Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  “What . . . ?”

  Then she cupped her hands under her belly. He laughed. Now she looked like a country bumpkin carrying a pumpkin.

  She grinned at him, completely at ease with her large stomach protruding out in front of her and painted for the occasion.

  It was one of those things he lo—admired about her. Yes, admired.

  The moment between them ended as she turned to Wesley. “What do you want to do first?”

  “Games! Games! Games!” His zombie cowgirl jumped up and down, her excitement spilling over to everyone around her.

  “Okay! Okay! Okay!” His pumpkin-toting country farmer laughed.

  They headed toward the hallway containing the classrooms where the games had been set up. What was a cowboy to do but follow behind them?

  • • •

  I wanna do the cake walk now.” Wesley danced around Bryn’s legs, like a fairy-sprite zombie cowgirl in a purple cowboy hat.

  “Okay.” Bryn took her hand and led her up onto the wooden stage. The cake walk was being held behind the thick royal blue curtains that had seen better days. The pattern for the walk had been mapped out on the floor using painters’ tape.

  “This is how it works,” Wesley said as she walked up to the ticket taker and handed her two tickets.

  “What about your daddy?”

  Wesley looked back to where her father stood at the edge of the stage holding the evening’s winnings. Two stuffed bears and a unicorn, a bag of cotton candy, a pennant for the Cattle Creek Longhorns, and a snake that was part molded plastic, part Slinky. “He’s okay. He likes holding the stuff.”

  Jake laughed, and Bryn joined in. Wesley’s enthusiasm was infectious, her joy contagious.

  “This is what you do.” Wesley grabbed Bryn’s hand and led her to the numbered squares. “Find a square and when the music starts, you walk. When it stops, you stop. Got it?”

  Bryn smiled down at her. “I got it.”

  The cheerleader volunteer who had also taken their tickets started the music player, and “Farmer in the Dell” filled the room. Wesley hopped from one foot to the other, being careful to completely step in each square. She looked back every so often to make sure Bryn understood the directions.

  They made three trips around the square before the cheerleader stopped the music. Wesley hopped to the square in front of her, then back one before the number was called.

  “Six,” the cheerleader said as she looked around at all of the participants.

  No one was on the six.

  “Can we go again?” Wesley asked. “Pleasepleaseplease!”

  Around and around they went once again. Number seven was the winner. Neither Bryn nor Wesley was on the number seven. The tween boy with flaming red hair and a cowlick that pushed his hair in two different directions off his freckled forehead picked the chocolate layer cake with a cherry on the top. The exact cake Bryn had been eying on every trip around.

  “Again!” Wesley danced in place.

  Bryn looked over to where Jake patiently waited. They shared a smile of kindred spirits who knew they weren’t getting out of there until the girl got a cake.

  They went around a couple more times before thankfully, Wesley landed on lucky number four.

  “Look, Daddy! I won!”

  Bryn took the cake Wesley chose from the table and started toward Jake. Tonight had been fun, but she was starting to wear down. She was going to sleep like a baby tonight.

  “You okay?” Jake asked as she came near. He took the cake from her and she pushed her bangs back from her face.

  “It’s just been a long day.”

  “What’s next?” Wesley asked.

  Jake turned from Bryn and focused his attention on Wesley. “One more room and it’s time to go.”

  “Awh . . .”

  “One more. Choose wisely.”

  “The haunted house.”

  Jake threw back his head and groaned. “Anything but that.”

  “Dad-dy.”

  “I’m not sure you’re ready to go in there.”

  “I am,” she said. “I’m practically growed up. I learned how to dive this summer, and I can read and ride fences.”

  She might have been around the child for only a couple of months, but she could see that Wesley was gearing up to dig in her heels and hold her ground.

  “I’ll take her in,” Bryn said. “That is, if you think she can handle it.”

  “Of course I can handle it. I’m five and a half now.”

  Jake leaned in close. She inhaled the sexy scent of him, leather, citrus, and horse. It was a potent combination. “It’s going to be filled with cold spaghetti and peeled grapes.”

  “I think I’ll be all right.” She breathed in deep.

  “You don’t have to.”

  She laid a hand on his arm, loving the warmth of him beneath her fingers. “I don’t mind.”

  Side by side, Bryn and Jake made their way to the library, which now served as the haunted house. Wesley skipped ahead in that typical Wesley fashion that Bryn had come to love.

  She waited for them by the ticket taker, another CCHS cheerleader.

  “Are you sure about this?” Bryn asked her young companion.

  Wesley nodded, her ponytail bobbing with the motion.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” Jake whispered in her ear.

  Bryn shivered, but not from fear.

  “Okay,” Bryn said. “Grab my hand and don’t be scared.”

  Wesley did as she asked, but shot her a one-eyed squint. “That’s the whole point of a haunted house, Miss Bryn. You’re supposed to be scared.” She shook her head as if to say What could a kid do with adults? then together they walked inside.

  Just as Jake had warned, the haunted house was filled with bowls of peeled grapes and cold spaghetti and every monster imaginable.

