“I’ve been thinking since we talked, and I wanted to ask,” Eli continued. “In the community, if someone was gay, they’d be excommunicated… are the English the same way?”
“That’s a difficult question. For a long time, people could be killed or put in prison for being gay, but now most people are more understanding. There are still people who won’t accept us and even those who would hurt us. But most people are understanding, and quite frankly, most people really don’t care anymore. As an example, Lumpy, Pete, and Fred all knew about Len and my dad. It didn’t matter to them, but my Aunt Janelle still can’t accept it even after all these years.”
“Oh.” Eli seemed more confused now than he was before he asked the question.
“Let me ask you something. My being gay doesn’t bother you, does it?” Eli shook his head. “Why not?”
Eli thought for a minute. “Because you’re a kind person who’s been good to me. And I guess I feel you’re right; it shouldn’t matter who you love.”
“Then you answered your own question. What’s important is being a good person, caring for others, and treating other people the way you want to be treated: with respect and dignity. If you do that, good people will see you for who you are and the rest can go to hell.” Geoff gestured and laughed a little. “Does that help you?”
Now it was Eli’s turn to smile. “Yeah.” They rode the rest of the way in near silence, returning to the barn an hour after they left. Geoff felt much better. The ride had gotten him some fresh air, and his muscles felt warm and loose. They finished unsaddling their horses and headed in for breakfast.
The kitchen smelled heavenly with breakfast cooking. On his way to the sink, Geoff leaned against the table to smell the bouquet of wildflowers on the table. Len always gathered them each spring, and it made him happy that Len was carrying on with his life. With a final glance at the flowers, he went to wash his hands. “Is that fresh cinnamon raisin bread I smell?”
Len didn’t look up from his eggs. “Yup.”
“Thank you for making it.” His dad had made bread, but Len made cinnamon raisin bread that was to die for. Len brought him his plate and set it in front of him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but I didn’t make the bread. Eli did.” Geoff took a bite of the toast and moaned softly. The butter and cinnamon melted together, sliding down his throat. That was heavenly.
The door opened, and Eli took his place at the table, with Len putting his plate in front of him.
“Thank you for the bread, it’s delicious,” Geoff said. He got the same smile he’d seen when he brought out Kirk that morning, all happy and pleased.
“I’m glad it turned out. I’d never made it before.” Eli started eating, and Len joined them at the table with his own plate. The conversation turned to the activities for the day.
“I’ve got to get the books done; tomorrow’s payday,” Geoff said.
Len swallowed. “The rest of us will be repairing fences this morning and checking on the herds this afternoon. Lumpy thinks he might have seen the signs of wolves, so we need to check it out.”
“I’ll have lunch ready for you.” Geoff took his plate to the sink and went into the office to get started. He heard the others leave and breathed a sigh of relief before picking up the phone and calling Raine.
“This had better be good, calling me at this godawful hour.”
Geoff looked at the clock; it was after eight. “I’ve been up for hours. Shit, I forgot it’s an hour earlier there. Sorry, Raine.”
He heard a yawn on the other end of the line. “What’s so important that it couldn’t wait until a decent hour?”
“Raine, I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything, but I just can’t stop thinking about him.”
“What? Who? Geoff, who are you talking about?”
“Eli.” God, this was such a mistake.
“Wait….” Geoff could almost hear the smile on Raine’s face. “You’re calling me because you like this Eli and he doesn’t like you?”
“No, he doesn’t know how I feel about him. Eli’s the Amish guy who works for me.”
“Holy crap! You’re telling me you’re in love with an Amish guy? Look, my mind’s not working too well yet. It’s early. Why don’t you spell it out for me so I can try to help you?”
Geoff took a deep breath. “I told you about Eli already.”
“Wait a minute. You’re calling me all flustered at some early hour about Eli. Let me guess; you really like him?”
“Yes, but I shouldn’t like him that way.”
“Why not? Does he know you’re gay?”
“Yes, we talked about it, and I told him.”
“Does he like you?”
