“This is what you want, right?”
“Yeah.” I smiled even though I didn’t want to.
Scotty smiled back. “I’m happy for you. To be honest, I was worried you would never get past this point. It’s already been over a year and there was no change in you. I’m glad you’re progressing. Keep going. You’re so close to being put back together.”
That sounded too good to be true.
“Are you going to tell him?”
“God, no,” I blurted.
“What? Why?”
“He’ll see me differently.”
“Why?”
“I was so weak…pathetic. It’s embarrassing.”
He shook his head slightly. “We all make mistakes. Liam doesn’t seem like the judgmental type.”
“I still don’t want him to know.”
“And you’re nothing like that now. You may not see it, but you are much stronger than you were then. To continue forward and find a reason to live after what happened is pretty amazing.”
I felt my eyes burn with tears. “Thanks…even though it wasn’t easy.”
“You still did it.” He clapped my back then left the couch. “I got to get to school. See you later.”
“Bye.”
I went to school and finished my classes. Now that Liam and I were together, I wasn’t sure how to behave around him. I decided not to think about it too hard. When I did that, I usually sabotaged things.
I saw him in the hallway after I finished my finite algebra class. When our eyes met, my stomach filled with butterflies. My heart pounded in my chest. My palms automatically started to sweat. I was nervous but it wasn’t in a bad way.
When he reached me, he didn’t say anything. Instead, his arm hooked around my waist and he planted a kiss on my cheek. My breathing hitched when I felt him touch me. When I recovered, I wrapped my arms around him and returned the embrace. I felt him take a deep breath when he held me.
Liam pulled away but kept his hand on my waist. “How are you?”
“Happy.”
His eyes lit up in joy. “Good. Lunch?”
“Sure.”
He guided me to the cafeteria then ordered his food. When I ordered mine, he paid for both then carried the tray to a table outside. He sat down then patted the seat next to him. When I sat beside him, he rested his hand on my thigh. The affection was novel to me. No one ever touched me like that. No one had ever kissed me on the cheek.
I ate my fries, loving the way his hand felt on my thigh.
Bran joined us then eyed Liam. “It’s about time.”
Scotty put his tray down and started a slow clap. “And two months later…”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Beautiful things are worth waiting for.”
My cheeks reddened at his words.
We had our lunch in comfortable silence. The world felt different now that Liam and I were together. The sky was biiger, and the sun was brighter. I felt safe with him, that he wouldn’t hurt me for any reason. And that was a big accomplishment.
Liam walked me to my car afterwards, his hand in mine. “What are you doing later?”
I shrugged. “Just hanging at my place.”
“You want to just hang at my place?” he asked with a smile.
My initial reaction was fear. I wasn’t ready to be physical, but Liam said we didn’t have to be if I didn’t want to. And I believed him. “Okay.”
“Good.” He opened my door and got me inside. “Come over for dinner.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, baby.”
Baby?
He shut the door then walked to his truck. I watched him from my window, noting the muscles in his back. His shoulders were wide and broad, and his arms bulged with strength. I saw Liam in a way I never had before. I started to see the physical attributes women were so found of. I knew Liam was attractive, but I was starting to realize just how much.
I grabbed a bottle of wine before I came over, not wanting to show up without anything. Liam always paid for everything and lavished me with gifts, and I wanted to do something in return. His biggest gift was his patience. I was starting to trust again, to see the world for the beauty it held.
As soon as he opened the door, he pulled me inside and hugged me. We embraced each other all the time. And when we did, we held each other for a long time.
Liam rubbed his nose in my hair. “You smell good.”
I rested my head against his chest, feeling the strength underneath. “You feel good.”
His hands moved up and down my back. “You hungry?”
“I’m always hungry.”
Liam pulled away and led me to the table. Homemade pizza was on the counter and two plates.
“You made this yourself?”
“I can do more than surf.” He winked at me.
We ate in silence. I didn’t feel awkward sitting across from him. I used to dodge his look whenever possible, but now I relished in it.
“You’re beautiful.”
He never said that to me before. I was speechless, unsure what to say.
“I’ve wanted to say that to you every day but I was scared it would push you away. So I’m going to say it now.”
I felt my face flood with heat. “Thank you…”
When we finished, Liam left the plates in the sink. “I Love Lucy?”
I laughed. “We can watch something else.”
“You don’t like I Love Lucy?” he asked incredulously.
“I didn’t say that.” I sat on the couch and he sat beside me.
He put his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. Then he grabbed the remote. “Let’s see what’s on Animal Planet.”
“I love Animal Planet.”
“It’s a chick thing. All girls like it.”
I wrapped my arm around his waist and held him close. I loved feeling his muscles underneath. I could lay this way all day. When my eyes closed, Liam lay down then pulled me on his chest. I wrapped my leg around his. His hand moved through my hair, making me feel relaxed.
