Sweetest Heartbreak

by Heather Bentley

  My muscles tense as her fingers swirl in teasing circles high on my thigh.

  “The one where I’m on top, and you slide your fingers down . . .”

  I clutch her hand from my leg at the same time as we rise from our seats. Not wasting any time, we weave through the crowd, toward the door, every muscle in me resisting the primal urge to throw her over my shoulder and carry her home.

  “Shouldn’t we tell Eli and Lindsey we’re leaving?” she asks through a fit of giggles as we hustle down the street.

  I don’t slow down to answer.

  “Does this mean I’m getting the move?” Her continuous laughter floats through the air.

  I quicken my pace and smirk back at her.

  This girl is my game changer. Everything she is, is everything I never knew I needed. I don’t know how I ever survived without her. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost her.

  And, yes, of course she’s getting the move. I’d give this girl anything.

  Leah

  “I got them a plant. Do you think she’s a plant person? I never thought to ask.” I fuss with a twisted leaf before reaching for the housewarming card.

  “It’s fine. It’s a plant. Who doesn’t like plants?” Heath responds from the sofa.

  “Us, for one.”

  It’s true. There’s not one plant in the condo, mostly because I have the blackest of black thumbs, and Heath couldn’t care less either way. He meant it when he said I could fill the place however I like.

  “Do you think they’re making a mistake? I mean, moving in together is a big deal, and they’ve only been dating six months.”

  “What are you worried about?” He tilts his head back to me from his seat on the sofa.

  I walk over and straddle his lap, my pale-yellow sundress floating out around me as my phone pings from the kitchen with a new text. I ignore it, already certain it’s Burger texting me for the fifth time today.

  “I like Lindsey. Really.” I watch my hands run up and over his shoulders and then back down again. “It’s just not like Eli to do anything so rash, like buying a house and asking his girlfriend to move in with him. Don’t you think?”

  “We didn’t exactly wait around to move in together, so who are we to judge? Besides, you said before, if Eli’s happy, then you’re happy.”

  A soft huff escapes my lips.

  “Want to know what I really think?” he asks as my fingers continue their perusal of the soft cotton of his T-shirt.

  “What’s that?”

  He grasps my forearms. “I think you’re so used to Eli running all of his decisions by you that you can’t handle him going to someone else for a change.”

  He places a warm kiss on the inside of each wrist before lowering them to my sides, slightly behind my back, and holding them firmly in place. His eyes darken, and I swallow.

  “I meant it when I said that I like Lindsey. She’s good for him,” I whisper.

  “I believe you. Because I know how much you care about Eli. And that’s one of my favorite things about you. You care about everyone in a way that I never knew a person could. When we first met, I thought it was an act. I didn’t trust anything about you. But, between your beauty and your kindness, you made a believer out of a piece of shit like me. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Leah. And I want you to know that, one day, I’ll be the same for you.”

  I want more than anything to touch him and kiss him and tell him what I truly feel for him with every bone in my body. But he’s holding on to my hands the same way he’s holding on to my heart. Tight and strong.

  Our eyes are locked on one another, and I can feel my heart beating double time in my chest, every breath deeper than the last.

  My head clashes with my heart, and without thought, my mouth falls open, releasing the three words that could ruin everything, “I love you.”

  His body stiffens under mine and his eyes widen in sharp contrast to his clamped mouth. The silence stretches, and with each passing second, my panic rises and pinches at my heart until he releases my hands and splays his own around my waist. Stroking with his thumbs, he pulls me forward and plants a kiss on the exposed skin at the base of my neck. I brace my arms on either side of him at the back of the sofa as he continues his path upward. When he’s just about to take my mouth, he pushes his fingers back into my hair and whispers my name between our lips before pulling me down to him.

  I dig my nails into the cushion, my returning kiss strained and hesitant, but he doesn’t let up. His hands hold me in place until he feels the uncertainty in my muscles fade away as I give in to him.

  When he’s convinced I’m ready, my hands are led to the waist of his shorts. While I free him beneath me, I rise up onto my knees to allow him under my dress where he pulls aside my panties.

  Taking a moment to break from the kiss, he speaks with his eyes the words he’s not yet able to say. I soak them in, studying the black specks among his deep blues, before leaning my forehead against his and lowering myself onto him.

  Strong, wide hands grip my middle and pull me down until he’s deep inside me, causing him to release a shuddered, heavy breath. I slide my fingers over his muscled shoulders and begin to rock, meeting him as his hips lift. His hold on me hardens as we quicken our pace, and his lips brush against my own until, finally, his fingers wrap around the back of my head, and we kiss, deep and ragged, through his orgasm first and then mine a moment later.

  We continue kissing as we slow our pace, wrapped in each other’s arms, exactly where we need to be.

  Although he wasn’t able to say the words I had been hoping to hear, I know he’ll get there. And, for now, that’s all I need.

  Heath

  “Tell me you did not bring your Kindle to a football game.” I tap on the hot-pink device sitting in Leah’s lap.

  “I didn’t bring my Kindle to a football game. I brought it to a boring football game.”

