by Ashley Hall
“Hey now.” I was getting pissed. Sure I’d told her I wouldn’t be going, but she shouldn’t be so damned judgmental, and I wasn’t going to take any shit from her, or anyone else. “You—”
“April, Wesley.” Jacqueline walked over to us from the staircase. I hoped she didn’t overhear us. Actually, who cared if she did? Her opinion meant nothing to me.
April’s did, though, which was why I was so pissed right now. Because she knew or suspected I went, and those insults were geared toward me.
“I was hoping you could run an errand for me,” Jacqueline continued.
Nope. Not a chance. I covered my mouth and coughed.
Jacqueline shook her head. She didn’t look annoyed at me, but her face wasn’t the easiest to read, and I was about to waste time in an effort to try harder to figure out what she was thinking. She handed April a piece of paper. “The both of you. Please.”
“Fine,” April said. She didn’t look at me as she walked around Jacqueline to the stairs.
Ugh, whatever. Being trapped in a car with a confusing girl was still better than painting houses while hung over.
In her car, we were silent. Didn’t matter what station April put on, I swore every single one was playing love songs. We bickered on and off the entire time we were in the store. After she paid, I grabbed all of the bags for her.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, hurrying to walk beside me.
“Not a problem.” It was so much nicer when she forgot to be mad. Still didn’t understand why she was offended though. Something obviously happened last night. Maybe she got in a fight with one of her friends. As far as I knew, I hadn’t done anything that she be upsetting her so much.
During the car ride home, she kept glancing at me.
“What is it?” I finally asked.
“Dad wants to send us on a youth mission trip,” she said in a rush.
“What the hell?” I couldn’t keep my mouth shut even though I knew this wouldn’t go over well. “Do you know how fucked up this family is?”
“You’re one to talk,” she said coolly.
Okay, now I was really pissed off. “Make a right here.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it. Take me to the car dealer.”
“Why?” she repeated.
“Because I asked you to.”
“Say please.”
I exhaled loudly. “Please.”
“I don’t like your tone.” She drove past the turn.
Seriously? She was being so childish!
“Turn around and go to the dealer, or else I’ll jump out of the car,” I threatened.
She glanced at me. “You wouldn’t.”
I put my hand on the door handle. “Watch me.”
“Fine!” April turned the car around.
As soon as she parked, I got out of the car. She didn’t follow. Good. I didn’t need a babysitter.
Mickey came out of the back as I walked inside the garage. “What can I help you with?” He narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t wreck my girl already, did you?”
“’Course not.” I laughed. “Actually, I’m here for a different reason.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” He had a small oil stain on his shirt, and his jeans were worn. I appreciated the fact that he worked as hard as his workers.
Hopefully I’d be joining the ranks of those workers.
I cleared my throat. “I was hoping…do you think…can I intern here? Or work for you?”
Mickey grinned. “Did Walter send you?”
I forced myself not to scowl at the mention of my step-father. “No. I’m here because I want to be.”
“Good boy.” Mickey clapped me on the back. “And an even better answer. Yes. You’re hired. We can work out the details later.” He held out his hand.
I shook it, a little dazed that everything had fallen into place so easily. “Thank you.”
My smugness must’ve been evident in my stride back to the car, because April frowned fiercely at me as I got back into her car. “What did you do?” she asked suspiciously. “Isn’t it enough that you’re hiding a bike from Dad?”
“For once, I’m excited to talk to him.” I grinned and rubbed my hands together. “I found my own job.”
“Here?” She sounded worried, but I didn’t care. Walter wanted me to have a job. I found one that I actually wanted. No way could he try and ruin this for me. Not when I was working for a friend of his.
April drove us to the house and parked. Before we climbed out, I held up my hand. “I wanted to thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
“For not being completely awful.”
“That’s easy.” She laughed it off.
“Not for everyone in the house.” I nodded toward it through the car window. “Your mom’s not bad. Not sure about mine. The kids…the baby’s cool, but the boys can…”
“They’re a handful.” She laughed easily.
“That’s putting it mildly,” I muttered. “Yvonne—”
“I can guess your opinion of her,” she said dryly.
“And my opinion of your dad?”
She bit her lower lip. I doubted she was going to say anything, but then she nodded. “He’s a little controlling.”
“Little?” I snorted. Major understatement but I guessed I should be glad she realized that much.
“He’s likes orders and discipline,” she said slowly.
