Nine Ten Begin Again: A Grasshopper Lawns affair

by EJ Lamprey

  ‘Hello Edge Corner,’ a half-familiar voice said slightly maliciously, ‘are you still Mac’s best girl?’

  ‘Hi, Seb. Yes, I am. How’s Hugh?’

  ‘Indiscreet.’ She hadn’t imagined it, there was definitely a malicious note in Seb’s voice. ‘I really hope that series of yours is good, with all the money Mac is borrowing to invest in it. Hugh shouldn’t have told me, I know he shouldn’t, and I shouldn’t be phoning you, but you remember that little conversation we had about hurting him, don’t you?’

  She straightened up, brush in hand, puzzled. ‘Seb, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Donald isn’t investing in the series, not at this point, although he’s trying to free up some funds. I’m putting in some of my capital, and he’s going to be the name on that because he’s got a good reputation for backing stuff, but that’s all. And anyway he never borrows to invest. He has a kind of gambling fund and win or lose, that’s his show money.’

  She could hear Seb breathing as he thought about it. ‘Then why has he borrowed two hundred grand?’

  ‘What!’ She sat down abruptly. ‘That’s a hell of a lot of money, Seb!’

  ‘Yes, Edge, even I, living with a banker, think it’s quite a lot. Why, if not your TV series?’

  Her head was spinning. It was impossible that Donald would do something so completely out of character, risk so much on the series. ‘Doesn’t Hugh know? I thought people had to specify what they were borrowing for as part of the application.’

  ‘He can’t see the details. Mac didn’t come to him for the loan. We did think if Mac was going to borrow huge chunks, he could have done it through Hugh, helped a pal.’

  ‘He would, Seb. No matter what he was borrowing it for, he’d have gone through him. Unless it is for the series, and he didn’t want Hugh to know for some reason, but I can’t believe he would borrow that much. Anyway, how could it have been signed off? When all is said and done, he’s effectively retired. He has no regular income to pay back such a loan, and no bank would consider an untried series an acceptable risk!’

  Another pause, then Seb asked curiously, ‘Then what’s going on?’

  ‘I don’t know. Could Hugh ask whoever processed the loan?’

  ‘No. Mac went through that shit Simon Henderson, which itself was not a very nice thing to do, and which upset Hugh more than the loan itself. He’s pretty rattled at the moment anyway—there are pretty solid rumours flying the bank’s about to be taken over by one of the big houses. That always means a cull, and Sly Si’s been sitting at home on sick leave but actually processing loan applications and is suddenly looking like the golden boy of banking. Nearly twice as many deals as Hugh.’

  Edge drew a deep breath. ‘That changes everything. Seb, can Hugh get a copy of Si’s list?’

  He sounded alarmed. ‘He doesn’t know I phoned you. He’d kill me for passing on something he told me in confidence. And you can’t tell Mac.’

  ‘Seb, I have to. You’re not the only ones who think Simon is very dodgy indeed. And honestly, Donald is going to be very glad you phoned. He’ll think of some story for Hugh that gets round this. You’ve probably saved him a huge amount of trouble.’

