Brow of the Gallowgate

by Doris Davidson

  Feeling like an outsider, she wandered desolately over to the window, and stood for some time watching the carts going up the steep hill from the harbour.

  She jumped when Nell touched her shoulder.

  ‘Bathie, I ken how you must feel, for I felt the same wi’ Wattie’s folk when I met them first, but never mind the rest o’ them. You were closer to him than Walter an’ Jimmy ever were, or their useless wives. Wattie thought the world o’ you, lass.’

  It was too much for Bathie and she buried her head in the other woman’s shoulder. ‘I loved him,’ she whispered. ‘And you, too. I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry.’

  ‘Aye, I ken.’ Nell patted her back. ‘But we havena lost him, for he’ll aye be in oor he’rts.’

  She regarded Bathie for a moment, then added, ‘An’ there’s nae need for you to feel sorry for me, my dear, for I’ve got Albert an’ you, an’ my grandchildren, an’ a’ my friends roon aboot me, so I’ll never be lonely. What’s mair, I’ve got happy memories to dwell on if I feel doon. Come on, noo, lass, an’ let folk see you’re made o’ stronger stuff than they think.’ Bathie swallowed and tried to pull herself together, for Wattie’s sake. He wouldn’t like her to make a fool of herself, so she followed Nell across the room, and listened to murmurs of sympathy until everyone had gone except the family.

  It was only then that her mother-in-law sat down by the fire. ‘There’s nothin’ to divide oot,’ she told her three sons, ‘for we just made sure we had enough to see us buried decent. That’s your father laid to rest, an’ there’s as much as see me laid beside him. We didna ha’e muckle, but we never owed a bawbee to a soul.’

  Walter, the eldest, looked at her hopefully. ‘You’ll be giving up the house and selling your furniture, though, won’t you, Mother?’

  ‘It’s my hame, an’ I’ll bide here till I go to join your father.’ Nell was indignant.

  Jimmy took over. ‘We’ll be going back tomorrow, but Albert and . . . his wife will make sure you’re all right.’

  ‘I can see to mysel’,’ his mother snapped.

  ‘As long as you understand that me and Walter won’t be able to come up again for a long time, and we’ve no room for you in any of our houses.’

  ‘I understand perfectly.’ Nell glared at him. ‘I ken where I’m nae wanted.’

  ‘Oh, Mother, it’s not like . . .’ Walter was blustering now.

  ‘An’ I ken where I dinna want to go,’ she interrupted. ‘I’ve to make a new life for mysel’ now, on my ain.’

  Albert stood up, uncertainly. He was very angry with his brothers, but wanted to avoid a scene. ‘Well, Bathie, we’d better be off.’

  ‘I’ll come to see you tomorrow afternoon,’ Bathie said quietly to her mother-in-law. ‘Just for a little while.’

  ‘I’ll be pleased to see you, but dinna feel obliged . . .’

  ‘I want to.’ Bathie turned to her other in-laws. ‘Well, goodbye. It was nice meeting you.’

  None of them stood up or offered to shake hands, so she followed her husband outside.

  Taking her arm, he said, ‘They’re not worth bothering about, my love, and they’ll be away tomorrow, so things’ll be the same as they were before.’

  No, Bathie thought, sadly, things would never be the same as they were before. There would be no Wattie Ogilvie to cheer them up with his droll sayings.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Nell had known as soon as Bathie herself, if not sooner, that she was pregnant again, and had been furious at Albert.

  ‘He’s ower hot-blooded,’ she’d declared, ‘but he should ken better by this time, surely. Seven bairns is mair than enough for ony woman, an’ you’re nae as strong as some. You’ll ha’e to say no to him, after this ane’s born.’

  Bathie knew that she could never refuse her husband, and she couldn’t tell his mother that this one had been conceived on the day his father died, so she just gave a little smile.

  Henrietta Johnstone took much longer to recognize what her daughter was trying to conceal. ‘You are very pale,’ she said, when she was paying a call one afternoon. ‘Your face actually looks kind of pinched, almost as if . . . Oh, Bathia, it is not another child, is it?’ Her nostrils flared in disgust and her thin lips compressed even more tightly.

