Becoming Maddie (The Casterhouse series Book 1)

by Hannah Gittins

  Biting her lip she tried to hold in the smile that wanted to burst out and have the world see it. Even as she walked now, she wanted to giggle or wave at everyone she passed. People were going to think she was crazy and have her locked up.

  Maybe this is just what it’s like after good sex. No amazing sex. Maybe people felt this way all time.

  Maddie wouldn’t know.

  When she was with Charles she had thought he was a good lover, at the start of their relationship anyway. As soon as they were marred it changed, became something to avoid at all costs.

  With Aiden there was real pleasure.

  She had always believed that the hype about orgasms was just totally untrue, that in fact they were just way over rated. Maddie was pretty sure she had had one at one point but it hadn’t been something to get so excited about. She had been attracted to Charles but not like she was to Aiden. No it was totally different with Aiden.

  Aiden had given her an actual big O and it was definitely something to write home about and not over rated at all. If anything, Maddie thought, it might be totally under rated.

  Charles use to take her hand and lead her to the bedroom and that was that. No foreplay or any of what had happened with her and Aiden this morning. Charles wanted some alone time with her and that was what he got. He got off and then went back to what he was doing before the mood had struck him. Maddie never complained. At the start of their relationship she had even thought that made her special, that he was doing something and would suddenly want to be connected to her. She soon lost that rose tinted look at her love life with Charles.

  In fact, Maddie lost that rose tinted look at her whole life with Charles.

  Frowning, Maddie picked up the pace so that she could leave the thoughts of her brutal ex behind and focus on what was making her ache in nice places and want to smile all the time.

  Looking down at Marvin she could see he was enjoying their walk as well. He sniffed at every post and corner they went passed. His tale was wagging constantly. Making a quick, on the spot decision she pulled out her phone, stopped and moved them out of the way of the people passing by.

  Moving fast so that she didn’t chicken out, she pulled out her phone and dialled Fiona. As she held it to her ear her heart was racing and filling her with doubt. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. It was too late though as the ringing tone stopped suddenly.

  “Hello?” Eddie’s voice came over the phone.

  Eddie answered. Maddie for some reason didn’t even think about this happening. She found herself really unsure how to handle this. This was a totally strange reaction to have. He had been nothing but kind to her when she had met him. It was probably just because she was doing something without planning it, which went against every grain in Maddie’s body, and it hadn’t been Fiona that answered the phone.

  “Hello?” Eddie said again.

  “Um…Hi.” Maddie stuttered back.

  “Maddie?” Eddie said, the surprise clear in his voice. “Are you okay?”

  With that one question all of her reservations about making the call and having to speak to Eddie left her in a flash. Maddie had phoned and the first thing Eddie wanted to check was that she was okay. Aiden may not be his son by birth but there was so much of Eddie in him.

  “Yeah I am fine.” Maddie paused still feeling good vibes from his concern.

  “Are you wanting to speak to Fiona?” Eddie guessed. “I am afraid she is out. Can I help? I might not be as good with advice but I have two working ears.”

  Maddie gave a little laugh down the phone. Why not ask Eddie?

  “Well I am out for a walk with Marvin just now and thought I would go to the park with him. Maybe get a hot chocolate and watch him chase some birds.” She started but Eddie cut into her long winded invitation.

  “I will be there in 10 minutes.” Eddie said quickly. “Is that too long?”

  Maddie smiled and bit her lip to stop another grin.

  “That would be great. We will be by the main pond.” She said.

  “Okay be there in ten. You wanting me to bring the drinks?” Eddie asked and in the background she could hear him jiggling keys and making other getting ready noises.

  “No.” Maddie answered. “I will get them from the stand. Hot chocolate? Or something else?”

  “Coffee. Black. Right that’s me walking out the door see you soon.” And with that Eddie hung up and Maddie knew he really was walking out the door and on his way to her as quickly as he could.