“Not necessarily bad things, but he takes it too far.”
I was shocked when she nodded again. Progress.
“You mentioned his anger. And his punishments,” I said. “What have they been in the past? What does he tend to dish out?”
“No food if you miss a meal, but that can used for other things too.”
I grimaced. Since I’d been in so many houses where food had been lacking, I thought that was an especially harsh punishment. “Just spend time in your room, then?”
“Oh no. You sit at the table and smell the food and watch everyone else eat.”
“That’s…” I glanced at her. Maybe I shouldn’t let on what I think about it.
“It’s cruel. Only happened to me once.”
I could trust her. I shouldn’t treat her like a spy. “What else?”
“Paddling.”
Not surprising given how fanatical he seemed.
“Repenting on the front lawn,” she added.
“Repenting?” I furrowed my brows. “What do you mean?”
“You know, wearing a sign that states your sin.”
“I…” I gaped at her and shook my head. “People do that?”
“In this household they do. P and P have to do it the most.” She shrugged.
I suppressed a shudder. “He’ll never make me do that.”
“Don’t give him a reason to, then.” She stared out her window.
“Can’t wait to get away,” I muttered.
April didn’t answer.
I had to know her plans for the future. “How are you going to get away?”
“I’m going to the local community college. I’ll figure it out from there.”
“A community college?” Seriously? “But you’re so smart. Why don’t you go to a real college?”
April’s jaw dropped, like the thought never crossed her mind before.
It probably hadn’t. Her future had been dictated for her, all planned out. Walter had her so brainwashed she didn’t even realize the extent of his control over her. She just accepted whatever he said. He’d put the fear of God into her, for both God and himself.
I couldn’t continue this conversation or else I would blow up, so I got out of the car and grabbed the groceries. April insisted on carrying some.
As we went inside, I noticed Walter staring at us from a window.
That guy gave me the creeps. He’d never control me like he did the others.
Never.
Chapter Twelve
April
It was ridiculous th
at I never gave more thought to my future before. I’d just always accepted my path, the one Dad suggested for me, but after talking to Wes, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I could do something else. I wasn’t much of a bragger, but I was smart. Why did I feel the need to have to go to a community college? Why not explore other options and see what was out there? My grades were high enough that I could probably get a scholarship.
Computers weren’t allowed in our rooms—probably because Dad thought the Internet could lead to sin—so there was one in the living room, where anyone could walk in at any time. A way to police us, I realized. Dad didn’t trust us to not go on porn sites. Not that I would, and he had to know that.
No, I wouldn’t go on porn sites, but I would make out with my step-brother.
Did Wes even remember anything at all from the party? I kept waiting for him to make a comment about it, but on the other hand, I was glad he didn’t bring it up. No way did I want to hear any details about him and Lizzy. The tramp.
It wasn’t fair for me to give her a bad label for sleeping around when I was sure Lizzy wasn’t Wes’s first time. Man whore.
Maybe they were perfect for each other.
That thought didn’t settle well in my stomach. I’d woken with a headache and hadn’t slept well, but medicine and lots of fluid had me feeling better. Now my stomach was feeling like it had right before I got sick last night.
Best not to think about Wes right now. Better to think about my future.
I made my way to the living room. No one else was there. Good.
Feeling like a sneak, I logged on the computer and found a list of colleges in the state and then widened the pool. So many options. So many choices. It was a little overwhelming and a lot exciting, so much so that I had to talk to someone. I was hopeful my future could be something amazing.
I hurried up the stairs and knocked on my mom’s door.
“Come in,” she called.
I opened the door, closed it behind me, and sat on her bed. She was putting laundry away into her closet.
“What’s on your mind?” Mom asked.
“College.”
She paused and turned to face me. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks.” I blushed.
“Community college. It’ll be here before you know it.” She resumed putting a shirt onto a hanger.
My lips twisted downward. She figured I’d be going to community college too. Of course she did. I never said anything to suggest otherwise. “Actually…” I trailed off. Maybe I shouldn’t rock the boat. I’d already been accepted into the community college. There was time yet to apply to other schools, but the window was closing soon.
Mom faced me again. “What is it, hon?”
“I was thinking that maybe I could…” Mom’s smiling was falling, so I amended what I was going to say, “…look into other colleges. Keep my options open, you know?”
Her smile returned, wide and happy. “That’s wonderful. I think that’s a great idea.”
“You do?” My chest felt so full.
