Unlocking the Tycoon's Heart

by Ella Hayes

  She was in the bigger of the two sitting rooms, arranging tulips in Direk’s fancy vase, her shirt sleeves rolled back, the white cotton skimming her smooth forearms as she worked. Her jeans were loose on her hips, turned up at the ankles, her bare feet sheathed in blue loafers. The air was fragrant with her perfume, or maybe that was the flowers. He leaned against the door frame, watching, but she must have sensed him because she looked up and cornered him with a smile. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think you’re amazing.’

  ‘I was talking about the tulips...’

  He walked towards her. ‘I think you’re amazing the way you can put tulips into a vase and transform a room. You’ve made it feel like a home.’

  ‘The way you did with your improvised romantic dining room!’

  He smiled and pulled her into his arms. ‘Move over Direk!’ He felt her hands sliding over his shoulders, warm fingers threading through the hair at his nape. He leaned in and kissed her, felt an instant thrill of desire. ‘Hello, by the way...and thank you for the flowers.’ He kissed her again, not wanting to stop. ‘I wasn’t expecting you till later.’

  ‘I know, but I need to talk to you about something.’ She took her hands from the back of his neck and eased herself out of his arms.

  For some reason his heart bumped. He dug his hands into the pockets of his chinos and rocked back on his heels. ‘Okay. What is it?’

  She carefully laced her fingers together then met his gaze. ‘I’ve got a job coming up; something that Lotte put me forward for.’

  ‘Right...’ The edginess in her eyes was making him nervous.

  ‘Lotte didn’t know, you see, because as I said before I haven’t really told her anything...’

  ‘About...?’ His heartbeat was rising, pulsing at the base of his throat.

  ‘About you... I mean, anything private about you...like how Madelon’s your sister and about how you were married... Divorced...’ Her tongue touched her bottom lip. ‘So it’s not her fault at all. She had no idea about Eline.’

  His mouth dried. ‘What’s Eline got to do with anything?’

  ‘It’s the job she’s committed me to. It’s a fashion event. Eline’s organising it.’ Her eyes were searching his, checking. ‘Lotte’s doing the photos and I’m writing pieces about the designers for the programme...’ Her voice trailed away.

  ‘I see.’ He swallowed hard, trying to see through the mist in his head. ‘So you’ll be talking to the designers...?’

  She nodded and gave a little shrug. ‘I’m not sure about the exact brief until I’ve had a proper chat with Eline.’

  His heart bumped again. ‘You’ll be talking to Eline?’

  ‘She called me an hour ago to arrange a meeting. I didn’t expect her to get in touch so soon...’ She scraped a strand of hair out of her eyes and folded her arms. ‘It’s why I came straight over, to tell you...’ Her tongue touched her lower lip again. ‘I’m going to Eline’s apartment at six on Friday. She said meeting anywhere public would be tricky...’

  Suddenly, the air was too thick to breathe. He turned away, squeezing his eyes shut, willing himself to stay calm, but there was something boiling up inside him, livid white noise dancing behind his eyelids. Eline was the enemy; she’d betrayed him, broken his heart, and now what? Mia was going to meet her. Work with her!

  ‘Are you all right?’ She was in front of him again, taking him apart with her eyes. ‘I know what you’re thinking...’

  No, she didn’t...because she didn’t know anything about Bram, about how cruel Eline had been. If she knew the pain Eline had caused him, she’d never have taken this job. He swallowed. ‘You have no idea.’

  Her eyes narrowed. ‘I do! You’re thinking that meeting Eline is an infringement of your privacy...’ She drew in a breath, put a hand on his arm. ‘But there’s nothing to worry about.’ She pressed her lips together. ‘It’s only a job, Theo. Like any other job. We won’t be touching on anything personal.’

  He stepped back and raked a hand through his hair. What she was saying made sense. She’d just be a writer talking to a model about a fashion event...there’d be no reason for Eline to talk about Bram or him. She’d signed the non-disclosure and in five years she hadn’t breached it. He drew a steadying breath, but in the next instant any iota of rational thought was swept away on a fresh wave of panic. He felt his guts writhing, tasted bile in the back of his throat. Something inside him was collapsing, curling into a ball, trying to shut out the torrent of desperation, the crushing sensation of powerlessness.

