Sweetest Heartbreak

by Heather Bentley

  “What’s your story, Princess?”

  “Princess?” My eyes roll at the unoriginal name.

  “Jesus. Don’t tell me you don’t know Star Wars.” His tone is more disgusted than accusatory.

  “Of course I do,” I answer defensively.

  The first time I saw A New Hope was a few years after my dad died. Seeing this tough woman who fought alongside men, carried a gun instead of a purse, never shed a tear, and also happened to be royalty, I couldn’t get enough. In the privacy of my bedroom, I’d pretend that I was Leia, fighting Darth Vader like he was the cancer that had taken my dad. Except for the fact that we shared a similar name, she was everything I wasn’t. That I was sure I could never be.

  Heath shakes his head, his obvious irritation with me growing as he tucks the box back under the sofa. I watch the door, willing Eli to walk back through it, thinking this can’t get worse.

  “So . . . you and Eli, are you two fuck buddies?”

  “No! Nothing like that.” The words fly from my mouth.

  He grins at my shock and discomfort, exposing a perfect dimple on his cheek. I shake away the thought.

  “I’m his friend. His best friend.” I wince as soon as the last word drops from my mouth and rush to repair the damage. “I mean, his other best friend.”

  His jaw grinds, and his shoulders stiffen the tiniest bit. My chest fills with guilt as I witness the effect my words have on him.

  I look down and notice my thumb rubbing over the face of the penny. I didn’t even realize I’d pulled it from my pocket, but it must have been minutes ago because it’s warm to the touch.

  Heath’s eyes move from my face to my hands and back again as his silence heightens my anxiety.

  “Sorry, nervous habit, I guess.” I shove the penny back in my pocket as he watches me.

  There’s neither a sneer nor a smirk on his face. Just his eyes locked on mine, holding me in place.

  When Eli told me I’d finally be meeting his oldest and dearest friend, I pictured the three of us becoming some kind of corny trio. Cooking dinners together. Bickering over which movies to watch. Exactly what Eli and I already do in real life.

  But, so far, it’s the exact opposite. Heath makes my neck hot, my stomach queasy, and my pulse race.

  This is not going well. This is not going well at all.

  Heath

  Jesus, what a bitch. Rubbing it in my face that she’s spent more time with my best friend in the last few years than I have. Well, I was here first, Princess. And I’ll be damned if I let you forget it.

  When Eli told me freshman year that he’d started hanging out with a chick, I figured she was homely, or he was using her to pass his classes. I mean, why else do you hook up with a girl once and decide you’re better off as friends? Then, actually stay friends? Seriously, who thinks like that? Eli—that’s who. The only guy I know who collects friends the way I collect phone numbers.

  But, after hearing about her for so long, he waits until the last minute to tell me that he’s stopping by—and, oh yeah, bringing her with. Then she ends up being the total opposite of everything I was expecting. My nostrils flare and my jaw clenches at the sight before me. All that long, wavy dark blond hair framing stormy-gray eyes and a small nose perched over full lips. It doesn’t help that she’s wearing short shorts on her goddamn tan, lean legs and a ridiculous pink T-shirt with a giant silver heart.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She shakes her head before looking down at her lap.

  My eyes lock on her hands as she runs her palms up and down her smooth thighs.

  “I know you two have been friends forever. It’s just, Eli talks about you all the time. You should know, he was really worried about you when you were . . . away.”

  What has Eli told her?

  When my narrowed eyes rise to meet hers, she turns silent. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear they were pleading for forgiveness. But I won’t let her have it. I can’t remember when I’ve had this much fun.

  I reach over to the small fridge at the end of the sofa and grab a beer. The look on her face when I pulled out my stash was priceless. Too bad the pot was old as shit and tasted like it. Not what I had planned after going through rehab the last six months, but I don’t care. It was worth the stunned look it put on her face. In fact, I liked it so much, I think I need more.

  Like the pot, the beer is so old, I don’t even remember buying it. I push thoughts of my dad’s disappointment out of my head and force down half of the can before slamming it on the coffee table.