  ‘Well, good. I live to serve,’ Seb said gloomily. ‘Tell Mac it has to be a good story, won’t you? Hugh’s quicker on the uptake than you might think.’

  ~~~

  The second session hadn’t yet finished, although they were doing the final stretches. Edge slipped in, smiled at Hamish’s grandson who was whirling round the outskirts, jumping and kicking, and waited until Donald saw her, then pointed upstairs, and he nodded.

  Hamish was on the phone and Edge waved, hesitated, then went across the landing to Frail Care, where William gave her a slightly annoyed look.

  ‘Go away. I’m telling Vivian a long and complicated story that’s supposed to send her to sleep but she’s being stubborn. Her eyelids keep drooping but I’m waiting for the first snore so I can stop.’

  Edge smiled distractedly. ‘She’ll have to stay awake a few minutes longer. William, I wouldn’t ask you to break a confidence, but could you tell me if Donald has borrowed any money?’

  ‘Not that I know.’ His intelligent eyes rested on her thoughtfully. ‘But he once told me he has a horror of debt, so I’d be surprised.’

  ‘That’s what I thought. But according to Seb, Saltire Standard has lent him quite a chunk.’

  ‘How big a chunk? Your series shortfall?’ William looked a little stern, but Edge shook her head impatiently.

  ‘William, set up through Simon. Anyone else, I wouldn’t have said anything, but I thought if Donald arranged a loan through him, of all people, it could be because you and he were planning something.’

  ‘Is Hamish still here?’ Vivian asked sharply, and Edge nodded. Vivian threw back the bedclothes and reached for her dressing-gown. ‘Don’t let him leave, we can check from his computer.’

  ‘Vivian, we can’t ask Hamish to check Donald’s bank balance!’

  ‘Check all our bank balances. We’ve been racking our brains over what Jemima could have been up to. Don’t you see, she could have set up loans with Simon signing them off? Hamish is the only person who can check everyone’s accounts, with nearly everyone away on holiday. I haven’t been able to get to mine yet, and William’s not been advised of anything, but we have to check.’

  ‘Check what?’ Donald came in lightly on cue, zipping up his tracksuit top and Edge pulled him aside to tell him about the call from Seb as William and Vivian hurried across the landing to the office. His eyebrows shot up.

  ‘Donald, he says Hugh will never forgive him if he finds out,’ she finished anxiously and he nodded absently, herding her ahead of him into the main administration office. Katryn’s desk was empty, as she had already left for the Christmas break.

  ‘Everything looks normal.’ Hamish looked across slightly peevishly as they entered. ‘I’d checked already, you know. I’m running much later than I expected, but I was waiting, Megan said Edge wanted to see me. Where’s my grandson, Donald?’

  ‘Jayenthi and Olga took him off for tea and biscuits in the conservatory, they’ll keep him until you collect him,’ Donald said briefly. ‘I didn’t borrow any money. What kind of a check do you do, Hamish?’

  ‘As I was telling Vivian and William, I don’t like to peer at everyone’s bank accounts in detail. It’s a real invasion of privacy, so I set up a fancy link that pulls through the balance on every account, and compares it to the previous day’s balance. I’m re-running it, but every account that’s updated so far is within normal parameters. My system flags up anything that varied by more than ten percent, and I then check those accounts. Yours is normal. They all are.’

  ‘I certainly didn’t get an alert, but you’re very welcome to check the last few transactions on mine.’ William put his iPhone back in his pocket.

  Hamish tapped, then looked puzzled. ‘No activity since February. Have you changed accounts without telling me, or passwords?’

  ‘Yes, you did.’ Edge turned to William. ‘That PayPal scare, back in February. Don’t you remember, we changed all your passwords? You obviously never told Hamish, and as I didn’t even know details were kept, I didn’t know to remind you.’

  ‘Mine, then.’ Vivian said intently. ‘Check the last few transactions on my current account.’

  There was a pause as Hamish bent over the keyboard, then his eyes widened. ‘Wow.’

  ‘What wow?’ Vivian went behind him and her mouth opened. She stared at the others. ‘Three hundred and fifty thousand paid in at nine o’clock this morning, and transferred out fifteen minutes later. How did an amount like that move out of my account without setting off alarms?’

  ‘You can set up an automatic override in advance if you know the exact amount so it won’t trigger the safety protocols. Jemima could have done that weeks ago.’ Hamish was staring at the screen, looking worried.

  ‘Re-routed where, can you tell?’ Donald leaned forward, f
rowning.

  ‘Just a sort code and account number.’ Vivian peered over Hamish’s shoulder. ‘No name, no way of telling.’

  Hamish shook his head. ‘I ken those numbers. The money was transferred into the Trust’s account.’