  Get a grip!

  Wide, worried eyes held his. For some reason Cleuso popped into his head, the kitten that no one else would have chosen... Mia was a beautiful soul. He couldn’t stop her meeting Eline but maybe he could appeal to her empathy, could make her reconsider. He stepped forward, taking her hands in his. ‘I’m not thinking that at all. This isn’t about privacy, or infringements...’ He swallowed hard. ‘Mia, this is someone who cheated on me, someone who caused me immeasurable pain. If I was standing here telling you that I was meeting Hal, doing business with Hal, how would you feel?’

  ‘That’s so unfair!’ She pulled her hands out of his, tears glistening at the edges of her eyes. ‘The difference is that I’ve told you everything about Hal. Everything! So, you’d know exactly what you were doing to me if you took up with him. But I don’t think you’ve told me the whole truth about what happened with Eline. You didn’t want to talk about it. You never want to talk about anything.’ She blinked, swiping at her eyes. ‘You haven’t trusted me. You won’t let me in. How do you think that makes me feel?’

  Hurt in her eyes and he was the cause of it. His heart was aching. Why couldn’t he make himself tell her the whole story? Why wouldn’t the words come? His palms were sweating. He couldn’t think for the buzzing in his head. It was all sliding away, draining him out. Everything. He swallowed hard, his voice cracking. ‘Isn’t it enough to know that she hurt me?’

  Her face softened for a moment, and then she drew an audible breath. ‘No—no, it isn’t.’ A sudden steeliness flashed in her eyes. ‘You see, aside from thinking you’d be mad for wanting to do business with Hal, I actually wouldn’t care because I have no stake in my past. But you do, don’t you?’

  He was losing her, he could see it in her eyes, and still the words she needed to hear wouldn’t rise on his tongue.

  She picked up her bag, and when she met his gaze again tears were winding down her cheeks. ‘I thought we had something, Theo, but I can’t be with someone who’s keeping things from me. I’ve done it before and I’m not doing it again. I deserve better.’ Her eyes held him as she walked backwards, step after step after step, until she was standing in the doorway.

  His heart was a hollow drum, beating fast then slowing as a strange calm claimed him. She was right. She deserved better—someone whole. Someone who could be everything she needed them to be. He wasn’t that person. She’d be better off without him. Suddenly he wanted her to go. He couldn’t stand the way she was looking at him, her eyes wide and wet, full of fading hope.

  ‘Goodbye, Theo.’ Her words were barely a whisper, then she disappeared through the door. He heard the key going down on the hall table, the door closing with a weighty clunk.

  * * *

  ‘You’re English!’ The driver was looking ahead, twisting slightly so that his voice would carry in her direction.

  ‘Yes.’ Mia didn’t want to talk. She rooted in her bag for her notebook and pen.

  ‘So what are you doing in Amsterdam?’

  ‘I’m a writer.’ She managed to catch his eye in the rear-view mirror. ‘I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind, but I need to do some work...’ She flipped open a page of the notebook as if she was about to start reading.

  He nodded, gave her a wink then settled forward, focusing on the traffic.

  Mia stared at the blank p
age. She hadn’t heard from Theo since she’d walked out of his house three days ago. Three days! She’d thought he’d come after her, call her at least, but he hadn’t. Showing him honesty had blown everything apart. Clearly, her judgement was shot where men were concerned. Hal had abused her trust and her love, and now the man she’d thought Theo was on the inside, that noble, kind, protective, ardent lover she’d fallen in love with, had proved himself unequal to the deeper intimacy she wanted.

  She lifted her eyes, watching the trams and the bicycles going by. How could it be over? That connection she’d felt from the very beginning, the tenderness she felt in him every time he held her, kissed her, made love to her—she hadn’t imagined it. So, if the unspoken love she’d seen in his eyes was genuine, why was he holding back? What was he scared of?