  And there it is—exactly what I was hoping for. Her eyes grow wide, her mouth drops open in a soft O shape, and her cheeks flush a warm red. The best kind of trifecta. For a minute, I’m lost, imagining her beneath me with her lips barely parted, watching and waiting for my kiss, until my head drops, and my cool lips meet hers.

  I shake it off and remember that I need to be a dick. Otherwise, I might have to admit what Eli failed to tell me. That my best friend’s best friend is everything I don’t need. The worst kind of trifecta—sweet, innocent, and beautiful.

  “So, what’s your plan?” Eli asks as he tries to spin the basketball on his finger. It’s been a few days since he brought Leah to the house. Thankfully, he didn’t bring her back again today.

  I smack the ball away and run in for a layup. When I land, he’s standing there with his hands on his hips, annoyed.

  “My plan? First, I’m going to kick your ass on the court. Then, I’m going to get laid.” I’m messing with him—at least, partly. I had this same conversation with my dad last night. And I get it. Now that I’ve been home for a week, I need to get my shit together.

  “Don’t be an ass. You know what I mean.”

  I turn with the ball just as he rushes me and steals it away. He runs back to the three-point line and makes his shot.

  “Are you thinking of going back to school? Third time’s the charm, you know. Oh, wait. For you, it’d be the fourth.” He laughs.

  “Very funny, asshole. For your information, I got the last of my credits while I was away at Lakeland. Just waiting for my diploma to show up in the mail.” That was the only productive thing to come out of rehab.

  He passes me the ball and I move to where he just made his shot. I aim and . . . miss.

  “Ha! That’s Y. You’re officially a pussy!”

  I let my middle finger do the talking as we move toward the glass doors.

  Behind the bar, I toss him a bottle of water as he takes a seat in front of me.

  “So, seriously, Heath, what are you going to do next? Are you going to take your dad up on his offer? You’d be stupid not to.”

  I sigh, annoyed with the subject that my dad’s been pushing for months. “Just because my degree is in computer science doesn’t mean I want to spend my days updating software and busting people for watching porn.”

  “What did you think you’d really do? Work for the CIA and intercept communications from ISIS? Seriously, dude, your dad is the best litigator in Dallas. Hell, probably all of Texas. Just think of some of the batshit crazy clients he’s taken on over the years. You’d be like a cyber sleuth, digging up dirt that could help your dad win his cases. That is, when you’re not busting employees for watching porn, of course.”

  I refuse to admit he’s right even though I know it would make my dad happy. Something he deserves after I’ve been such a pain in the ass all these years. Not to mention, the trouble it would save me from actually going out and finding a job. To anyone else, this is a no-brainer. I don’t know what my problem is. Oh, yeah, I do. Getting up every day and being responsible.

  Eli gives up and changes direction. “What did you think of Leah?”

  I was wondering how long it would take him to ask. I shrug a shoulder and down a bottle of water, giving me time to come up with an answer that won’t hurt his feelings too badly. Because, let’s be honest, she doesn’t fit. Eli knows every fucked-up thing I’ve done in my life, mostly be
cause he was either a part of it or was there to bail me out. He will always accept me and all the arrogant shit I say and do. Leah, on the other hand, doesn’t know me well enough to give me that same courtesy. And she never will.

  “Whatever. She’s fine, I guess.” I crush the plastic in my fist, but Eli sits, restrained. “What?”

  “Don’t sleep with her, Heath.” His eyes are hard and his mouth is pinched in a flat line. “She’s not like that.”

  “Not like what? And what makes you think I’m even interested? I don’t do sloppy seconds.”

  I know I’ve gone too far when his fingers tighten around the rail of the bar.

  “I’ve put up with a lot of your shit over the years. So, I’m asking for this one thing. Be nice to her. Get along. But hands off. Okay?”

  He has no idea how happy I am to oblige that request. I’m not interested in girls who have sticks up their asses, no matter how much they smell like fresh laundry and vanilla.

