by Savana Jade
He begins to trail kisses across my collar bone as he slowly removes my bra. My chest rises and falls with each touch. As the song morphs into another love song, he slowly lays me on the bed and trails kisses down my body as he removes the remaining of our clothing, crawling back over me, he rests his forehead on mine as he takes my face in his hands. “I love you Jenna.” He says as we begin to make sweet, sweet love…
Secrets
Gabe is sound asleep on my chest when I wake. Our bodies are intertwined under the sheets. Slowly, I trail my fingers over the definitions of his back. I smile down at him as he shifts his body over mine when I find a sensitive area. I try to keep my giggles quiet as I trace my fingers lightly over his sensitive area again. This time he shifts onto his back, lying next to me. Quietly I shift onto my elbow and run my fingers along his abdomen towards the v that’s half hidden under the sheet. His hand immediately stops mine in its tracks. “Having fun?”
“Actually, yeah.” I say trailing my eyes up his body meeting his sleepy eyes that are watching me. “Good morning. Sleep well?” I ask.
His sleepy face morphs into a very satisfied face. “Actually, I slept exceptionally well.” He pulls at the sheet that’s covering my chest. “But the best part is waking up.” He trails his hand along my shoulder down to my chest, causing my skin to perk up.
“Yes, I have to agree, waking up does have its advantages.” I agree.
He lifts his body onto his elbow so we’re face to face. “So,” he says taking the sheet and covering the both of us as he pushes me onto my back and rests between my legs. I can feel his arousal between my legs. “Think we can top what we did last night?”
I pull him down to me. “I think we can at least try.” I kiss him softly. We quietly replay the events that happened the night before. Of course, until the door swings open causing Gabe and I to freeze.
“Oh shit. Sorry man.” Matt says. “I um.” He cover’s his face with his hand as he enters the room.
“Um? Really man. That’s all you got? Do you mind?” Gabe says covering us up making sure Matt see’s nothing. I tuck my face into his chest out of embarrassment.
“I just needed to grab.” Matt says.
“Matty!” I holler. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait.”
“Oh, yeah. I guess it can.” He says walking back, closing the door. He opens it again and whispers. “Sorry.”
Gabe looks down at me and we both start to laugh. “Well, that sucked.” He says rolling off of me.
“Maybe we should wait.” I say as I roll myself to lie on his arm. “I’m going to take a shower. Maybe you should see what he wanted. Before he tells Brennan.”
He kisses the top of my head before getting up and dressing. “I guess you’re right.” I sigh as I watch him dress. He turns to me and grins. “Enjoying the show?” He chuckles at me when I hide under the pillow embarrassed. He makes his way towards me and pulls the pillow away from my red face. “Hey,” He lays over me fully dressed now. I stare into his eyes, I see nothing but love in them. “I love the way you look at me.” He leans down and kisses my nose. “It’s hot, plus no one has ever looked at me the way you have. I feel…” He takes a second to find the word, “loved.”
I cup his cheek in my hand. “That’s because I do love you. I always have. You’re my best friend Gabe. You know me more than I know myself at times. I adore you.”
“I love you too angel.” He says kissing me swiftly before rising from the bed. “Hurry up and get showered. I miss you already.” He walks out and closes the door behind him.
Once showered and dressed, I make my way downstairs. When I almost get to the bottom, I hear Ashley and Maria talking about last night’s events. I stop at the base of the stairs as I hear Ashley say “She doesn’t know momma. He hasn’t told her.”
“He will tell her. He has to.” Maria says. There is something he isn’t telling me. Whatever it is, is obviously a part of his past and not a part of him now. As intrigued as I am, it’s best if I let it go until he decides to tell me.
“I hope so. You should have seen her last night. She was amazing. She is so spunky.” Her voice sounds like she’s proud. “She totally put Carmen in her place.” I smile after hearing that. Then I decide it’s time to make my presence known as I take the steps down to the bottom. “Good morning Jenna.” Ashley says smiling.
