by Ashley Hall
“Thanks!” I hung up. I couldn’t drive myself to the party because Dad would notice if my car was gone, and even though I was in his good graces, he’d never agree to let me go to a party. Well, not a party like this one was going to be, with drinking and hook ups and sex and drugs too.
Just what was I getting myself into? Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
But I wasn’t going to back out. If Wes was going, I was going too.
Twenty minutes later, I stood a few blocks down from our house, and my aunt drove up. After I climbed in, buckled, and gave her Lizzy’s address, she asked, “How’s my sister doing?”
“Mom’s doing well.” I smiled at her.
It always bothered me that she was estranged from the family, just because she did what she wanted to do, everyone else be damned. She lived by rules, just rules she created. She had tattoos, body piercings, and to Dad, she was “dead to us all.” They didn’t see that beneath her appearance, she was sweet and, yeah, maybe a little crazy. Once a year or so, we would secretly meet, and she always told me to call her when I wanted to get the fuck out.
Which was why I had called her tonight.
“So, where exactly are we going to tonight?” she asked.
With Dad, there would be a measure of suspicion with his question. It never really bothered me before. I just accepted it. He was worried about me, wanted to protect me from the dangers of the outside world. And there was danger out there. I knew it. But that didn’t mean I had to be sheltered and live in a bubble. And I wasn’t about to make tonight an every night occurrence. Just this one night. Just this one party.
“Lizzy. She’s having a party.”
“Ah. I take it you aren’t going because of this Lizzy.”
I laughed. Aunt Caro could always read me. And I had said Lizzy’s name with a little bit of contempt.
“So if you aren’t going because of her, who are you going for? A boy?” Aunt Caro glanced over with a sly smile on her face.
“Um…” Could I really tell her?
“Don’t you lie to me. I’ll know.”
“Ugh. Okay.” She wouldn’t know Wes was my step-brother. “His name is Wes.”
“Is he hot?”
“Aunt Caro!”
She laughed. “Well?”
“Yeah.” There was no denying that. “But I don’t know if he’s good for me.”
“Oh. One of those. A bad boy.”
“Exactly. He’s a rebel.” I began to feel better about my decision to show Wes not to underestimate me. That was why I was going. No other reason.
“You’ve moved on from Adam, then?” she asked.
“I…” Had I? “I think so.”
“Well, April, I just want you to be safe. Call me when you’re ready to go home, all right?” She parked a little bit away from the party.
I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Need a condom?” she asked.
My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets. “Uh…”
“I know your father won’t talk to you about safe sex because he plans on you losing your virginity on your wedding night, but I don’t know what you plan on doing tonight or any other night, and if you want to have sex, you should be smart about it, and if you are thinking about it, I have some condoms I can give you.”
There wasn’t a hint of disapproval or judgment in her voice. I loved that about her.
“Thanks, but…ah…no. I don’t need any.” My cheeks felt so hot.
She smiled. “If you’re sure. Have fun, April!” Aunt Caro waved and drove off.
I tried to shove my mortification aside. Yes, I was daydreaming about sex all the time and fingering myself, but I hadn’t really thought about actually doing it. Having sex. Fucking. Because I wasn’t in love with a guy. If I were to have sex soon, it wouldn’t be making love. It would be fucking. And did I want that?
No. I wanted sex to be meaningful.
But that still didn’t mean it had to necessarily wait until my wedding night.
I turned up the street. The closer I get to the party, the slower I walked. Once I walked inside, I started to lose my nerve. The huge house stank of booze, weed, cigs, and sex. The music was so loud it pulsed through my body. Boys were staring at me like I was a piece of meat, and I tugged self-consciously on my skirt. Did it have to be so short? Maybe I should’ve worn something else.
I stumbled my way through a crush of bodies and managed to find the bar. The guy mixing drinks kept glancing my way. Not wanting to look suspicious, I nodded and accepted a drink. Sipping it, I tried to find an area of the house that wasn’t quite so crowded.
No such thing. Every room was packed. I nodded and waved to a few acquaintances. None of my friends were here. Not too surprising. This wasn’t their kind of scene. It wasn’t my kind of scene either. This was pointless and stupid and reckless. I should just go home.
“Hey, April. Wow. You look good.”
I turned around to see Mike, a jock who I’d tutored our freshman year and hadn’t talked to me since. He wasn’t bad-looking, not by a long shot, but I preferred guys who used their brain cells.
“Thanks.” Not really grateful for the compliment, I gulped some of my drink. It tasted like chocolate and coffee, but I knew there had to be alcohol in it too. It surprised me how good it tasted, how smoothly it went down.
