’t speak, just listen” He takes a few painful breaths between words. He looks over to his mom and dad and continues. “I think… I think my time is coming.” It takes all I have to look at him. A fresh tear falls from his eye and lands on the pillow under him. Silent sobs begin to fill the room. “It’s okay guys. I’m ready. Momma, I love you. Dad, promise to take care of her.” He pauses, takes a breath and gathers his thoughts, then looks between me and Jenna. “Brennan, bro, I know you made a promise not to let anyone go from your lives. But I am going to have to break that promise.”
“Jems,” He says as he squeezes her hand and looks her way “Remember what we spoke about that day on the pier?” She doesn’t answer at first, but then she nods. Her tears soak her pillow as he continues. “Good girl. Remember it always. Everyone in this room holds a piece of my heart with them. It is okay to cry. But I want everyone to promise me something before I go.” He takes another deep labored breath as he begins to look around to every set of eyes in the room. “After I am gone, I want no more tears, only happy thoughts.”
“Remember all the fun we had, remember the good times. It’s okay to remember the bad times too, but only if it brings out the good shit, um I mean stuff. Sorry mom.” He looks over to Gabe who was standing behind Jenna with his hand resting on her shoulder for support. “Promise me”, he makes eye contact with each and every one of them and waits until they all say they promised. He whispers to me to come closer.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as the tears are flowing and lean closer to where his and Jenna’s head lie together. “Will, no, don’t do this to me. I can’t…” I rest my head on their hands. He nudges my head up so I have to look up at him.
He cut me off like he always does. “I said listen, not speak.” He smiled before looking over to Jenna. “Jems?” she lies with her eyes closed for the last ten minutes or so. We knew she was awake because the tears that streamed down her face along with her sobs told us so.
“Jenna Munson, look at me.” She opens her lids and her bloodshot eyes make contact with his. He smiles and continues. “Bren made a promise. But he is going to have to break it now.” Her cry deepens as she cries shaking her head vigorously as he repeats himself.
“No” Gabe leans in, resting his forehead on her head while he holds her and shushes her. His chest rises and falls with sobs.
“I want you to make a special promise to me okay? Let it out when you need to. But after you do, I want you to promise me that you will talk to Brennan like you talk to me. You have always been my little sister, and I’ve been with you two from day one. Jenna, Brennan needs you more now than ever. He is going to hate himself for breaking his promise to you.” He turns to look at me. “Bro, you know you have always been my twin.” He tries to chuckle, but winces instead.
“Your promise to me is to stay strong okay? Stay true to yourself. Only good thoughts okay Brennan? She is going to regret us saving her, she already does. It is your job to reassure her that it was completely worth it. Protect her, buff her out, and let her shine.” I drop my head to our hands crying like a baby. I have no clue what he’s talking about, so I only nod. “I have no doubt you’ll find someone who deserves you. She will love you. But Bren?” he coughs.
“Promise me that when you meet her, you will let go of Jenna.” His eyes roam up to Gabe then to Jenna. “Let him go sis, but not until the time is right. Okay?” he asks. Jenna’s chest is rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath.
Nodding quickly, she whispers. “I promise” as she squeezes my hand. Will lets her hand go and places it on my head, caressing me. Fuck I should be the one holding him.
“It’s ok Bren.” he pats me on the head, then lifting it for his mom. She takes it, resting her other hand on my shoulder. “I love……….”
A slight knock on the bedroom door shakes me out of my memory. “Brennan?” Jenna says softly. I lift my gaze through the mirror and make contact with hers. Even bruised and battered up, she is still so beautiful. She stands in the doorframe in a simple long sleeved black dress. It’s not that it’s cold outside, so I’m assuming she’s trying to hide the scrapes and bruises on her arms. God I wish I could talk to her, but it’s still too soon. She takes a small step my way. “Brennan, let me help you with that tie.” She makes her way to me with her arms stretched out; her hands land gently on my shoulders. She looks at me through the mirror as her sorrow filled eyes meet mine. She does not smile, but she nods her head for me to turn. I follow her command. Immediately, she takes the tie that I have draped around my neck and begins to fix it.
“I didn’t know you could make a tie.” I said looking down at her fingers watching them do their thing.
“Will taught me.” She speaks softly. “I was watching him one day when he was getting ready for some interviews.” She pauses for a second to focus on the knot. Her eyes begin to gloss over at her memory. She blinks a few times to push her tears away. “He said I may need to know how to do it someday.” She runs her fingers down the tie, and then takes a deep breath. She drops her hands to her sides, her eyes never meet mine, “There. You’re done.” Nervously she brings them together begins ringing her fingers together. “Well, the guys are downstairs and I have my bag ready.” She takes a step away from me.
“You know you don’t have to go Jenna.” I take her hands in mine. Today is not just the day I get to bury my best friend. Today is also the same day I get to ship my sister off to rehab shortly after. “The doctors only advised that you go, but you don’t actually have to.” I see the hurt in her face as she tries to smile.
