Magic and Mayhem: Sh*t My Shifter Says (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Witches Gone Wild Book 2)
Page 4
Tabor was bashing the roadkill left and right as they infiltrated the house through broken windows. Liz the lizard was smacking them away with her tail, shouting obscenities Immie hadn’t ever heard before. Dorcas was zipping back and forth in sheer panic trying to point out the obvious. They were screwed.
“Yeah.” Patsy looked around. “You’ve got a real clusterfuck here.”
“You are the zombie whisperer,” said Baba Yaga. “Do something.”
Patsy reached down and grabbed a bunny gnawing on the couch. She looked into its cloudy gaze. “What the hell’s going on?”
The rabbit growled. Patsy narrowed her gaze. “What?”
The rabbit growled again and this time emphasized the scary noise with some teeth gnashing.
“Fine.” Patsy dropped the bunny and then punted into the wall. “Whoever was controlling these things is AWOL.”
“What do you mean, AWOL?” yelled Theo. “Are you saying something’s wrong with Giselda?”
“I don’t know,” said Patsy. “All I can tell you is unless you get the witch who put this spell on you, you’re stuck with the Bunny Fu-Fu method.”
“What the hell is that?” asked Tabor.
Picking ‘em up and popping them on the head, answered Dorcas.
She looked at Baba Yaga. “Next time, use a damned phone. Now, I’m going home. If you kidnap me again, I’ll show you a real zombie army, and you won’t like it.”
In less than a second, Patsy was gone again.
“I dare her to send a zombie army,” muttered Baba Yaga. “I’ll turn everyone in her entire town into frogs. How about that?”
“Who fucking cares!” yelled Immie. Panic overrode her fear of angering Baba Yaga. Immie’s family and home were under attack and she didn’t have time for a pissing contest between paranormal queens. “Giselda promised to keep the zombies at the gate.”
Baba Yaga apparently decided to ignore Immie’s panicked outburst and focus on the matter at hand. “Obviously something’s wrong. The only way a witch’s spell can be broken is if---“
“What?”
“If she’s out of commission.”
“You mean dead?”
Theo roared from the kitchen and stumbled into the living room, his face half-morphed into a bear. “She’s not dead!” His voice was all anguished growl.
“If she was dead, her spells would be, too.” Baba Yaga. “Giselda keeps her word. If the bunnies are rampaging, it’s because she can’t access her magic.”
“Get me to Giselda,” demanded Theo.
“You really love that sniggled-tooth skank?” asked Baba Yaga.
“With all my heart.”
“Then get your furry ass over here. You have a damsel to rescue.”
* * *
Theo appeared in an empty hallway and he was alone. Baba Yaga had left him to do the rescuing on his own, and that was the way he preferred it.
He heard the murmured conversations and lame music of the witch’s ball further back, toward the ballroom entrance. But he sensed that Giselda was not at the dance.
He shifted into his bear form and lifted his snout into the air. The barest hint of lavender and honey teased his nostrils. Giselda. He followed the scent down the hallway. It got stronger at a door on the right, and he wasted no time bashing it in.
In the dimly lit room, he saw Adler, dressed in his pretentious gold clothing, straighten away from a woman collapsed into a fold-out chair. He immediately knew that Giselda was unconscious witch and given the startled look on Adler’s pointy little face, he knew that bastard had done something.
Theo bolted toward the elf and had him pinned to the floor before Adler could even move a step. “What did you do?” he rasped. He lifted his paw as if to swipe.
“I gave her a tiny bit of poison.”
Theo pressed his claws down on the elf’s scrawny neck. “You murdered her.”
“No! The amount of belladonna I gave her only made her pass out.” The elf fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a vial filled with yellowy liquid. “Look! I hadn’t given her the rest yet.”
“You were trying to kill her.” Theo’s allowed his claws to bite into Adler’s flesh, drawing blood. “I ought to rip off your head and eat your insides.” Theo pushed his face down until he was mere inches from Adler. “Lucky for you, I hate the taste of elf. Too bitter, if you ask me.”
“Spare me, and I will never bother you or Giselda again.”
“Or step foot in Las Vegas.”
“I own casinos!”
“Out. Of. Vegas.”
Adler swallowed hard. “Consider me gone.”
“I suggest you disappear now before I change my mind and rip off your limbs.”
* * *
When Giselda awoke, she found Theo at her feet. She was propped in a chair, disoriented and dizzy, her skin clammy. “What happened? Where are we?” She studied Theo’s pale face and fearful gaze.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he said. He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry, babe.”
