by Sadie Grubor
My dearest Aidan,
My son, my heart, the love of my life. From the moment you were born until your first steps and words, you have been your father's and my greatest joy. I know you will continue to be your father’s joy. Please know that I love you so much and will miss you dearly.
Please keep an open heart and don’t turn your back on that one person who intrigues you. Your father was so intriguing from the moment I laid eyes on him, but life and stupidity stood in the way.
It wasn’t until after much heartache and heartbreak that your father was able to heal me and convince me that I could love. However, if I would have gone with my instinct, perhaps things would have been different.
Don’t let the world interfere. Look for her and you will find her.
Love always and forever,
Mother
I finally understood some of my grandfather’s rationalization behind the conditions and him pushing his son’s toward women. When life became overwhelming, he made sure they took time to stop and look.
Lilli shifted and move to the edge of the chair.
"Where are you going?" Putting the journal down, I helped her to stand.
"Food." She said quickly, "before I pass out."
"Sit down, I’ll go get—"
She shook her head.
"I am not waiting for you to go and bring it back. I’m starving right now." She laughed.
"I’ll come with you then." I wrapped my arm around her waist, guiding her from the room.
As we got close to the kitchen, Lilli moaned in delight. The smell of bacon was filtering in from the kitchen.
Rachel smiled brightly when we walked in.
"Good morning." Lilli said, zoning in on the food.
"Morning. Eat up!" She rubbed Lilli’s stomach.
"Oh, I plan on it." Lilli laughed.
I sat at the table next to Alex.
"What’s up?" He asked as I sat down.
"Me." I chuckled. He rolled his eyes at my bad joke.
"Lilli, you want some of my cereal?" Alex turned to Lilli, who was placing bacon into her mouth.
She nodded. "Let me grab a bowl."
"I can make eggs." Rachel offered.
"Make those, too!" Lilli grinned around a full mouth of food.
My chuckle got me a scowl from Lilli.
"Leave the fat girl alone."
"You’re pregnant, not fat."
"It’s all the same at this point." With a bowl in her hand, she sat at the table. Alex started pouring out some cereal for her. "Thanks, little man." Lilli pulled her bowl toward her and poured the milk.
"No problemo." Alex responded.
"Sir?" Jay spoke from the kitchen door. "Your car will be arriving shortly."
"Shit! Work." I'd gotten so lost in the journals this morning I hadn’t even thought about going to work.
"Ahhh…you said a bad word." Alex taunted. "Mom, get the soap." He giggled, Lilli joining him.
Ruffling his hair as I walked to Lilli, I kissed the top of her head.
"I’m going to go get dressed for work."
She nodded, chewing on her food.
It was the quickest I'd ever gotten dressed and I was only a few minutes behind schedule. Halfway to work, my phone rang.
"Good morning, Viola."
"Good morning, Aidan."
"To what do I owe the pleasure of speaking with you this morning?"
She laughed.
"I wanted to talk to you about Lilli’s baby shower. I’m planning it with Phoebe but need your help."
"What do you need?"
"I need you to do me a favor with the party planning company…" She hesitated.
"I’ll help, if you help me with something in return."
"What do you need help with? I’ll help you regardless, you know that." This is why Viola was so loved. She was always there to do anything for anyone.
"I want to do something for Lilli and I need your help. I would like it completed by the time of the shower."
"And what is it that needs to be completed?" She pushed.
"The nursery, I want an elaborate nursery set up for her and the babies."
"Oh, Aidan, that is so sweet. That only gives me two weeks! I will get right on it but, first, I need to know what you want." She paused. "Oh, and how are you going to keep it a secret from Lilli? She is in the house."
"I already have some ideas for the nursery and I will tell her that I am having construction done on the room and she needs to stay away from the paint and hazardous area. Plus, I'm counting on you to keep her out of the house during the day when they are working." Then I remembered she had called me for a reason. "What do I need to do with the party planning company?"
"Well, they are arguing that I will not be able to—"
"Give me twenty minutes to speak with Greg. You will be getting a call from them soon"
"Get them, Aidan." She laughed.
With a short goodbye, we hung up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lilli
Once Aidan was gone for the day, I decided to go to the pool. Feeling like a whale, I might as well get in the water.
In the water I felt weightless and loved it. Swimming also happened to be one of the most comfortable ways to exercise now. Knowing I had to meet with Viola today, I didn't stay in too long. Getting dressed was a bit more complicated. Maternity clothes were becoming the bane of my existence. I longed for the day I could slip into a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt again. Instead, I slipped on a dress and some flats before going downstairs.
When Viola arrived, Jay helped me into the car. He had become just about as protective as Aiden these past few weeks. Once he saw that I was tucked away into the back of Viola's car, Jay closed the door gently.
"Dear, we are going to have to start working from your house soon." She spoke as soon as the door was closed and smiled widely, rubbing my oversized stomach.
"Ugh, I really am about done with all of this pregnancy stuff." I huffed.
Viola laughed. "Well, can you at least hold off until we have your shower?"
I rolled my eyes and groaned.
"Now, now, I know you aren’t excited about all of the gifts but I promise we will try to make it as fun as possible."
