by Sadie Grubor
"I've been working with a few ideas but I don’t think I'm ready to share them yet."
"Come on." I pressured with a crooked smile.
"No, not yet." She shook her head.
Before I could press further, she sat up straighter and leaned back, pressing her left palm to her stomach.
"Are you alright?" Getting to my feet, I quickly moved next to her before she could answer.
She nodded before answering in a groan, "I’m fine. One of them has taken a liking to my rib cage."
I flinched a little at the thought and then I placed my hand on her stomach. "Wow, is that..?"
"Yep." She groaned, clearly still uncomfortable.
I could feel the hard lump under her skin and a chill rolled over my body at the thought of feeling that push into my rib cage.
"I need to get up." She said, pushing her chair back. I helped her stand.
Lilli stood and started walking around the patio.
"Ah, much better." She breathed deep and exhaled. With a slow turn, she caught me watching her. "Standing seems to make more room in there. The pressure on my rib decreases."
All I could do was nod.
She approached me, grabbing my hand. "I’m not done with you tonight."
If I thought my smile couldn’t have gotten any larger, I was wrong. My smile was from ear to ear and I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist, walking into the house with her.
She pulled me to the theater where we curled up on the couch and watched a movie together. About halfway through the movie, my favorite movie, I could tell by Lilli’s breathing against my chest that she was asleep. I finished watching the movie, holding her close to my side.
Once the movie was over, I hesitated on moving, fearing that I would wake her up. Deciding that I didn’t want her to sleep on this theater couch, I shifted. My plan was to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom, but it was spoiled when she woke up from my movement.
She yawned.
"I’m sorry." She pouted.
I lightly kissed her lips. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Thank you for tonight."
"You don’t have to thank me." She kissed me quickly before moving to stand. I helped her.
"Lilli?"
"Hmm?"
"I have something I need to discuss with you." My voice was shakier than I'd intended.
"About?"
"Come to my office with me, please?"
I took her hand in mine, waiting for her reply. She nodded. Keeping hold of her hand, we walked to my office. My briefcase and the large, mahogany box were sitting on my desk.
"What’s that?" She pointed to the box.
"Devlin came in this afternoon to go over some paperwork in regards to the inheritance. The box is part of some of the things my grandfather left for me."
"What’s the matter?" Her eyes shone with nervousness.
"Nothing's the matter. I got some information today and it…well, it concerns you." To ease the worried look on her face, I grabbed the legal documents and handed them to her. "Read these over."
She sat down and began reading. After ten minutes, which felt like hours, she looked up from the papers, her eyes wide.
"Aidan, I can’t…I mean…these need to be changed." She thrust the papers onto my desk.
"There is nothing I can do right now." I shrugged. "It’s not that big of a deal. I do need you to sign the papers though." Turning to the page requiring her signature, I pointed to the open document. "Sign here and here."
Shaking her head, she refused. "No."
With a sigh, I ran my hand through my hair. "Lilli, you have to or the document is invalid. You have to sign acceptance or—"
Fine." She slid the papers in front of her and held her hand out for a pen. Once I placed the pen in her hand, she signed, slapped the pen back onto the desk and stood before me. "Now, get new papers drawn up and take it all back." She said firmly and started for the door.
"Wait!" Placing my hand on her shoulder, I moved to block her exit. "There are other things...I want you to see them with me."
"You haven’t seen them yet?" Her brow wrinkled.
"No. I just found out about them today. There is a safe hidden in the bar." Taking a step away from her, I stretched my hand toward her, requesting that she to do this with me. "I know that it is late. But please, come with me?"
Lilli tangled her fingers with mine and we walked to the bar. Once behind the bar, I unlocked the cabinet and found the hidden black button. I pressed the button and heard a clicking sound coming from behind us. Turning around, I noticed the large painting next to the pool table slide into the ceiling.
"That was so James Bond." Lilli exclaimed with a laugh. I grinned.
The safe had an alphanumeric pad. As instructed, I typed in Isobel and hit the large red button. With a click, the door popped open. I peered inside, noticing a few black, fire-safe boxes. Pulling them out, I sat them on the pool table. There were five boxes varying in size.
We started with the largest. It contained a stack of letters, deeds, legal documents and an old photo album.
"Oh, wow." Lilli ran her fingers over the aged cover. "They don’t make them like this unless you go to a specialty shop."
She was right. It was brown canvas with leather binding. You could smell the age of it. I opened the album, revealing a picture of my great grandmother, Murron, my grandmother, Isobel, and my mother, Eliza, on the inside cover. Three separate pictures with their names, along with the day they wed each Aidan Iverson, written next to each picture, from my great grandfather to father.
Turning pages, we found baby pictures of my Grandfather leading up to my own baby pictures.
"Is that you?" Lilli slid on top of the pool table and leaned over my arm.
"Yeah, it is." Smiling, I turned the album over to her. "You should continue it."
She looked up at me with wide eyes and put her head back down to go through the pictures. For a moment, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She's just so beautiful.