“Good?” Jacob, Mike’s best friend, punched him in the arm. “She looks smokin’. But you know what would make you look even better? If you lost your top.”
They laughed.
Ugh. So didn’t want to get hounded by a bunch of drunk guys who were acting like idiots.
“April.”
My heart started to race. Maybe I wasn’t completely over him yet. “Adam.”
He sat on the only available chair in the room and patted his lap. “Wanna sit?”
Really? That was too forward for me. Even if I have been crushing on him for a while. That he only really made a pass at me when there was alcohol involved didn’t make me feel good.
Maybe he was just a little shy, and the drinks were giving him courage. Fat chance, April.
I glanced around. There were too many people, and there wasn’t an easy way to leave the room. Besides, everywhere else, I’d just run into more of this, and at least here, I could talk to Adam. If I wanted to.
As it turned out, I drank more than I talked, and Mike got me another drink. Wasn’t sure what was in this one, but it was even more delicious than the first one. What wasn’t so good? I was desperate to get away from the guys. They were getting drunker and touchier. I used to daydream about Adam holding me, but his arm causally over my shoulder so his hand could graze against my breast while making drunken jokes wasn’t what I had in mind.
Jacob was playing with my hair, Mike had just slapped my ass, and Adam was squeezing my boob when suddenly, before I could react, Wes appeared in the doorway. His eyes turned stormy, and he jumped forward and grabbed my arm. “Fuck off. She’s mine.”
I’m his?
My cheeks were hot. From the guys groping me or from Wes saving me? I was so flustered I couldn’t think straight, although the drinks might be helping with that. “Uh…thanks,” I managed to say as he pulled me out of the room and into the crowded hallway.
“They’re pigs. I just wanted to help you out. You all right?” He glanced at me, eyes glazed over.
He was so far gone he didn’t even recognize me.
It was enough to want me to slap him and walk away, but he was the reason why I came in the first place, and who knew how long it would take him to realize who I was. Might as well have a little fun.
“You do look hot. Not that that excuses them.”
“Thank you for rescuing me.” I smiled at him, wanting to laugh.
“Of course.” He leaned closer. “Just how would you like to thank me?” Wes brushed some of my hair back.
He’d done that earlier with me, when he hadn’t been drunk off hi
s rocks, and it had affected me more than I should’ve let it. But now, it didn’t mean so much, and it took away from earlier too. Wes did it with all the girls. I hadn’t seen him do it to Lizzy during lunch, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t yet or that he wouldn’t in the future.
So all I did was smile at him, offering nothing else. “How would I like to thank you? By saying thank you. Which I already did.”
“So you did. Do you find my company better than theirs?”
“Yes, but that’s not saying much,” I teased.
He laughed. “You didn’t want them to touch you. Do you want me to?”
A dangerous question. One I should say no to. People here knew who we were, that we were related.
Wes tilted his head, staring at me. “You’re familiar. And cute. And you smell good.”
“All the compliments.” I grinned.
He looked me up and down. “And you look too fucking good to be at a party like this.”
I was buzzed and freaking out a little, but I hated feeling that way. I wanted to cut loose. He was flirting with me, and I wanted to flirt back, so I said, “You look pretty good yourself. I bet…” I bit my lower lip, hesitating.
“What do you bet?”
“I bet you look even better without any clothes on.”
Did I really just say that?
“You took the words out of my mouth.” Wes touched my cheek, and I leaned into his hand. “I could say the same about you.”
“Too bad I’m a prude.”
“Or else…”
“Or else I might be tempted to show you how I look without any clothes on.”
Okay. That was definitely the alcohol talking. I thought I might be slurring a little too. I never had this much to drink before. Just a few sips here and there.
“We could always get out of here,” he suggested, “but I have the feeling you won’t leave with me.”
“Nope.” I shook my head and had to hold onto his arm to keep me from falling down.
“But I also have the feeling that you’d let me kiss you.”
I held my breath and didn’t move.
Wes closed his eyes and leaned down, and then we were kissing. Even though we were both drunk, it was amazing—as he would probably say, fucking amazing—and in seconds, I felt myself getting wet. His tongue brushed against my lips, and I parted them, letting him inside, giving him more access to me and my body.
The guests, the music, the noise, all of it faded away as we made out. He was working on my neck and making my toes curl when someone started to call his name.
“Wesley? Wesley!”
Of course. Lizzy. Just my luck. I was finally giving in, having a little fun, a little spice, and she had to be the one to ruin it.
“Wesley, come on! You promised to do a line with me!” she called from a nearby room.
I pulled away from him.
He sighed and shrugged. “I’m sorry. Please wait here a few minutes for me.”
Feeling numb, I nodded. What else could I do?
