How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend

by Monks of New Skete

  Developing a healthy relationship with your dog depends foremost on establishing a climate of mutual trust and respect. This begins at adoption and continues throughout your life with your dog. It presumes your willingness to understand a dog as a dog by being humble enough to learn how he is naturally. Crass anthropomorphizing, however well intentioned, makes unfair assumptions about the dog that hinder the relationship and ultimately his full potential.

  The Pack

  When we talk about "the pack" in this book, we usually mean the immediate members of the dog's social circle, both human and canine — in short, the dog's owner and those who live with the dog. Sometimes we refer to this group as the "family pack." As previously mentioned, all dogs — from the tiniest Maltese to the Great Dane — have the wolf as an ancestor, and wolves are pack animals. Through domestication, the dog has adapted to life with humans and has adopted us as his new pack. A dog perceives the people he lives with as fellow members of a pack. Once a dog owner understands this, he or she can utilize training methods that intentionally include the dog in the pack while intelligently and humanely lowering the dog in the pecking order.

  The Alpha

  Strictly speaking, within every wolf pack there is an alpha pair, the alpha male and the alpha female, who keep order within the male and female branches of the pack, respectively. Though the alpha male is likely to be the single most dominant member of the pack and the one most responsible for its leadership, alpha females have been known to lead packs and they also strongly influence pack activities. The alphas settle disputes between other wolves and may even run interference for younger members of the pack. Depending on the individual pack, the alpha male's role might be that of dictator or guide, or he might adopt either of those roles at different times. All subordinate wolves look to the appropriate alpha wolf for direction. Wolf packs are stable and successful to the extent that the hierarchies are clearly defined.

  Domestication of the dog has not nullified this instinct to lead or be led. This becomes a problem whenever an individual dog does not receive proper guidance, through training, and fancies himself to be the leader, or alpha. There should be no question in a dog's mind about who the alpha figure is in his life — you are, whether you are a single owner or a couple. The owner(s) must act as the leader(s) (if two people assume a role of leadership, they should also use the same approach to training). This is not crass domination of a subordinate creature but provides the dog with direction about his proper place and role in the pack.

  Eye Contact

  One way the alpha wolf communicates and keeps order within the pack is by making eye contact with the other members. A piercing glance can often stop a fight from developing and settle disagreements. A kindly glance can signify acceptance. We emphasize eye contact in

  Making eye contact and watching the trainer's face are critical to the training process.

  this book because we feel that it is an essential part of the way dog and owner should naturally relate. It can prevent behavioral problems and help stop them if they happen. Gentle looks (not threatening stares) serve to deepen the relationship, communicate acceptance, and establish trust. A hard, penetrating, and sustained look can help stop bad behavior dead in its tracks. It expresses dominance and helps elicit attention and respect. But before the dog can read your eyes, she must look up at you. The techniques in this book encourage the dog to look up, so that eye contact can be made for whatever reason.

  Training

  The concept of training as we define it in this book begins when the puppy is born. Training is not simply a set of exercises (heel-sit, sit-stay, down, down-stay, and so on) that a dog must learn when he has reached a certain age. Instead, we approach training holistically as an integrated process that spans the dog's whole lifetime and includes the many different facets of the canine-human relationship. Even though we always insist on the importance of the traditional exercises, we additionally treat many different types of activities as an intrinsic part of training. Training happens on many levels in a dog's life — not just in obedience school. J. Allen Boone puts it well in Kinship with All Life when he distinguishes a narrow definition of training from a holistic one:

  If you would understand this secret, you must first understand the distinction between training an animal and educating one. Trained animals are relatively easy to turn out. All that is required is a book of instructions, a certain amount of bluff and bluster, something to use for threatening and punishing purposes, and of course the animal. Educating an animal, on the other hand, demands keen intelligence, integrity, imagination, and the gentle touch, mentally, vocally, and physically.*

  5

  Selecting a Puppy or Older Dog

  What Breed?

  If you are considering buying a purebred, you probably already have specific breed preferences. As you get ready to look for a dog, you might review whether the particular breed you like is suitable to your environment and personality. The best way to find out is to talk to someone who has a dog of the breed you are considering. Almost every breed has a national breed club, and these organizations are happy to level with you about the attributes of their breeds. The American Kennel Club can provide you with a listing of national breed organizations.*Some popular books (Paws to Consider, by Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson, and The Right Dog for You, by Daniel Tortora, are good examples) provide detailed breed descriptions that can help guide you toward a realistic choice for your own unique circumstances.

  As for which breed is most trainable, we have our definite opinions, but really no pat answer is possible. In recent years there has been much discussion about the relative intelligence of dogs and inquiries into which breeds rank higher on the scale of canine intelligence.**Unfortunately, it is easy to take the hype surrounding such surveys simplistically, in a way that is misleading and elitist. Although some breeds seem to be more trainable than others and thus seem "more intelligent," this perception usually applies to formal obedience training and should not be generalized in an absolute manner. Breeds ranking low in obedience skills, thus earning them the reputation as being "stupid," may simply be more instinctively adapted to other functions and roles. For example, put a beagle in the context of a hunt and it no longer seems to be the stubborn, dim creature that was so difficult in obedience class.