She put her clothes back into the laundry basket, walked over to me, and gave me a huge hug. Mom sat beside me and held onto one of my hands. “I think that’s great,” she repeated, “but I’m not sure…I’m afraid at how Walter might react.”
My eyes bulged. Dad wouldn’t really try to stop me from going to a different school, would he? Wes was opening my eyes, or at least giving me a different perspective. From his viewpoint, Dad had to seem super controlling and overly harsh.
It was my life. Dad wouldn’t prevent me from living it, right?
***
An hour later, I was playing with Penelope in the kitchen while the moms prepared dinner. She was such a cute, happy baby. I adored her. I loved all of my half-siblings.
As for my step-sibling…I could see two sides to Wes. There was the tender, protective side, like when he held Penelope and when he saved me from those assholes. But there was another side, a darker side. He could be a vengeful, uncontrollable boy who did drugs and fucked whoever he wanted. I hated myself that I still wanted him. How could I even think of saving him from himself? He was a lost cause.
But then I thought about how he had taken the initiation to find himself a job. He’d been so proud of himself, and he’d seemed so happy. He had his bike. Obviously he was into that kind of thing. Maybe he wanted to use living here with us as a chance to turn his life around.
Geez, how naïve could I be? Just seeing him at the party was proof enough he didn’t want to change. He was wild and reckless and didn’t give a damn about anyone but himself.
Dinner wasn’t quite as tension-filled as it had been at times lately. I wasn’t about to bring up my college search, though. Not until I figured out what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and what was best for me.
Dad cleared his throat. “Church tomorrow for everyone.” He looked around the table, and his gaze settled on Wes. “You look much better, Wes. You won’t be missing work tomorrow.”
Wes shrugged. “It must have been the quick stomach flu.”
I stared at my plate. Quick stomach flu? More like hangover. And probably a lack of work ethic too.
“You know what I want to do?” Wes continued, talking pleasantly.
Jacqueline beamed, obviously glad her son was for once volunteering information. “What do you want to do?” she asked.
“I plan to go into mechanics and welding. If you open your own shop, it can bring in decent money, or so I’ve heard.”
Oh no. He was going to make his move. I had no idea how Dad was going to take the news, but I doubted it was going to over well that Wes had gone behind his back and gotten himself a different job after Dad had acquired one for him already.
Although, shouldn’t Wes have a say in what kind of job he worked? Dad had found me a job at a religious bookstore. He hadn’t asked me what I wanted to do either. It hadn’t bothered me before, and I did enjoy working there, but I couldn’t say for certain that that would’ve been the job I’d picked out for myself if I’d been given the opportunity to find my own place of employment.
“It sounds like you’ve thought things through, Wesley.” Jacqueline reached over and patted his arm.
Dad grunted.
“By the way,” Wes continued, “I got a job at the car dealer since it would be better for my future. You did tell me I needed to start thinking about my future, right?”
Everyone fell silent. The only sounds were breathing and silverware clanging against plates. I sneaked a peek at Dad. He was obviously less than pleased, but what could he do? The car dealer, Mickey, was his friend. Wes had set him up, and good.
“That’s great,” I found myself saying when no one said anything.
Wes turned toward me, smiling widely for only a second before recovering and making his face blank again. Maybe he didn’t want to let Dad know how much this meant to him, but that only angered me. Dad should want what was best for Wes, and Wes shouldn’t feel the need to think so poorly of Dad. Not that Dad have given him much reason to think highly of him.
“It is great,” my mom said. “A wonderful opportunity for him, don’t you think?” She didn’t seem to be addressing a particular person with her question.
“So you’ll get to work on cars all day?” Peter asked.
“And motorcycles?” Paul asked.
“Yes and yes.” Wes chuckled.
“So cool!” P and P said at the same time.
“Just when did you have the time to do this?” Dad snapped.
I froze. Uh oh.
Wes and I exchanged a glance. I really didn’t want to get on Dad’s bad side, but I didn’t want to lie either. I wasn’t a good liar. I had no poker face. Dad could always tell.
“We ran into him at the store today,” Wes said smoothly, lying much more convincing than I ever could, “and got to talking.”
Dad was obviously furious. Beyond furious. I only saw his ears get this red once before, and that was when P
and P had accidentally broken one of his priceless vases, a family heirloom he’d inherited from his grandmother. He drummed his fingers on the table. Then he smiled widely, and I squirmed in my seat, afraid what was going to happen next.
