Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  He wanted to stay in there all day and lose himself in Bryn. Forget that his little girl was growing up, forget the chores, the paperwork, the breeding schedule. Forget it all, and just bury himself in her. Not worry about a blessed thing.

  He shoved the truck into gear and started to back out. Someone honked as he barely missed the car next to him. He braked and waved at the person in apology, then turned back to Bryn. “I think you’re trying to distract me.”

  She smiled. “I think it worked.”

  • • •

  Somehow Jake managed to drive the speed limit, or maybe just a little above, all the way back to the Diamond. It’d been a hell of a day so far, and he needed therapy. Therapy by way of Bryn.

  He came around the truck to her side, helping her down despite her protests that she could do it. What was it with the women in his life going all independent on him? Then he grabbed her hand and hustled her inside.

  Without releasing her, he shut the door behind him and started toward the bedrooms.

  “Don’t you think we should check on Grandma Esther?”

  Damn it! She was right.

  Retaining a hold on her wrist, he marched them into the living room. His grandmother was lounging on the couch watching the soap opera she DVRed daily, a large bowl of pistachios in her lap. She sat up straight when she saw them. “Jake. How good you’re home.”

  “How are you feeling, Grandma?”

  She placed the bowl on the table and patted her hair, then her stomach. “Oh, I’m better, I guess. Much better.”

  Bryn shot him a look, her lips twitching with a suppressed smile.

  Grandma Esther had been faking. But why?

  “As long as you’re better we’re going to uhum . . .”

  “Work on some things.” Bryn finished for him.

  Could she have come up with a more lame excuse?

  Grandma Esther winked. “You do that. And if Joe Dan and the boys come looking for you, I’ll tell them you’re”—she smiled lasciviously—“busy.”

  Jake laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

  • • •

  I don’t think I’ve ever been this embarrassed.” Bryn said as Jake led the way to her room. He opened the door and swung her inside, then shut it behind them. He leaned against it and smiled. “Why? Because my grandmother knows what we’re doing?”

  Heat rose into her cheeks and she knew she had to be the color of an overripe tomato. “Yes! You don’t find that the least bit embarrassing?”

  “I’m used to it. You forget I grew up around her. She’s been this way my whole life.”

  “I can’t imagine.”

  “Come here.” He jerked his head. “You’re too far away.”

  “I don’t know that I can do this.” She shook her head. “I mean, who’s to say she’s not outside right now telling your entire crew what you’re in here doing?”

  Jake pushed himself off the door. Evidently he’d grown tired of waiting for her to change her mind. “And that would bother you too?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not used to having this many people around.”

  “I see. I suppose it could be a bit daunting,” he said. He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his chest where his heart beat beneath the hard muscle and warm skin. “But it’s nothing no one else out there hasn’t done before.”

  “Not the point.”

  He held her hand in place with one of his and took her other fingers and raised them to his lips.

  “In a large household the best thing to do is ignore everybody as much as possible.”

  He used his hold on her to tug her a little closer to him. Suddenly the air was thick with wanting. “Isn’t that sort of counterproductive to having a big family? Ignoring the family?”

  He smiled and pulled her closer still. “I don’t make the rules.”

  Bryn melted when his lips touched hers. How could one kiss be so perfect? How could everything about loving Jake be so perfect?

  But it isn’t.

  She pushed those thoughts away and instead wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. The situation might not be perfect, but there was nothing wrong with this kiss.

  His lips teased, searched, his tongue rediscovered, enticed, until she thought she might self-combust. He ran his hands down her sides, holding her to him. He skimmed her belly with the backs of his fingers and palmed that round curve.

  “Are they asleep?” he asked.

  “I think so.”

  “Good,” he said. “They don’t need to be awake for this.”

  • • •

  After Jake reluctantly went back to work, Bryn donned her borrowed swimsuit, grabbed a large floppy hat and her sketch pad, then went out to the pool.

  The house was quiet without Wesley around. And Bryn found herself missing the little girl more and more. Evelyn was gone once again with strict instructions from Jake that if she’d brought back any more horses like she did the last time, she better not come back at all.

  Evelyn had just smiled at his threat and patted him on the cheek. “Mother knows best,” was all she said before climbing in her large pickup truck and heading out of town. Grandma Esther had gone in to Cattle Creek to the senior center for cards and water aerobics, which left Bryn with more time alone than she’d had in a while.

  But time alone on the ranch was different than time alone at her house in Georgia. Plus something about the beautiful landscape around her had her sketching more and more things. They had mixed with Wesley’s current hair obsession and had Bryn thinking about jewelry in a different way.

  Her fingers flew over the paper, adding a curve here and another piece there. The thoughts stacked up on each other, one on top of the other. She could use copper and add turquoise and other natural stones. Hammering and embossing everyday hair pieces. But she would want CZ chips and a sterling silver wire to render a daintier, more intricate look for those special occasions.

  She hadn’t been aware of how long she’d sat there sketching until she heard the unfamiliar engine coming toward the house. The school bus! Wesley was home.