I return her smile and say good morning to them both before looking for my family. When I reach the kitchen, Gabe, Brennan Matt and Drew are sitting around the kitchen table with Emily and her computer.
“Morning Jems. Take a look at this. Emily is showing us some pictures that people took last night.” Brennan says with joy. I walk over and instead of sitting between him and Gabe; Gabe pulls me onto his lap. Looking on the screen, my face lights up with all the pictures taken. They are amazing.
“They are awesome right?” Emily says. I nod as they scroll down the screen.
“They are fantastic Emily. Did they all come from last night? And where are they displayed on? I’ve never seen this page before.” I ask bewildered.
Giggling she replies, “Well, I am a teenager after all.” I glance over just in time to see her rolling her eyes at me. “And I kind of set the page up a few years ago when Gabriel told me about the band. He’s sent pics of the group. But I’ve gotten most of them off the internet.” My attention immediately shift’s to Gabe.
“You knew about this?” He shrugs.
“I did, but not until just before the accident. Then I forgot about it.” He holds hands up innocently. “Honest.”
“Well, I think its amazing Emily.” Matt says proudly. Emily gleams with pride. I think Matt has a little band crush.
Maria saunters into the kitchen. “Are we ready kids? Church begins in a little bit, but Tony and I wanted to take you to breakfast first.” She says smiling at Tony who I swear, every time he looks at his wife, has a twinkle in his eye. It’s the same look I recognize when I catch Gabriel looking at me.
“Corner Café?” Gabe asks and they both nod in unison. He then pushes me up off him as if he’s never eaten a meal in his life. “Let’s go then.” He takes my hand and before we know it, we are on our way to the Corner Café.
Breakfast was delicious. I swear the Corner Café has the best French toast ever. It’s definitely a place to brag about. We finished our breakfast and made our way to church just in time. As our newly grown family takes a whole row at church as we sit with full bellies.
Most of the fellowship we’ve met already, so the majority of the greetings this morning were congratulations on last night’s performances. Gabe who hasn’t left my side all morning has my hand in his resting on his lap. I’m a bit nervous about being here. Brennan I are not church going people by any means of the word. It’s not anyone’s fault, but the way we were brought up, pretty much by each other, it just never fit in.
“Jems.” Gabe says snapping me out of my thoughts. “Relax baby. You’re not going to hell or anything.” He says chuckling. I roll my eyes at him.
“I know I’m not. If I was, I would have been struck down upon entering.” I reply sarcastically. He places his arm over my shoulder and begins rubbing it softly calming my nerves.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous.”
“I’m not nervous really.” He raises a brow at me. “I’m not. I just feel like I’m out of my element.” I answer honestly. He leans in and kisses my cheek as the music begins.
The Gonzales’ church is more of a modern style church that plays more contemporary music. Some of the songs I’ve even heard on the local radio stations. After a handful of songs, the pastor begins by welcoming everyone. He extends his warmest welcome over to Gabriel and his group and thanks us again for our impromptu concert. We all smile in acknowledgement and nod. Once he begins his sermon, my nerves have calmed. Of course, Gabe’s relentless rubbing of my shoulder has helped well.
“Now for something special for us on this beautiful morning, As
hley Gonzales has agreed to sing a song for us today to finish off a wonderful weekend of their family reunion. And at her request, she has asked for a singing partner.” The pastor says. My heart freezes immediately. Oh no. Singing in a barn and on stage is completely different than singing in church. Ashley leans over and looks at me with her puppy dog eyes. The same eyes Gabe gives me when he knows I will cave. Damn, this must be another Gonzales trait.
“Please Jenna. Will you do me the honor and sing with me.” By now, the entire row and their eyes are staring at me. One half is favoring the puppy dog eyes, and the other pairs of eyes are enjoying the “Lets embarrass Jenna” moment. With a heavy sigh, I first shake my head, and then agree. I mean, if I don’t then I’m truly destined for hell, right?
