The Texas Rancher's Family

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  “I don’t really want to be visible,” Mac admitted. “That would embarrass Heather. I just want to be available to come to the rescue in case there’s some sort of meltdown.”

  “I understand. Situations like this can be tricky. Here’s what we’ll do.... The event is being held in the cafeteria. You can stand backstage, in the wings, while the student presentations are made, the gifts given. You’ll be able to see and hear what’s going on, but they won’t be able to see you.”

  Mac flashed a smile of gratitude. “Thanks for being so understanding.”

  “No problem. It’s part of a parent’s job to worry.” She winked. “ Even unnecessarily.”

  “Ho, ho,” Mac said, wishing he wasn’t still so concerned.

  It wasn’t like him to be a nervous Nellie—to borrow a phrase from the locals—but there was a lot riding on the morning for both the “women” in his life. He wanted everything to go well.

  By the time they reached the wings, the school’s director was finishing up her introductory remarks. A glimpse into the room showed fifty or so students seated with their moms or mom substitutes. Erin had her arm around the back of Heather’s chair. His daughter was cuddled against her, her cheek resting inside Erin’s elbow. The protectiveness of the gesture hit him right in the gut.

  Mac gulped and stepped back.

  It wasn’t like him to be so sentimental, but something about being here in Laramie had him accessing feelings he usually closed off.

  Was it possible, he wondered, that his little girl felt the same way?

  He’d always figured no one would be able to love her or care for her as much as Cassandra had.

  He saw differently now.

  Erin had known Heather only a few weeks, but the two of them had developed a bond that, if allowed to grow, would last a lifetime. And fill the void left in Erin’s heart by the death of her little girl.

  The question was, would it happen?

  Could he make it happen?

  Everything depended on him and the North Wind Energy deal with Laramie County. Mac knew if he wanted that to take place, he’d better get moving.

  * * *

  “YOU WERE GREAT TODAY.”

  Erin looked up from the boots she was working on for Mac.

  It was ten-thirty, and he stood framed in the doorway of her home studio. The kids, excited about the bus trip to the wind farm tomorrow, were sound asleep. All her siblings were out, enjoying their Friday night social lives.

  She was the only one up. And now Mac, home after what had to have been a killer of a long day. She made sure the boot heels were properly set for weight distribution, then stood. “You were at the tea, weren’t you?”

  Mac took her by the hand and pulled her into his arms. “You saw me?” he murmured, pressing a kiss into her hair.

  Erin rested her cheek on his shoulder. “I felt you there. Somewhere.” Just as she’d felt the presence...the sense of peace and love...of her own daughter.

  Mac cuddled her closer. “Then you were right.” He pressed more kisses into her hair. “I was offstage, in the wings.”

  Erin chuckled at the thought of that. “And they talk about helicopter moms...” she teased, savoring the warmth and strength of his body pressed against hers.

  “They’ve got nothing on me.”

  “How long were you there?” she asked.

  “Just enough to see that Heather and you were both doing okay.”

  “It was very sweet. Low-key. With tea for the grown-ups, milk or juice for the kids, and petits fours and little sandwiches for all. Plus...look what I got.” Erin held out her wrist for his inspection. On it was a rainbow-colored beaded bracelet with a heart-shaped silver clasp. “Heather made it for me.”

  “Beautiful. Just like you.”

  Mac bent his head and kissed Erin. She kissed him back, taking her time with that, too, until they were once again very much in sync.

  Deciding she’d done enough for the day on his custom boots—which were on track to be finished in time for the county commissioners meeting—Erin took him by the hand and led him out of the shop, toward the house. At times like this she almost felt married to him. Which was ridiculous. They weren’t even really dating, although they were lovers. That much was obvious.

  “So.” Aware her spirits were soaring as much as her pulse, and that maybe she was starting to depend on him a little too much for comfort, she decided to put on the brakes. “How was the rest of your day?” There. That sounded casual. Like the kind of thing they could both easily walk away from, as planned.

  “Good. Busy.” The phone buzzed in his pocket, and Mac frowned at the interruption.

