Why would Zach want Lucas to spank him? He didn’t get it.
The slamming of the front door broke his train of thought. “Lucaaaaaaas!”
Lucas winced. He managed to close his web browser seconds before his door flew open.
Mason stormed over to where Lucas sat on the bed, his nostrils flared. “What did you do to Zach?”
“Nothing. Why? What’s wrong with him?”
“How the fuck should I know? He didn’t show up for the meet.”
“What?”
Zach had never missed a meet. Lucas knew he was upset, but surely not enough to miss a meet.
“We needed him today. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good flyer? I can barely fly one length of the pool,” Mason said as he threw his arms up in the air. “You couldn’t even fly the length of a bathtub.”
“Oh God. What if he was in an accident?”
Mason scoffed. “He wasn’t in an accident. Coach said he was sick.”
“Maybe he is.”
“Bullshit. He didn’t just happen to get sick the same night you come home bawling your eyes out.”
Lucas glanced at his feet. “I’m sorry.”
“I knew something like this would happen. Why are you always wrecking my life?”
“Mason!”
Both boys looked over to find their father standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed in front of his torso, and he wore a stern expression. “Stop yelling. You’re gonna pop a blood vessel. This isn’t your brother’s fault. Zach’s responsible for his own actions.”
Mason huffed, then turned back to Lucas. “I don’t care what you have to say or do. You better go over there and fix Zach. Right now.”
“That’s enough, Mason. Let them work it out on their own.”
Mason left the room and then yelled from the hall, “This is bullshit, cowshit, horseshit, and donkeyshit.”
Lucas saw his dad crack a smile, and he couldn’t resist doing the same. It wasn’t funny, but he couldn’t help it. Rage-Mason had been right about one thing. He did need to apologize to Zach.
HE TRIED to plan out his speech in the shower and then again in the car, but it was no good. He couldn’t find the right words. What was he going to say? He knew he’d been unfair and that he’d overreacted, but he also knew his worries hadn’t changed. Even so, he’d realized he wasn’t ready to give up. He wasn’t going to walk away from Zach. He wanted to give it a try. He just hoped Zach would listen and let him apologize. As he pulled up to the front of Zach’s house, he grabbed his phone.
Lucas: quick. i need a pep talk
Trish: to do what?
Lucas: face my fears
Trish: u can do it, boo
Trish: u r fabulous!
Lucas: thx
Lucas took a deep breath. If things went badly, he’d call her back and beg for a shoulder to cry on.
Alex: do u need help?
Lucas: lol, are you two joined at the hip?
Alex: no, we’re joined at the crotch
Lucas: OMG… going now…
Alex: u ok?
Lucas: for now, yes
Alex: good luck, dude
Lucas: thx
Lucas bit his lip as he reached for the doorbell. He hoped to avoid a run-in with Zach’s mom. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited for someone to answer. Why hadn’t he just gone inside with Zach last night? They could have talked this all out then.
The door swung open, revealing a wary-looking Zach.
“Can I come in?”
Zach didn’t answer but moved aside to let Lucas in.
Lucas glanced around nervously.
“She’s not here,” Zach said.
“Okay. Can we talk?”
Zach nodded and led Lucas into the family room. They sat on opposite ends of the couch, where the distance between them felt vast.
Lucas wet his lips, struggling to find words. “I came to say I’m sorry.”
Zach sat with shoulders drooped as he fixed his gaze on Lucas. “Sorry for what?”
The tension in the air was thick. Lucas knew there was a lot riding on his answer.
“I’m sorry for leaving.”
Zach’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “I thought you’d left me for good.”
“I’m sorry,” Lucas said again. “That’s the last thing I want.”
Zach reached his arms out, and Lucas dove into them. He couldn’t stop his tears as he squeezed his arms around the boy he loved.
“One of these days,” Zach said, “we’ll get through a day without crying.”
Lucas laughed in between sniffles and then nodded. “I promise.”
He knew the hard part was yet to come, but at least Zach still wanted him.