Finally able to pull eyes off my wife, I moved on to the next box. This one was thicker than the others. When I opened it, I found it held multiple compartments. It took me a moment to figure out how to access each one. Once I did, I was a little taken back.
"I thought all the jewelry was in safety deposit boxes." I mumbled.
As I went through all of the jewelry, I remembered seeing some of this on my mother when I was younger.
"It was their jewelry." I whispered. A tear slip over my cheek as I lifted the gold necklace that had graced my mother’s long neck. Memories of watching her put the necklace on, or fingering the chain, flooded me.
Lilli’s placed her hand against my cheek, wiping away the tears and pulling me away from my thoughts. Her face was so full of compassion I couldn’t help but wrap my hand around the nape of her neck, pulling her into my arms. Our foreheads pressed together and she embraced me without hesitation, rubbing soothing circles against my back.
"My mother wore this frequently. I…I can remember it."
She hugged me tighter. Pulling back, I kissed her forehead and ran my fingers over her cheek. Her warm smile instantly brightened the sadness surrounding me.
Closing up a box which held about a half of a million dollars in jewelry, we moved on to the next. Inside were more photos, letters, notes, dried flowers and a silver brush and comb set. This had been my mother’s as well. Memories of sitting on her bed as she would brush her hair at her vanity flooded back to me. I clenched my hand around the small, silver hair combs as tears welled in my eyes again. Lilli move closer, sitting against my side and soothingly ran her hand over my shoulder.
"These were my mothers." I croaked, unable say anything else.
Lilli’s hand slid up the side of my head, pulling me to lean on her. Holding my head against her chest, she allowed me to sob over memories from so long ago.
Finally pulling myself together, I moved on to the next box. It was evident that these were Grandma Isobel�
��s things. There was a large, red leather book with her name in gold calligraphy across the front. Pulling it out, I leafed through the pages of what turned out to be her journal. Looking back into the box, there were a few more leather books. They were all journals. I put them aside for the moment and looked into the black box. Small tokens, lace gloves, a small, silk purse that held a lock of hair, a small photo frame of a couple, I assumed were Isobel’s parents, and then there were photos of two different babies. At first, I thought it was my father but realized the babies were in coffins. A chill ran through me.
Turning the photo over, I discovered two children my grandparents had lost. Both dated before the birth of my father. Grandma Isobel and Grandfather had lost two children. Once I processed the new information, I glanced at my wife’s swollen stomach.
Lilli looked up from the photos she was still perusing.
"Wh-what?"
Cutting her off with my lips, I put all of the emotions from tonight into worshiping her mouth. Deciding to forget the past for tonight, I picked Lilli up bridal style from the pool table.
"Aidan! Put me down!" She clung to me, fisting the material covering my chest. "I am too heavy for this."
Laughing loudly, I held her tighter. Even seven months pregnant, she wasn’t exactly heavy. Hell, she couldn’t have been more than a hundred and twenty pounds, at most, before she got pregnant and now, well, hell, she still barely weighed much. My laugh made her huff. Once we got to the bedroom, I laid her back onto the bed and curled up next to her.
"Are you okay?" She whispered.
"I’m more than okay." I kissed her lips and moved, hovering over her body. "You make me more than okay."
Brushing away a few strands of hair from her face, I moved my lips to the crook of her neck, tasting her skin.
Her pulse quickened under my lips.
"Aidan…" She panted.
Pulling my head back, I looked into her large, hazel eyes. She chewed on her bottom lip, remaining silent. Grabbing the sides of my face, she pulled my lips to hers. Her arms sliding around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her body.
Her lips parted and she darted her tongue out, licking my bottom lip. As I was about to open my mouth to her, she pulled away. Our foreheads pressed together, her eyes tightly shut, and she slowed her breathing. After a few moments, her eyes flashed open, looking directly into mine.
"I love you." She whispered.
Chapter Five
8 Months
Aidan
I laid awake in bed, watching her sleep. She said she loved me. Those three tiny, yet heartfelt, words pushed me over the edge. Any resistance I may have had tonight was blown. Gone. I made love to her slowly. Agonizingly slow. Every whimper and moan that escaped her lips served only as confirmation she was mine and she loved me.
It was extremely early. My mind kept racing. I was so wired and restless, consumed by my thoughts, that I decided to get up before I woke her up. Leaning down, I kissed her stomach and then her forehead before I left the room.
Arriving back in the bar, everything was still spread out on the pool table. I started to slowly put some of the things away. When I got to my grandmother’s journals, I decided to collect them up and head to the library. On my way to the library I passed Jay in the hallway.
"Good morning, sir." He nodded.
"Good morning, Jay." I smiled.
"Would you like me to get you anything?"
"Actually, could you get me some coffee? I’ll be in the library."
"Of course, sir." He nodded before setting to his task.
"Thank you." Saying the words over my shoulder, I continued toward the library.
Taking refuge in the large, oversized leather chair, I glanced through each journal and put them in chronological order. I opened the first leather bound book, smelling the years it held inside.