  The happy warmth that she seemed to be full of that day just got stronger. Stepping back onto the main path she crossed the road and walked into the park. Marvin knew exactly what that meant and couldn’t wait. He started to pull a little on the lead. Maddie stopped him quickly because it jolted her sore ribs. Marvin didn’t pull again.

  Even though Aiden and herself had been up to very ‘active’ things this morning he had made sure that he never once hurt her. Aiden had made sure he never jolted her ribs or touched her face were the bruises were, or even made her do anything with her sore wrist that might make it hurt later. Even during the fun stuff Aiden had been looking after her. Making her feel like she was special.

  Yep, Aiden was something different. He was the special one.

  Maddie stopped at the stand and got Eddie’s coffee and her hot chocolate before walking to the pond. She found a bench, sat on it and unhooked Marvin so he could go and sniff things. If she didn’t know he would come back as soon as he was called, no matter what, there would be no way she would let him loose like this.

  As she took a sip she noticed Eddie coming across the grass to see them. In his hand he had long plastic stick like thing that had a cup in the end. In the cup was a yellow tennis ball. Maddie smiled because she had seen them before and had almost bought one several times.

  Marvin was in for a treat. The ducks would be safe today because Marvin would be having way more fun with something else.

  As Eddie got closer to her Marvin stopped sniffing and moved so that he was between Maddie and the newcomer.

  “It’s okay Marv, that’s just Eddie.” Maddie said in a reassuring tone to her dog. “He’s a friend.”

  Marvin looked at her before spinning his head back to look at Eddie who was very close to them now. Maddie stayed totally relax to show her dog she wasn’t worried by Eddie and neither should he be.

  “Aiden said he was pretty protective.” Eddie commented.

  At the sound of Aiden’s name Marvin’s ear twitched but when Eddie made to move closer he still growled. Maddie stayed sat on the bench and took another sip of her drink.

  “Sorry, he really is.” Maddie said, about to tell Eddie how to greet Marvin but Eddie beat her too it.

  The older man held his hand out, palm up and didn’t say anything while he waited for the white husky to decide whether he wanted to smell him or not. It only took a second for the dog to slowly start making his way to the welcoming hand being held out and give it a sniff.

  “Hey there boy.” Eddie mumbled to the dog. “You are a big boy aren’t you? Thank you for looking after Maddie for us.”

  Maddie frozen and started at the man and dog as Marvin moved his head into the hand giving the signal that Eddie could pet him.

  But it wasn’t the sight in front of her that made Maddie go still. No, it was the words that had been muttered to her dog. Eddie had thanked Marvin for looking after her. He was grateful to her dog for keeping her safe or doing the best that he could. Eddie cared. That wasn’t just passing concern he had been giving her on the phone. It was actually concern for her and her well-being.

  Maddie swallowed her emotions and took a sip of her hot chocolate. Now was not the moment to get all water eyed. She wanted Eddie to meet her for a hot chocolate again sometime not scare him off with ‘woman tears’.

  Standing, Eddie held up the plastic stick and said, “I hope you don’t mind but I bought him a ball launcher. Kind of a bribe to get him to like me.”

  Maddie laug
hed. “Yep, I think that will definitely work.”

  Marvin already had his head tilted looking at the ball launcher wondering what it was and if he could chew it.

  Patting the seat next to her Maddie held out Eddie’s coffee.

  “It’s safe for you to come and sit down now.” Maddie smiled.

  Eddie looked down at the husky as if he wasn’t totally sure but he slowly started to walk towards Maddie. Marvin did nothing but walk along next to him.

  Her dog was just keeping an eye on the newcomer and making sure that he didn’t miss whatever was going to happen with the ball launcher.

  Before he sat, Eddie took the ball out and let Marvin sniff it before putting it back in the launcher. Maddie smiled because she couldn’t wait to see the excitement on her dog’s face as he ran after it.

  “Please don’t through it too far. He is still recovering.” Maddie said quickly before it was too late.