"If you let me have Maggie and Phoebe as my official gift openers then I will plaster on my fake smile and be gracious." I winked.
"Done!" She giggled. "So, I have some news I wanted to talk with you about." Viola seemed nervous, which was very unlike her.
"Sure. What’s going on?"
She looked up and smiled.
"Liam and I discussed adopting last night."
"Really?" My voice rose with surprise and excitement. "Is it a child from one of our homes? Have you already decided on—?" Her small smile provided the ‘yes’ to my questions. "Who?"
"Well, I want to take Abby into our home."
My shock must have been easily read on my face since Viola felt the need to explain.
"Lilli, we want to take Abby in and help her with her baby. We would become the legal guardians until she's of age."
"Viola…" Tears began forming. Damn hormones. "That's so wonderful." Pulling her into my arms, I embraced her tightly.
"Well, we are only just discussing it and have yet to go through any other processes. Besides, I haven’t talked to Maggie or Abby yet. I want both of them to have their say in this." She took a deep breath and exhaled.
"We both know Maggie will be thrilled and supportive." I paused. "Abby, may need some time to think about it, but I’m sure she will realize the opportunity in front of her."
"You think?" Viola looked more nervous.
"Of course." I said firmly, shocking myself with how certain I sounded.
A week had passed before Viola and Liam had spoken with Maggie about Abby. As I predicted, Maggie was thrilled. She couldn’t wait to have a ‘sister’ and to be an ‘aunt’. Hell, Maggie was already planning the nursery between her and Abby’s room.
; Aidan was surprised by the news of Viola and Liam adopting a pregnant teenager but was supportive of their decision. Just as I knew he would be. Henry and Anne were, well, they were themselves, large plastered smiles with small remarks about a pregnant teenager. James and Elora, however, were excited for them.
Elora and Jimmy had come over to visit one afternoon when I wasn’t feeling up to leaving the house. Aidan had been doing work on the would-be nursery. We had decided to wait until after the babies were born before really putting one together. They would be in our room for the first few weeks after coming home, anyway. I didn’t want to spend my energy working on a nursery. However, Aidan wanted the room ‘baby proofed’ and secured before we did anything. The hammering and saws were really wearing on my nerves.
Elora and I headed to the furthest sitting room since it was the quietest room.
"How is he doing?" I asked Elora, who was relaxing in a chair. She looked tired.
"He is great. Except that he doesn’t sleep at night and it’s killing me." She sighed.
I looked at her with pity.
"Hire a nanny to help you. Seriously." She instructed with a laugh. "You will have two and it is exhausting with just one, I can’t imagine."
"We already talked about getting a person to help but I want to be the one who raises them. I want to be a mom, you know?" I ran my fingers over Jimmy’s little, soft cheek.
"Oh, I know. That’s what I said. We are currently interviewing help." She laughed. "James drives me crazy."
"The baby?" I asked. She usually called him Jimmy.
"No. James, the bigger baby." I laughed. "He frets over every little sound that Jimmy makes." She sighed heavily. "He tries to help with him but then gets all paranoid and wakes me up because he thinks he’s sick." She shook her head. "It’s crazy."
"Well, at least he’s taking an ‘active’ role." I tried to fight off the laughter that was bubbling up.
"Yeah. Active is a great choice of words. If he could breastfeed, he would do it. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s tried when I’m not around." She laughed out heartily and my laughter finally burst through. Apparently, my laughter startled Jimmy. He started crying.
"Ohhhh….I’m sorry." I cooed to him and rocked him.
"You’re definitely a natural at this." Elora observed.
I shrugged.
"I don’t know about that. I’ve never really been around babies, so I don’t know where it would come from."
Elora and Jimmy had been at the house for a couple of hours when James arrived.
"There’s my little man!” James walked over and picked Jimmy up from his state of sleeping in his carrier.
"James, he was asleep!" Elora scolded.
"Oh, he’s fine."
She shook her head and growled. He looked at her quickly.
"I’m doing it again, huh?" He asked and she nodded. "Sorry."
James cooed over Jimmy for about fifteen minutes before he finally went over to Elora and kissed her.
"Are you about ready? My parents want us to come over for dinner tonight."
Elora rolled her eyes. "Let me get packed up."
I fought a giggle.
"If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, send out a search party ‘cause I may be held captive at his parents. They always try to get us to stay over with the baby." She rolled her eyes again. "Like we don’t have a hard enough time getting him to sleep at home."
After saying goodbye to Elora and James, I headed toward the kitchen. I was almost to the doorway when I felt a sharp pain in my lower back.
"Shhit!" I screeched out.
"Lilli?" Rachel came from the stove and found me leaning against the wall. "Oh my god, are you okay?"
I panted.
"I don’t know." I was about to go on but the pain hit again. "OH, fuck!" I grabbed my stomach and slid to the floor.
"Jay!" Rachel ran from the doorway and returned with a phone.
Jay appeared and ran to my side, knees to the floor.
"Mrs. Iverson, are you okay?"
I shook my head.
"It hurts. Pains in my back and upper thighs." I croaked out and panted.