  Knowing all he had at stake, Erin advised, “Better get it.”

  Mac took the call. “Wheeler. Yeah. Absolutely.” He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. “There’s still room on the sixth bus for four more.”

  There were six buses now, all headed north?

  Apparently so, Erin deduced, as Mac finished that call and then took the one after, and the one after that.

  She pointed at the fridge, indicating he should help himself, blew him a kiss and then, wary of their early morning and long, long day ahead, headed upstairs to bed.

  * * *

  “AMAZING, ISN’T IT?” Nicholas remarked the following afternoon, as the three hundred citizens gazed out at the North Wind Energy wind farm on the Panhandle.

  It was roughly two-thirds the size of the one being proposed for their county. The turbines stretched out across the plain as far as the eye could see, in line after line.

  “It’s oddly peaceful,” Bridget said.

  “Not to mention environmentally friendly,” Nicholas added.

  Heather pointed at the windmills and bragged to Stevie and Sammy, “That’s what my daddy sells to people. They make ’lectricity.”

  “Awesome!” Sammy and Stevie said in unison.

  At the center of the group, Mac was taking questions, explaining the specifics of how things worked, how long it took to install, and so on.

  The PTA president came over to Erin. “Well, I’m sold. I’m so glad your family is allowing this to happen on Monroe land.”

  The twins’ brows furrowed in unison.

  Erin lifted a hand, indicating she would handle this. “Like I’ve said before...let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Marybeth. Nothing has been officially decided yet.”

  The woman winked. “That’s it. You go, girl. Negotiate the best price you possibly can for your family. Just know that the community is solidly behind you!”

  And so it went for the rest of the trip, during the tour of the power plant supplied by the wind farm, and the long bus ride back to Laramie.

  By the time they finally got back to the ranch late Saturday evening, Erin was completely overwhelmed by the pressure, guilt and indecision.

  Bridget and Bess took one look at her and knew she needed a break. “Why don’t you two let us put the kids to bed?” Bess asked. She waved Mac and Erin back out the door they had just come through. “Why don’t you-all go relax somewhere.”

  “We do have to feed the horses,” Erin said.

  “Got that covered, sis,” Nicholas said.

  Another look of heightened concern passed among the three siblings, and suddenly Erin knew. “What’s going on?” Mac asked as they walked back out the door to the porch.

  She settled on the bench swing, her mood taking another downward spiral. “They’re worried about me.”

  Mac sat beside her and draped his arm along the back of the swing.

  Erin settled against him, felt the welcoming heat of his body. Right or wrong, at this moment she needed Mac. “Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.” Which he knew. What he didn’t was...

  Erin swallowed hard and kept her eyes on the soft glow of the moonlight flooding the yard. Quietly, she said, “The second anniversary of Angelica’s death is also tomorrow. We’ve got plans to go to the cemetery and visit her grave site, as a family. So...” She breathed
around the sudden clenching in her chest. “My guess is they’re probably wondering if I’m going to lose it.”

  Mac tightened his hold on her. “Is that what’s happened in the past?”

  The tightness in Erin’s chest became a pain around her heart. Tears blurred her eyes. “It’s hard.”

  He turned to take her all the way into his arms, hugged her fiercely. This was the place where people usually offered up lots of platitudes in consolation. Mac did none of that. Instead, he asked, “Want Heather and me to go with you?”

  Erin did, but Heather was just a little girl....

  Mac pulled back far enough to be able to look into Erin’s eyes. “She understands grief. We’ve visited her mom’s grave site together, too. She knows it can be healing.” He gently touched Erin’s face. “But in the end it’s whatever you want...” he proclaimed softly.

  There was no question there, Erin knew. No question about what she needed. Blinking back tears, she told him, “What I want is for you and Heather to go with us.” What I want is for all of us to be together, to be a family.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Erin?” Bess called from downstairs at nine the next morning. “Phone for... Oh. Okay,” she continued, before Erin could reach her. “Yes. I’ll tell her.”

