by Savana Jade
This morning was awfully quiet. Matt made a nice breakfast so we did not have to stop later, French toast, bacon, sausage, eggs and hash browns. We all kept to ourselves for the most part. Drew sat next to me alongside Brennan. Gabe and Matt sat across from us. All eyes seemed to be on me more than Brennan. I guess that is the same reason why Drew agreed to be my driving partner. I think they have a feeling I am going to snap and take something.
After breakfast, Gabe and I washed the dishes in silence as the rest of the group loaded the vehicles. That too was an extremely quiet chore. I washed; he dried and put the dishes away. We both emptied out any perishable food from the refrigerator and cleaned out the garbage cans. Yesterday, we had walked over to the neighbor’s house and asked them if they could tend to the house for us and collect any mail. They agreed and wished us safe travels.
After our housework was done, we ran to the local grocery store to buy some snacks and drinks to take in small ice chests in the back seats. We also bought some walkie-talkies for the trip so we can chat during the drive. So far the speakers have been filled with the joyful sound of burps, me included of course. I actually am the reigning leader in longest burp in the house. It was a surprising shock to Drew when first came to rehearsals and I had belted the alphabet. The look on his face was priceless.
“I didn’t think women burped like that.” He said in shock
“Jenna here is no ordinary woman.” Matty said as he raised his hand in a high five motion.
“Sorry Drew. I know you had such high hopes for me, but the truth is, I have been raised by guys my whole life. It kind of rubs off on you, you know?” I said with a giggle.
“I officially stand corrected.” Drew responds.
While they were busy burping through the walkie-talkies, I decided to shut them out. I figured some sleep would suit me well since I didn’t sleep last night. Drew lowered the volume to the car radio, reached back and covered me with a blanket. I didn’t quite drift off fully when I heard them talking to each other.
“Is she sleeping?” Brennan asks.
“Yes” Drew answers.
“Has she said anything?”
“No, she hasn’t said a word”
“I am really worried about her Drewbie.” Brennan sounds concerned. I want to turn to let Drew know I will be okay, but I decide to stay quiet instead.
“Bren, she will be fine. Just think of all the shit that she went through in the last few days let alone the last six months. Just don’t treat her like she is fragile, that is what will push her over the edge.” Drew exclaims. He of all people knows how it feels to deal with a drug addiction. And if it was not for him lately, I honestly don’t know where I would be.
“I know man, but shit. She’s my sister. She’s all I have.” I can hear the fear in his voice. “I can’t risk losing her again.”
“You have us too. But I get it man, I get it. Just give her some credit. Every day is a challenge for us, if you only understood how bad we get the urge to use; you would give her kudos for how well she has done.” Drew says.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Just let me know when she wakes. Like push the beep button a few times. And if she speaks, give us three. Okay?” Brennan asks.
“Sure man, no problem Bren.” He says before placing it in the center console between us. I slowly drift off to sleep.
A few hours later, we have stopped to stretch and eat lunch somewhere in the northern part of Idaho. On our way into the restaurant, Gabe walks up behind me placing his arms on my shoulders. Brennan is in the restroom so he is unaware of the affection. As we walk to take our seats, he leans down to my ear and instead of kissing me as I thought he would do, he whispers.
“Are you okay angel?” Instinctively I lean into him and answer.
“Yes. I am doing fine Gabriel.” Then he kisses me softly on my neck before releasing me.
“Okay. I’m just checking to make sure.” He says before sliding in the corner booth. Gabe has been on edge since the night in the Jacuzzi. He says he is fine, but I get a weird feeling he does not really want to visit his family. It makes me wonder if he is ashamed of us and our band or if he is ashamed of his family. The waitress comes up and takes our order, but not without blushing at the guys and their flirty ways.
“God guys, can you just be normal for once?” I ask as I slide myself out of the booth to use the restroom. “Bren, can you order for me if she comes back please? I’ll be right back.” He nods before I walk away.