I left my hand on his chest and felt it rise and fall with his breaths. When I looked at him, his eyes were on me. He was staring at me, ignoring the documentary about buffalos.
I didn’t look away. Instead, I held his gaze and studied his face. His bright blue eyes were my favorite things to look at. His chiseled jaw and prominent cheekbones made me melt. He was so handsome that it hurt. He was a guy I never thought I had a chance with. He was totally out of my league. I’m not sure what I did to get him to notice me, but I’m glad I did.
“You should tell Scotty you’re staying here for the night,” he whispered.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I should?”
“I want to sleep with you. Just sleep with you,” he added.
The only man who ever slept with me never held me like this. His fingers didn’t run through my hair. He didn’t stare at me the way Liam did. It was nothing like this. “I’ve never done that before…”
“I won’t do anything unless you want to. I promise.”
“Okay.”
“Text him.”
I pulled my phone out and typed the message. Staying at Liam’s tonight. Don’t wait up for me.
Ooooh. Someone’s gonna get some.
Shut up. I’m just sleeping here.
Sure…
I put the phone away and rolled my eyes.
“Give you a hard time?” Liam asked.
“He assumed we would have sex.”
“Who cares what he thinks.”
“True.” I snuggled into him again.
“Let’s go in my room.”
I felt my heart accelerate. He must have noticed, because his eyes widened.
“I’m not trying to trick you. A bed is more comfortable than a couch, especially since I’m so tall. Please trust me.”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay.” He scooped me in his arms and carried me up the stairs. We passed a hallway of doors the
n entered his bedroom.
It contained dark cherry wood furniture and a large bed with a dark blue comforter and gray sheets. Black curtains covered the windows. It was very masculine. There was no doubt a man lived in there.
Liam placed me on the bed then opened his drawer. “Here’s a t-shirt and shorts.” He handed them to me. “You can change in the bathroom.”
I took them then disappeared. Like a crazy person, I sniffed his clothes and relished the familiar scent. They were clean but still smelled like him. And I loved that smell. I pulled them on, suddenly feeling hot because his clothes covered me. It was a feeling I’d never felt.
When I came back into his room, he was wearing sweatpants but he was shirtless. Even though the room was dark, I could see the definition in his stomach and chest. Everything was hard and carved. I didn’t understand how someone became that fit unless they had unusual discipline. But Liam was beautiful. I felt desire and attraction toward him, something I hadn’t felt in so long it was like I never had.
He turned to me and watched me stare at his body. But he didn’t say anything. He pulled the covers back and got into bed. “Come here.”
I moved into the bed next to him, feeling his arms circle me. It felt nice. Liam kept his promise and didn’t pressure me to do anything.
I marveled at his large house and wondered how he lived there alone. How could he afford such a place? He never talked about a job so I assumed he didn’t work. Perhaps he had a scholarship, or maybe his parents paid for everything. Or maybe they were dead just like mine. He never said. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to give up the same information in return. “I don’t know very much about you.”
“How is that possible?” he whispered. “We’ve spent the past two months together.” His hand moved up the back of my shirt slightly, his fingers resting on my lower back. He didn’t go higher than that, which I appreciated.
“I still don’t know a lot about you.”
“What would you like to know?” he asked.
“Whatever you’re willing to share.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How about you just ask what you want to know. I’m an open book with nothing to hide.”
“I just don’t want you to ask me the same questions in return.”
His eyes softened. “Ask away.”
“Really?”
“If I open myself to you, maybe you’ll do the same.” He pressed his face close to mine.
“Are you close with your family?”
“No.”
“You don’t talk to them?”
“Not in years.”
“Oh. Why?”
He was quiet for a while. “It’s too hard.”
What did that mean?
“My sister passed away. After that, everything fell apart. I couldn’t stay at the house anymore. And my mom looks just like her. It’s just too hard…”
Oh my god. “I’m so sorry…”
“I know.”
“How did she pass away?”
“She was beaten to death.” His words held no emotion.
I froze at his words. “What…?”
“Her boyfriend was abusive. They had an argument…he didn’t stop.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ve never really gotten over it. I’ve been pretty angry ever since.”
My brain was in overload. I couldn’t process what he said. It was too familiar, too similar. My tears came to the surface quicker than I could process the emotion and they fell. “Oh my god.”
His eyes clouded when he looked at me. “I didn’t mean to upset you…”
I clung to him, sobbing hysterically. It could have been me.
He ran his hands through my hair. “Baby, shh…”
I couldn’t stop crying. I bawled for an hour. His pillows and sheets were soaked with my depression. He held me the entire time and waited for me to calm down.
Liam stopped talking to his parents because of what happened. Would he stop talking to me if I told him the truth? It scared me just to think about it.
The back of his hand moved across my cheeks, catching the falling tears. “It’s okay.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” He held me close. “I know.”
I didn’t want to know anything else about his life. That was already enough to make me feel crippled. My breathing was still heavy from the emotion I felt.