Giselda heard the muted music as she looked around at the taupe walls and metal chairs. She realized her mask had been taken off—she spotted it on the floor next to her chair. Theo gripped her hands. “You smell like honey and lavender to me,” he said softly. “You’re my mate.”
The mind could lie. It could rationalize and justify and fabricate.
But the heart…no, never. And Giselda’s heart had been whispering to her forever. She’d ignored those tender tidings, losing herself in pretend ire and foolish pride, refusing to confess her own love.
Her heart wasn’t whispering now. It cried out in recognition, blasting through logic and practicality and, hell, even reality.
With trembling fingers, she cupped Theo’s face. “You smell like chocolate chip cookies,” she admitted.
Giselda stood up, holding on to the back of the chair while she waited for her legs to stop feeling like wet noodles. “Adler did this to me. And he stole my necklace!”
“I have your necklace.” Theo pulled it from his front jean pocket and handed it to her. “You don’t have to worry about Adler. He’ll leave us alone.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he likes his head attached to his neck.” Theo drew Giselda closer. She saw tenderness swirling within his gaze. “Marry me.”
The heart never lied. She rejoiced fully in the presence of this man—and her love stretched toward him with open arms.
He waited. He kept his gaze on hers, and let her see all the love he had for her.
“Kiss me,” she said.
“As you wish.” He stepped toward her, and gently drew into his embrace. He brushed his lips across hers. Her whole body tingled with just that small, sweet gesture. He pulled back. “I’m the man who loves you—for all time.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and Goddess help her, Giselda believed him.
“Okay,” she said, melting into his arms. “But I think you better kiss me again to seal the deal.”
Chapter Eight
The bunny horde dropped to the floor, inanimate, and finally dead. Dead-dead, not undead-dead. One minute Tabor and Immie were battling their way through mangled, feral furballs and the next, they were standing in the middle of the room, huffing, sweating, and holding weapons. The pile of corpses on the floor and in the yard were a bitter reminder of just how close they’d come to losing each other, losing their lives.
“The spell is broken.” Immie dropped the fire poker. “Thank the Goddess.”
“I guess Theo saved the day,” said Tabor. “His witch must still be alive.”
If he would’ve sacked up years ago, none of this would have happened, Dorcas said.
“You’re such a romantic,” said Tabor.
Dorcas rolled her eyes.
“I’m not cleaning this mess up,” Immie said, looking around at the littered bodies. “Giselda owes me new floors. And a new gate. And a new garden.”
“I’ll take of all that, Imm
ie. I’d rather I never see that witch again. Never. She’s crazy.” He looked at the ghost crone zipping back and forth. “Dorcas Hoar kind of crazy, and I can only live with one Dorcas in my life.”
Immie laughed.
Well, you guys aren’t shooting rainbows and sunshine out your asses, either.
The twins and Tabor’s mom, Ronda, came out of the bedroom. “Is it over now?” Eden said. “Ewww,” Erin said. “Cool. Can I keep one?”
“No,” said Ronda. “I think the girls need to stay at my house until you deal with the cleanup. I suggest you torch the place and rebuild. It’d be easier.”
Immie and Tabor kissed the girls good-bye, and Ronda, being a bear Shifter and therefore strong as hell, picked up the twins and carted them over the carnage.
“Why don’t you two take Auntie Dorcas and Liz with you?”
They both nodded, giggling as they magically captured Dorcas and dragged her along.
No! I refuse! Heeeeeeelp me! Dorcas yelled, though her expression was filled with delight. The children bubbled over with laughter.
“Ta, mates.” Liz scuttled out the front door behind them.
Tabor tossed the bat to the floor and collapsed on the couch.
Immie joined him.
“You’ve got gore on your face,” Tabor said.
“I know.” Immie sighed.
“You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”
Immie let a small smile play on her lips. “All this action making you frisky?”
“Even with all the bunny guts on your cheeks.” He put his arm around her and pulled her close.
Immie snuggled in.
Tabor stroked her arm. “Maybe we go to a hotel tonight. Have a shower. Order room service.”
“Hell, yeah,” said Immie. “It’s getting too crazy around here.”
“Well, honey.” Tabor kissed the top of her head. “It’s not called Wild, Texas for nothing.”
Amazing Magic & Mayhem Authors
Robyn Peterman
Michele Bardsley
Saranna DeWylde
Renee George
Cate Lawley
Heather Long
Cherie Marks
Hildie McQueen
Isabel Micheals
Julia Mills
Virginia Nelson
Jordan K. Rose
Sharon Saracino
DC Thome
Jodi Vaughn