She stands and takes my hand as Gabe kisses my cheek before we walk towards the back. As music begins to play with a live band this time, she explains which song will be sung. Thankfully, it’s a song I am familiar with since it’s been played on the radio for months on end. “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. She tells me that there will be a couple of songs to be sung before this one. She had planned it that way to give me enough time to prepare my vocals, which we do in a quiet corner for a few minutes.
Quietly, she takes my hand and walk on the stage. One of the band members places a second microphone stand center stage. “Just breathe Jenna.” She smiles kindly at me. I take a deep cleansing breath and smile back. The music begins and she points to the backside of the room, which ironically has a screen similar to the two screens at the front of the church that has the lyrics. She begins with the song, I follow. We sing our hearts out. There really is a difference when you are standing in a church and you are singing to a spiritual being rather than thousands of screaming fans. Once finished, a standing ovation fills the room. She hugs me tightly and thanks me again for singing with her.
The pastor takes the microphone as we all take our seats again and says he never thought he would have not only one, but two angelic voices singing at the same time. His kind words melt my heart. As I make my way back to Gabe, the guys’ all give me a congratulatory high five or knuckles. I finally make my way to Gabe and he has nothing but pride on his face. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” He says. He always knows what to say to make me fall for him over and over again. I rest my head on his shoulder as we listen to the remaining portion of the sermon.
As soon as it ends, everyone congregates outside. Everyone shakes the pastor’s hand and thank him for his work. We follow suit. He takes Brennan and my hand in his, pulls us to the side and thanks us both for keeping Gabriel safe for his family. He also wanted to offer a silent prayer for our upcoming journey. Apparently, Maria and Tony have been praying for us on a regular basis, and when they found out about the loss of our mother, they decided to share the information with the pastor for extra prayers. Brennan looks at me before the pastor and thanks him just before we bow our head in a silent prayer.
Afterwards, Brennan and I walk back towards the Gonzales family with his arm over my shoulder and mine around his waist. We both agree how nice it was for the pastor to offer a prayer, not for our mom, but for us. He prayed for strength for Brennan and I, which I appreciated greatly.
As we made our way back to the family, the look in Drew, Matt and Gabe’s eyes were filled with sorrow. They understood the torment Brennan and I have gone through on the issue. Unfortunately, Drew brought up the issue since it was already on the surface.
“When are we heading out?” he asks. I look over at Brennan and shrug. “There’s no rush. Dad’s already there with mom. Matt’s parents are there as well. They decided to go out a little bit before us to get as much done as they could so you didn’t have to do much at all.” He finishes.
Brennan answered before me. “I was thinking a few more days here?” he looks over to Gabe and Ashley. “Does that sound okay?” Gabe and Ashley look at each before turning to us and agree. Just as we finalize that we will be leaving on Wednesday, we make our way to the center of the Square where a traditional picnic takes place after service every Sunday. It seems like time literally has stood still in this town. We sit and stand around our picnic table and blanket that’s laid beside is when a small boy comes running across the lawn.
“Papa!” he says quite loudly causing us all to turn and see who he was referring to since it seemed like he was running straight towards us. “Gamma.” The young boy calls out again.
Tony crouches down and pulls the young boy in his arms. “LG, how are you son?” my heart stops. Did Tony just say LG? No, it couldn’t be. Trailing my eyes over to Brennan who is eying the two in their embrace.
Immediately, Brennan says. “Um, Ashley. Who’s that?” She turns slowly as if everything is now in slow motion and before she makes eye contact with Brennan, she does with Gabe’s. My eyes follow. I swear he has now lost all color in his face as his eyes stare down at his father and young boy. “Ash, is he a relative?” he asks again.
She frowns as she shakes her head and shrugs. My mind suddenly clicks and my heart stops as the look on Ashley’s face tells us this young boy somehow is a part of their lives. “Ashley.” I say so quietly, I’m not sure if she heard me. “Who is that?” My eyes are glued to Gabe’s face as I wait for an answer. He keeps his face down purposely making sure he doesn’t make eye contact with me.