  She sighed heavily and doodled a box on the open page of her notebook. If only Lotte hadn’t set her up with this assignment, then she and Theo would still be together. She drew another box inside the first one, then another and another and another, then she sighed again. The problem wasn’t with Lotte or the assignment. Theo had allowed her to walk out of his house because of something inside himself. What had he said by the canal that morning—that she was able to ‘wear’ her pain? He’d said that he admired her for it; that he couldn’t do it.

  She closed the notebook softly. That smile...intent green eyes...the way he made her feel. When she was with him, everything felt right. She needed to tell him that, tell him that she was in love with him. He’d said to her once that she was the kind of person who shaped fate. Maybe it was time to put it to the test. He loved her, she could see it in his eyes, but he was boxed in somehow. If he couldn’t reach out to her, then she’d have to reach in. It might be a dark side street, but she’d braved dark side streets before and she’d survived. All she had to do was get through this meeting with his ex-wife, and then she was going to go to the canal house to tell him that she wasn’t giving up.

  * * *

  ‘I’m sorry it had to be a Friday evening. My schedule’s crazy; this was the only bit of free time I had this week.’

  Eline was gliding into the sitting room ahead of her, long-limbed in dark palazzo pants, abundant blonde hair tumbling down her back. Her silk wrap-blouse was tied tightly around her tiny waist—a waist that Theo’s arms had circled. It was hard to think about that, about the important place Eline had occupied in his life. Had this apartment been theirs? It was modern, streamlined, glamorous in an understated way—just as he’d described. She tried not to picture him lounging on the cream sofa.

  ‘It’s fine... I don’t mind.’ Finding something neutral to talk about—that would help take her mind off Theo. Her eyes slid over the shelves. ‘You’ve got a lot of elephants...’

  Eline turned around, smiling. ‘I’ve loved elephants ever since I went on a safari with my parents when I was sixteen. Three amazing weeks in Botswana! After that, I became a collector!’ She motioned to one of the cream sofas that dominated the sitting room. ‘Please, take a seat. Would you like a glass of wine, or mineral water?’

  Two bottles poked out of an ice bucket set on the large, low table between the sofas. There was a glass of wine already poured, moisture beading around its rim. It looked tempting but staying focused was essential.

  ‘I’ll have mineral water, please.’

  Eline poured a tall glass for her, then dropped onto the opposite sofa, crossing one leg over the other. ‘So, it’s lovely to meet you, finally! I love your writing, Mia, and your blog especially. That brilliant piece about what “self” is...! “Nobody sees anyone as he is. They see a whole—they see all sorts of things—they see themselves.”’

  She felt her heart shrivelling. She’d written that piece after Hal had revealed what he really was.

  She broke away from Eline’s clear blue gaze to retrieve her note pad and pen from her bag. ‘It’s not mine; it’s Virginia Woolf...from Jacob’s Room.’

  ‘Yes, of course... I saw the acknowledgement...but I like how you used the quote as a springboard for talking about what identity is; what it means.’

  She shrugged. ‘They’re just things I think about sometimes...but I’m glad you liked it.’

  ‘I did because, you know, I think about those things too.’ Eline sipped her wine, her hand circling in the air. ‘I often think about what I was... What I am now...’

  ‘Were you thinking of a bio for the front of the programme?’

  ‘No. When you’ve spent as much time as I have in the limelight, being adored for all the wrong reasons, you get rather tired of yourself. I’d rather focus on the designers.’

  A relief! She was undeniably curious about Eline’s past as far as it concerned Theo but talking about the designers and the event was something she could do with a clear conscience. It was what she’d told Theo she’d be doing. She smiled. ‘Okay.’ She pulled her notebook onto her lap and readied her pen. ‘So tell me about the designers.’

  ‘You know, I started out wanting to be a fashion buyer...’

  She pressed the tip of her pen hard into the pad. Not the designers, then. She lifted her eyes. ‘Oh?’

  Eline took a hearty sip from her glass. ‘I did a business degree then took a position with a fashion event company to get experience and to make contacts. I got spotted by an agency scout at one of our shows and, before I knew it, I was being signed by Models Ten. It was crazy. My then-husband and I were like, Can this be real?’

