Len’s voice sounded so careful. “I had Cliff for twenty years, and I enjoyed every minute I had with him. I know you had Eli for just a few months, but it doesn’t make the loss any less overpowering or any less meaningful.” Len sat down as Geoff watched the man he considered a father share some of his own grief.
“I can tell you that it gets better. I still miss him, and I probably always will. Each morning when I wake up, I forget he’s gone for about thirty seconds, then I remember.”
Geoff looked into those eyes that had watched him ride his first horse, watched his baseball games, and watched over him when he was sick, and realized just how lucky he was. Getting up from his chair, he walked to Len and hugged him. “I love you, Dad.”
“Dad?”
“Yeah, I think it’s time I stopped calling you Len. You’re my father, as much as he was, so I’m going to call you Dad.” Geoff watched as Len wiped his eyes. “I’m one of the lucky ones; I’ve got two.”
The two men hugged each other for a while, both of them sniffling softly as they shared their loss.
Then Len pulled away and wiped his eyes for a final time. “I think we both need to stop, or we’ll start screaming hysterically like Sally Field. ‘I wanna know why?’” Both Geoff and Len started to laugh at Len’s near perfect imitation. When they’d gotten control of themselves again, they went to work, and Geoff had to admit he felt better.
Chapter 18
GEOFF AND Kirk flew across the pasture, the speed and the feeling of being one with the horse clearing out the morning cobwebs. He didn’t let himself reminisce about how much he missed his morning rides with Eli. He couldn’t. Pushing his hurt aside was the only way he could get through the day. The nights… oh, the nights were another matter altogether.
Geoff reined in his horse and yawned. He hadn’t been sleeping very well. Every night, as soon as he fell asleep, he’d dream of Eli and wake up incredibly disappointed. Two nights ago, he’d dreamed that Eli had come back. The details of his dream had been so vivid, so realistic, that when he woke and Eli wasn’t there, it felt like he’d lost him all over again.
“Sorry, boy. I guess I haven’t been good company lately.” The horse’s head bobbed as though he was agreeing with him. Geoff patted Kirk’s neck, “You didn’t have to agree with me; you could have lied.” Kirk chose that moment to turn his head to look at him with one of those huge brown eyes. “Okay, okay, let’s head back.” Geoff turned them around and urged Kirk into a trot. “Jesus, I’m carrying on a conversation with a horse.” Geoff smirked as they trotted back toward the barn.
In the yard, he dismounted and walked the horse into his stall. After unsaddling, he turned him out into his paddock. Outside, he stopped and watched the colt running and frolicking as his mother stood watching. Princess ambled over to Geoff, and he fed her a few carrots and petted her nose.
With a sigh, he turned and walked to the house, seeing his Aunt Mari’s car parked in the drive. Out of habit, he checked his watch. Something must be wrong—it wasn’t even eight. Aunt Mari may have grown up on a farm, but she was rarely up before nine on a weekend.
The door slammed behind him as he walked into the kitchen, “What brings you here so ear—?” Geoff stopped short as Eli’s blue eyes looked back at him.
His aunt smiled. “I picked up a hitchhiker as I was going into town.” Geoff heard her voice, but his vision narrowed to only Eli. Mari and Len stood up, and Geoff was vaguely aware of them leaving the room.
Geoff’s heart leapt, but he tamped it down. “Are you just visiting or here to stay?” Having Eli return definitely fit in the too-good-to-be-true category.
Eli’s eyes showed insecurity and worry. “If you’ll have me. I mean, I’d like to stay, but if you don’t want me that way, I’ll understand. But if nothing else, I need a job.”
“If I’ll have you?” Geoff’s feet moved with a mind of their own. “If I’ll have you?” Then he was right there, pulling Eli into his arms, holding him tight. “I’m never letting you go again.” Geoff’s lips crashed onto Eli’s, holding him tight, his hand carding through dark hair, increasing the pressure on their lips.
“Geoff, I’m….” Mari’s voice trailed off, but Geoff barely heard her and didn’t stop their kissing. His entire being was glued to Eli, the feel of his body next to his, the soft silky hair against his fingers. The taste of his lips, the scent of his skin, the small moans all combined to fill his senses, and right now there was no room for anything else. The house could burn down around them, and Geoff would hardly notice. Eli was there in his arms, kissing him, holding him tight, and that was all that mattered.