“That’s LG.” she says with a shaky voice. I roll my eyes breaking eye contact with Gabe as I glare at her for stating the obvious, she continues. “He is Carmen’s son.” She explains, but what she hasn’t explained was what the initials LG stood for. As if she was reading my mind, she finishes. “LG is short for Little Gabriel.”
I take a step back as my breath hitches and gets stuck in my throat. I take a deeper look at this little man in front of us. His complexion is olive tone like Gabe’s. His hair is lighter than Gabe’s and he has the greenest eyes. Gabe’s hair and eyes are brown. As if he knew I was making the comparison, Gabe finally turns and steps between me and the young man breaking my view from him. “Jenna, I can explain.”
“How old?” I ask looking straight into Gabriel’s eyes insisting on answers.
“What?” he asks.
“How old is he?” I ask narrowing my eyes as I watch Gabe’s eyes gloss over. I do my best at keeping my tears at bay, for now. “How old is he Gabriel?” I order him to answer.
His expression drops into a frown and he answers the question with the slightest whisper. “He’s about six and a half.”
A single tear falls from my face. From the corner of my eye, I see a figure walking towards us. Carmen. Boy does she have the best timing. She walks up to the group with a smirk on her face. This is exactly what she wanted. Maria must have noticed the tension in the air when she decides to leave the boy and turn to face me.
“Jenna dear, just hear Gabriel out.” She says concerned. My eyes are locked onto Gabriel as the fight or flight emotions have flooded my senses.
Without taking my eyes off his, I answer his mother’s request. “With all due respect Mrs. Gonzales, I don’t think that there is anything Gabriel can say that will salvage what’s standing behind you right now.” With those words, a tear falls from his glossed over eyes.
Brennan rests his hands on my shoulders causing me to tense up. “Jenna, maybe now’s not the right time.” He motions to our surroundings. “Maybe we should go back to the house so he can explain better.”
Immediately I tense up and shrug out of his hold. “Now’s not the right time?” I say turning to glare at Brennan. “Are you kidding me? When Brennan?” I say pointing back to Gabe. “When is the right time to tell me that there is a child whom by the way shares the same name as he does, call his parents grandma and grandpa?”
Brennan’s sorry eyes trail over to Ashley. “I don’t know what to say Jems. But there’s got to be an explanation for all of this.” He looks over to Gabe. “If what you told me the other day is true, then there has to be an explanation, right?”
he asks Gabe. Gabe doesn’t respond, but continues to keep eye contact with me.
I raise my arms in the air. “You know what? No. I don’t need an explanation Bren.” Turning to Gabe, my heart breaks as I look into his worrisome eyes. “Seven years Gabe. Seven years to tell us you had a kid. Good God Gabriel, you even saw Matty struggle with Willow and Dani. But you said nothing. Is this why you left all those years ago? Because of him?” His shaking body takes a step towards me.
“No, don’t you remember what I told you last night?” My mind drifts back to the events last night. He said she cheated on him. But that solves nothing for me.
“So? She cheated on you. That’s all you told me.” I take a step away from him. “Nothing like, Oh by the way she cheated on me but she was still carrying my kid.”
“Damn it Jenna. Please don’t do this.” He begs. “Please let me explain.”
“Don’t do this? No Gabe, I am not the one that has done anything wrong here, you have. You kept a viable piece of information from us. Do you honestly think that we would have kept you away from here this long if we knew? You know how important family is to us Gabriel, especially how important it is to have no parents in a child’s life.” And with that, I turn and walk away. From the voice behind me, Gabe begins to follow before Matt stops him to leave me be.
“Just let her chill man. If you follow her now, you’ll only push her away more.” He says. “What the hell were you thinking? You had us all fooled.”
I walk into town to the local grocery store and buy myself anything that will take the pain away. I settle on a few large bottles of vodka. But what I really need is something a little stronger. For once in my life, I wish I was back at home in California and had my hands on anything to numb me. I never realized this craving could be so strong like it is now. As I open the first bottle of vodka I turn the corner and stop. Gabe, Brennan, Matt and Drew are all walking around town looking for me. Great.