  Bryn closed her sketch pad, set it to the side, and slipped on her shoes and a cover-up. She didn’t know where Jake was. He wouldn’t want to miss this. She’d left her phone poolside and would miss it if she went back to call him. With any luck, he’d heard the school bus as well and was on his way to watch his daughter disembark for the first time. All of the ranch kids unloaded, and the ones who lived in housing started toward home.

  “Miss Bryn! Miss Bryn!” Wesley ran toward her, those little girl legs pumping furiously, her excitement almost palpable. “Look what I did today! Look what I did today!” She had a paper in her hand, overlarge and slightly rough as if made from pulp.

  “Teacher told us to draw a picture of our family. Look at mine!” She danced in place as she handed the drawing to Bryn.

  Tears filled her eyes as she gazed at the artwork. It was crude of course and in crayon with bulky stick figures, but it was perhaps the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

  Wesley hopped from one foot to the other as she waited for Bryn’s assessment. “See? There’s daddy and me and you and Grandma Esther and Nana and the babies.” Her face turned serious for just a moment. “I know they’re not here yet, but they will be and that’ll make our family even bigger.”

  Tears clogged her throat. “That’s right. They will be here, and our family will be that much larger.” But were they a family? These last couple of days it sure felt like it. Or was she just fooling herself?

  “I see you got your cat in here,” Bryn said.

  “Of course. And look there in the background. That really small thing? That’s Joe Dan.”

  “Why is he so little?” Bryn asked.

  “It’s far away. He’s working.”

  Bryn suppressed he
r laugh. She didn’t want Wesley to think she was making fun of her. “I see. It’s a very good picture, Wesley.”

  She bobbed her head. “Thank you.” Then she sucked in a deep breath as if gearing up for her next big announcement. “And everybody thought my hair was so cool and I told them about you and how you had purple in your hair and how we were having babies and I wasn’t getting any more kittens and Miss Stringer said that was good.”

  Ms. Stringer. The now-grown-up teacher that Jake had crushed on. “So would you say your first day was amazing?”

  Wesley nodded in an exaggerated motion that sent her chin from her chest pointing straight in the air. “Amazing,” she said.

  Bryn leaned down and gave the girl a quick hug. “I’m so glad.”

  “Can we put my picture on the refrigerator?” Wesley asked.

  Once again emotion clogged Bryn’s throat. “Of course.” They may not be a family the way Wesley interpreted family. But they would always be connected through the twins. The twins would always be her half siblings and even the distance between Texas and Georgia couldn’t change that.

  Together they walked to the house.

  “Would you like a snack?” Bryn asked as they went inside the cool interior of the house.

  “We had snacks before we left school.”

  Bryn was only slightly disappointed. That was one of her most favorite times, when Emery got off the bus and they had a snack together. Not that Bryn needed to eat again. “Would you like to join me in the pool?”

  Wesley’s hands flew to her hair. “Oh no. I don’t want my purple to wash out.”

  “When I said it would wash out, I meant that we wouldn’t have to do anything to make it come out, but it won’t come out immediately. Do you understand that?”

  “I think so. No. Not really.”

  “What I mean is you can get your hair wet and you can even wash it and it’ll be a couple of days before the purple comes out of your hair.”

  Wesley shook her head. “But I don’t want the purple to come out of my hair.”

  Bryn nodded. “I understand that. But do you know what happens when it washes out?”

  “What?” Wesley asked wide-eyed.

  “We do it again.”

  “Do you think Daddy will let me?”

  Bryn nodded. “I do.”

  “Okay, then.” Wesley skipped from the kitchen and started down the hallway toward her bedroom. “Let’s go swimming.”

  • • •

  Jake checked the time on his cell phone and cursed under his breath. That was the hardest part about ranching: there was a schedule, but the schedule shifted regularly, the unknown was always around the corner. He had planned to be back at the house in time to see Wesley get off the school bus. But those plans disappeared in a heartbeat on the back of a runaway stallion. If Bryn hadn’t been at the house, his poor baby would’ve gotten off the bus by herself. His mother and his grandmother were both gone. It made him wonder what he was going to do when Bryn left.

  As if that was the real problem with her leaving.

  The only hope he held was the longer she stayed, the easier it would be to talk her into staying forever. They got along good enough. And she seemed happy here, though he figured she’d be happy just about anywhere she was. She was just that kind of person.

  He took off his hat, slapped it against his thigh, and settled it back on his head. A shrill squeal rent the air. His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t tell if it was hurt or joy. He stopped and listened again. He was only a couple hundred yards from the house. Close enough to see it, but not close enough to do anything if something were wrong. He heard hollering and squeals once again, then a big splash. Wesley was home, and it sounded like she was in the swimming pool with Bryn. He smiled thinking of the two of them playing together like a mother and daughter should.

  He didn’t need to remind himself that Bryn was not Wesley’s biological mother. She was a wonderful mother to her regardless. So good in fact, he’d been talked into letting her dye her hair purple. He still shook his head over that one. Perhaps where the two of them were concerned, he was just a soft touch.