The sharp sound of the back screen door closing brought him back to the here and now, and he slowly pulled back from the kiss, looking into Eli’s eyes. “Are you really back? This isn’t some trick or something? I’m not imagining this?”
“No, no trick. And it’s not your imagination.” Eli’s eyes clouded. “I’m here for as long as you’ll have me.” There was a touch of nervousness in his voice. Geoff just held him, reveling in the feel of having Eli back in his arms.
Len breezed into the kitchen. “I’m headed out to get the guys started on those fences.” Geoff nodded and looked up from Eli’s shoulder, not ready to let him go. “Are you going to stay?” Len asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.” Len put his mug in the sink. “Don’t hurt him again.”
“I won’t if I can help it.” Len glared at Eli, and then a small smile crept onto his face before he left the kitchen, the screen door slamming behind him.
Geoff was torn between pulling Eli upstairs and tearing his clothes off and finding out what happened and why Eli was here. The sound of the men in the yard helped him decide, and he released Eli and directed him toward the living room.
“I never expected to see you again. Not that I’m complaining, but what happened?” Geoff sat on the sofa and tugged Eli down next to him.
“I was miserable the entire time I was gone. Whenever I wasn’t busy, I’d think of you. So I worked the entire time.” Eli leaned against Geoff, needing to feel his lover as much as Geoff needed to feel him. “When I got home, everyone was happy and welcomed me back. Initially, things were good. I was back among people I knew, and everything was familiar. But you weren’t there.” Eli stopped and wiped his eyes. “I can’t tell you how many times I turned to tell you something before realizing you weren’t there. A few times I actually said your name. Luckily Papa didn’t hear me.”
Eli stopped and took a deep breath. “Papa was so happy I returned. He put me to work with him, helping him in the shop, and scheduled my baptism in the church. In his mind, I was back with the family and everything was perfect.”
Geoff nodded slowly. “Len said your uncle told him that you were becoming an adult member of the community. When he told me, that was when I gave up hope of seeing you again. Until then I’d kept looking, thinking maybe you’d change your mind and come back to me. But after that, I stopped letting myself hope.”
“I’m sorry.”
Geoff shook his head, not able to say anything, so he let his kiss speak for him. Eli went with it, letting Geoff press him back against the sofa cushions. Geoff could barely think. Eli was here, that’s all that mattered. Explanations could wait, talking could wait; his body and mind were screaming for Eli. He needed to touch him, feel him. Geoff forced himself to get up from the sofa and tugged Eli to his feet, practically dragging him up the stairs and down the hall to the bedroom.
He hooked the door with his foot, closing it with a bang. The noise hardly registered as he advanced on Eli like a cat stalking its prey. Geoff worked the buttons on his shirt, opening it, slipping it off his shoulders before dropping it to the floor. His eyes never wavered from Eli as he moved forward. He saw Eli back up until his legs bumped the bed, but Geoff kept prowling closer. His fingers opened his belt, pulling it off, dropping it with a clunk. Shoes thumped as they bounced after flipping from his feet. His pants opened
almost on their own, denim fabric kicked off, another addition to the trail on the floor.
Eli hadn’t moved, his eyes following every movement, and Geoff swore he could see his own passion mirrored in those eyes. Geoff reached his prey, taking the hat Eli still carried and tossing it away before grabbing Eli’s shirt and using it to pull him forward. Their lips crashed together, need and passion swamping Geoff’s already lust-clouded mind. His hands pulled, and buttons pinged to the floor as they popped off the shirt. Fabric tore as he pulled the shirt off his lover’s body before crushing their chests together. Only then did his feral yearning begin to subside into needy passion.
His hands devoured the skin on Eli’s back, gripping and palming as much as he could. His chest heaved as they moved together. Eli’s nipples, pointy and hard, rubbed against his chest. “Yes!” Geoff groaned. That was just what he needed. “Get those pants off if you want them in one piece.” Geoff watched as the belt was opened and Eli’s pants fell to the floor, and then Geoff pushed him back on the bed. He pulled off his lover’s shoes and yanked off his pants before tossing them over his shoulder.