“No, I have to.” She closes her eyes as if she’s still convincing herself. “Do you remember?” She takes a deep breath before continuing. I can’t help myself at this point. I pull her hands towards me until she’s engulfed in my arms. I just hold her tightly. This is the first contact I’ve had with her for a week. “Do you remember when Will and I were whispering, before?” I nod as I press my lips to her pretty blond head. “He made me promise him. He made me promise I would get help. He said it was not only for me, but for you too. And him.”
God it’s all so clear now. Before she was released, she was talking with the doctors about a discrete drug rehabilitation facility. She insisted we get her signed up as soon as we found out when the funeral was. “It is going to be okay sis. We are going to pick up where we left off, just like he asked us to. You just have to trust me okay?”
She tightens her hold on me as she cries. “I’ve always trusted you Brennan. You’re my guardian angel. And now we both have one with us everywhere we go.”
Now
“That’s not it Dumbass.” Matt spouts off to Drew who is trying to give him directions to the house.
“The hell it isn’t Matt” Drew says, pointing at his phone.
I open my phone up to look at the picture t
ext Jenna sent me before we left. Then I look out the window. “Guys, the house is right over there.” I reach over and point to the house that sits three driveways down.
The house is in the middle of suburb Seattle. Jenna wanted a nice, quiet, normal life up here. That was one of her stipulations for moving her out of Los Angeles. She bought it sight unseen, but the realtor had said that she loved our band so much that she wouldn’t do us wrong. And by the looks of the house, she was right. It’s exactly the way Jenna described it.
It’s a homely, two story tan house with red trim. There’s a huge oak tree in the front yard with a wooden swing bench hanging from it. It holds a large window downstairs by the front door and three smaller upstairs windows. I’ll give you something about Jenna, she gets what she wants. Well, mostly everything.
“I got first bedroom pick.” Matt says as he runs to the front door.
“Fuck you man, I do!” Drew argues.
“I don’t care which room I get as long as it’s next to Jems.” Gabe calls out as he closes the door to the Escalade. Immediately, I turn around and walk towards him. He raises his hands in defense. “What? I was just kidding.”
“You better fucking be kidding Gabriel. You are still replaceable, remember that.” I turn around to see Matt and Drew laughing at me. I begin to shake my head at them, fuckers. They all think I’m stupid and have no idea what goes on between Gabe and Jenna, and I’ll be damned if anyone of these fucktards touch my baby sister under my nose. “I get first pick. Period. The master is hers. Then I don’t give a shit who gets what.” I finish as I put the key in the lock.
We made our way inside the living room. “Impressive Jenna” Matt said as he walked past the living room and took one step into the kitchen. “Bren, man, you have got to see this! Your sister is a God!” I follow him inside the oversized kitchen. Every piece of appliance is state of the art with granite counter tops.
“Guess she did you well, huh man?” I say as I pat him on the back making my way to the sliding glass door. “Looks like Jenna did the rest of us pretty damn well too. Check it out.” I slide the door open and step out into the back patio. Directly to the left of the door was an outdoor built-in barbeque bar. “Classic sis.” I say to myself.
“Oh, no way man! This is sick!” Gabe grins as he takes a seat at the lounge chair facing the pool.
“Don’t get too comfortable man, we’ve got a truck to unload.” I pull him out of the chair. “But not until after I pick my room first.”
As I’m waiting to hear from Jenna, my legs shake vigorously in our new living room. I knew this was a bad idea letting her drive from LA to Seattle alone. I sent her a threatening text this morning letting her know that if she didn’t respond, I would take no measures to look for her. I know she’s fucking with me, I should have made her take Matt, no Gabe, no what the hell am I thinking? Drew, I should have sent her with Drew.
After receiving a voicemail this morning, Jenna isn’t the only thing I’m worried about. Will’s mom called while we were driving here. The asshole that hit us is fighting his parent’s lawsuit and she doesn’t know how to deal with this. Just the thought of Jenna driving alone knowing there are assholes out there driving carelessly is increasing my anxiety level.
“She’s here!” Matt yells. He’s been staring out the window waiting for her anxiously as well. We all have been on edge since we haven’t heard from her since last night. I stand as he turns around, bends down and tosses my Nerf gun at me.
I chuckle as we line up for the attack. “Ready?” I ask the guys.
“Oh Yeah.” Drew says.
“Dude, I was born ready.” Gabe laughs.
“Let’s do this!” Matt says as we wait for the traditional honk… and there it is.
We all grin devilishly at each other. Matt then pushes open the front door and we all run out and make our way around her car.
“Jenna, Get out of the car and no one gets hurt.” Gabe orders.
“Boys, boys, boys. When will you learn? I’ve got this.” She replies.
Oh shit! She jumps out of the car with a Nerf Machine gun. With the trigger in place, she makes her way in a circular pattern hitting us all along the way. Dropping the gun once she’s out of darts, she attempts to make her way to the door. But you can’t beat the speed of Drew. We follow her shooting our darts at her in the process as he comes up from behind her.