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid so.’ Bathie waited, apprehensively.

  ‘I would never have thought that Albert could be so . . . inconsiderate,’ Henrietta stormed. ‘Really! He should try to control himself, or better still, he should learn to leave you alone, and not expect you to . . .’ She paused, then carried on. ‘You were quite ill when Ishbel was born, and if I remember correctly, you told me he had promised not to . . .’

  ‘He did promise, but . . .’ Bathie lifted her shoulders briefly. What was the use of trying to explain? It made no difference how it had happened. It had happened and nothing could be done about it now.

  ‘Your father must speak to him.’

  ‘No, Mother, please. It’ll only make things worse.’

  ‘He must be told to control his . . . lust.’

  ‘I don’t want anybody to interfere. I knew you’d be upset about it, but it’s my life, and I’m not complaining.’

  ‘It is absolutely shameful.’ Henrietta shook her head as if that would dispose of the new life in her daughter’s womb.

  It was some time before Albert himself noticed. ‘Have you put on weight?’ he asked her one morning as he lay in bed and watched her dressing. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were . . .’ He frowned. ‘How far on are you?’

  ‘Seven months.’ Her eyes were apologetic. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s me should be sorry.’ His hand rose to his brow. ‘It was the day my father died, for I’ve never . . . Oh, Bathie, I can’t. . . touch you without. . . I can’t pull out of you, I just can’t, and I promised you. Oh, my God!’ He raised his eyes. ‘Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out?’

  ‘It wouldn’t have made any difference, would it? I knew you’d be angry at yourself.’ Her mouth twisted. ‘I don’t mind, Albert, and you’ll maybe get your third son, after all.’

  Jumping abruptly out of bed, he kissed her tenderly. ‘My father was right. He once said you were too good for me.’ His voice had a catch in it as he went on. ‘I’ve made a machine out of you, a machine for producing the bairns I can’t help making, and you’re not fit to have any more. Oh, Bathie, why didn’t you stop me?’

  ‘Albert, I love you.’ It was all she could say.

  After suppertime that night, he waited until the younger children were in bed, then gathered Charlie, Vena, Donnie and Ellie together in the parlour. ‘Your mother is going to have another child. She was scared to tell me before, for I’d sworn to her there would be no more, but it’s my fault. I can’t stop myself.’

  He looked round their astonished faces. ‘You’re all old enough to understand what I mean, but now it’s happened, I want you to make sure she doesn’t do too much.’

  ‘Oh, Albert.’ Bathie was horrified at what he’d admitted to them, and glanced at her daughter-in-law to see how she was taking it. Vena, however, wasn’t smiling, as she’d feared, but was regarding Albert as if she were seeing him properly for the first time.

  Charlie was the first to speak after the shocked silence.

  ‘You can depend on us, Father. Can’t he, Vena?’

  ‘We won’t let her lift a finger.’

  Although Ellie hadn’t understood everything her father had said, she chimed in, ‘And Donnie and me’ll be the same.’

  ‘Donnie and I,’ Albert corrected, without thinking.

  Ellie grinned wickedly. ‘You, too, Father.’ She was just teasing, of course, because she knew what he’d meant this time.

  The following afternoon, Albert, having decided that he’d better get it over quickly, went to Froghall to tell the doctor that there would be another confinement to attend.

  ‘I got the shock of my life,’ he burst out when he got home. ‘Gavin ran
ted and raved like a bloody madman. He even accused me of having no consideration for you, and then said he wished he could castrate me.’

  Albert wouldn’t have taken kindly to that, Bathie thought, and prayed that he hadn’t said something he’d regret.

  ‘I nearly told him to go to hell, but he’s a good doctor and we’re going to need him.’ Albert thoughtfully stroked the cleft in his chin. ‘It wasn’t like Gavin, though.’

  ‘He knew how ill I was last time.’

  Grimacing, Albert muttered, ‘Aye, that’s true.’

  Bathie couldn’t help feeling guilty. On the night that Gavin had told her of his love, she’d lain awake imagining him taking her in his arms and kissing her, but that was when she was still weak from having Ishbel, and she had never allowed herself to think anything like that again. Nevertheless, she was very relieved that Albert had let the matter drop.