I relieve myself and freshen up a bit before walking back to the booth. When I return, Gabe has the waitress sitting beside him while he openly flirts with her. He has her pen in his hand and is jotting down a number on her tablet. My heart suddenly feels heavy. I know I told him there was nothing between us anymore, but I was hoping in some way he would have shown himself and kept fighting for us. He glances up and his entire posture stiffens. She stands and thanks him. I refuse to make eye contact with him when I slide in. Suddenly I’m not hungry.
When the food arrives, the guys dig in. My appetite still hasn’t come back and my blood pressure has not gone down either. Not five minutes before finding her on his lap, he was over my shoulder kissing my neck. I’m not sure what kind of game he is playing, but I am done with it.
“Gonna eat that Jems?” Matt asks.
“Not hungry anymore.” I answer looking down at my bacon cheeseburger and fries as I play with a French fry in my ketchup.
“She needs to eat.” Brennan says sternly. “Jenna you have to eat.” I look up at him with narrow eyes. “It’s your turn to drive, you need the energy.”
“I am not hungry.” I snap back.
“I said eat! Who gives a shit what happens over there?” He tosses a fry towards Gabe. “He gave Matt’s number to her anyways.”
“What?” I ask. Then turn my head to Gabe. He shrugs.
“She wanted his number so I asked her to take a seat and I would give it to her. No big deal.” He says dryly. No big deal? Why do men have to be so difficult? “So what? It’s not like you and I are anything anyways right?”
Brennan begins to chuckle and I decide right now is the time to give him a Charlie-horse. He jumps and I begin to laugh, truly laugh. His anger suddenly subsides and he begins laughing along with me. The rest of the guys join in as well and I decide to take a bite of my food. Drew looks over to Brennan and nods over in my direction. I eye those two quickly before turning back to my lunch. I am starving after all.
While Brennan stays inside to pay for lunch, the rest of us walk out to the cars. Technically it’s my turn to drive, but Gabe has offered to take over driving on my car so Drew can take his spot in the escalade. We stand outside the cars quietly. Brennan walks out; we get in our cars and leave.
The tension in the car is thick. I have no idea why I agreed to ride along with Gabe. I should have let Drew stay in the car and I could have rode along with the other guys. I sit uncomfortably in the passenger seat and fidget with my phone. He takes his iPod and connects it up to my car stereo and blasts his music. Country music, great. I try to ignore his choice of music for as long as I can until I just cannot take any longer. So I reach over and turn the volume knob and lower it. He looks in my direction before taking the knob and turning it back up.
“Really?” I ask.
“What?” He questions my expression.
“For one, its country music, no that’s not even current country music. This is old school music Gabe. Who listens to this anyways? Especially at our age.” I cringe. “And, do we have to listen to it so loudly? My poor ears are being double tortured.”
“Angel, you better get used to it, because in about a day or so, when we get into Kansas, you will be listening to it a lot.” He says. Finally he mentions his home.
“Are you saying that there is not even one rock station around?”
“There are a few, but the reception is shitty.”
“Thank God I have my iPod and music apps then.” I say. He shrugs and
grips the wheel as he stares onto the road. Something is definitely bothering him about this trip. I decide to push it aside for now. I reach for my iPod and ear buds. I turn it on and stare out the window and lose myself in my music and he turns his music back up.
A few more hours pass and we stop for a restroom break and fill up the gas tanks. I decide it’s my turn to drive. Gabe has decided to stay with me again. I honestly don’t know how much we can handle in the awkward silence any more, but I choose not to argue the issue. Matty offered to ride along with me, but Gabe told him that he could take the back seat in the SUV and sleep. We pick up a few things from the convenient store and top off our tanks. I take my seat behind the wheel and wait for Gabe to grab his pillow from the back seat. Once he settles in the car, we take off.
We have been on the road for about an hour or so. I decide now is the time to ask some questions. He is relaxed resting his head on the pillow that’s wedged between his head and the window. So carefully, I lower the volume of the stereo.
“Gabe.”
“Hmmm?”