  With one hand on the banister, Erin stopped to put on her flats.

  “That was G.W. He won’t be able to make it this morning.”

  Big surprise, Erin thought.

  “He said he’ll go by later to pay his respects,” her sister added.

  Erin nodded. She hadn’t really expected her ex to go with them. To her knowledge, he hadn’t visited their daughter’s grave since the day they’d buried her. The grief was just too much for him.

  “You okay?” Bridget asked, as Erin joined her at the bottom of the steps.

  She nodded.

  Sammy and Stevie came down the stairs next. They were dressed as Erin had requested, in their good shirts, khaki pants and boots. Heather followed in one of her frilly pink dresses and pink cowgirl boots. Mac was right behind her. In a sage-green shirt, black slacks and the ready-made boots she’d sold him, he looked debonair as ever.

  Nicholas and Gavin arrived from the kitchen, where they’d been having breakfast. “Everybody ready?” Erin asked.

  There were nods all around.

  “Then let’s go,” she said.

  At Erin’s request—she wanted some time alone with her sons in case they had anything on their minds—they drove out to the cemetery in a four-car caravan. The twins in one, Erin and the boys in another, Mac and Heather in a third. Nicholas rode with Gavin in his pickup truck.

  “I like having Mac and Heather with us,” Sammy said after a while.

  “It’s kind of like having a dad again,” Stevie agreed, happiness radiating in his voice. “Not that he is our dad, but...” He shot Erin an apprehensive glance. “You know what I mean.”

  She nodded, not the least bit upset. “I do.” It felt good having a man she could count on around. Good to have Mac stand by her. As a lover, as a friend. And maybe, if she was very lucky one day, something more...

  “Do you think he might decide to stay here in Texas?” Sammy asked. “People do that all the time, you know. They decide they like Laramie and buy a house here and stuff. Even if it’s just for weekends.”

  Erin knew that was true. Texans were big on having rural retreats. Whether in the form of a ranch or simply a cabin somewhere didn’t seem to matter. Everyone liked the great outdoors.

  “I don’t know, honey.” Erin’s heart lurched as the Laramie Memorial Cemetery came into view. “Mac’s home and work are in Philadelphia—and that’s a long way from here—so I wouldn’t count on it.”

  “But he and Heather could come and visit us, couldn’t he? Anytime they wanted? Maybe vacation here?” Stevie asked.

  Erin smiled. “We will certainly tell them our door is always open, and to come back as often as they like. How’s that?”

  In her rearview mirror, she saw the boys nod enthusiastically.

  Erin followed the twins down the winding drive to the Monroe family section.

  The sun was shining in a clear blue sky overhead. The temperature was warm and temperate. A soft flower-scented breeze was blowing. Just as it had been the day they’d laid Angelica to rest,

  Erin gathered with her family around the headstone. They joined hands and said a brief, heartfelt prayer. “Amen.” The sound of their mingled voices echoed through the peaceful tranquility of the morning.

  It was odd, Erin thought, to feel so comforted by such a simple ritual. Odd to feel so close to her daughter, here and now.

  And just that suddenly, grief welled.

  Bridget let out a sob. Bess clapped a hand over her mouth. Tears flowed. Sammy and Stevie broke free of Erin to engulf a tearful Heather in a hug. The next thing Erin knew, Mac’s arms were around her, holding her close. His tears were wet on her face. Hers dampened his shirt. Needing him as never before, she clasped him tightly, as Nicholas and Gavin hugged their sisters. And the heartbreak of loss led to an even greater outpouring of love.

  Eventually, though, they all got hold of themselves.

  One by one the tears stopped...and tremulous smiles slowly emerged.

  Before long, everyone became aware of the sound of the birds in the trees, and the warmth of the Texas breeze on that peaceful Sunday morning.

  “Mom. What about the balloons?” Sammy asked.

  “Yeah, we got to send them up to Angelica in heaven,” Stevie insisted.

  “I have them,” Erin said. She went over to the twins’ sedan, where she’d put a box containing a dozen pastel balloons with strings. She also had paper, pens and tape for everyone.