The journals started off with my grandmother discussing things women in her day were not allowed to discuss. She was appalled by the actions of her father toward her mother as well as her brother’s strictness with his new wife. She often heard him shouting at her for being careless and clumsy. She had intervened a few times, only to be met with the disapproving eyes of her mother as her father punished her.
Though her prior letters had confirmed that she was, indeed, being courted during the time she met my grandfather, the journal put a name to the man. Samuel Patrick McCloud. Apparently, she was deeply in love with him. There were pages and pages full of his gestures and declarations of love.
Then the story takes a different turn. Samuel became more pressing on the physical side of their relationship, though they were not yet married. Isobel stood her ground firmly but the fear of losing him, and the future she had planned with him, had won. Months had passed and the physical aspects of their relationship had grown. However, during this time, she caught the attention of Aidan Walsh Iverson, an up and coming businessman.
Isobel was intrigued by him but in love with Samuel. Grandfather was persistent. Enough so, that she began a secret friendship with him; keeping it friendly but still inappropriate for a woman at the time.
Toward the end of the first journal it seemed Samuel began to change, for the worse. Once he discussed marriage to Isobel with her father, he changed. He became like her father and brother. Her opinions and voice no longer mattered. He often threw in her questionable behavior. He even used her willingness to become physical so quickly against her. Questioning her innocence.
Jay arrived with fresh coffee. I was so enthralled in the journals, in my grandmother’s past, that I barely noticed his presence.
The second journal continued in the same tone. Samuel was becoming harsh and degrading. Isobel tried to stay strong and even stood up to him a few times. It was during one of those times that her life came crashing down around her.
During a discussion at a party, Isobel voiced her opinion. Samuel was appalled and dragged her away from the party. On the way home in the carriage, he stripped her of clothing, ignoring her cries to stop. He took her without one interruption from the driver.
‘He took everything. My innocence, my trust, my love…everything. It’s all gone.’
Her words caused me to pause for a moment, but I couldn't stop reading.
Samuel then ended the engagement by question of her virtue, going as far as to call in a doctor to examine her. Her mother and father were shamed, blaming her for her indiscretions without bothering to listen to what had actually happened. Months had passed and Isobel was pregnant with a bastard child. Her family threw her from their home, putting her into the home of her spinster aunt.
Shamed at the state she was in, she refused to write my grandfather or accept his letters. The refusals eventually brought him to her aunt’s doorstep one winter. She tried to politely dismiss him, and when that failed she flat out told him she was pregnant with a bastard child. My grandfather proposed on the spot.
Isobel refused the proposal and sent him on his way but my grandfather, being relentlessly persistent, would not go away. He sent her tokens and words of praise and love but they all fell on deaf ears. She had heard it all before.
Then came a day that changed everything. At barely four months pregnant, Isobel began to have complications. She became gravely ill and lost the baby. She was unconscious for over a week and woke to Aidan by her side.
Over time, Isobel had learned that her parents had done nothing when she fell ill. Aidan had been the one to ensure the doctors took care of her. Isobel was saddened by the loss of the child but woke with a new perspective. Aidan didn't run or leave her shamed. He fought for her well-being and accepted her at her worst. They married two months later.
The creak of the door pulled my attention from the journal in my lap. Lilli stood, cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt and a long robe, in the doorway.
"What are you doing?"
She waddled toward me.
"Reading my grandmother’s journals." I moved the journal off of my lap.
St
anding next to me, she picked up one of the journals.
"It’s quite the story." I spoke as I pulled her into my lap.
"Stop, I’ll crush your legs!"
"You're fine." I sat her down. "Oh God, my legs. They’re going numb!"
"Asshole." With a light slap to my chest, she started to move.
"Aw, come on, I was just kidding." I wrapped my arms around her, stopping her from getting up.
"Nope, you’re an asshole." She laughed and moved next to me in the oversized chair.
"But you love me." I raised an eyebrow in question.
"Maybe. I think I may be reconsidering." She playfully scowled.
"Oh, you know you do." Wrapping my arm around her, I situated her snugly at my side.
"So, what have you learned?" She looked up at me. The tilt of her head positioned her lips perfectly. I kissed her.
After pulling back, we talked about what I had read of my grandmother’s journals.
"Wow." She heavily sighed.
"I know." Closing my eyes, I laid my head back on the chair.
"Well, I guess we know the reason behind the foundation your grandmother started." She settled further into my side.
"Huh?" Picking my head back up, I looked at Lilli.
"Aidan, clearly the foundation is to support battered women and children, as well as those abandoned." She sat up straight, looking at me. "You didn’t make the connection?"
"Honestly, no, but now I do." I picked up the journal and continued to read. Lilli stayed by my side, reading the journals I had already finished.
There were letters speaking of love and devotion stuffed into the pages of the journal after my grandfather and Isobel married. He worshipped her.
The journal spoke of the two children born prior to my father. Both had died early on in their years due to illness. Isobel was very protective of my father after he was born and also became an advocate for children.
Lilli was right. The foundation is a reflection of my grandmother’s life, experience and heart.
It was in the last two journals that my grandmother discussed her illness. She hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else, adamant about living her life normally before she was unable to live at all. The last journal entry was to my father.