“I don’t know. Raine, I don’t even know if he’s gay. That’s the first problem.” Raine tried to interrupt on the other side of the line, but Geoff cut him off. “He’s on his year away from the Amish community. What if he’s only curious and I hurt him, or worse, we do something and they find out, shun him, and ruin his life?” A host of awful possibilities passed through his mind.
“And what if he loves you back?”
That stopped Geoff in his tracks.
Raine continued. “You wouldn’t be so concerned about him if you didn’t care for him. But what if he cares for you? I know you believe in true love. You saw it with your dad and Len. What if he’s your true love?”
“I… don’t know what it’s like to be in love… not like that. All I’ve ever had are meaningless affairs and one-night stands.”
“Then maybe it’s time you found out. I’m not saying you should rush into anything, but I think you need to look at your feelings honestly and then try to determine his.”
“But he’s so innocent and sweet and beautiful. What if I ruin that?”
“You won’t. I know you. You’ll cherish it and make it grow like those horses of yours you love so much.” Geoff heard Raine shuffling through his apartment. “Look, babe, I gotta get ready for work. I know this is going to sound cliché, but follow your heart. Look, I gotta go or I’ll be late. Call me later and let me know what happens. Bye, babe.” The line disconnected. and Geoff hung up the phone.
He sat behind his desk and let his mind wander a little. If he were honest with himself, he really did like Eli… a lot. The way he looked in the saddle, the way he smiled, the way those eyes danced when he was happy. “Fuck, I’ve got it bad. Now if I just knew how he felt.” Geoff had always had good gaydar, but where Eli was concerned, he didn’t have a clue.
Finally, he was able to pull his attention back to business, and he got to work, updating the ledgers and writing the paychecks for the men. By the time he was done, it was time to start lunch.
In the kitchen, he made a number of sandwiches and brewed fresh coffee. No sooner was he done than the door opened and the men came in. On days like this when they were fixing fences, it was easier for them to eat at the farm, so Geoff made sure there was plenty. The conversation swirled around work; what they’d accomplished, and what they had to do that afternoon.
“The fences in the far west pasture are falling down. We have to repair them before we can move any cattle in there,” Len said.
“Is that what we’re doing this afternoon?”
Len looked at Geoff. “We? I thought you had work to do here.”
“I got it finished, so I thought I’d help.”
All the men smiled and nodded. The more help, the quicker they’d finish.
Once lunch was over, Geoff piled the dishes in the sink, met the guys in the yard, and rode with the rest of the crew to the pasture, where they broke up into teams to dig post holes, set the posts, and finally string the fence. Geoff and Eli worked together to set the posts, making sure they were perfectly vertical before filling the holes. After hours of working, they had the pasture fences repaired and solid. When Len saw the job was finished, everyone piled in the truck for the ride back to the farmhouse. After putting their tools away, Len declared t
he day’s work over, and everyone went inside for dinner and the weekly poker game.
Everyone, that is, except Eli, who went to the barn. Geoff followed to see if something was wrong. “Eli, would you like to join the card game?”
He shook his head. “I can’t. You’re playing poker, gambling.”
Geoff nodded. “I see. Well, you can still join us for dinner, and then the evening is yours to do whatever you’d like. Or you can watch if you want. Whatever you do, I don’t want you to work, okay?” Eli nodded, and Geoff led him back toward the house.
They had a nice dinner with everyone chipping in to get it ready, and then they sat around the table, playing cards and talking. Eli sat next to Geoff, watching him through the hands. At the end of the night, everyone helped clean up and then headed home. Eli said good-night and went up to bed. Geoff was left in the kitchen with Len.
“Geoff, you’ve seemed out of sorts for a while. Is everything okay?” Len sat at the table across from Geoff, a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah, I’m just trying to work through something.”
Geoff’s sigh was met by a knowing smile. “That something wouldn’t have anything to do with Eli, would it?”
Geoff nodded slowly. “I can’t stop thinking about him, and I think I’m developing feelings for him, but I—”
“You’re not sure if he likes you the same way?”
“Yeah.”