  “Relax, man. Your princess isn’t my type.” My phone on the bar buzzes with a text. “Ah, speaking of my type.” I hold it his way. “It’s Laurie. She must have heard I was back in town. That girl doesn’t waste any time—a trait I can appreciate.”

  “Laurie Cantano? Heath, she’s a fucking stalker. Are you forgetting how psycho she was in high school? Don’t go back there, dude. It won’t end well.”

  “Relax, that was, what? Five years ago? She’s got to be past all that crap by now. Besides, I heard she has her own place and a decent job at a hotel downtown. She can’t be that crazy if she pulled that off.”

  “Your funeral. Just do yourself a favor and wrap it.”

  “Look who’s talking. When was the last time you got laid?”

  Water jostles out of his bottle as he slams it down on the bar. “None of your business.”

  It’s clear I’ve gone too far, but I just can’t stop myself. “Wait, was it Leah? Is that seriously the last time you got any? Because, if it is, that’s just sad.”

  “Fuck off. At least one of us has standards.”

  He’s right. He does have standards. While I have criteria, namely, likes to party and get naked.

  “So, explain this to me. How could you like this chick, sleep with her once, and then decide to just be friends? Tell me how that works.”

  “It’s not as easy as that.” He focuses intently on his water bottle as he pulls at the label. “First semester of our freshman year, we got seated next to each other in Econ. We met up to study and started hanging out after class, and pretty soon, we were seeing each other every day. We did that for a while till I asked her out. We dated for a couple of months until we finally slept together. It got weird right away, so, we ended things.”

  I interrupt, “You mean she ended things?”

  He gives me a dirty look, confirming my suspicions, before continuing. “At that point I’d gotten so used to seeing her every day that being away from her was harder than I realized. Turned out, she felt the same way, so we talked and decided to go back to being friends. And only friends.” He shrugs a shoulder while keeping his focus on the bottle. “Four years later, and here we are.”

  “I don’t know how you do it, man. Being friends with a hot girl like that.” I stop as a thought hits me. “Are you gay? Because I won’t judge. I have no problem with that. Unless you think I’m hot. Which, let’s face it, I am. But, seriously, I’ve known you since we were practically born. You can—”

  I don’t see the water bottle hurl toward my face in time to block it. It’s still half-full when it hits me, leaving a nice crescent-shaped dent in the center of my forehead.

  “Fuck, dude! That hurt!” I rub at the tender spot as he sits back and crosses his arms.

  “You can have Laurie Cantano kiss it better for you. And, if you call Leah hot again, I’ll kick your fucking ass.”

  “Wow. For a guy who says he’s just friends with a chick, you sure are defensive.”

  His glare tells me what I already know. He’s not fooling me. He’s got a thing for his best friend.

  Leah

  “Mom! I’m ready to make a run up to Goodwill. Is there anything else I’m missing?”

  While I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her answer, my brother, Connor, comes around the hall.

  He moves in close, his voice low. “Do you think she’s okay?” He motions his head toward the stairs.

  Our mom’s familiar humming floats through the house.

  “I think so. I mean, she’s been smiling and singing all morning.”

  “It’s just odd; that’s all,” he says quietly. “After twenty years, she finally decides that today is the day to get rid of Dad’s stuff? Just like that?”

  We stand side by side, eyes locked on the rise of the stairs.

  “Well, I, for one, am happy for her,” I whisper. “You can’t keep a closetful of your dead husband’s clothes for that long. It’s not healthy.” I watch my brother close his eyes and take a hefty breath. “Are you okay? Do you want to look through the boxes again and make sure there’s nothing you want to keep?”

  “No,” he sighs.

  I wrap him in a supportive hug that he quickly returns.

  “She needs this, Con,” I say into his shoulder.

  Other than our hair color, you’d never guess we’re twins, seeing as he’s a broad six feet tall to my narrow five foot seven. He’s grown into a younger version of our dad while I’m the same as our mom.