  He hastened his footsteps, anxious to see his two girls. He meant what he said. He wouldn’t mind having two more. A whole bevy of girls with pink hair bows everywhere and soft, rose-print pajamas. All the girlie stuff might bother some men, but it just made him feel more masculine. The sight of Bryn in one of her cute little dresses, her hair pinned up off of her neck, and her toenails painted a sweet shade of cherry red just made him feel like thumping his chest. It was crazy, he knew. But that was how it felt all the same. More masculine, more of a man, because of the women around him.

  He got to the edge of the yard and stopped. Bryn was sitting poolside, a big floppy hat on her head and her long legs stretched out in front of her. The curve of her belly seemed to grow more prominent every day. Just the sight of it filled him with longing, desire, and fatherly pride. It was a weird combination. But that was how she made him feel: more of a man, more of a dad, more of a lover.

  “Watch me! Watch me!” Wesley bounced on the diving board to get Bryn’s full attention.

  “I’m watching.”

  Wesley backed up. “I’m going to take a running go at it.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Wes. Go to the end and jump off like you’ve been doing.”

  “I got this,” said his independent daughter. She started running, and Jake’s heart skipped a beat.

  Even Bryn knew something was about to happen. Wesley wasn’t even to the end of the board before Bryn was on her feet.

  Wesley jumped too soon, hit the diving board, and screamed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bryn was in the water before Jake even moved. She had the sputtering, crying Wesley out of the water and on the side of the pool.

  “Ow, ow, ow!” she cried, holding her side.

  Jake spurred into action. “Are you okay?”

  “Daddy!” She raised her arms, her sobs intensifying.

  “Oh, honey.” He patted her back soothingly.

  “I’m sorry, Jake.” Tears rose into her eyes. “I tried to stop her.”

  “I know.” He tried to tell her with those two little words that everything was okay while he still comforted his crying daughter.

  • • •

  Jake could honestly say that he made it through Wesley’s first week of school. He wasn’t sure how he pulled off such a feat, but he had his suspicions. Bryn.

  She was like a ray of sunshine he never knew was missing. For so long he had lived his life, existing to make it through the next day. Oh, he’d enjoyed his daughter, his mother, his brothers, his grandmother, but Bryn made everything seem just a little brighter. It was cheesy and trite, he knew. But that was the truth all the same. With Bryn at his side he felt he could accomplish almost anything. Anything but keeping her in Texas.

  He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, then finished the rest of his bathroom rituals. Grandma Esther was making Wesley’s favorite supper, venison tacos with all the trimmings.

  After her accident at the pool, she had cried a bit, then together he and Bryn had cared for her scraped side. Jake knew that kind of injury could really hurt, but his daughter was a Langston. She was tough as nails. So she’d sucked it up and went about the rest of her day, lesson learned.

  But Lord help him, he wasn’t sure if he was going to survive her play for independence. Perhaps it was her age or the fact that she was going to be a big sister, but she seemed more of a daredevil these days than ever before. Thank God for Bryn.

  He donned clean clothes, ran his fingers through his still-damp hair, and headed for the kitchen. It seemed like every burner on the stove was going with something or another. Queso in one pan, taco meat in another. Refried beans and Mexican corn.

  “Look
s good, Grandma.” Jake grabbed a chip out of the bag on the counter and dipped it into the queso.

  “No snacking until dinner.”

  Jake stopped. He propped his hands on his hips and grinned at her. “You know, you’ve been saying that my whole life. And I still don’t know what it means. No snacking until dinner?”

  Grandma Esther pointed a finger at him, her expression stern. “Don’t sass me, boy. You know good and darn well what I mean. Now get on out of here if you’re not going to cook.”

  Jake raised his hands in surrender and backed out of the kitchen. He received a poke on the rear end for his efforts.

  “Watch where you’re going, Daddy.” Wesley skipped around him and entered that sacred domain called the kitchen. “Be careful in there. Grandma Esther is on the warpath.”

  “I heard that,” his grandmother returned.

  “You’re headed the wrong direction, cowboy.”

  Bryn.

  “You do not want to go in there.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the patio.

  “Why not?”

  As easy as falling off a horse, he twirled her around and into his arms. “Because I’m not in there and you can be out here with me.”

  She tilted her head back, raising her lips at just the right angle for kissing. “And are there any benefits to being out here with you?”

  “Don’t you know it.” He leaned in for a long, sweet kiss. How long had it been since he’d gotten to kiss her? Forever it seemed. This morning when he woke her hours before the dawn and made love to her like tomorrow might not ever come.

  A discreet cough sounded behind them. Jake turned but refused to let her go. He had her in his arms and that was exactly where he wanted to keep her.

  “Am I interrupting something?” his mother asked. Stupid question. She knew damn well she was. But he figured she had been kicked out of the kitchen too and was looking for someplace to wait out the time before dinner.

  “Not at all,” he lied. Reluctantly, he took his arms from around Bryn, feeling a chill as her warmth moved away from him.