Len started snickering and then laughed outright, covering his mouth with his hand to keep himself from getting too loud. “Good God, boy, what do you want him to do, hire a skywriter?”
Len was shaking his head and kept chuckling, which only deepened Geoff’s confusion. What had he missed?
“Let me see, each morning for the last week or so, your horse is groomed till he shines and saddled ready for you ride with him.”
“Yeah, so?” Geoff shrugged, and Len shook his head again.
“Each morning, when you come down for breakfast, there are fresh flowers on the table.”
“I thought you picked those, like you always did for dad.”
Len shook his head. “I haven’t been picking those. Eli has. And yesterday, he asked me what your favorite bread was, looked up a recipe, and made it for you. Grinned like a cat when you said how much you liked it.”
“What is it you’re driving at?”
Len shook his head again and rolled his eyes at the ceiling, “He’s courting you, ya dummy.”
Geoff almost fell out of his chair. There was no way….
Oh my God.
Oh my freaking God. Geoff shook his head slowly as Len smiled and kept nodding.
“In Amish culture, when you like someone, you groom your horses so they look their best, polish your tack until it shines, and take the object of your affection for a buggy ride. He doesn’t have a buggy, so he’s been saddling your horse and polishing your saddle for the last week, bringing you flowers, making you what you like to eat.” Len got up from the table. “Tomorrow, I suggest that you let the boy know his efforts have been noticed and that you’re interested. ’Cause if you’re not, he can bloody well court me.” With those final words, Len went upstairs, still shaking his head.
Chapter 8
GEOFF WAS up early on Saturday. Hell, the sun wasn’t even up, and he was out of bed, dressed, and in the barn. “Yes,” he whispered as he walked into the dark barn. “I beat you this morning.”
Large heads poked out of their stalls, and Geoff stroked and patted each nose as he headed to the tack room to get the supplies. The horses were losing their winter coats, so Geoff grabbed a curry comb, brush, and treats, and then headed to Twilight’s stall.
“Hey, girl.” He stroked his hand across her side and saw that inquisitive head turn to look at him. “I know; I’m not Eli, but I’ll have to do.” He gave her a carrot and led her to the grooming area and began brushing her out. She really liked it and moved slightly into his touch. “Feels good, girl. Yeah, I know it does.” He was just talking to keep her calm and to fill the dark morning with some reassuring sound. Once she was combed, he brushed her out, making her coat look its best. Then he got her blanket and saddle, placing them on her back and tightening the girth, and led her back to her stall. He’d put her bridle on when they were ready to leave.
Once Twilight was finished, he went to Kirk’s stall and got him combed, brushed, and saddled. Just as he was finishing, he heard the barn door open and a soft whistling as Eli entered.
He heard Eli stop a minute to talk to Twilight. “Morning, girl.” Then Eli moved on down to Kirk’s stall.
“Oh, you’re here.” Eli looked disappointed and backed out of the stall, walking back to Twilight. Geoff heard a sharp intake of breath and then a soft sigh. He finished saddling Kirk and led him out of the stall, meeting Eli and Twilight on the grass. “Thank you,” Eli said. His eyes gleamed, and Geoff smiled back, realizing that the initial message he’d wanted to send had been received.
“You’re welcome, and thank you for the flowers and the cinnamon bread.” That earned Geoff a grin and a happy sparkle in those blue eyes.
Eli mounted the horse, settling himself into the saddle. “Where are we riding today?”
“Why don’t you choose?” Geoff mounted as well and waited for Eli to lead the way out of the yard, and to his surprise, onto the shoulder of the road.
“There’s a river up north of us about a half mile. There should be some wonderful wildflowers this time of year.” Geoff smiled and followed Eli’s lead. At the corner near the farm, they turned north, the horses walking alongside the road, their hooves occasionally clopping on the pavement. There weren’t many cars, and those there were passed them carefully.
As they approached the river, a car passed them, moving fast, honking the horn as it sped by. The sound startled Kirk, and he reared, and Geoff went flying. He’d fallen off horses before and rolled as he hit the ground, but he was too close to the edge of the road and began rolling down the ravine toward the river.