They held each other for a few minutes before Zach pulled away. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from Lucas’s face, then leaned forward for a warm, wet kiss.
“Are we okay?” said Zach.
“Yeah.” Lucas nodded as he gathered his courage. “I’ll do it if you want me to… I’ll spank you.”
Zach snorted through his nose and laughed.
Lucas frowned.
Zach didn’t have to laugh. It might seem ridiculous, but he could at least let Lucas try.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—no, I don’t want you to spank me.” Zach bit his lips in an attempt to hide his smile. “But it’s nice to know you’re willing.”
Lucas folded his arms. “You don’t think I could do it?”
“I have complete faith in you,” he said, smiling. “But I’m not letting you anywhere near a paddle.”
Lucas furrowed his brow. “So you don’t like it?”
Zach sighed. “At the moment, I’d like to spank you. But why don’t we stick to the regular stuff first? Then see where it goes.”
“Okay.” But Lucas didn’t understand.
“I can see your brain turning. What are you thinking?”
“Um… just… this would be a lot easier if I knew what you wanted me to do.”
“What I want you to do,” he said, pulling Lucas in close, “is to stop worrying. Tell me what you like and what you don’t like as we go, and I’ll do the same. We’ll figure it out together. You remember the first night you came here? When you got upset because you thought I was going to ask you about Donovan?”
Lucas nodded.
“Why didn’t you want me to know?”
“Because. It was a mistake. I wish I’d never done anything with him.”
“That’s how I feel about David. We went out for months, and during that time we always did whatever he wanted to do. He never cared about what I wanted. And I went along with it because he was my boyfriend. I wanted to make him happy. But some of the stuff he wanted to do, I wasn’t into. Instead of accepting that and trying some of the stuff I wanted to do, he dumped me.”
“Do you think that’ll happen to us?” Lucas said in a shaky voice.
“What? No. Why would that happen to us?”
“If I don’t want to do stuff.”
“No, of course not. I’m not like that, Lucas. I wouldn’t enjoy it if I knew you weren’t enjoying it too.”
“But won’t you miss it?”
“No. Wait, what exactly are we talking about? What is it that’s got you so spooked?”
Lucas licked his lips. It was hard to say out loud. “You know… like, toys and stuff.”
Zach chuckled. “No, I don’t even have any. Dude, my mom would freak if she found a sex toy in my room.”
“Mine would too.”
“So no toys. Although we may choose to revisit that rule in the future.”
“Okay.”
“And I have a request too.”
Lucas tensed. “Hmm?”
“If we ever have another fight, or whatever you want to call it, don’t walk out. I was so scared you’d left me.”
Lucas squeezed him tighter. “I promise.”
Zach twirled his fingers in Lucas’s hair, th
en tugged his head back lightly. Having gained access to his throat, Zach leaned in and gently sucked on Lucas’s skin. He left a trail of openmouthed kisses up his neck and along his jaw. Lucas fisted Zach’s shirt, his arousal growing quickly.
They made out for what felt like an hour, then Zach asked, “Come upstairs with me?”
LUCAS toed off his shoes and then climbed onto the bed where Zach was sprawled and waiting. Lucas wet his lips as he knelt beside him. He didn’t know what he should do, how he should lay, where he should put his hands.
“C’mere. Sit on top of me.”
Lucas swung his leg over Zach, straddling his thighs. For a split second he toyed with the idea of reaching for Zach’s zipper, but waited to take his cues from Zach instead. If only Zach would keep telling him what to do, step-by-step, this would be far less nerve-racking.
“Take off your shirt.”
Lucas stared down at Zach. It was a simple request, but his fingers failed to obey. His breath came faster.
Zach placed his hands on Lucas’s thighs and kneaded slowly.
“Take off your shirt.”
Lucas relented, grabbing the hem of his T-shirt. He swallowed nervously, then tugged the shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He crossed his arms in front of himself as if he could somehow hide, but Zach peeled his arms open like a curtain.
“You’re beautiful.”
I’m nothing. His lower lip quivered.