“Why don’t you want us to go to Kansas?” I ask softly.
We sit in silence for about a full minute before he answers.
“I’m still not sure I’m welcome.” He answers honestly.
“Can I ask why?”
“Do I have to answer?” He asks.
“No, but it would be nice to know ahead of time what we will be walking in on. You know?” He sits silent for a few more minutes with his eyes closed. I actually think he may have fallen asleep, so I decide to let it go. Then he answers.
“When I left, it wasn’t on the best of terms. My dad told me that I was not going to amount to anything by leaving. And mom, well she just cried but I’m not sure if she cried because I was leaving or...” I remain silent waiting for him to continue. Just before I say something he begins again. “I guess you’ll find out soon enough right?” he chuckles slightly. “My ex. Well, she started a bad rumor about me, and it was not true. And for some strange fucked up reason, my parents believed her. My sisters of course believed me. I didn’t want to end up like the rest, so I left. They all knew I didn’t belong working in a grain factory or on the farm like my dad did. That’s not who I am. This,” He points to his chest. “This is who I am.”
I stare out onto the open road as I absorb this new information. For some reason, I do not dare ask what the rumor was, so I just leave it be.
“Do you think they will welcome us?” I ask.
“I told you they would. Ashley said mom started crying when she heard about us coming.” He’s looking over at me now. Ashley is his older sister. Even though I haven’t met her, I adore her tremendously. We even exchanged numbers a while back so we didn’t have to bother Gabe with our conversations on his phone anymore.
“What about you Gabe? You have to have missed your parents, not just your sisters.” I ask. “I mean, I know I for one can’t wait to finally meet Ashley and Emily. They already feel like family to me.”
“I am… I’m happy to see them. But angel,” he reaches over and takes my hand. “My family is here now though. You, Bren, Matt and Drew, this is my family. You accept me for who I am, not what you want me to be.” We interlock fingers and I don’t object. Ever since we spoke out in the front yard, he has been so distant. And to be honest, I have missed this. I gently squeeze his hand.
“You are family Gabriel. You have been since day one.” I smile at him before continuing. “But as much as we are your family, you have two sisters that adore you to pieces and you have parents that love you. I know it doesn’t seem like they do sometimes, but you still have them. Maybe this will be different with them you know? Just keep an open mind, okay?”
He shifts his body towards me, and rests his head on my shoulder. “I will try, but I won’t guarantee anything.” He says before sliding his head down onto my lap. Suddenly the walkie-talkie goes off.
“Um, excuse me, but where the hell did Gabe put his head just now?” Brennan chimes in. Gabe looks up to me when I look down at him and we both begin to laugh.
“He is resting Brennan.” I say when Gabe lifts his arm up and waves through the back window I start laughing harder. He takes the walkie from me and pushes the button.
“No really man, I’m giving your sister head. Didn’t you see her whip it out just now? You better be jealous man, she’s got a bigger package than you.” I am so shocked at him I end up slapping him in the stomach. “Ouch!”
“Be nice.” I cry with laughter. He winks and laughs harder. We can hear Drew and Matt laughing in the background when Brennan starts answering.
“Yeah fuck you man. She’s got a bigger package than us all.” He answers with a laugh as I raise my middle finger through the window. I take the walkie again and reply.
“Screw you all. I will kick all your asses if you keep it up.”
“Bring it sis.” Brennan says. I throw the walkie onto Gabe’s stomach. He catches it, gets himself more comfortable and closes his eyes.
I look down at him and smile. This is the Gabe I want. Carefree, not pushy and not making me jealous of every girl that he talks to. It’s just him and me, it fits. I rest my arm on his shoulder as I feel his head begin to get heavy and reflexively I begin to run my fingers through his hair. He hums his approval before falling in a deeper sleep.