  Her heart tripped. She hadn’t expected Eline to mention Theo. She drew in a slow breath, trying to stop the colour rising into her cheeks. She had to look interested, but she didn’t want to provoke a further outpour by asking a question. She’d specifically told Theo that this would be just another job; that his privacy wouldn’t be infringed. She forced herself to smile. ‘Wow!’

  Eline sipped from her glass again, eyes sparkling. ‘Wow, wow, wow more like! It was so exciting, Mia! It all seemed so glamorous. The designers, the clothes, the catwalk—I loved it!’ Her eyes clouded suddenly. ‘But, you know, everything comes with a price tag.’

  To pick it up or let it lie... Her nerves were jangling. She slowly drew a circle on her note pad then met Eline’s gaze. ‘I suppose there must be down sides.’

  ‘And then some! Everybody wants you when you’re in the limelight. You get used to being the centre of attention. I’m afraid fame went to my head. I lost sight of...’ She smoothed a perfectly manicured hand over the leg of her trousers. ‘There were things that I didn’t handle well. Things I regret.’

  Mia didn’t want to delve into Eline’s past; it was too close to the bone. She picked up her glass, sipped slowly. There was no subtle way of shifting the conversation back to the designers. All she could do was try to defuse the bomb. She set her glass down. ‘Everyone has regrets.’

  ‘Yes, but some are harder to live with than others. Like when you know you hurt someone very badly...and you can’t take it back.’

  Mia moistened her lips slowly. Eline hadn’t mentioned his name, but she knew that this was about Theo. ‘Maybe we should talk about the designers...?’

  ‘We’ll get to the designers, but I want you to understand how I came to be organising this event. My disillusionment with the fashion industry and all the things I regret have played a part.’ Eline’s perfect mouth hardened for a moment. ‘Nothing of this must go into what you write, but it’s context, and...’ her lips softened into a wistful smile ‘...it’s good to talk, right?’

  Mia nodded, heart pounding. If Eline knew about her and Theo, she wouldn’t be talking like this, but she couldn’t close her ears, or just up and leave. She was trapped and...was it wrong to be a little bit curious?

  Eline topped up her wine glass and took a long, slow sip. ‘My husband was a wonderful man. Handsome, kind...noble.’ It was unsettling to hear Eline using the same descriptors Mia used in her own mind when she thought about Theo. �
�He’d had a poor start in life—a violent, alcoholic father—massive insecurity. He rejected everything about his childhood. He was very driven. He craved financial security, built a very successful business on the back of his disadvantages. We married fresh out of university because he wanted... I don’t know...to feel safe.’

  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, sipped from her glass again. ‘Because of his father, he would never touch alcohol, but his brother did; too much and too often. Around the time I started modelling, he realised that his brother was becoming dependent. He wouldn’t hear of rehab. Instead, he bought a house on one of the northern islands. He took his brother there, spent weeks at a time trying to straighten him out. He never gave up trying, even though his brother kept falling off the wagon.’

  She lowered her eyes and fingered the stem of her glass. ‘I got impatient. I wanted my husband’s undivided attention. I wanted him to come to my fashion shows, and to the parties, but his brother always came first. It seemed that everyone loved me, except him. I was jealous and then I grew bitter. I had an affair—to get back at him, I suppose—and I said things...cruel, hurtful things...that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.’

  Bram, the chef—an alcoholic! The strange glitch she’d felt that night in the kitchen with Madelon and Theo...the way the atmosphere had changed when she’d asked Madelon about her other brother. The beach house on Texel... He’d bought it for Bram, had looked after him personally for weeks at a time. Such devotion. Rehab would have been the obvious solution, but he’d chosen his brother over his wife, and she’d lashed out, hurt him badly when he’d only been trying to do the right thing. And now Bram was the secret he couldn’t bring himself to share...

  ‘I see why you write so well, Mia.’

  Blue eyes came into focus. ‘Excuse me...?’

  ‘You’re crying. You feel things deeply. It’s why your writing is so...absorbing.’