“Oh no you don’t.” he says to her as he lifts her up over his shoulder. Immediately, I run around the both of them to open the gate. Laughing my ass off as they walk around us she begins to scream.
“My phone!” she screeches. Instinctively, I reach in and grab her phone out of her front pocket then give Drew the go ahead. Within seconds, Jenna is flying into the air, landing in the cold water. We turned on the Jacuzzi a few hours ago so the pool water is still cold.
She rises from the water with a fury. By this time, the guys and I are rolling on the ground laughing so hard we don’t even register her yelling at us about her owning the house and kicking us out. Our laughter keeps going on when she climbs out of the pool and into the warmer water. She observes us in our fit and begins to giggle along with us.
This is exactly what we needed. A fresh start for all of us.
A New Beginning
Jenna
The guys arrived in Seattle a few days ago. I still had a few ends to tie up here so I stayed back to get that done. Plus, I did not really want to deal with the four of them the entire way up. So instead of riding along with the guys, I packed up my car with just the necessities I needed, and drove along the ocean side, taking my sweet time until I finally made my way into Seattle.
It was a pleasant, quiet, serene drive. I stopped when I wanted to and drove as fast as I desired. Brennan put up a fight insisting that I at least stopped at sundown so I can get some proper rest. But I stopped to rest when I needed. As it was, I had to pull over and check in with him every hour so I either called him or send him a text telling him where I was at and I was ok. That was the deal with me driving solo.
I understand why Brennan is always overprotective. We are all we have, no parents to speak of. Well, not anymore anyways. Mom took off on my dad, Brennan and I when I was five. And dad? Well, he’s been long gone as well. Once I became a teenager, and started my period, he decided that he was in no place to raise a teenage girl, so he bolted to Mexico or somewhere like that. We will never know. According to Brennan, he grabbed his keys and bolted one morning while I was in school.
Brennan is three and a half years older than me, and at barely eighteen became my new legal guardian. He refused to allow anyone to split us up. I wouldn’t want it any other way. He fought tooth and nail to keep me for almost a year before the social worker finally opened her eyes and let us stay together. He worked his ass off keeping the bills paid, food on the table and clothes for his little sister. All I had to do was sing for his band and tweak his work.
Pulling up into the driveway of the new house, I honk my horn, letting the goofballs know I have officially made it. Something I have always done as long as I can remember. I had refused to call or text them for the last several hours, making them freak the out, Brennan for sure. And of course, the last text made me laugh so hard; I almost caved and called them just to let them know how stupid they were.
JENNA MUNSON!!!! IF YOU DO NOT PICK UP YOUR PHONE, WE WILL CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD, THE STATE POLICE AND THAT FUCKED UP BOUNTY HUNTER DUDE YOU USE TO WATCH TO FIND YOUR ASS!!!!!!!! CALL ME NOW!!!
Oh yeah, I love you! B
I mean, really? Who would not reply? Just like clockwork, every time I honk, I can count down… three…two…one… Bingo, four, count them, four full grown men come running out of the house with Nerf guns in hand. They all run around my car getting into “position” to attack.
“Jenna, get out of the car and no one gets hurt”. Gabriel, our band’s guitarist, orders.
“Boys, Boys, Boys, when will you learn, I’ve got this.” Jumping out of the
car with my ammo belt over my shoulder, I take my Nerf machine gun and fully unload it on them! In a full fit of giggles, I attempt to make a quick escape, I try to sprint to the front door which was still slightly open since they had run out, only to fail epically as I’m hit by a few dozen darts and hoisted up on Drew’s, our new bassist, shoulders.
“Oh No you don’t!” He says as he smacks me on the ass and heads towards the backyard where our new pool sits.
“Put me down Drew! You Dick!” I hit him on his in return as I listen to them all laugh. Brennan runs around the front of us and opens the side gate of the house. “I swear if you do not put me down, you will lose best friend status immediately!”
“You know she’s going to kill us all for this right?” Matt, our drummer, says.
“You bet your asses I am!!!” I holler. With all four of them laughing, once I remember my phone is in my pocket, I begin to squeal “MY PHONE!!!!” Brennan reaches into my front pocket and pulls it out just seconds before I make the plunge into the water.
I come to the surface “Holy Shit!!” I yell with a screech as I begin to swim to the Jacuzzi to warm up. They obviously had this planned because the temperature of the Jacuzzi is perfect.
Brennan is literally rolling around on the grass, “You had to have a pool here in Seattle sis.” I can barely make out what he said through his laughter.
“I also made sure the house was in only my name, so I can kick your asses out at any time.” I fume in return. “Someone better have a towel for me.” I can’t help but begin to laugh when I see all four of them almost pissing themselves in laughter. Thinking to myself, maybe this move was a good idea for all of us, I begin to giggle with them.
It wasn’t so long ago, our world was falling apart. But piece by piece, unfortunately after a loss of a dear family member, we realized we can put the pieces together. As long as we hold each other’s hand when we needed it the most, we knew we could push thru the bad together as a whole and deal with it with the support we each need in order to fully heal.