  Furthermore, though most experienced trainers will concede that there are definite differences in the trainability and intelligence of various breeds, they also recognize that there are great differences and variations among individual dogs belonging to the same breed. The environment in which a dog is raised — plus the skill of the owner/ trainer — often has a profound effect (both positive and negative) on the overall intelligence of an individual dog. Over the years we have worked with many individual examples of breeds that have not ranked high in obedience training yet proved to be eminently trainable because their breeders and owners were extremely sensitive to issues of socialization and good handling. As one might expect, the reverse is also the case. Not every German shepherd is the Einstein that some "shepherd chauvinists" like to think. If truth be told, subtle or not-so-subtle prejudices emerge whenever the intelligence level of different breeds is discussed.

  To be useful as a category, canine intelligence needs to be nuanced. As Stanley Coren's work makes clear, the total measure of a dog's intelligence is composed of three different dimensions: adaptive intelligence, which refers to learning and problem-solving abilities in which dogs adapt to their environment; working and obedience intelligence, the capacity of dogs to respond appropriately to learned commands and to accomplish tasks in the real world; and instinctive intelligence, those aspects of a dog's mental makeup that are genetically passed on from generation to generation. Factor into this personality traits such as the desire or willingness to work with the owner, submissiveness, or high levels of dominance, and one realizes that it is difficult, if not impossible, to apply absolutes in determining the intelligence of various breeds. The b
est we can hope for are general guidelines to help keep our expectations realistic. Any opinions you may hear should be qualified with direct experience with that

  A dramatic example of canine growth. Before you bring your puppy home, make sure you know how big he will get to be.

  breed. Whereas some breeds may have a natural tendency to exhibit certain behavioral traits, the genetic makeup of the individual dog and the specific environment in which he lives will hide or amplify these traits.

  Male or Female?

  Just as the potential owner usually has definite breed preferences, he or she often leans toward one sex or the other, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes not. If it is difficult to express any absolute opinions about different breeds and their characteristics, it is harder still to make flat-out statements about male or female characteristics. Within every breed there are males and females who are docile and pliable, and others who are domineering and harder to control. Remember what we said about the alpha male and female. In many breeds, there is no appreciable difference between the protection potential of a male and that of a female; in others, the males are protective, but the females tend to wilt in the face of danger. Specialists in different breeds have more detailed information. In general, we counsel novice dog owners to start with a female. Females are usually more resilient, smaller than males, cleaner, and more easily trained at an earlier age. However, if the breeder honestly suggests an individual pup of one sex over the other and seems to have assessed your situation correctly, then it may be a good idea to take the advice. The breeder probably knows more about your chosen breed and this particular litter than you do and is interested in making a good match between you and your puppy. That said, no good breeder would place a puppy simply on the basis of sex. It depends very much on the individual animal.

  The prospect of spaying a female should not be a determining factor in which gender you select. For the vast majority of dog owners, neutering and spaying their pets, male and female alike, is highly recommended for both behavioral and medical reasons. Besides preventing unwanted pregnancies at a time when the pet population is skyrocketing to the detriment of our pets, spaying a female prevents the annoyance of regular heat cycles (twice a year for approximately three weeks at a time — plus the undesirable presence of many local male "suitors" at your doorstep), stops pyometra (a uterine infection), and reduces the risk of mammary cancer. Spaying can also have highly desirable behavioral side effects. The fabled weight gain of spayed bitches is due primarily to overeating and lack of exercise (and hence easily preventable), but many dog owners do report that their spayed bitch is mellower and more responsive and retains commands better.

  In males, the benefits of neutering are equally compelling. Medically, the neutered dog has no possibility of testicular cancer and a lower incidence rate of prostatic disease and cancerous anal growths. Behaviorally, since many undesirable behaviors in male dogs are sexually based, neutering tends to reduce aggression, roaming, marking objects with urine, and mounting other dogs and human legs, and generally makes the dog calmer and more trainable. Fears (usually on the part of men) that neutering will turn their dogs into wimps or that the dog will be depressed about its inability to have sex are purely anthropomorphic projections. There is nothing romantic involved in canine breeding: it is simply biology, triggered hormonally in the male only when a bitch (if there is one around) comes into estrus, or season. At other times, the male is completely uninterested. Furthermore, neutered males hardly turn into wallflowers. Though generally they tend to be calmer in domestic situations, they are as vigorous and athletic as their intact counterparts and can easily be taught acceptable forms of protectiveness. Throughout the years of our involvement with dogs, we have never seen neutering have a negative effect on a dog's behavior. Either the dog's behavior improved or it remained essentially the same. Considering the facts, the only reasonable excuse not to neuter or spay your pet is a serious intention to breed, and thus your criteria for getting a male or female should rest on other factors.