We drive nonstop until about six in the evening when I finally ask to stop for the night. Drew and Gabe agree, but Brennan and Matt want to just continue on. I finally put my foot down and tell them I will not sit in the car for another minute unless I get some sleep in a real bed. With a heavy sigh and a few huffs here and there, we pull into a hotel somewhere in Wyoming. I am starving and tired. The guys decide that it’s best to order food and bring it to the hotel rooms.
We have three rooms, Drew and Gabe are in one, Matt and Brennan in another and I have a room to myself. Drew and Gabe’s room is across from mine and next door to the other boys’ room. As soon as I drop my bag on my bed, I immediately flop down next to it. It feels so good to stretch after being in a car for an entire day. I purposely left the door propped open so the guys can come in because they usually migrate my way anyways. Within minutes, all four are laying on my adjoining bed and love seat talking about what to get for dinner. I let them know that I really don’t care and get my things ready to take a shower. Gabe and Drew decide to stay behind while Bren and Matty get dinner.
The shower feels great. I usually take quick showers but tonight, I decide to pamper myself by letting the water run over my aching body a bit longer. After shutting the water off, I wrap a towel loosely around myself before walking out to what I thought was an empty room. When I see Gabe laying on my bed. His head resting on the headboard with his hands behind his head. I jump in shock and my towel falls to the floor. Great. Immediately, he is at my feet picking my towel up and wrapping it around my body laughing.
“What the hell Gabe! What are you doing in here? I thought you were taking a shower yourself.”
“Drew beat me to it, and I had your spare key, so I figured I would come in here and keep you company. I didn’t realize you were going to take up all the hot water in the hotel.” He says rubbing my shoulders dry with the towel. I back away from him. “But I am glad I got to see you drop your towel for me. Good thing it wasn’t for Drew or Matt huh”
“You couldn’t keep yourself company in your own room? Geez, you scared the shit out of me.” I say ignoring his towel comment walking to my bag and grabbing my panties and sleepwear. When I grab what I need, I turn to walk back to the bathroom because obviously Gabe isn’t going anywhere.
“No, I just wanted to be with you.” He says honestly as he leans back on the bed and turns on the TV.
“Not like we didn’t spend the entire day together in the car.”
“That’s different.”
I dress quickly and walk back into the room. Drew comes in a few minutes later and Gabe leaves to take his shower. About five minutes after th
at, they all walk in with dinner. They decided on Mexican food and I couldn’t have been happier. I am starving when the aroma hits me. We all sat silently and ate quickly. When we finish, Brennan and Matt leave to take their showers. Brennan takes his in the vacant room.
“I saw a miniature golf place down the street. We should go.” Drew says.
“Oh my God, I’m stuffed. You guys can go, but I don’t think I can move.” I groan.
“Come on Jems. It would do you good to stretch your legs.” He argues. I think about it for a minute when I decide he’s right.
“Okay fine.”
We wait for everyone to get ready before we head down to the fun center. Matt picks the hardest course because he thinks it’s the easiest. We get our putters and balls and begin playing. Brennan suddenly doesn’t feel well, so when I offer to take him home, he declines. Drew says he has a headache and he goes along with Brennan back to the hotel.
“Fuck this, I saw some hotties in the arcade. I’ll catch you guys later. Text me when you’re done.” Matt says before jogging off.
“What the hell Matt?” He laughs and runs off. I look over to Gabe and he shrugs.
“Guess it’s just you and me angel.” He says.
“Guess so.” I smile up at him. “This will be an easy win.” He grins.
“We will see about that.” We decide to make it fair and start from the beginning. At about half way through, he adds the total and realized I am winning by four points. I giggle when he begins to pout.
“I told you it would be easy. I’ve been going easy on you.” He looks over at me, raises his eyebrows before walking right in front of me. Our chests are practically touching by now and my heart beat has definitely picked up speed. He leans down and rests his cheek on mine and whispers. “You’re up angel.” He kisses just below my ear. Damn him for knowing where my favorite spot is. “If it’s not a hole in one every time you putt, you may lose.” I look up at him, trying to look unaffected but failing miserably. I try to calm my nerves as I take a step back and walk towards the pink ball.