  “I know. I guess I just liked knowing that his stuff was always there. It gave me something to hold on to. It made up for not having a single memory of him other than the stories Mom tells.”

  I squeeze him just a bit tighter. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We were only three when he died. But at least we’ve got pictures and a few of his things that are the most important to us. Now, we need to focus on Mom. She deserves to be happy after all she’s done for us.”

  His chin bumps my shoulder as he nods in agreement.

  “Uh-oh. What’s going on here?”

  We both turn at the sound of our mom’s voice. She’s standing on the bottom stair, hands on her hips. Before either of us can come up with an answer, she steps in between us and wraps an arm around each of our waists. We instinctively do the same in return.

  “This is good, guys. It’s something I should’ve done a long time ago.” She looks from my brother to me, a sympathetic smile warming her face.

  “We just want you to be happy, Mom,” I reply.

  “What makes you think I’m not happy? You two bring me more happiness than anything. But I’m not getting any younger, and now that you’ve both graduated college and you’re starting to live lives of your own, it’s time I put a little of the focus back on myself.”

  “I think that’s great, Mom. Really,” Connor agrees. “Just tell us this doesn’t mean you’re going to start skydiving or bungee jumping.”

  I tense, worried she might actually say yes.

  Instead, she throws her head back and laughs. “Good Lord, child. The day I say I’m jumping out of a plane is the day you can check me into a psych ward.”

  My shoulders sag in relief.

  “But now is as good a time as any to tell you that I’ve decided to start dating.”

  Connor and I look around her, catching one another’s wide eyes and gaping mouths. My mom kisses each of our heads and then turns and walks to the front door, laughing all the way.

  “C’mon, Lee. I’ll ride with you to Goodwill.”

  Connor turns to me. “I think I would’ve been happier if she’d said she was going to go skydiving.”

  “Me, too, Con. Me, too.”

  “Let’s stop at the grocery store on the way back, hon. I thought I’d throw some chicken on the grill tonight.”

  “Sounds good. Eli was planning on coming over, if that’s all right.”

  “Of course. Eli is always welcome. I was beginning to worry. We haven’t seen him around as much the last couple of weeks.”<
br />
  “Well, his friend Heath is home now. I’m trying to give them some space.” More like, I need space from Heath.

  I’ve seen him a few more times at Eli’s house, and each time was a variation of the same. He treats me like I am invisible, answers my questions with one word, and—my favorite—looks at me like I have a large boil growing out of my forehead. It’s that look that usually sends me to seek out any one of Eli’s three younger sisters. But it’s all really starting to mess with my head.

  “Ah, the boy from rehab. Do I need to say it out loud that I’m not thrilled you’re hanging out with him?”

  “I’m not hanging out with him, Mom. But he’s Eli’s best friend. If I want to be friends with Eli, I have to learn how to coexist with Heath.”

  “Mmhmm.” She’s not convinced.

  “Don’t you trust me, Mother?” I sigh, eyes glued to the road.

  “Lee, I always trust you. It’s the outside influences I don’t trust.”

  “Well, for now, I’m making the best of it. Besides, Eli would kill anyone who tried to hurt me. Even Heath.”

  She shakes her head. “I just don’t get why you two don’t date. He’s such a good guy, Lee. And let’s face it, he still has feelings for you.”

  “That’s not true. Besides, he knows how I feel about him. He’s more like a brother. At least a brother who doesn’t tattle on me or tell his friends my bra size. Besides, you’ve got your own love life to focus on now.” I move my foot to the brake as it hits me. “Oh my God!”

  “What?” She turns to me, frantic.

  “My mother is going to have a love life. I don’t know if I can handle this.” I groan as I turn into the parking lot.

  “Well, handle it, sweetheart. Because I happen to have a date this weekend with Bob Crandall.”

  “My old tennis coach?” My eyes fly to meet hers. “What? How did that happen so fast?”

  “It’s actually not fast at all. I saw him at the grocery store a few weeks ago. We met for coffee once, and then, the other day, he asked me out. Easy as that.”