  “We get to write a message to Angelica,” Sammy explained to Heather.

  “Yeah, and we’re gonna send her some of our ribbons from track-and-field day, too,” Stevie said. “So she can have some, too, even though she didn’t get to participate.”

  Touched, Erin said, “That’s really nice, boys. I know she’ll like that and be proud of you both.”

  Heather pulled the pink ribbon headband from her hair. “Daddy, can I send this? ’Cause Angelica might not have one up there.”

  Mac hugged his daughter. “I think that’s a great idea.”

  The next few minutes were busy ones, as messages were written and secured, one by one, to the strings on the balloons. Finally, they all were done. Everyone held their balloons. “Ready?” Erin asked, and they all let go at once.

  The balloons drifted upward in a rainbow of pastel colors. Scattering, catching on the breeze, they went higher and higher until they disappeared from view.

  Silence fell.

  Erin was at peace once again. And so, it seemed, was everyone else.

  Mac came over and caught her hand in his. This time he didn’t let go.

  * * *

  “I VOTE FOR A PICNIC,” Bess said, as they headed en masse toward their vehicles.

  Erin was surprised Mac still had her palm clasped tightly in his, but was no more ready to let go of him than he was of her. She needed him today. And he seemed to need her, as well.

  “How about on the bluffs?” Bridget asked. “We haven’t been there as a family in forever. Not since, well...” She paused, looked at Erin as if for permission. “Don’t you think it’s time?”

  Erin blushed as she thought about the wild pleasure she and Mac had enjoyed on the bluffs. It had always been her favorite place on the ranch. Now even more so. The irreverent grin tugging at the corners of his mouth said Mac was thinking the same. “Okay with me,” he said with a shrug.

  The little kids let out a whoop that was somehow appropriate to the situation. One, Erin knew, that Angelica would have participated in, as well. “Then let’s go,” she said. “I’ll get the food and—”

  “No, you won’t,” Bess said.

  “The rest of us will handle it,” Bridget promised. “You and Mac go on up to the bluffs a
nd relax. This is Mother’s Day. You deserve a break, and Mac—we’re relying on you to see that she gets it.”

  * * *

  “THAT WAS QUITE A BIT of matchmaking back there,” Erin said forty-five minutes later, when she and Mac got out of his SUV and walked toward the pavilion. “Do you mind?”

  “No.” He ran a hand up and down her back. “We haven’t had very much time alone lately.”

  She met his gaze. “I’ve missed you.”

  He bent his head and kissed her warmly. “I’ve missed you.” He wrapped his arms around her, and Erin felt a familiar peace steal over her. They stayed like that for a while.

  “I wish things were different,” she said finally. She gave herself up to him, savoring their closeness. “I wish we’d met years ago. When we both were free.”

  In answer, Mac tugged her even closer and ruffled her hair. “Then there’d be no Heather and Sammy and Stevie and Angelica.”

  Erin smiled at his practical nature. “No divorce or loss of spouse. No business complications or far-flung jobs and residences keeping us apart.”

  He kissed her temple. “I thought we were keeping this light and easy.”

  She sucked in an uneven breath. “I’m trying.”

  He drew back to search her eyes. “But it’s a fruitless effort.”

  Erin shrugged and couldn’t look away. “Whenever I’m near you like this, this is all I want.” She stood on tiptoe and lightly pressed her lips to his. “You’re all I want.”

  He shook his head with a mixture of lust and something else...something far deeper...in his blue eyes. “You’re all I want, too,” he told her huskily, kissing her again, even more passionately this time.

  When at last Mac pulled back, he looked down at her as if memorizing her features for all time. “We need to talk,” he told her in a low voice. “About us. About everything. But it’s going to have to wait until after the business side is concluded.”

  Erin inhaled a shaky breath. Was it possible Mac was as deeply enamored of her as she was of him? As reluctant to let go? “Agreed.”

  His expression implacable, Mac said, “I don’t want anything—especially business—getting in the way.”