  I shake my head and feign disappointment. “Had I known, I would’ve brought more cash.”

  “Why would you need more money?”

  “Because, when people see you in these seats, reading instead of watching the game, you’re probably going to get heckled. So, naturally, I’ll have to fight them. And, because I’ll totally kick their asses, I’ll get arrested, and you’ll need money to bail me out.”

  “What’s so great about our seats? I’d rather be up in one of those.” She points back to the line of skyboxes. “You get the dessert cart if you sit up there.”

  “Princess, we’re sitting tenth row on the fifty-yard line. I guarantee you, everybody in those boxes wishes they were us right now.”

  Her eyes catch on the cluster of linebackers the size of refrigerators that gather in front of us. “You’re right. These aren’t such bad seats after all.”

  I cross my arms with a teasing grunt. “Are you seriously checking out football players while you’re sitting next to me?”

  “I thought you wanted me to watch the game.”

  She playfully bats her lashes before placing a feather-light kiss on my lips. That only makes me want more. I’ll always want more from this girl.

  I lean away and cover my lap with my hands before this gets embarrassing. “Maybe it’s better for everyone if you read after all.”

  She throws her head back and laughs.

  As the game begins, she tries her best to pay attention, occasionally cheering when I cheer, but most of the game, she does what she said she’d do. She reads. And I find myself watching her more than the overpaid players on the field. Her hair falls over her face like a curtain between us, and I wait in anticipation for the moment she pushes it back behind her ear. When she does, the glow of the screen rewards me with a clear view of her gray eyes and pink cheeks as she taps a finger over her pursed lips in deep concentration. My favorite though is when she closes her eyes and inhales a long, slow breath, absorbing the moment from the story like she’s reading alone on the sofa instead of in a sold-out stadium
of one hundred thousand fans.

  The final buzzer sounds, and the crowd around us stands and shouts in victory.

  “Did we win?” She closes her Kindle and looks up to the scoreboard, unable to see it because of the wall of bodies.

  “Yes. And it was a great game. You should’ve been there.” I throw her a wink.

  Enclosed by the towering crowd, I take advantage and do what I’ve been waiting to do throughout the entire game. I bend in and kiss her. What starts off soft and affectionate quickly turns fervent and eager.

  “Get a room!” is shouted from somewhere above us, causing Leah to instantly tug back and hide her face in embarrassment.

  I pull her in by her neck and kiss the top of her head, laughing, and even though her hands are still covering her face, I feel her do the same.

  The parking lot is so congested, she’s asleep before we hit I-30. After the noise of the last few hours, there’s nothing better than sitting next to her, only the sound of her breathing filling the small space. When we make it to the garage, I park the car and kill the engine, hoping to give her another minute of sleep. Her long hours at work are finally catching up to her.

  I step out and come around to her side. “You’re so beautiful,” I whisper down to her sleeping form.

  Just as I go to wake her, her phone, lying in the center console, lights up with a text from Burger.

  They loved you. It’s yours if you want it.

  Seems I’m not the only one in love with Leah Dawson.

  “Someone keeps texting you.” Like I don’t already know who it is.

  She reads the message then immediately puts the phone away.

  “Anything important?”

  “Nope, just annoying work stuff.” She bends over me, her mouth to my ear, as her hand warms my chest. “I’m going to shower before dinner. Want to join me?”

  “No, I’ve got to fix a few work issues.” I stay focused on my computer, but out of the corner of my eye, I don’t miss her pout.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, someone opened an email they shouldn’t have and downloaded a virus,” I lie.

  “That’s all?”

  “That’s all. I’ll order dinner.” My attention stays on my screen.

  “You’re the best.” She gives my shoulder a squeeze and then disappears down the hall.

  When she told me she loved me, I willed the words to come out. But they just wouldn’t. So, instead of my voice, I used my body to tell her how I felt. Every touch was my way of communicating to her the words I couldn’t speak. I knew she was there with me, understood my silent thoughts. I saw it in her eyes. I felt it with every pulse of my heart. Until she went to clean up, and I went to the kitchen for a drink and happened to catch the first of now many texts from Burger on her phone. One had asked if she knew that Chicago was only a two-hour flight away. I didn’t give it much thought at first.

  Then, today, she got a call and took it out on the balcony. The call lasted less than five minutes, but when I asked her about it and she rolled her eyes, saying it was nothing, that hurt the most.

  She hadn’t been there with me in that moment after all. If she loved me like she said she did, then she wouldn’t be keeping secrets.

  A minute later, I hear the shower start, and I rush down the hall to where she leaves her workbag. Opening her laptop, I start scanning her emails. She didn’t even bother to delete them.

  Leah, it was so great to finally talk with you about the opportunity with our agency. I promise, you’ll love Chicago, and with your experience, you’ll fit right in at Milo Harnett.

  Blah. Blah. Blah.

  Looking forward to working with you.