  “Don’t be scared,” Wesley said, squeezing Bryn’s hand tighter.

  “I’m okay. Are you okay?” Bryn had the feeling the house was a little scarier than Wesley had anticipated. She scooted closer to Bryn’s legs, squeezing her hand even tighter.

  “I’m okay,” she said as the vampire hissed at them from a corner.

  “All right, not much longer now.”

  The words had no sooner left her mouth than the werewolf jumped out in front of them. It was obviously a high school boy in a wolf man costume, but it was Wesley’s undoing. She screamed and buried in her face in the side of Bryn’s belly.

  “My friends said this wouldn’t be scary,” Wesley cried.

  The wolf man retreated, and Bryn tried to pry Wesley from her side.

  “He’s gone now,” Bryn said. “And you know they’re just pretend, right?”

  Wesley sniffed and wiped away her tears. “Right,” she said. “But I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

  “Good enough. We just have to get to the end,” Bryn said. They shouldn’t have let her come in. Bryn should’ve been more adamant about not bringing her inside. But hindsight and all that.

  “I can’t walk.” Wesley crossed her arms and closed her eyes against the sights of the haunted house all around her.

  “I need for you to, Wesley. In order to get out of here, we have to walk.”

  “What if something gets me?”

  The people coming up behind them muttered and went around. Bryn wanted to pull Wesley to one side, but that was where the monsters were. So they stood in the middle of the walkway.

  “Nothing’s going to get you. Not as long as you’re with me.” If only it was that easy. Bryn shoved that thought away. “Just take my hand and let’s walk out of here.”

  Wesley shook her head. “Carry me.”

  “I can’t carry you. You’re too heavy.”

  “I am not. I can’t walk out of here, Miss B
ryn. Please carry me!”

  Bryn was slammed with all the failure she’d had with Emery. She’d tried her best, but she had been young when she gained custody of her sister. It wasn’t Bryn’s fault that Emery got leukemia and died, but she still felt that she had failed her on that level. She hadn’t done enough to save her. Yet here was Wesley, and she could save her from the monsters in the haunted house. What choice did she have?

  “Here. Grab hold of my neck.”

  Wesley wrapped her little arms around Bryn’s neck. She stood balancing her weight with her extra baby girth. Wesley wasn’t very heavy, but it was quite a way back to the door of the haunted house. But she could do it. Wesley buried her face in Bryn’s neck as the sounds went on around them.

  “Shhh,” Bryn whispered in Wesley’s ear. “It’s all okay. It’s just pretend.” She was already tired and each footstep felt like she was walking in peanut butter with Wesley clinging to her for dear life.

  She wasn’t sure how she could take another step as she came through the exit doors. Her eyes immediately searched out Jake. He was standing off to the side, a concerned frown marring his handsome features.

  “You have to get down now, Wesley.”

  A searing pain started on one side of her belly and streaked across to the other. She inhaled sharply. Wesley slid to the ground.

  “Daddy!” Wesley ran and threw herself at her father. Despite all the things he held in his arms, he managed to scoop her up as well.

  “You were right. I shouldn’t’ve gone in there.”

  He shushed her and kissed the top of her head. Bryn stood, paralyzed in pain, sucking in as much air as she could.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She pressed a hand to her side and shook her head. “It’ll go away in a second.”

  “What’ll go away in a second?”

  “Nothing.”

  “If it’s nothing, how can it go away?”

  Bryn managed to get enough air into her lungs. She straightened, then took one step forward. A stitch started at her side. “Just a pain.”

  “A pain?”

  “It’s probably just Braxton Hicks. Nothing to worry about.”

  “You shouldn’t have carried her out. She’s too big for that.”

  “Trust me.” Bryn tried to smile. “I know that now.” She tried to take another step, but her muscles seemed locked in place.

  “That’s it. I’m calling 9-1-1. There’s got to be an ambulance around here somewhere.”

  Bryn clutched his arm. “Don’t you dare call an ambulance. I’ll be fine. I probably just need some potassium.”

  He stared at her for a full minute. “You’re as pale as a ghost and your face is all pinched, and you think eating a banana will help?”

  “I’m fine, Jake. I promise.”

  A muscle in his jaw jerked. He was worried. She couldn’t blame him, not after everything he’d been through. But she was fine.

  “Why don’t you take Wesley and all the stuff out to the truck and then come back and get me. Just let me rest a minute. I’ll be fine.”

  Jake looked as if he was about to protest. “Okay, but on one condition. If you can’t walk when I get back, then you have to go to the hospital.”

  Bryn sighed. “Fine. You can call an ambulance if I can’t walk when you get back.” But she would be okay. All she needed was ten minutes to rest.

  Chapter Fourteen

  What the hell is Braxton Hicks?” Jake asked on the way home. He still couldn’t believe he let her talk him out of taking her to the hospital. His palms were sweaty, his mouth dry.

  “They’re practice contractions.”

  “Practice?”

  He didn’t remember that from Cecilia’s pregnancy. But at the time he had been wrapped up in other matters. Like holding his marriage together and running a ranch and maybe a little bit of just himself. But he’d been younger then and things were different.