Wes walked into a room farther down the hallway, and I trailed behind him. He headed straight over to Liz, who had a several shots on the table. Wes took three shots, boom! boom! boom! and then a line of coke on the countertop with Lizzy. Everyone around us cheered as Lizzy grabbed Wes and kissed him deeply. The next moment, his hands were up her shirt, and he was putting her on the counter.
I couldn’t watch anymore. I ran through the house, shoving and pushing and elbowing my way through the throng of people. At least I made it outside before I vomited. Feeling betrayed, and like a loser, I hid behind a tree and called Aunt Caro. Then I sat there and sobbed until she drove up.
Aunt Caro didn’t press me with questions, and I really appreciated that. A few blocks from my house, she said, “If you ever want to talk about what happened, you can always call me. I’ll never judge you, April. And if you need someone to get a blow to the kneecap, I know a guy.”
I was so shocked I laughed a little, but even her joke couldn’t get the images out of my head. I just watched over and over as Wes took the shots, the coke, and then Lizzy. I needed a shower. I felt disgusting, grimy, like a whore.
I hated Wesley.
But I hated myself more.
Chapter Eleven
Wes
Fierce banging on my door startled me awake the next day. I cracked an eye open and looked at the clock. Seven in the morning. You had to be kidding me. It was Saturday. My day to sleep in. So what if it meant skipping breakfast? I wanted to lounge around and do nothing. Especially after such a wild time last night.
“Wesley, get up right now,” Walter bellowed through my closed door. “Your job is about to start.”
Job? What job? Oh, yeah, totally forgot about that. Damn it. Why couldn’t it start next weekend? My hangover was unreal, probably the worst I’d ever had. I barely slept.
You know what? There was an easy way out—feign illness.
“I’m awake,” I called but not too loudly and not with any gusto.
I waited until his loud footsteps weren’t audible anymore. Then I dashed to the bathroom—well, more walked there since moving too fast didn’t agree with my stomach—and rinsed with mouthwash to hide the alcohol scent on my breath.
All the way down the stairs, I coughed painfully and found Walter and Roslyn at the dining room table in front of mostly empty plates. I coughed one more time for good measure.
Walter didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong with you?” he grumbled.
Another cough. I did my best to look as pathetic and sick as possible.
“Oh no. It must be the flu. It’s been going around lately,” Roslyn said. “Wait here.” She left the dining room and returned a minute later. She gave me a single warning look—she didn’t buy it at all—but she rubbed my back and handed me a painkiller. “You should go back to bed.”
Thank you, Roslyn.
Without her, no way would Walter have bought it, but no way was I going to go to work today either, no matter what he said. I dragged myself upstairs—that wasn’t an act—and slept for another six hours. I got up, stretched, and felt a little better. Time for a shower. I felt dirty and disgusting.
As the hot water poured over me, I thought back to the party, at least to what I could remember, which wasn’t much. Most of it was a blacked-out haze. I vaguely remembered meeting an incredible girl…and fucking Lizzy. Why the hell did I do that? I didn’t want her, never wanted her. Damn.
Well, it was in the past, and I couldn’t do anything about. It was a one-time mistake, and it sure as hell wasn’t ever going to happen again. God, she was going to be all over me even more now when I went back to school. I’d just have to put her in her place somehow without alienating her. Should be a piece of cake. Not.
At least I had the day off. That was going my way. And the painkiller and sleep definitely helped my hangover. What could I do?
Better not sneak out. If Walter found out, he’d be pissed, and while I wasn’t scared of him, I didn’t want to get on his bad side. He was a bastard as it was. So that meant something inside the house.
Ah, I knew it! I’d go mess with April and see if she’d watch a movie with me.
I knocked on her door. After a long moment in which I wondered if she wasn’t in there, the door opened.
“Wesley.” She didn’t sound happy.
“What happened to calling me Wes?” I asked with a grin. “Mind if I come in?”
“I do mind actually.” She stood by the door, blocking me.
What the hell? I didn’t like her tone. She’d never talked to me like that before.
“All right, fine.” I held up my hands and winked at her. “Don’t trust yourself with me alone. I get it.”
April didn’t say anything. She didn’t look pleased to see me.
“What did you do last night?” I asked, trying to figure out what was bothering her.
“Nothing special.” She shrugged and glanced away.
“Why not
?”
“What did you do? Or should I be asking a different question?” She crossed her arms.
“What are you talking about?” I scratched my head. Was I being slow, or was I missing something? She sounded so disgusted, so condescending. “You didn’t go to the party last night, did you?”
Her eyes narrowed. “A party for drunks and druggies and go-for nothing—”
