Brow of the Gallowgate

by Doris Davidson

  Bathie smiled as she laid the letter down. She had no time to waste today. Her visitors would be arriving about half past twelve, so everything would have to be ready in good time.

  She started to watch for them at twenty past, and when the car drew up outside at quarter to one, she ran down to meet them, so excited that she kissed them all, even Gavin.

  In the parlour, she had only time to ask how Ellie was keeping and how Kathleen was liking her school, when Albert and Gracie came up from the shop, so there were more rapturous greetings. Then Ishbel called them through to the dining room.

  Seeing seven people sitting down for the meal, instead of four as there had been for the past few months, made a warm glow start deep inside Bathie, and she sighed with pleasure as Gavin answered Albert’s questions, Ellie laughed with Gracie, and Ishbel and Kathleen chattered together.

  It wasn’t until the second course that any mention was made of the three expected babies.

  ‘I can’t get over the coincidence,’ Ellie smiled. ‘First Flo, then me, then Vena, it’s unbelievable.’

  ‘Aye,’ remarked Albert, dryly. ‘The stork’ll have to put his skates on, to get from New Zealand to Edinburgh and back to New Zealand again within a month.’

  This made them all double up with mirth, and Gavin waited for them to quieten down before he said, ‘It was the happiest day of my life when Ellie told me, though I suppose I’m a bit old to be a father for the first time.’

  Albert smiled. ‘A man’s never too old to be a father.’

  His fleeting expression of sadness made Bathie sure that he was disappointed at not having had more children. She was feeling so well, now, surely there was no reason for her not to have another one? It was thirteen years since little James had died, so her reproductive system must be recovered by this time, and she was only forty-eight. She’d heard about women having babies right into their fifties, so it wasn’t impossible. She’d ask Gavin’s advice when she got the chance – he was a doctor, after all.

  It was two days before she had the opportunity to talk to him on his own. Ellie had taken Kathleen out to buy some new clothes for going back to school, so Bathie told Gavin to sit down, laughing at his rather wary eyes. ‘It’s nothing I shouldn’t be saying. I only want to know if it would be safe for me to have another child.’

  This was the last thing he’d been expecting, and he looked horrified. ‘You must be mad. How can you think of having more when you almost died with the last one?’

  ‘It surely wouldn’t affect me the same, not after all this time?’ The hope she felt was shining from her eyes.

  He stroked his chin thoughtfully. ‘I don’t know, Bathie. If you’re willing to take the risk . . . but, you’re forty-eight, so you probably wouldn’t conceive, anyway. Have you . . . ?’

  He was so embarrassed that she leaned forward. ‘Have we tried, is that what you mean? The answer’s no. Albert and I haven’t . . . been intimate for a few years now.’

  He looked away. ‘That wasn’t what I was going to ask. Are you still . . . menstruating regularly? Forgive me, but I have to ask that. If you are, there is a very faint chance that you may conceive, but if you’ve stopped, there’s no chance at all.’

  ‘I haven’t stopped,’ she murmured, hope rising again. ‘I’m irregular, but I still . . .’

  ‘But maybe . . .’ He groaned. ‘Oh, Bathie, I can’t discuss this with you any longer. I’m not your doctor now. You’re my mother-in-law, and it doesn’t seem proper.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Gavin. I put you in a terrible position, and I’m a stupid old fool, being broody because of all the babies that are on the way.’

  ‘You’re not stupid, and you’re not old,’ he said, so quietly that she had to strain to hear. ‘You’re one of those fortunate women who keep their youthful looks till they’re . . .’

  ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ A change of subject seemed called for. That night, she astonished her husband by telling him, as soon as they were in bed, ‘Gavin says it might be all right if I had another child, Albert.’

  ‘Gavin says?’ His dark eyes narrowed. ‘Don’t tell me you discussed a thing like that with Gavin McKenzie?’

  Angry at herself for her insensitivity, she went on, hastily.

  ‘I didn’t think of him as a man, I thought of him as a doctor. I want to give you another son before I’m too old.’

  She waited, wondering if she’d reawakened his jealousy of Gavin, then stretched out and ran her fingers over his cheek.