  When Bathie’s labour started, one Saturday morning, Vena noticed immediately, and ordered her straight back to bed, then despatched Ellie to fetch the doctor.

  Two hours later, Bathie didn’t care whether she lived or died. In fact, she’d have been quite happy to die, to drift peacefully away from the excruciating pains which were ripping through her, leaving her ashen-faced and gasping for breath. They were even worse than last time.

  Gavin McKenzie had been at another confinement, so was late in coming, but he saw at once that his warnings to Albert had not been exaggerated. This dear woman’s life was hanging in the balance.

  Ellie was ordered to keep Albert out, should he come up from the shop, and to keep the rest of the family well away from the bedroom on the first floor. In tears, she passed his message on to her father at dinnertime, then carried the two kettles through to the bedroom.

  ‘He can’t keep me away from my wife,’ Albert shouted, and marched to the door after her, but Charlie grabbed his sleeve. ‘No, Father. I know how you feel, but you must let the man do his job without any interference.’

  ‘Your mother needs me,’ Albert roared, beside himself with fury at Gavin McKenzie and with deep fear for his wife, and it took the combined efforts of both his sons to keep him from bursting into the other room.

  ‘I have to go to her. She might die and I . . .’

  ‘You should have thought of that before.’ Charlie’s eyes were hard with scorn. ‘God Almighty, Father, you’ve been married to her for nearly twenty years, and she’s given you seven living children already. Surely you could have learned to control yourself by this time?’ He jumped back as Albert’s open hand hit the side of his face.

  ‘The same as you control yourself? Or are you not man enough to father a bairn? You haven’t had one of your own.’

  ‘Father!’ It came like the crack of a whip from Donnie. ‘You’ve gone too far, and it’s Mother you should be thinking about, not standing fighting like . . .’

  An unearthly scream startled them, and Albert collapsed into a chair, shaking all over. Scream after scream followed with terrifying regularity, until the three men thought they could bear it no longer. It was like nothing any of them had ever heard in their whole lives before.

  When at last the chilling, blood-curdling noise stopped, they looked at each other in alarm in the eerie silence which fell, then Charlie laid his hand over one of his father’s and Donnie covered the other.

  Albert’s spine seemed to give way, and he slumped back in the chair, his chin resting on his chest. ‘Bathie . . . Bathie,’ he moaned. ‘You can’t leave me, for it would be the finish of me.’ Conscious of the pressure on his hands, he was beyond comfort.

  ‘Father.’ Charlie spoke gently. ‘If it’s God’s will . . .’

  Albert lifted his tortured face. ‘It can’t be God’s will. I swear to Him, in front of my sons, that I’ll never touch her again if He spares her.’

  They all looked up apprehensively when the door from the landing opened, but it was only Flo who came in.

  ‘What’s happened? We heard . . . ? Mother’s not. . . ?’

  Donnie scowled and waved his free hand to make her leave, but she advanced into the kitchen.

  ‘Ellie made us take our dinner upstairs, but there was that awful screaming and I had to find out what it was.’

  ‘Mother’s having the baby,’ Donnie told her. ‘Go back, and keep the others up there, please.’

  ‘But . . .’

  ‘Flo.’ Albert’s voice broke. ‘Just do what you’re told.’

  When Ellie returned with the empty kettles, three heads jerked up, three pairs of eyes asked the same silent question.

  ‘Mother’s having a terrible time,’ she whispered, quite unnecessarily. ‘She’s unconscious just now, but the doctor’s struggling to pull her through.’ Going over to the sink, she turned on the water tap to fill the two kettles again.

  Albert’s face had turned as white as the cloth on the table. ‘Oh, my God!’ he muttered, looking at Charlie, but the red weal across his son’s face reminded him of how he’d struck out, and he felt sickened by his own behaviour.

  ‘I’m sorry, Charlie.’ It came out as a faint whisper. ‘I’d no right to hit you.’

  ‘You’d every right. I was wrong in saying what I did, but we shouldn’t have been fighting at a time like this.’

  Ellie, having filled the kettles and placed them on the hob, swept past them carrying two steaming pots.