  “Right.” Eddie said before lifting the launcher over his head and letting the ball fly.

  Just like Maddie thought he would be, Marvin was off like a shot. His head down and the ball in his sight. Eddie had done what Maddie asked and not thrown it too far. As soon as Marvin got it in his mouth then he ran back with his tail wagging and panting slightly.

  “I think you have made a friend for life.” Maddie said as Eddie took his coffee, sat down next to her and got the ball off of Marvin to throw again.

  Eddie looked at her and smiled. “That was the plan.”

  Again his passing remarks made her still. He wanted to be a friend for life with Marvin. That meant he would be in her life for quite a while at least.

  “Thanks for the coffee.” Eddie said carefully looking at the ground. “Although I think I should be buying you hot chocolates for life.”

  Maddie frowned at the older man. Not understanding why in the world he would think that. Unless he was blaming himself. Which, as Maddie thought about it now, he probably was.

  She waited till he had thrown the ball for Marvin again before she spoke.

  “You don’t have to buy me anything. You have nothing to make up for Eddie.”

  The older man looked up from his coffee to meet her eyes. Maddie could see that the break-in was weighing him down heavily. It was clear in his posture and the wrinkles round his eyes. The first time she had met him they were full of laughter but now they were full of shame.

  “Eddie you didn’t do anything. She did.” Maddie whispered gently.

  “Yeah, she did.” He agreed straight away. “But I raised her. I saw the bad in her but thought it would work itself out in time. Then when she did what she did to Aiden I’d had enough. But maybe if I didn’t say anything to her that night you were round, you wouldn’t have ended up in hospital.”

  Maddie watched again as Marvin came back and then ran after the ball again once Eddie had thrown it. She was not being quiet to leave him to stew in his feelings, she was being quiet so that she could find the right words to make sure she got through to him.

  Maddie hoped that Jessica realised the pain that she was putting everybody through.

  “You have to be open to help.” Maddie started. “I know this is going to be hard to understand, trust me I totally get that. Aiden had taught me that you have to be open to help because until you are nothing changes. I didn’t get that to start with and pushed him away.” Maddie paused and looked out across the pond. “I get it now though. I get it and I see the difference. Jessica wasn’t open to help. She did something awful to her own brother and still she didn’t want help. After what she did to me I think we can safely say Jessica is still not open to help.”

  Maddie reached out and took Eddie’s hand remembering that that’s what Fiona had done to her over their lunch together. At the time it had made Maddie feel better, she now hoped it helped Eddie a little. The older man looked at her with surprise in his eyes at the comforting gesture. She was shocked to see that he really didn’t think he deserved any kind of comfort from her.

  “Eddie you turned Aiden into a wonderful man, a good man. I know to do that you must be a good man. If Jessica doesn’t realise what she had when you welcomed her into your family then she is the one missing out.” Maddie squeezed his hand. “Fiona is a good woman. So to have two good parents and learn nothing from them is not your fault. You are not to blame.”

  Leaning forward so Eddie had no choice but to look her in the eyes she whispered.

  “I don’t blame you.”

  Eddie looked her back in the eyes, almost as if to check that she was telling the truth before he looked away, it was the second time he had looked at her like that. Like he was checking for something, Maddie hoped he found it this time.

  For a while they sat in silence as Eddie threw the ball for Marvin and they sipped their drinks. Then slowly the conversation started rolling again and Maddie found herself having a good time.

  She shivered in her seat and Eddie saw it. He was not going to let her sit there cold and declared that he thought both of them, woman and dog, had had enough for one day. He walked her back to her flat. As they got closer Maddie found herself getting nervous again. This was the first time she would be climbing up the steps to her flat alone after the burglary.

  Maddie didn’t like it at all. Marvin picked up on her tension and walked close to her legs. Every now and again he shoved his snout into her hand in a comforting gesture. Maddie loved her dog and his comforting, giving nature, but at that moment, it was having little effect at all.

  Her hands started shaking and she didn’t want to go up the stairs alone.