  ‘I love you, Albert, dear, can’t you . . . ?’ His shrug of irritation made her drop her hand in dismay.

  Closing her eyes wearily, quite sure she that she wouldn’t sleep, she heaved a loud sigh. Maybe she was mad, like Gavin had said. Maybe she was just being broody because Flo and Ellie and Vena were expecting. Maybe she was too old to produce any more children, even if Albert did get over his jealousy and put his seed inside her.

  When his hand cupped her breast, she drew her breath in sharply. ‘Albert, don’t do anything if you don’t want to.’

  His eyes flashed in the darkness. ‘I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to,’ he said, softly. ‘You’re nothing but a wicked witch, Bathie Ogilvie.’

  His hold tightened, and she turned gladly to face him, but in a moment he took his hand away and groaned. ‘It’s no use.’

  She couldn’t understand. ‘What’s wrong, Albert?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong.’ His voice was curt. ‘I just can’t.’

  He rolled round, facing away from her, and she lay, far into the night, wishing that she’d had the common sense to leave things as they’d been before.

  The McKenzies took Bathie out in the car several times before they went back to Edinburgh, and she enjoyed every minute of the outings. Kathleen, sitting in the back seat with her, kept giving little squeals of delight every time they passed something interesting, and Bathie followed her pointing finger, feeling every bit as excited as her granddaughter. Occasionally, Gavin would give a little snippet of the history of the place they were passing through, and Bathie asked as many questions as the child did. If only it could always be like this, she thought.

  On the first full Saturday, Gavin and Ellie took Ishbel with them instead, there being room for only one extra, and on the Sunday, Albert had his turn. Gracie didn’t mind not being included, being with Joe more than made up for it.

  On their last Saturday evening, Gavin and Ellie were sitting with Bathie and Albert in the parlour when Gracie brought in her young man. She was ecstatically flushed, and her mother’s spirits hovered, unsure of whether to be glad or sorry at what the girl was obviously going to tell them.

  It was Joe who came forward. ‘Mr Ogilvie,’ he began, shyly, ‘I’ve come to ask your permission to marry Gracie.’

  In the confusion of good wishes and congratulations that broke out, Albert was left sitting with his mouth open. He’d had no chance to say yea or nay, for the decision seemed to have been taken out of his hands, and he remained seated for a few more minutes before jumping up to join the excited group.

  He pushed his way to Joe, who looked at him ruefully. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Ogilvie . . .’

  Albert grasped his hand. ‘I haven’t had a chance to say it yet, but you’ve got my permission, and my blessing.’

  ‘Thank you.’ The young man’s face, round and red-cheeked, reflected his happiness, and when he turned to look at Gracie, his shining eyes proved to them all how much he loved her.

  She laughed with delight. ‘I’d a feeling Joe was going to ask me some time soon, and I was wishing he’d hurry up and do it before you went home, Ellie, for I wanted to let all of you know at the same time, and he did.’

  Going back to his seat, Gavin remarked, ‘You’ve given us a grand finale to our holiday, Gracie.’

  ‘When are you getting married, Auntie Gracie?’ Kathleen looked up hopefully. ‘Can I be flower girl?’

  ‘Oh, Kathleen,’ Ellie reprimanded her, ‘give them time. They
haven’t planned it yet, and I’m sure Auntie Gracie’ll let you know if she wants you.’

  ‘Yes, Kathleen.’ Gracie wanted the little girl to be as happy as everyone else. ‘Of course I’ll want you to be my flower girl, and I’ll give you plenty warning, so you can have another beautiful dress made.’

  Ishbel’s face fell now. ‘What about me, Gracie? Do you not want me to be your flower . . . ?’

  Gracie turned to Bathie. ‘Would she be old enough to be my bridesmaid, Mother?’

  ‘She’ll be fifteen in a couple of months, so I suppose she’d be old enough. You’re not thinking of having your wedding sooner than that, are you?’ Bathie wasn’t looking forward to losing another daughter.

  ‘No, no. It’ll be a good while yet.’

  Joe butted in. ‘I want to find a house first.’

  ‘But you don’t need to look for a house,’ Bathie burst out, then recalled Albert’s warnings about planning her children’s lives for them, and stopped in confusion.