  “I’m telling you, I’m fine. I promise you, I’m fine. I love these babies too. And I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their health and well-being.”

  He tried to relax. Her words were the truth as much as he hated to admit it. He knew she wouldn’t do anything to harm the babies she carried. Yet it was so hard . . .

  “Is it time for you to be practicing?” he asked.

  She smiled. “Babies do what they do. At least that’s what all the books say. But Braxton Hicks can start at any time in the third trimester. And if it wasn’t Braxton Hicks, then it had to have just been a muscle cramp.”

  “Wait. Now it’s not Braxton Hicks but muscle cramps? Do you even know what this was? I’m driving to the hospital.”

  “No! Jake, please. Everything’s going to be okay.” She scooted a little closer to him. As close as she could with the captain’s chairs in the front of his truck. She laid one hand against his leg. Her touch was warm and comforting. And he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe everything was okay. There were times like this when he wasn’t sure he would get through this pregnancy without having a heart attack. That would be just what they needed: all four of them in the hospital. And Wesley at home running the ranch. The thought brought a smile to his lips.

  “That’s better,” Bryn said.

  She turned to look at the backseat, where Wesley rode with all of her carnival winnings including the coconut cake.

  “Did you have a good time tonight?”

  Jake glanced at Wesley in the rearview mirror. She nodded, though her expression remained solemn. Or maybe it was just the shadows of the truck that made it look that way.

  “Are you and the babies going to be okay?”

  “Of course we are.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  His daughter was near tears.

  “You didn’t hurt me,” Bryn said. “Or the babies. But from now on, I don’t think I can carry you. So you’ve got to be a big girl and walk on your own.”

  “Even in a haunted house?” Wesley asked.

  Bryn nodded. “Even in a haunted house. Sorry, chickadee. That’s just the way it has to be for now.”

  “I guess.”

  “Where’s the big-sister smile?” Bryn asked. Whether it was the word big or the word sister, Jake wasn’t sure, but Wesley perked up and gave Bryn an ultrabright smile.

  “There’s my girl.” Bryn reached back and patted Wesley on the leg, then turned to face front.

  “You’re good with her,” Jake said.

  “Try not to scare her again.”

  “I’m serious. You really are good with her.”

  “I’ve had some practice.” Five years of it, to be exact. Though she wasn’t sure that last year counted for much of anything. It’d been too filled with doctors’ appointments and hospital visits and chemo treatments and a ton of other sad, depressing ordeals that she never cared to remember.

  Jake pulled the truck in front of the house and everybody got out. He helped Wesley down as Bryn started reaching for stuffed animals and other treasures.

  “I’ll get that,” Jake said.

  “Jake, they’re stuffed animals. They’re not heavy.”

  “I’ll get them anyway. You go lay down on your left side, or your right side or whatever you’re supposed to do to make sure you’re okay.”

  For a minute he thought she might protest, then she gave a quick nod, handed over the unicorn, and started for the door. He stood there a moment and watched the two most important women in his life walk into the house. Then he scooped up the coconut cake and followed behind them.

  • • •

  No,” Jake said. He grasped Bryn’s fingers, removing her hand from such a sensitive place and laying it on his chest instead. “Not tonight. You should rest.”

  “I told you. I’m fine.”

  He raised her fingers to his lips and ki
ssed each one in turn. “I know what you said. But I think we should wait. At least until we have another doctor’s appointment or something.”

  “Or I have the babies?”

  “Maybe.”

  She rose up on her elbow and glared down at him. “It’s one thing for you to be concerned, but it’s another for you to go completely off the deep end.”

  “I’m just being safe.”

  “I don’t want you worrying.”

  Too late for that. “Of course I worry.”

  “Well, don’t.” She leaned in and kissed him. She tasted like apples and Halloween candy and every good thing in life.

  “Bryn,” he groaned as she lifted her head.

  “Yes?”

  “Tomorrow night,” he promised. Tomorrow night he would love her like there was no tomorrow. But for now . . . “Just let me hold you.”

  She turned in his arms, snuggling her back against his chest and her bottom against parts of him that didn’t know how worried his brain was. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer. He buried his nose in the curve of her neck, his arms around her thick middle.

  She sighed against him and for that moment everything seemed right in the world. But there was so much still left unsaid. So much they hadn’t worked out yet.

  He had been dragging his feet about getting an attorney involved. She had been talking about staying through Christmas, yet an agreement would still need to be reached. But attorneys, custody, and visitation rights, those were things he didn’t want to deal with. Not yet anyway, but they loomed before him, whether he liked it or not.

  • • •

  I got us an appointment.”

  Bryn sat with her back against Jake while a billion stars twinkled overhead. It’d been a week since Halloween and her first contraction. It’d taken four days and a trip to the doctor’s office before Jake was finally convinced that everything was A-OK with the twins. But that didn’t mean he spent the dark hours in his room. He slept with her every night, simply holding her in his arms. Bryn had never felt so cherished. Every day that she stayed in Texas she was that much closer to never wanting to go home again.