"The car is on the way up and the hospital is waiting." Rachel stated as she ran around yelling for Alex.
"I’ll call Mr. Iverson." Jay stood quickly and grabbed the phone. I couldn’t hear the conversation. I was too lost in the pains.
Rachel appeared with Alex.
"Lilli?" His little face was horror struck.
"It’s fine…little man… I got this." I forced a smile for his sake, panting through the pain. All I really wanted to do was shove my head through a wall.
Jay returned and scooped me into his arms. We all climbed into the car as the driver rushed us to the hospital.
Rachel was right when she said that they would be ready. There was a wheelchair, a gurney and three nurses standing by the door. They helped me into the chair and wheeled me to the maternity floor.
I had only been in bed for about five minutes when I heard running feet. The door made a thud sound as Aidan slammed into the door and moved to me quickly.
"Are you okay? What happened? Did you fall?" I put my hand up to stop his questions.
"I’m having pains." I said simply. The doctor appeared then with Dixon at his side.
I looked at Dixon through my panting.
"I called him." Aidan stated. "Just in case he could get here before me."
I smiled at Aidan and then panted through a pain.
The doctor performed his examination and then did some tests. I was moved into another room to do an amniocentesis before being returned back to my room.
I had spent the night at the hospital. The next morning I was greeted with a disheveled Aidan, who hadn’t left my side, Viola, Liam, Maggie, Phoebe, Celia, Oscar, Dixon and James and Elora. The room was packed full.
"Is everything okay?" Celia asked as she slid into bed next to me and wrapped her arms around me, her hand on my stomach.
I nodded.
"I started having strong contractions but they gave me some medicine to stop them."
"So, it’s still too early for them to deliver?" Dixon moved forward and grabbed my chart.
I nodded again.
"Yeah, the amnio revealed that their lungs aren’t fully developed yet."
He nodded in agreement. "Well, looks like you will have to stay off of your feet for a while."
I groaned. "I know."
"Aidan?" Liam addressed him.
"Yeah?" He forced a smile.
"Are you okay?"
I took a moment to examine him.
"You haven’t eaten. Go eat." I said and rubbed his arm.
"I’ll stay here." He said as he climbed into the bed on the other side of me.
"Aidan…" I warned, "Go eat."
He shook his head. "I’m fine. I’ll eat later."
"I’ll go grab him something." Celia stated, climbing out of the bed. Dixon followed behind her.
Phoebe took Celia’s space on the bed.
"Don’t ever do that to me again!" Phoebe scolded.
"I didn’t—"
"Not you!" Phoebe stopped me. "You two." She poked my stomach. "You stay in there and grow." She paused and leaned against my stomach, "you have to wait until I have your wardrobe perfect. It’s not ready yet."
We all laughed and I shook my head.
I had to spend one more night at the hospital before they released me.
Staying in bed, or on a couch, had become my standard day. Viola came over a few times a week to discuss the foundation since I was no longer allowed to travel.
Days passed and, before I even thought twice about it, the baby shower was upon me. Phoebe arrived on Friday afternoon to go over my wardrobe. She wanted the best outfit from a sitting position. I had stayed in bed for the past three days, only getting up to work out a leg cramp or to use the bathroom or shower. I was actually looking forward to being out of bed and having company.
; The Saturday before the shower came and I could hear the active workers downstairs putting the party together for tomorrow. Phoebe and Viola had decided that swans would be more fitting for the shower than ducks. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but come on…swans are kind of corny.
I was still lying in bed reading when Aidan slid in next to me. I kept my eyes on my book as I threaded my fingers into his wild hair.
"I love you." I heard him say. I kept reading, assuming that he was talking to my stomach again. Then I saw the tip of his finger as he pulled my book down. "I love you." He said directly to my eyes.
I smiled.
"I love you, too." He leaned up and kissed me. All of a sudden he seemed really excited. A huge grin split his face as his body resembled that of a kid in a candy store.
"Come with me." He stood and put his hands out. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Come on!" he urged with excitement.
"Where are we going?" I asked as I took his hand and got out of bed. "You never let me get up."
He laughed.
"It’s a surprise."
"Aidan…" I groaned.
"If you love me you will just go with this."
I scoffed at him.
"That is so not fair!"
He laughed.
"Come on!" He pulled my hand.
We walked out of our bedroom door, stopping at the first bedroom next to ours. I looked at him curiously.
"Close your eyes."
I closed them and heard the double doors open. I felt him move around me and into the room. "Okay, open."
I opened my eyes and gasped. The whole room had been decorated for the babies. "When…? How…?" Then it all dawned on me. I was an idiot. "How did I miss all of this stuff getting brought in?" I turned to him.
He was smiling so widely.
"Oh, just enjoy it. This is my gift for the babies. For you." He wrapped his arms around me.
I took a moment to take in the whole room. The ceilings and walls were painted light blue with clouds spanning across the surface, imitating the sky. The baby cribs were vintage, painted white. Keeping up with the theme, one was adorned with vintage blue blankets and the other with pink. Vintage white geese, humpty dumpty, rabbits, and all the small characters from the nursery rhymes were adorned throughout the room and stitched on the vintage quilts.