  Looking at Joe, Albert said quietly, ‘There’s plenty of room for you here, if you want to come. There’s two attics, and there’ll be two rooms spare on the middle floor, but it’s up to you, lad. We’re not forcing you into anything.’ Gracie made the decision before Joe could answer. ‘We want our own house, Father.’ Looking at Bathie, she added, ‘I hope you’re not disappointed, Mother.’

  ‘No, of course not. It’s only natural.’

  Later, Bathie thought mournfully that in another couple of years, Ishbel would want to leave the house on the brow of the Gallowgate, too, the house Albert had been so taken with over thirty years ago, the house which had once been filled with their children, and which she’d hoped would be filled with their children’s children some day.

  Joe would leave Albert and get a better job with higher wages – who could blame him? In no time at all, they’d be left on their own in nine rooms, with no help.

  Worse than any of that, there would be no more children for them now. Since she’d tried to kindle his desire again, Albert had given her a light peck on the cheek every night, then turned over and gone to sleep. She hadn’t had the courage to ask Gavin why her husband had stopped when he’d seemed so aroused, and believed that her body had repelled him.

  Next morning, when Ellie went upstairs to pack the things she’d just ironed, Bathie felt the need for a reviving cup of tea. After the activity of the last two weeks, she was going to miss the McKenzies after they went home.

  When Gavin came in and sat down with his bushy eyebrows raised, she knew what he was silently asking her.

  ‘Albert couldn’t,’ she whispered. ‘I thought he was going to, but he stopped and said it was no use.’

  ‘I thought that might happen.’ Gavin was totally the doctor now, as she fully realized. ‘He’s probably impotent.’

  ‘Impotent?’

  ‘Not able to carry out his sexual urges.’ The words came out casually. ‘He’ll have all the signs that he’s roused, but when it comes to the act, everything fades.’

  ‘Oh.’ Bathie breathed out slowly. ‘I thought he didn’t want to. I thought he must be disgusted at me being older.’

  The man’s professional smile didn’t reassure her much. ‘He might get over it. He probably will, if you give him time and don’t say anything about it.’

  She couldn’t really understand, but nodded as if she did, and his smile became natural again.

  ‘Now, Bathie, one more word to you. You’re going to have a bit of stress when all your grandchildren are being born, and also when Gracie gets married, so take it easy. You don’t want another heart attack or any of those old headaches.’

  ‘I certainly don’t. I’ll try to keep calm and not do too much, though it’s going to be difficult. You know how I am.’

  ‘That’s why I’m warning you, and don’t start fretting that there’ll soon only be you and Albert left. All mothers have to face that some time, and it doesn’t make them useless. They’ve a role to play as grandmothers, too. Remember that, Bathie.’

  Leaning back in his chair, his face softened. ‘Ellie’ll need you for a while after the baby’s born, you know, so you’ll have to come and stay with us for a few weeks when the nurse leaves. I’ve only booked her for one week.’

  Kathleen poked her head round the door at that moment. ‘Daddy, Mummy says will you go up and give her a hand to shut the cases. She’s tried everything, but she can’t do it.’

  When he stood up, the little girl placed her hand in his, to pull him through the door, and he winked to Bathie over his shoulder as they went out.

  She poured herself another cup. She certainly didn’t want any more headaches, nor heart pains, so she’d have to keep calm about everything, and just pray that her husband would stop being impotent.

  The house was quiet after Ellie and her family left in the early afternoon, until Ishbel came stamping down the stairs, her face a study in exasperation.

  ‘I’ve been thinking. How can I be a bridesmaid when I’m still at school? You should have let me leave in June.’

  ‘You’re better to take the chance of a good education when you can,’ her father told her, firmly.

  ‘Why? You’ll just make me work in the house and the shop when I do leave.’

  ‘If you pass the Higher Day School Leaving exam, I might think about letting you take a proper job.’

  ‘You’d better remember your promise when the time comes,’ she muttered darkly, as she went out.

  ‘We’ll never be weary as long as we’ve got Ishbel,’ Albert observed. ‘I know you’re feeling downhearted about Gracie not wanting to live here after she’s married, but it’s up to them, for they’ve . . .’