  ‘Hamish. . .’

  ‘Oh aye, way ahead of you.’ His fingers danced over the keyboard as he opened another window and logged in. He swore aloud, then looked up apologetically. ‘Sorry!’

  ‘How much?’ Vivian waved away the apology.

  ‘There should be around two hundred thousand in here. The balance is sitting at a little over three million.’

  ‘When would you normally have checked again?’

  ‘I haven’t been checking it, not the way I’ve been checking the others. It’s on a different system, and entirely secure. I only log in to make payments, and all the staff were paid early because of the holidays. I doubt I’d have looked at it before the first working day after Christmas. There’s no bank activity worth speaking of over the holidays, but because we’ve been monitoring closely, I would have checked the other accounts tomorrow. I might have looked then. No saying.’

  Donald looked thoughtful. ‘So the money would need to be transferred before tomorrow morning.’

  Hamish shook his head. ‘You can’t just feed in bank details and transfer from this account. Payees have to be set up in advance, and because of the system we created, they have to be verified by two officials.’ He was typing again as he talked and bent closer to peer at the screen. ‘Here’s the list. The accountants, the cleaning agency, all the various utility accounts, the payroll—no-one new. Certainly no Simon Henderson. But from what Vivian said before you came in, yes, Thomas is on that, of course.’

  ‘Are there limits set on how much can be paid?’ William asked alertly and Hamish nodded.

  ‘Different ones on each. Safety, again, because there’s no limit on the Trust account itself, the way it was set up during the construction of the Lawns. The limits are set quite high on the staff accounts, to allow for the bonus scheme, but even so, there can’t be a payment higher than ten thousand pounds to any of the staff.’

  ‘Check Thomas’s limit.’ William leaned forward, his eyes bright. Hamish checked and shrugged.

  ‘Ten thousand pounds.’

  ‘Is Jemima still on the list?’ Donald asked abruptly.

  ‘Well, yes, but her bank accounts will have been frozen after her death. Standard practice. But hang on, I’ll—ah, here we go, and you’re right, there’s no limit on payments that can be made to her Saltire Standard account. I’m drilling into that now—that limit was uncapped back in November. So yes, the balance could be transferred from the Trust account to hers, but it would either be frozen there, or bounce straight back if the account has already been closed. Can’t pay into a closed account.’

  ‘Saltire Standard again.’ Donald got out his mobile phone and pressed buttons. ‘Seb? Mac here, I need to speak to Hugh. Yes, trust me. Hugh? Mac. Oh aye, good. Better than good. I just looked at my bank account, nearly had a heart attack; your bank has given me a huge pay out. Is that a Christmas present from you, because frankly I only got wine for you guys?’ He laughed easily, then sounded surprised. ‘Really? No, I assumed a bank error. I didn’t apply for a loan. I tried phoning the department but just got an answering machine. Listen, can you log in from home? Find out a wee bit more about that? Oh aye, I’ll hold.’

  William stirred restlessly. ‘Hey, Laurence Olivier, you realize Thomas could go in and scoop out the money while we’re standing watching?’

  ‘No, that’s why I have to come in.’ Hamish shook his head. ‘The Trust account can only be accessed from here, this is a dedicated computer. Thomas is coming in some time this afternoon—he said he’d cover over Christmas for me.’ He grimaced. ‘I was really grateful. With Katryn away until the second of January, I’d normally be spending most of every day here covering for her.’

  ‘Then we’ve got until this afternoon to get the money shunted out.’ William was determined, but Hamish spread his hands helplessly.

  ‘Three million pounds? I already said it’s a secure account, William. I can change any of the limits, same as Jemima was able to adjust her own limit, but that would take forty-eight hours to activate. It isn’t set up to be flexible. Trust accounts don’t need to be flexible.’

  William shook his head, frustrated. ‘Is there a limit set on what the Trust can pay Patrick?’

  ‘Hang on—Fitzpatrick & Fellowes—no, no limit.’ He looked up, smiling. ‘Merry Christmas Patrick?’

  ‘Merry Christmas, Patrick,’ William agreed, and grinned round at the others.

  ‘We’d better warn him, mebbe Edge could do it.’ Hamish glanced at her and she rang Patrick from her mobile phone, turning away from the talking of the others so she could hear him clearly. He caught on immediately as she started to explain.

  ‘I like it, I like it very much. A couple of weeks ago you were convinced I was behind the shenanigans and now you want to give me the proceeds? I’ll phone your Kirsty the minute we end this call, so I’ve notified the police of the transfer. Hamish should probably do so too, we don’t want any embarrassing repercussions.’