He eyed me then spoke. “I have a dog named Quirky. He’s a lab that’s incredibly dumb, but I love him to death.”
“What?” I said with a laugh. “Where is he?”
“With my parents. I knew they needed him more than I did.”
“Oh.”
“And my favorite TV show is the Power Rangers. I still wake up early on Saturday mornings to watch it.”
That made me smile. “You’re still a little boy deep down inside.”
“I am.” He leaned in and rubbed his nose against mine. That was a first for me too. “Tell me something about you.”
“Umm…I garden because I like to make things grow.”
“Why?” he asked.
“It’s a gift. I know it seems easy but it’s not. Plants require special love, sun, and water.”
“What kind of special love?”
“Music.”
“Really?” he asked.
I nodded. “I sing to my plants. I swear it works.”
He smiled. “I believe you. It’s still a living thing.”
“You don’t think I’m crazy?” I asked incredulously.
“Not at all.” His hand moved to my hip. His thumb rubbed the skin for a long time and he didn’t pull away. “You say you don’t know me very well, but I don’t think that’s true. I think we know the important things about each other, the innate parts that will never change.
“You know my habits and my reactions. You’ve seen me with my friends and have seen me with you. You know how I look when I’m upset, and you know what I’ll say in any situation. More importantly, you know I’ll do everything and anything to make you happy. Because that’s what I’ve been trying to do since the day we met.”
His words made my heart flutter.
“But we have an infinite amount of time to get to know each other better.” He cupped my face. “And I want to know everything about you—everything you are willing to share.”
I placed my hand on his and stared at his lips. I was drawn to him, wanting to combine our lips together, but I was scared—terrified. I hadn’t kissed anyone in so long. It was so intimate and close. I’d be giving myself to him, as much as I could at the moment.
His hand moved to my waist and he pulled me even closer to him. “I really want to kiss you,” he breathed into my face. “But I won’t unless you ask me to.” He rubbed his nose against mine then leaned again. “So please ask me.”
My hand moved to his hip, needing something to grip for balance. His words made my skin prickle. My mouth felt hot. I wanted something more than I’d been giving him. I wanted to feel his lips against mine. Unable to speak, I nodded.
“You have to tell me,” he whispered. “I don’t want to misread you.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I want you to kiss me…”
His fingers dug into my hips as he pressed his mouth to mine. As soon as our lips touched, I quivered beneath him, feeling the fire radiate everywhere. My lips and fingertips burned.
Liam kissed me in a way no one ever had. His kisses were slow. Every move of his lips was precise and purposeful. He took his time, treasuring every time our lips touched. He didn’t rush it, taking it as slow as possible.
And I loved it.
My hand moved to his back then toward his neck. I felt his large muscles shift every time he moved. My fingers moved into his hair and fisted the strands. They were soft and messy. His hand stayed on my hip, and I realized it was a preferred spot for him.
Liam kissed me for a long time before he finally slipped his tongue inside my mouth. It was slow, still precise. He breath
ed into my mouth, his excitement evident. He finally pulled his hand from my hip then cupped my face. I’d never been kissed like this before. It was like he treasured my lips, wanting to keep them forever. It hurt when I compared it to my other experience. It was sloppy and unmeaningful. It was a waste of a first kiss. It should have been this. And that hurt my heart.
Why did I have to find Liam so late in my life? Why couldn’t this happen before? My parents would still be alive…I wouldn’t have endured so much pain.
Liam lifted himself then moved further over me, his torso on top of mine. He didn’t move between my legs. Instead, he leaned over them. He still kissed me with the same intensity, making love to me with his lips. It was the most profound experience of my life, a moment where I felt like the other person really cared about me. My hands wrapped around his neck as I kept him close to me. His kiss was so good that I could kiss him forever. I never been sexually excited like the way I was with him. Just a simple kiss had me hot all over. It was better than any sex I ever had.
Liam kissed me for a long time, deep into the night. When it was past midnight, he finally stopped, leaving my lips cold and hungry.
“God, you’re a good kisser,” I blurted.
He chuckled. “It’s because I’m kissing you.”
“Well, you’re really good at it.”
“You are too.” He rubbed his nose against mine then snuggled beside me.
I rested my face in his chest and sighed happily.
“I like it when you do that,” he whispered.
“What?”
“When you make that noise. It usually means you’re relaxed and peaceful.”
I didn’t realize he paid so much attention to me. “I guess I do that, huh?”
He kissed me on the cheek. “Keep doing it when you’re around me. That way I know I’m doing something right.” He pulled the covers over us and closed his eyes.
I listened to the silence for a while. Just his even breathing held my attention. I couldn’t believe I was sleeping in his bed, his arms wrapped around me. I couldn’t believe where I was. I never thought I would be happy again. “Thank you.” I said it so quietly I doubt he heard me.
“For what?” he whispered back.
Unbreakable Page 10