  Charlie watched her going out, then said, in a low voice, ‘We’d better go and open the shop, Donnie. Father can stay up here if he wants to.’

  ‘I have to stay,’ Albert muttered.

  When his sons went out, he buried his head in his hands, and prayed that God wouldn’t take his wife from him. All afternoon he sat, desperately wishing that he knew what was going on behind the bedroom door, but each time Ellie came through, she just said, ‘She’s still the same.’

  His sons had come up for their supper before Ellie came through with her face wreathed in smiles. ‘She’s come round, Father, and the doctor says she’s going to be all right.’

  Albert’s head had lifted fearfully at her entrance, and he breathed, ‘Thank you, God.’

  ‘And you’ve got another son, at last.’ Ellie’s laugh had a slight tremor in it. ‘Vena got the baby breathing the time the doctor was working on Mother.’

  ‘Good old Vena.’ Donnie exuberantly slapped his brother on the back, and Charlie grinned proudly.

  Albert regarded his eldest son earnestly. ‘It’s a good thing for us you were determined to take that girl for your wife, Charlie. Your mother and I weren’t at all happy about it at the time, but she’s been a godsend, more than once.’

  ‘Mother wants to see you, Father,’ Ellie remarked, ‘and the doctor says you can go through, but just for a minute.’

  He was on his feet at once. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  Although only Vena and Gavin McKenzie were there with Bathie, it seemed to Albert that the room was full of people. He crossed quickly to the bed. ‘Oh, Bathie, my love, my dear, dear love.’ He took her hand and lifted it to his lips, afraid to kiss her properly. There was a translucence about her face that alarmed him, and he glanced at the doctor.

  ‘She’s very weak, and it’s going to take her a long time to get over this.’ Gavin looked exhausted. ‘We’ve all had a long struggle, but I’ll leave your wife and child in this young lady’s capable hands.’ His eyes rested briefly on Vena, who coloured and looked away in confusion.

  ‘I’ll see you out, Gavin.’ Albert led the way.

  At the top of the outside stairs, the doctor breathed air deep into his lungs before he spoke. ‘I’m sorry if I sound brutal, Albert, but if Bathie has another pregnancy, it’ll kill her. This one almost did.’

  ‘Gavin, I’ve sworn to my Maker I’ll never touch her again.’

  ‘It’s the only way, Albert, I’m afraid, and I’m sorry.’

  ‘You’ve nothing to be sorry for. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d have lost her today.’ He clasped the other man’s hand. ‘
Thank you, Gavin, for everything.’

  ‘There’s one other thing, Albert. The child is alive, but I don’t know for how much longer.’

  In spite of Albert’s gasp of dismay, he carried on. ‘I want you to prepare Bathie, but try not to upset her too much.’

  ‘I’ll do my best. I don’t care for myself, as long as I’ve still got my wife, but . . . Oh, my God! Poor Bathie.’

  ‘It’s only a matter of weeks, maybe just days, but it’s inevitable.’ The doctor went slowly down the iron stairs.

  The tears were running down Albert’s face now, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. He wasn’t crying for the doomed infant, but for the heartache it would cause Bathie, when she’d come through so much to give him birth.

  After almost five minutes, he drew a shuddering breath, ran his cuff over his face and turned to go inside.

  Vena met him at the bedroom door. ‘She’s sleeping now, Father.’

  ‘I’m going to sit with her all night. It’s the only thing I can do to make up for . . .’

  ‘Did the doctor say anything about the baby?’

  ‘He said it wouldn’t live long.’

  ‘I was feared for that.’ She shook her head mournfully.

  Not by one word or gesture did Gavin do anything out of place, and Bathie looked forward to his visits. It wasn’t until he told her that he wouldn’t call again that she realized how far her gratitude to him had gone. Not gratitude any longer, but deep and lasting affection. It had been his tender care that had helped her to bear the death of little James, just ten days after he was born, although Albert had done his best.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask the doctor not to stop visiting, but she managed to bite the words back.

  At suppertime, Albert said, ‘Gavin came into the shop to tell me he wouldn’t be back, but we owe him such a lot, I asked him to come to supper on Sunday. I hope you don’t mind.’