Zach planted both hands firmly on Lucas’s ass. He jerked Lucas forward, repositioning him so that he was seated directly on top of Zach’s erection. Zach thrust his hips up, grinding into him.
“Fuck, Lucas,” he moaned. “You make me so hot.”
Lucas let out a whimper. He could hardly believe he was causing this kind of reaction in Zach. His own breathing shallowed as Zach continued to thrust against him. When Zach stripped off his own shirt, Lucas stared down at him in awe, those gorgeous muscles he’d worshiped from afar for so long suddenly within reach.
“Touch me.”
Lucas obeyed, reaching forward with tentative fingers. Zach’s smooth belly felt like silk under his fingertips. He trailed his fingers along the ridges of Zach’s abs and let his hand travel upward until it found the dip between his pecs. Lucas inched his fingers to the right, stopping to rest his hand over Zach’s heart.
Zach pulled him down into a sloppy kiss, which lasted mere moments before he flipped them over.
For the first time, Lucas felt a boy’s bare chest pressed against his own. His heart pounded.
When Zach groped him, kneading his cock through his jeans, Lucas tensed.
“Is this okay?” Zach whispered.
Lucas didn’t answer.
“Do you want me to stop?”
He shook his head slightly.
“Don’t be nervous,” Zach said. “I want to make you feel good. You don’t have to do anything.”
Lucas nodded. As he felt Zach tug on his pants, he squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t bear to suffer Zach’s disappointment should he not like what Lucas had to offer. Once his pants were off, he felt Zach yank on each of his socks, and then nothing. Zach wasn’t touching him at all. He was too afraid to open his eyes, too afraid to face his worst fear.
“Look at me.”
Lucas did as he was told, his mouth falling open when he saw the boy standing at the foot of the bed. They were now both in their underwear, but Zach’s briefs left nothing to the imagination. They proudly displayed the outline of his engorged cock.
Lucas’s own erection had started to wane while his mind wandered into dark places, and instinctively, he moved his hand to cover himself.
Zach slipped his underwear down and stepped out of them, staring at Lucas with an intensity that made Lucas’s skin tingle. It was the most erotic thing he’d even seen, real or imagined, and he quickly became fully aroused again.
“Take yours off.”
Lucas didn’t hesitate. He was so turned on, he didn’t think about what he was doing. He just did it.
Zach’s eyebrows lifted in surprise when he saw him fully naked. “You’re uncut,” he said, mouth hanging slightly open. “That’s so fucking hot!”
Zach crawled back onto the bed and reached over Lucas to grab something from his dresser. His nipple was directly over Lucas’s head as he strained to reach inside the drawer. It was too tempting. Lucas lifted his head and sucked it into his mouth.
“Mmm… that’s a sensitive spot. We’ll have to come back to that later,” Zach told him, moving back into position above Lucas. He was holding a bottle of lube.
Lucas squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to give himself a mental pep talk.
When he opened his eyes again, he found Zach rubbing the lube in his palms. Then he took hold of Lucas’s cock and stroked it, getting it nice and slick. That could only mean one thing. Zach wanted Lucas to fuck him. He whimpered.
Zach groaned. “Mmm, you make the sexiest noises.”
Lucas felt the heat in his cheeks. He hadn’t been paying attention to his noises. Between the mind-blowing pleasure Zach was lavishing on his cock, and his own mental freak-out, he’d probably been whimpering something fierce.
Zach grabbed the lube again but this time squirted it into Lucas’s hand.
Did Zach expect him to… use his fingers?
“Touch me.” Zach grabbed Lucas’s hand and guided it to his cock.
They both moaned as Lucas touched him for the first time. Lucas’s breath caught as he watched his hand slide up and down Zach’s shaft. Lucas wasn’t going to last much longer.
Zach aligned their bodies and wrapped a hand around their cocks. Zach’s dick looked massive next to Lucas’s, but Lucas pushed his worries aside. All rational thought seeped away, and in its place rose the overpowering desire to come.