He watched Eli’s eyes as he crawled on the bed, his hands sliding up his legs and chest. “I dreamed about this for the past two weeks, that you’d come back to me. Every morning when I woke up I wondered where you were, why you weren’t in my bed.” Geoff settled across Eli’s waist, pinning him to the mattress. “Every morning, I was happy for a moment until I remembered you weren’t here.” Geoff took one of Eli’s wrists in each hand, holding them over his head. “I missed you like I’d miss my hand or foot. Without you I was incomplete.” Then he leaned forward, kissing the man splayed out beneath him.
Eli vibrated against him. “I missed you too. Every time I smelled hay or rode one of the horses, I thought of you. When Len came in the bakery, it took all my willpower not to rush to him. When he left, I had to stop myself from yelling for him to take me with him.” Eli’s eyes glistened with tears.
The tears in Eli’s eyes cooled Geoff’s ardor just enough, and he released his wrists before pulling Eli close, holding his lover tight. “Never going to let you go again. I didn’t fight this time, but I will next time, with everything I have.” Geoff brought their lips together again. This time, the kiss was less bruising, less possessive, and much more loving. His hands slid over Eli’s chest, letting that hot skin slide beneath his palms. His hands remembered the feel of that skin, the contours of Eli’s chest.
Eli moaned softly into Geoff’s mouth as a hand slid down his stomach and beneath the band of his underwear. Geoff’s fingers circled around the hard, silky shaft beneath the fabric. “Geoff,” Eli whined softly as he bucked into his hand. “No one ever touches me like you.”
“I sincerely hope not.” Geoff pumped his hand slowly, feeling Eli stiffen even more in his hand.
Eli smiled into Geoff’s lips. “You know what I mean.”
Geoff did know, but he liked hearing it just the same. Moving his fingers, Geoff slid the fabric down Eli’s hips so Eli could work them off. Then he slid his own underwear down, kicking them aside. Eli’s body, his erection rubbing against his, felt like coming home. This was what he’d missed so much: the closeness, the loving. He could almost feel his heart sighing in relief now that the rest of him had come back.
Geoff let his lips travel, relearning the scent and taste of his lover: the feel and taste of those perky nipples, the flat belly, the heady musk as he approached Eli’s sex. He slid his tongue down the hard length, swirling around the head as Eli’s special flavor burst in his mouth. He wanted more, needed more. Opening wide, he took Eli deep in one motion.
“God, Geoff!”
Geoff smiled as he bobbed his head slowly, sliding his lips around Eli’s length, listening to the steady stream of soft, beautiful music Eli was making. It thrilled him beyond measure that Eli was making those sounds for him. No one else had ever heard Eli make those sounds—only Geoff. Eli’s music was becoming more urgent, and he backed away, letting his lover breathe. “Not yet, Tiger. Gonna make you wait.”
He got a small whine, and then Eli was flipping them on the bed, his Tiger taking what he wanted. Eli’s weight now pressed Geoff against the mattress, but this wasn’t what he wanted, not right now.
“Sit up, Tiger.”
Eli shifted, straddling Geoff’s hips. Geoff placed his hands beneath Eli’s butt and lifted, scooting him forward until he sat on his chest. Geoff guided Eli to lie back, pulling his hips forward. Craning his neck up, he licked around Eli’s opening. That music started again almost immediately, and Eli scooted closer. Geoff teased the puckered skin with his fingers while his tongue probed and sucked.
“Missed this so much. Missed you the entire time,” Eli moaned.
“I know, Tiger. Gonna make up for lost time.” Eli’s skin puckered and throbbed as he blew on it, moans drifting up from where Eli lay all spread out on top of him. Letting one hand roam, he stroked Eli’s stomach while the other drove Eli wild with desire.
“Want you, Geoff. Can’t take much more.” That was becoming very plain. Eli was throbbing on top of him, his body shaking as he moaned and whimpered.
“Okay, Tiger.” Geoff wet a finger and slid it deep into Eli, that hot body pulling him in, his finger nearly burning from the heat.