“Geoff!” He heard Eli cry in fear.
Finally he stopped himself from rolling, just before he hit the water.
“Geoff.” There was a touch of panic in Eli’s voice. “Are you okay?”
Geoff was having trouble breathing and couldn’t answer; the wind had been knocked out of him when he hit his back. Slowly, he began to breathe again, his lungs beginning to fill and function. “Eli, I’m okay.” I think. “Don’t try to climb down.” He heard a car stop and someone talking to Eli. Taking stock, Geoff found he could move his arms and legs. His neck and back didn’t hurt. Yeah, he was okay. Slowly, he started getting to his feet. “Is Kirk okay?”
“Yes.” There was a definite note of worry in Eli’s voice. “A lady stopped to help.”
“Good. I’m going to climb up.” Geoff slowly got to his feet and began climbing the ravine. He was covered in mud, but everything seemed to be working. It definitely could have been worse. Reaching the top, he saw Eli holding Twilight and, of all people, his Aunt Vicki holding Kirk—and the horse was not happy, shaking his head, his eyes rolling.
“Thank you for stopping.” Geoff took Kirk from her, patting his neck and soothing the agitated horse.
“Are you okay? I saw what happened. Didn’t even slow down, the bastard!” The indignation was plain in her voice, enough for both of them.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Nothing hurts but my pride.” Cars were passing occasionally, and each one spooked Kirk a little bit more. “We should get back. Why don’t you meet us at the farm for breakfast?”
His aunt nodded and headed to her car. “I’ll meet you at the house.” She got into her car, turned it around, and sped off.
Geoff started walking back. “There’s a trail through the woods that leads to the farm just ahead. We can mount again once we’re away from the road.”
“I’m sorry.” Eli sighed softly behind him.
Geoff stopped and turned around, seeing the pained look on Eli’s face. “There’s nothing t
o be sorry for. It was the driver’s fault, not yours. He’s the one who behaved badly, so don’t feel bad.” He wanted to soothe away the hurt he saw on Eli’s face.
“But I’m the one who suggested we come this way.”
“Eli, you’re not responsible for the behavior of others—only yourself, and you did nothing wrong.” He waited for Eli to catch up. “I mean it. I’m okay, and I really appreciate your concern.” Before he could stop himself, he reached out and stroked his hand along Eli’s cheek. “Thank you.”
They reached the trail and walked the horses away from the road. Kirk had calmed down, and Geoff was able to mount him, and they slowly walked back, the feel of Eli’s skin against his palm still fresh in his mind.
Once they reached the farm, unsaddled the horses, and turned them out into the pastures for the day, Geoff spoke. “Tomorrow is your day off, and I thought instead of riding first thing in the morning, we could ride after breakfast, someplace extra fun.”
As they walked toward the house, Eli agreed timidly. “Okay.”
“Then I’ll meet you in the yard at nine; I’ll take care of everything.” Geoff was smiling to beat the band. He’d just had a great idea… one he was sure Eli would like.
In the kitchen, Geoff found his Aunt Vicki sitting at the table, drinking coffee.
“I really wanted to talk to you,” she said. Geoff poured himself a cup and sat down across from her. “Janelle told me about the incident in the store. She made it sound as though you’d accosted her.” Geoff began to say something, but she quieted him. “I know you did no such thing, and I want to know what really happened.”
Geoff sighed. “She said some awful things about Len and Dad and then accused me of corrupting Joey and Eli. Dad put up with her for all those years. Why, I have no idea, but I do know she’s got a problem with me being gay.”
Aunt Vicki sighed. “There’s some history there that you don’t know—and don’t need to know—but your Aunt Janelle is a bitter and unhappy person. For the longest time I took her side, but this has got to stop.” She sipped her coffee and then set down her cup. “I wanted you to know that I don’t feel the same way she does, and I told her she needs to let it go.” She stood up to go.
Dreamspinner Press Year Three Greatest Hits Page 31