  ‘Oh hush, Patrick. Yours is the only account we can transfer to, but Hamish wants to know if it will cause any problems? Telling the police is a good idea. Yes, I’ll put you onto him.’ She handed the phone to Hamish, who walked away with it into the strongroom, and said to the others, ‘He thinks it’s very funny. I suppose it is.’

  Donald held his hand up to hush them. ‘Yes, still here. Okay, so the application was made in November, set up to be paid into my account today. Can you see who processed it? Oh, really? Hugh, I didn’t ask for this loan. How does it benefit someone I never met to give me a loan I didn’t want? Uh huh. Oh? Sneaky bugger. Has he done any others? Look, I’m not asking you to drill into his whole portfolio. Can you look for any others set up to pay out today? I’m putting you on speakerphone while I write down his name so I can put in a complaint, fire away.’

  ‘—really not supposed to release details,’ Hugh’s slightly peevish voice said into the hushed room. ‘But if Si has been setting up fake loans to boost his portfolio for year end, my tiny rule-break hardly registers. Hang on, I’m pulling up the list by pay-out date. Now that’s interesting. The whole portfolio is set to pay out today. Twenty-one loans. I see what he’s done, sneaky bastard. The banks are on minimum staff over Christmas. No staff in loans and investments at all. He’s got the fake loans paying out now, and our cut-off date every month is the 27th. He must be gambling that no-one will notice, or at least not be able to reach anyone if they phone in to complain before then, so that he has a fantastic year-end figure. It wouldn’t be picked up until the repayments were due, and clients started saying they hadn’t borrowed the money. All very well for this year-end, Mac, but he starts the next year with three million pounds bad debt on his book. How can that help anyone?’

  ‘Mebbe he plans to intercept the money. There’s a woman he’s involved with, Hugh, could you look up her bank account for me? I don’t know the number, but her name’s Jemima Bateman, and she’ll have an Edinburgh postcode.’

  Hamish reappeared, started to say something and was hushed by Vivian. He handed Edge’s phone back to her and went quietly back behind his desk to complete the transfer of the funds.

  Hugh grumbled gently under his breath on the speakerphone and could be heard hitting keyboard keys. ‘Okay I have one Jemima Bateman with a postcode starting EH51. That the one?’

  ‘That’s it. Is the account live?’

  ‘Well, yes. Didn’t you expect it to be?’

  ‘She’s dead,’ Donald said simply and Hugh could be heard sucking through his teeth.

  ‘I thought you said he was involved with her? Mind you, a dead woman’s probably the least trouble, eh? Sorry, sorry, forgot who I was talking to. Anyway, we haven’t been notified of the death. Oh, wait, yes we were. The account was frozen
on the sixth, then reactivated a week ago. She’s not dead at all, it was an error.’

  ‘Can you close it, or block it?’

  ‘Not from home, Mac. Not within a written instruction, either. Why, what’s happening?’

  ‘Embezzlement, I think. Give me a moment to think—’

  In the silence, the door opened and they glanced over automatically, then froze as Thomas came in beaming.

  Chapter 13 - The plot uncovered

  ‘Thanks, Patrick. Thanks very much.’ Kirsty disconnected and looked across at Iain. They were driving across from Onderness to the Lawns. ‘Patrick Fitzpatrick. He insisted on being patched through to me rather than explain from scratch with anyone else. He says Hamish has just transferred three million pounds from the Trust account into his business account. It looks as though Thomas was setting up a huge sting.’

  ‘Three million. Okay, this isn’t just thugs hanging about at the Lawns, this is pretty serious. We’re going to need backup. Get onto it, Kirsty.’ They were in one of the official police cars and he hesitated, his finger hovering over the siren button. ‘Covert?’

  She knew he was thinking out loud, not asking her, but offered diffidently, ‘They’ll wait for Hamish to leave? If we go in loud we could provoke a situation.’

  ‘Agreed. Get that backup. And make it clear that it’s urgent.’

  ~~~

  ‘Hello, Christmas party starting early?’ Thomas looked insolently at Vivian, sweeping her from head to foot. ‘Nice party outfit. Doll. And the snooty Mrs Cameron as well. Good, I’m a real party person. Nuh-uh, big man,’ his voice sharpened as William started to heave himself to his feet. ‘I’m not on my own. Come on through, guys.’

  Five bulky men crowded into the room and fanned out to stand watchfully close and Thomas grinned as William hesitated, glancing up at the two men who were flanking him. ‘I didn’t want any last minute hitches. I’m a careful man, do you see? Plan things out to the last detail. We’ve been hanging round the parking lot for ages, finally decided to come up see what was delaying Hamish. Carl, next to the skinny guy. Watch him. He’s quicker than you’d think.’