Eli wriggled on Geoff’s finger, wanting more, so Geoff added a second, and Eli pushed against it, sucking it right in. “Geoff, need you so bad. Need it to be you.”
“Will be in a second. Need to make sure you’re ready.” Eli pulled off Geoff’s fingers and sat up, spitting on his hand. Wetting Geoff’s dripping erection, he positioned himself and took him in, driving down in a single long motion.
“Yes!” Eli cried out when he rested against his lover’s hips.
Geoff thought his head was going to explode. Every nerve in his body seemed to be firing at the same damn time. Hell, it was so hot when his Tiger took what he wanted.
Geoff started to move, but Eli stilled his hips with a touch. “I’m the Tiger.” He lifted his body and slammed back down onto Geoff.
“Elijah—” Geoff could barely breathe, and he gasped for air, catching his breath just as Eli repeated the motion, stealing his breath away again. “Tiger—”
“That’s right.” Eli lifted his body again. “I’m the Tiger, so I’m in charge.” Then he slammed back down. “I love you, Geoff, and you’re mine!” This time he gripped Geoff as tight as he could and fucked himself on his lover like the hounds of hell were after them. Geoff tried to form words, make sounds, anything, but all he could do was hang on and let Eli do the driving.
He could feel the pressure building deep inside him. Reaching up, he began to stroke hard along Eli’s length. “Come for me, Tiger. Want you to come on my cock.” Eli’s eyes scrunched shut, and his rhythm became erratic. Crying out, he shot on Geoff’s stomach.. The throbbing pressure and clenching muscles drove Geoff to his own release, and he came deeply in his lover as lights danced behind his eyes.
Slowly, Eli lifted himself off Geoff, both of them whimpering when Geoff slipped out. After a quick cleanup, they scooted together, arms curled around each other, their immediate need sated.
“I thought I’d lost you forever. What made you come back?” Geoff asked.
Eli rested his head on Geoff’s shoulder, fingers tracing circles on his lover’s chest. “My mom, actually.”
Geoff turned his head to look into Eli’s eyes. He couldn’t believe Eli was serious.
“She took me aside yesterday and told me that she could see I wasn’t happy. She asked me if I’d met someone when I was away, and there was no way I could outright lie to her, so I told her yes.”
“Then why’d you come back?” His mother had said as she worked on her sewing.
Eli had hung his head, not able to explain fully. “The English world is harsh and cruel.”
She continued her work as she spoke. “I know it can be cruel, but you found love, and that’s too precious to turn your ba
ck on.” She stilled her hands and put down her sewing. “You’re not happy, and while I don’t want you to go, I want what every mother wants, to see her children as happy as possible.” She looked around the room to make sure no one could hear, “You need to go back. Once you take your vows and receive baptism, you’ll be trapped for the rest of your life.” Eli had tried to argue with her, but she’d quieted him. “My oldest brother was just like you.” She’d smiled as she remembered. “He left for a year away, just like you, but came back and hid his true self. He rejoined the community, got baptized, and married. He was miserable for the rest of his life. Your papa thinks it’s because he had the devil in him.” She’d shaken her head softly. “Far be it from me to argue with your Papa, but I know it was because he found happiness outside and turned his back on it. He regretted what he’d done till the day he died.” She wiped a tear from her eye.
“What do I do?”
“Be honest with your Papa like you always have. Tell him what you’re feeling, and in the morning you’ll leave. He may be angry for a while, but he’ll get over it.” Eli’s mother swallowed hard. “After tomorrow it’s too late.”
Geoff scooted closer, holding his sweet lover close. “What did he say when you told him?”
“Not much. He looked disappointed, but he actually seemed to understand. Mama may have spoken to him first. I don’t really know. He did say that he wanted me to be sure to visit, so I think it will be okay.”
“I know you can never tell them about us.” It made Geoff sad that Eli was going to have to hide who he was from his family. “But what if someone finds out?”
“We’ll worry about that when the time comes, if it ever does. Mama made me realize that I have to be true to them as well as myself. And being true to myself means being here with you. Besides, as time passes, I’ll fade from the community. They’ll move ahead without me.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Three Greatest Hits Page 41