  Luckily, Eddie had taken one look at her face and the behaviour of her husky and knew something was wrong. He didn’t ask what, he didn’t give her a look that told her to grow up, what he did do was to take her hand and walk up the stairs with her. Once at the top he took the keys from her hands and unlocked the door and pulled her inside. Eddie then left her at the door as he walked round every room to doubly make sure that there was no one inside. When he came back to her and told her it was all clear Maddie just gave him a wobbly smile.

  “Totally a good man.” Maddie whispered but loud enough that he could hear her.

  Eddie just looked at her and gave her one nod that said ‘thanks’. He even offered to stay for another coffee but Maddie told him she was fine now and sent him on his way. Fiona would be home soon.

  After he left Maddie set Marvin free and watched him as he walked to his big red cushion under the window. He seemed to be moving a little slower but not in any pain. Maddie checked he had water before she made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the breakfast bar with a note pad.

  What breakfasts would she make Aiden, Maddie wondered. For what felt like the millionth time a smile broke out on her face. Somewhere along the line she had come to accept him always staying the night and had decided that that was going to carry on. Especially now with all the foolery stuff going on.

  Maddie loved the foolery stuff!

  Her phone rang in her pocket just as there was a knock on the door. Reaching for her phone she went to the door and looked through the peep hole wondering if Eddie had left something here or was coming back to check on her. It wasn’t Eddie.

  Opening the door, Maddie smiled at her neighbour and let her in.

  “Hey come on in.” Maddie said ushering her in. “I just need to take this quickly.”

  Looking down at her phone she saw it was Aiden and smiled even bigger.

  “Hey.” Maddie said almost shyly into the phone.

  “Hey babe.” He returned and Maddie’s cheeks went a little red. “I was just phoning to check that you didn’t overdo it on your walk.”

  He was checking up on her. Why didn’t that annoy her? Why instead did she actually find it quite sweet?

  “Aiden I’m fine.” She replied and looked to see where Sarah was.

  Sarah had walked into the kitchen and had started to make herself a cup of tea and was putting it down next to Maddie’s on the breakf
ast bar. She then walked round and perched her bum on a stool waiting for Maddie to finish her call. Sarah’s face was carefully blank which made Maddie a little wary.

  “Did you walk far?” Aiden asked.

  “I didn’t overdo it stop worrying.” Maddie said a little exasperated. “Marvin and I went to the pond. Eddie came and joined us and then he walked up both home again. End of. Marvin’s resting and I am about to have a drink with Sarah. Okay?”

  There was laugh on the other end of the line and Maddie knew that Aiden was finding her lack of patience funny. It was something that only Aiden would find funny after all.

  “Eddie came and met you?” He asked after he had calmed down.

  “Yeah, I called him. Well I was really looking for Fiona but I am pleased that I got Eddie after all.” Maddie said wondering how much she should share about their conversation.

  “I hope you were able to help him more than I have been.” Aiden remarked.

  He wasn’t annoyed that she had been trying to help what was basically his dad without speak to him first. Maddie was surprised. Charles would have gone mental at her.

  Shaking her head Maddie told herself that that was enough of comparing those two because they were totally different people.

  In every way actually.

  “I hope so.” Maddie whispered. “You should have told me he was feeling that way sooner.”

  “Why?” Aiden asked straight away.

  “Because maybe I could have tried to help sooner. Instead he has just been left for over a week feeling this way.” Maddie almost moaned. “I hate that thought.”

  There was a large pause on the other end of the line. Maddie almost thought they had been cut off before Aiden’s voice came through. It was said so softly that Maddie found herself grinning again.

  “That’s my Ruby, pouring her sweet all over the people she cares about.”

  This time the silence was on her end. It took her a good couple of seconds before she managed to shake herself out of her Aiden fog and say.

  “Aiden, Sarah is waiting on me.” Maddie whispered to the rough, tough but thoughtful and sweet man on the other end of the phone.