  I’ve seen enough. I close the laptop and reach into her bag. And there it is, right on top. A large white envelope with the words Milo Harnett Advertising Agency. Inside is a stack of brochures and printouts on restaurants, museums, and shopping with a bright orange sticky note on top that reads, Everything there is to love about Chicago!

  She’s leaving me.

  I pace the room like a caged animal. Is this how my dad felt when my mom left? Did he come home to a silent house and empty closets? Did she bother to leave a note, telling him why?

  Whatever it was, it was shitty enough that he never talks about it. But it doesn’t matter because there’s one thing I have that my dad didn’t. A fucking clue. Like hell will I let her be the one to decide that this is over, to pack a bag and sneak out in the night to build a life without me in it.

  Everything has been put back in its place when she enters the room, hair damp and face smiling. “What did you decide to order?”

  “What?”

  “For dinner? What did you order?”

  “I got distracted and forgot. Order whatever you want.”

  At my shortness, she walks over and sits on the arm of the chair. “Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” she asks softly as she runs the back of her smooth hand on my cheek, the familiar scent of her vanilla lotion filling my nose.

  I turn away. “I told you, just work shit.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shake her off.

  “Okay, I’ll give you some space.”

  The second she’s gone from the room, I text an old high school buddy I used to party with. Then, before I talk myself out of it, I send a second text. I’m not going to be played like my dad was by my mom. She ruined him, and there’s no way in hell I’ll let that happen to me. I won’t be the one to be left alone, looking the fool. She will.

  Days later, I smoke a bowl, snort a couple lines of coke, and then chase that with a beer or three. Anything I can get my hands on to give me the courage to do what I’m about to do. To obliterate the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

  Leah

  I walk in the door and drop my bag against the hall table as I slip my shoes off, my aching feet immediately appreciating the coolness of the floor. I’ve been waiting for this moment since the Senior Account Executive threw me under the bus when the client asked where we were at with their recruitment campaign. He tossed it to me, knowing perfectly well that he never once mentioned their request, leaving me to look like the inept idiot.

  After today, I’m ready to ask Burger to find me something new, but here, in Dallas. That would do the double task of not only getting me away from my current boss, but also getting Burger to leave me alone about Chicago once and for all. The guy needs to learn the meaning of the word no. How many different times and in how many different ways can I say it?

  On top of my work stress, Heath has been growing distant. I don’t know what to do, but I keep trying any way I can. Like cooking nice dinners for him every night even though I’m exhausted, which he ends up barely touching. And, when we have sex, I’m convinced he’s looking anywhere but at me. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he brushes me off or finds an excuse to leave the condo.

  I go from bending over backward for my boss at work to doing the same for my boyfriend at home, and I’m about to break. I haven’t felt so alone and fragile since my dad died, and it’s just getting worse.

  There’s a single light on in the kitchen as I open the fridge, looking for something quick to eat, but there’s nothing that can go directly from the shelf to my mouth. Instead, I grab a bottle of water, and just as I’m about to take the first sip, I hear an odd noise coming from down the hall.

  “Heath?” I call out.

  The hairs on my neck rise as I set the bottle down and inch as quietly as possible toward the source.

  As I inch closer, the sound grows clearer. I consider running back to the kitchen to get a knife when I hear it again. It’s low, male.

  Is he . . .

  Even though I live here, I’m afraid to barge in and catch him alone in a precarious position.

  Just as I’m approaching the door, I hear a second sound. A moan, feminine and gravelly. The blood rushes from my head at the same time my hand finds the knob.

  The door
swings open and I manage a few feeble steps into the room—then time stops. A bomb could drop at my feet, and it still wouldn’t decimate me the way the sight in front of me is managing to do.

  Under the comforter of our bed, Heath is lying on top of a woman. Although her face is hidden in his chest, I know who the frizzy brown hair spread across my pillow belongs to.

  Every muscle in my body grows rigid and cold as my chest hollows out with every grunt and groan that cracks my heart. He continues moving above her, neither of them the wiser that I’m even there.

  I force out his name, my voice broken and weak, “Heath.”

  It’s enough for him to lift his chin and turn, his unsurprised eyes locking on mine.

  “Hey, Princess, you’re home. I’ll take care of you next. Better yet, why don’t you join us?” An evil smile is planted across his face, curling up to eyes that are mere slits.

  If it wasn’t his body, in our home, I wouldn’t believe what I was seeing. But it’s real. Heath is in our bed with another woman.

  I step backward, tripping over myself and bumping into the doorframe, before stumbling down the hall and bouncing from wall to wall like the metal ball of a pinball machine. My foot catches on my bag, so I clutch it to my chest and then race out to my car. I drive a block or two with no clue as to where I’m headed when the trembling begins to take over. My stomach churns, and my vision blurs, forcing me to pull into a parking lot. I stop the car with just enough time to push open the door and vomit onto the blacktop below, a sob following close behind.

  My fingers fumble over my phone as the names on the screen go in and out of focus. I wipe the tears from my eyes and manage to call Eli.

  I’m sitting sideways out of my car door, my head hanging low with nausea, as Lindsey answers, “Hey, Leah.”

  A spasm surfaces, forcing my silence.