  ‘ . . . their own lives to lead,’ Bathie finished for him, despondently. ‘But all our children seem to want to get as far away from us as they can. Gracie and Joe’ll want to go in a while, no doubt, and Ishbel, as well, when she gets married.’

  Her husband chuckled loudly. ‘You’re really down in the dumps, aren’t you? Don’t meet trouble halfway, Bathie.’

  Offended by his laughter, she sat in silence, but she knew he was right. She was down in the dumps, and was it any wonder, with what was happening in her life? It didn’t make it any easier, Albert laughing at her like that. He could at least have tried to be a bit sympathetic.

  That night, to her great joy, he cradled her in his arms. ‘I’m sorry for laughing at you today, my love, but if I hadn’t, you’d have ended up in tears. Remember, you’ll always have me, and I’ll be happy having you all to myself again.’

  ‘Yes,’ she gulped. ‘We’ll always have each other.’

  He overcame his earlier impotence in a few minutes, and a delighted Bathie was left to wonder, when it was over, whether or not another Ogilvie had been planted.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  ‘Flo’s had a boy, Albert.’

  When Bathie ran into the shop, the cable flapping in her hand, both men looked up and grinned, and, because Albert had told all his customers about the triple expected happy events, the two women they were serving listened with interest as he read the message out.

  ‘Handed in at 8.15 a.m. on 4th November, 1921. Mother and son both doing well. One-armed father still in shock.’

  There was no sender’s name, but they all had a good laugh at the last six words, and Bathie felt very relieved that Will Dunbar could joke so easily about his disability.

  She climbed the stairs much more slowly than when she’d gone down, and Gracie turned round from the table in alarm at the sound of her mother’s laboured breathing.

  ‘You shouldn’t have run down,’ she chided, gently. ‘You’re not so young as you used to be, you know.’

  ‘I’m not a decrepit old woman, either,’ Bathie answered sharply, then sat down heavily on the nearest chair.

  Reassured by the quick retort, Gracie turned away. ‘I wonder if Flo’ll carry on down the alphabet?’

  ‘So you all knew we were doing that, did you?
’ Although Bathie was smiling, her hand was on her heaving chest.

  ‘Ellie pointed it out when Kathleen was born, so Will and Flo’s will have to be L, if they’re going to do it.’

  ‘He’s my first grandson, Gracie, whatever his name is, and I’ll never see him,’ Bathie said, her misery made worse by the knowledge that her attempts to produce another son had failed.

  ‘Once Will’s been a partner for a few years, they’ll maybe manage to come home for a holiday.’

  ‘I should be grateful I’ll be able to see Ellie’s baby when it comes. It’ll be the only one of the three, though.’

  ‘Gavin asked you to go to Edinburgh after the baby’s born, didn’t he? You won’t have long to wait.’

  ‘I don’t know if I should go, Gracie – it’s a long way to travel on my own.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. It won’t be a holiday for you, but it’ll be a change.’ Gracie looked up from mixing a sponge pudding. ‘Have you ever had a holiday?’

  ‘Not since I married your father. Where could we have gone with all you children?’

  ‘You’ll soon only have one left, so you can go away any time you like,’ Gracie reminded her.

  At one o’clock, Albert brought up a bottle of wine. ‘We’ll have a little drink with our dinner, to wet the baby’s head,’ he said, and laughed when Bathie stipulated, ‘Just one, remember.’

  Hetty’s letter, which arrived the following day, had been written before her sister’s baby was born.

  ‘Flo’s looking like a healthy hippopotamus, and Will’s like a cat with two tails. I just hope everything goes all right for Vena, but she was quite well the last time I saw her, which was quite a while ago, but Charlie would have let us know if anything was wrong. I feel a bit jealous, but my turn will come once Martin pays his mother back what she lent him.

  ‘I wasn’t going to tell you, but she’s been a bit funny lately. It started the last time we invited Charlie and Vena here for an evening, and Mother-in-Law turned up as well. I don’t know if Martin had told her we’d invited them, I don’t think so, and I didn’t really mind her coming, because she’d never met Vena before, and it was the first time she’d seen Charlie since they came here, but a queer thing happened.