Zach leaned forward and lay on top of him, his larger body enfolding Lucas as he thrust against him. “Come with me,” Zach whispered frantically in Lucas’s ear. “Oh fuck, Lucas.” Zach pumped his hips frantically while Lucas held on for the ride. He was no longer in control of his body. His muscles tightened: his abs, his thighs, his ass. Hell, even his toes curled tightly as he sped toward his climax. Zach shot first, releasing his load on Lucas’s belly with several deep grunts, and then he continued to pump until Lucas came a few moments afterward.
They shared a few breathless kisses, and then Zach flopped backward, panting. “So hot, Lucas.”
Lucas was so happy he wanted to cry.
Zach groped for his hand, then tugged him closer. “Come here,” he said. “Gimme proper man cuddles.”
“You’re bossy in bed,” Lucas observed.
“Is that a complaint?”
“No. No, I like it.”
“Good to know.”
“That was so much better than I thought it would be.”
“Hmm… should I be flattered or offended?”
“What? No, it’s just—I was nervous. When you got the lube, I thought you wanted to have sex.”
“We did have sex.”
“I mean… you know… I thought you wanted me to… fuck you.”
Zach lifted himself onto an elbow and looked down at Lucas in surprise. “Did you want to fuck me?”
Lucas hesitated. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing and displease Zach. But he shook his head slowly.
“Did you want me to fuck you?”
Lucas wet his lips. His voice cracked as he answered. “I don’t know.”
“It’s okay. Some gay guys don’t do that at all. It’s not a requirement or anything.”
Lucas released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
Zach laughed at him. “You’re so freaking cute,” he said as he leaned down, then kissed Lucas’s nose. “How about we just take our time? Don’t freak out about it. We’re not gonna do something like that without talking about it first.”
Lucas nodded. What had he done to deserve someone as wonderful as Zach? If this was all a dream, he prayed he’d n
ever wake up.
Chapter Twenty-One
Play Me a Memory
WAS there anything more nerve-racking than having your boyfriend meet your parents for the first time? Zach had only briefly met his dad the evening of their first date, but tonight they were all having a sit-down dinner together. It was the night of the talent show, and they had decided to celebrate by going to the restaurant of Lucas’s choice. Mason, of course, lobbied for Bay’s, but Lucas wouldn’t consider it. He wanted to go somewhere special. He ultimately decided on a small, Greek seafood restaurant in Fell’s Point.
He rode to the restaurant with Zach, who tried to calm his nerves. “Don’t worry,” said Zach. “I can schmooze with the best of them.”
When they arrived at The Black Olive, his family was waiting inside. His dad glanced down at their clasped hands, but Lucas couldn’t read his expression. Did it embarrass him that they were holding hands in public? Lucas pulled his hand free and ran his fingers through his hair.
The hostess seated them at a round table with Zach to his left and Mason to his right. It was a busy night, but despite the crowd, the noise level was low. Only quiet chattering and the occasional clinking of glassware could be heard over the soft background music. The waitress took their drink orders and left them to peruse the menus.
His mom smiled at him from across the table. “You two look so handsome together.”
Lucas beamed at his boyfriend. He was proud to be out with him, to have him by his side.
“He’s the good-looking one,” Zach teased. “I’m the troll.”
“They better have something besides fish,” Mason said as he picked up his menu.
“Don’t listen to him,” said Lucas. “The Mediterranean sea bass is amazing. They cook it whole and debone it for you tableside.”
Mason shot him look of warning. “Don’t say bone.”
Zach chuckled, and Lucas rolled his eyes. “I said, ‘debone.’ It’s what you do to fish.”
His dad cleared his throat. “This is going to be an entertaining meal.”
After placing their dinner order, his mom asked Zach the typical starter questions: what did his parents do, how long had he lived in Baltimore, how long had he been swimming? His dad asked him about his plans for next year, where he wanted to go to school and what he wanted to do afterward. Lucas had been wondering that himself but had been afraid to broach the subject.
Play Me, I'm Yours [Library Edition] Page 20