  Be realistic. For the vast majority of dog owners it is unwise to choose one sex over the other because of a desire to breed their first dog with a second dog later. Not only may these plans never materialize but most people have little idea of what is involved in breeding and raising puppies. To do it well is demanding and stressful, requiring large amounts of time, serious knowledge of breeds and bloodlines, and possibly high veterinary bills. Don't even think of getting into breeding as a profit-making venture. The money you are likely to spend breeding a litter of pups far exceeds what you'll make from selling the pups. Breeders do it for love of the breed, not money. Well-meaning parents who want to expose their children to the miracle of birth would do far better to rent or buy something like our video series, which includes a dramatic presentation of canine birth and early puppy development. Furthermore, we do not recommend breeding if your dog is not a registered, pedigreed purebred, certified free of genetic disorders such as hip or elbow dysplasia, and of sound temperament. By no means is it a sure bet that whatever puppy you select will turn out to be breedable, for a variety of reasons. Unless you are a knowledgeable, serious breeder, choose your puppy on the basis of his or her merits alone, not as part of a future breeding team.

  All dogs bond deeply with their owners, relating in physical, psychological, and emotional ways. The well-trained male displays qualities of dedication and devotion that have inspired awe in many a sensitive human being. Brother Thomas, who began our breeding and training programs at New Skete, once wrote, "We are to listen to a dog until we discover what is needed instead of imposing ourselves in the name of training." Dogs have much to relate to the owner who takes the time to listen.

  Nevertheless, people often express a personal preference in selecting male or female, which should be respected. Though there is always the exception to the rule, there are some very prominent characteristics in each sex of the species. As previously mentioned, females are usually smaller and easier to handle, are more affectionate, and train more quickly. On the whole, males tend to be more high-spirited and dominant, more in command of the situation. In spite of their size — from the smallest poodle to the majestic German shepherd — most can accommodate themselves to an apartment or country mansion.

  The following is an excerpt from a letter from a doctor and his family who had a New Skete male German shepherd named Azzo. The letter was written after the dog's death, but the essence and spirit of the male of the breed has been captured beautifully.

  His devotion was an example, and his restraint. He conversed continuously in silence and displayed a sense of humor and playfulness without which man would be unbearable. His imagination was a joy; his defense of "his" children was so ferocious that he turned robins and paper bags into dragons. Bees were monsters to be attacked, and he consumed more than were good for him. And never in his short life did he have any understanding of his size. His intelligence and selflessness and sensitivity were a challenge. He expected us to be wiser than he was and where reasoning was superior, we could be, but in all else he led us and made us better. His acceptance of our failures and weaknesses made us humble.

  Where to Get a Dog

  There are a number of good sources for obtaining a wonderful pet, each with some pros and cons. There are also several possible sources you should avoid.

  Reputable Breeder

  An excellent place to get a puppy or older dog is from a reputable breeder. Good breeders have a comprehensive understanding of the breeds they raise and often have committed many years to producing quality representatives in their puppies. They usually have at least one

  A loving mother. Try to see the sire and dam of the litter, if possible.

  of the parents on hand for the client to meet, and tend to be forthright in evaluating whether an individual pup (or for that matter, the breed itself) is suitable, since they have the best interests of the pups in mind. A bad match leaves everyone unhappy. When a good match seem
s probable, purchasing a pup from a breeder establishes a personal connection between client and breeder that becomes a valuable resource for information and advice in the future. However, not everyone who breeds merits the designation "reputable." It is wise to avoid backyard breeders whose interest in breeding is primarily either financial or sentimental and who have little interest in breed standards. Since you will be paying substantially more for a purebred dog than a randomly bred dog, the breeder should be responsible enough to make a guarantee of temperament and health as well as provide the appropriate health information, a detailed pedigree of at least three generations, and an AKC registration slip. The facilities should be clean, and the breeder should also be affiliated with a local or national club dedicated to understanding and improving the breed. To find a reputable breeder, the best place to start is the AKC website to conduct a Breeder Referral Search. You will be directed to the nearest parent club, which can direct you to reliable breeders in your state or region. Another possibility is to speak with your local veterinarian, who may be able to recommend good breeders whose integrity he or she can attest to.

  Adopting a Dog from the Animal Shelter

  An animal shelter is another good source for finding a dog, especially a mixed-breed dog. There are a number of reasons why dogs end up in animal shelters. Some (usually puppies) are there as the result of accidental (and unwanted) breeding; others, because of a family move, divorce, or illness. Still others arrive there because of owner ignorance about the time and commitment involved in caring for a dog. Once the novelty wears off, many owners take the easy way out and simply deposit their dogs in the local animal shelter. Many of these dogs, even if untrained, have the possibility of becoming wonderful pets when given the proper love and training. Shelter dogs are inexpensive and often quite trainable. Owners adopting them provide a humane alternative to the darker fate of euthanasia.