Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  Bryn shook her head. “No. I appreciate that. We’re looking for gold bands. Maybe even white gold. But nothing fancy.”

  The woman blinked at her as if waiting for an interpreter to tell her what she really said. “All righty, then. We have a beautiful selection of wedding bands right here.”

  It took only a few minutes for them to find a set of matching gold bands. They had agreed to yellow gold over white gold. Secretly Bryn was grateful for the change. Most chose white gold these days, but since she worked in all sorts of silver metals, she was looking forward to the change.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to look at any sets? A beautiful diamond engagement ring?” Jake asked.

  “No. First, we don’t need to spend that kind of money and second . . .” She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t bring herself to say those words. That their marriage wasn’t real. It was just for the babies. Who knew how long it was going to last? Why spend thousands of dollars on diamonds and flash when it could be over before the ring needed to be cleaned?

  Jake frowned. Then he turned back to the salesclerk. “One more thing. Do you carry the silicone wedding bands?”

  The woman blinked at him a moment, then nodded. She went to the back and came out bearing a tray of bands made of silicone. “Most people choose the black. Though I like the blue for something different and the gray since it looks a little like titanium.”

  “Black will be fine.”

  “Very good.” They found his size, and the woman returned the tray to the back room.

  “What’s that for?” Bryn asked.

  “Wearing a wedding band in my profession can be dangerous. This will tear. Gold won’t. I’d rather lose my silicone band than my finger.”

  Bryn’s eyes grew wide. She’d never thought about it much. Of course she never dated a rancher before either.

  “Can I get you anything else?” the woman asked. “Wedding presents, engagement presents?”

  For a moment Bryn thought Jake might start picking out all sorts of jewelry, then he shook his head. “No, we’re good. Thank you.”

  The lady took them over to the counter to pay.

  “Jake,” Bryn whispered close to his ear. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  Jake turned back to her. “Do you want to go now?”

  She looked down at her belly and then back up at him. “Really?”

  He chuckled. “Okay, go ahead, and I’ll wait for you here, how’s that?”

  She nodded. “Okay. I’ll come back here, right?”

  He smiled. “Absolutely.”

  Bryn waddled out of the jewelry store and down three doors to the bathroom. It seemed she spent over half her day in one restroom or another. Sometimes she would go to the bathroom only to find out that she didn’t need to go at all. It was just the babies kicking on her bladder and making her life just a little more complicated already. Lord knows how it was going to be when they actually arrived.

  She finished her business, washed her hands, and headed back to the jewelry store. Jake was standing outside, a small sack in one hand. Funny how that little sack contained something so important. A symbol of their love, their . . . marriage.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “I’m ready.”

  He smiled and she got the feeling he held a secret, though she couldn’t imagine what it would be.

  • • •

  I thought we would just go to the justice of the peace.” Bryn looked to Jake for backup, but he merely shrugged. “I mean, I’m hugely pregnant. I just don’t think we should have a ceremony.”

  “Of course you should have a ceremony,” Grandma Esther and Evelyn said at the same time.

  “Wesley can be your flower girl,” Grandma Esther added.

  “And you can invite Rick and his friend.”

  They continued to make out a guest list, including Seth and Jessie, somebody named Millie, and a dozen or so other people that Bryn had never heard of. She was getting married and the only guest on her list was Rick.

  She tried not to let the thought get her down. She was all alone in the world. Wasn’t that why she was marrying Jake? Getting married or not, this wasn’t her family. And who knew if they would ever accept her as a part of it?

  But you’ve already accepted them.

  “We should wait until the first week of December,” Evelyn said. She ran one finger down the calendar blotter on her desk. They had all gathered there to discuss wedding preparations. Bryn was surprised at how bright eyed Evelyn looked, or maybe she shouldn’t have been. Evelyn Langston was a fighter. Everyone knew it. Still, her hair had started to thin and she had taken to wearing a bandanna around the house.

  “You don’t think Chase will come home?” Grandma Esther asked.

  Evelyn’s eyes clouded over. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I don’t think so, but, Jake, you’ll call him, right?”

  Jake nodded. “I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. You know Chase.”

  “And I’m sure Tyler can’t get away for that. But he did tell me that they are thinking about bringing his battalion home in time for Christmas.”

  Times like this Bryn wished she had a playbill to keep up with all the characters in Jake’s family. Chase was the bull rider. That much she knew. But something happened earlier in the year between him and Seth, and Chase hadn’t been heard from since. Tyler she knew was in Afghanistan and his deployment was ending soon, if she had overheard the conversation between Grandma Esther and Jake correctly. So many family members and yet her only guest would be Rick. But she wasn’t going to allow herself to dwell on that.

  “What do you think about that, Bryn?”

  She hadn’t been listening. But the whole thing was overwhelming. She was just now adjusting to the thought of having twins. The wedding? She just couldn’t give herself that to worry about too.

  “Whatever you think is fine with me.”

  Evelyn seemed to take that as a green light. She pulled out a legal pad and started making a list.

  “I should have warned you about my mother.” Jake’s breath stirred the hair near her ear.

  Bryn turned to find him sitting oh-so close to her. She must’ve been in a daze that she hadn’t realized he was so near. “Oh?”

  “She didn’t get her wedding fix out with Seth and Jessie’s wedding. So I’m afraid you’re going to get the brunt of all that. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Why don’t you take a nap?”

  “Why, Jake, you old flatterer. Are you saying I look tired?”

  “I’m saying you look tired and pregnant.”

  “Not any better.”

  Lord, when he smiled like that she could almost forgive him anything. Including the attorney’s office. But none of that would matter now. They would be here, they would be married, and custody was irrelevant. But how much easier would it be if she really knew the man she was marrying?

  • • •

  I’m so glad you finally came to your senses,” Rick drawled across the miles when she explained to him about the wedding.

  “It’s not what you think.” She pushed herself up onto the bed and sat cross-legged, her belly filling up the space in between. Tucking the phone between her ear and her shoulder, she ran a hand over that mound of stomach, feeling the babies tumble like they were playing. They were boys. She knew that now. None of the ultrasounds had been conclusive, but she knew. They were rough-and-tumble boys.

  “It’s you marrying your cowboy. That’s enough.”

  “For all the wrong reasons.”

  “You’re marrying because you are having two kids together. That sounds like a good enough reason for me.”

  “Oh, what would you know about it,” she grumbled.

  “I know enough.” His tone suggested he held the secret.<
br />
  “Okay, spill it.”

  “Well,” he drawled. “I didn’t want to intrude on your good news but . . . I’m moving to Texas.”

  “You’re what?”

  “You heard me. Rusty and I have decided to make it official.”

  “How official?”

  “Oh, not that official. We’re just getting an apartment together.”

  “In Austin?”

  “Yeah. That’s where he lives.”

  How could Rick do that? Just walk out of Georgia and not look back? Move in with the man he loved and not think twice? His parents lived in Georgia. His sister lived in Georgia. All of his cousins, aunts, and uncles, the entire McFadden clan lived in Georgia. Yet he could pick up and walk away without even blinking an eye. How?

  True love.

  For what he thought was true love. Jake hadn’t said those words to her again since that night. Nor had he spent any time in her bed. Not even sleeping.

  And whose fault is that?

  Hers. She set the parameters. She would have to be the one to break them. But she wasn’t ready yet. Not by a long shot.

  “Are you happy for me?”

  “Oh, yes, Rick. I’m so happy for you. Really I am. It’s just . . .”

  “Pregnancy hormones.”

  “I guess. One minute I’m happy, the next minute I’m angry. I don’t know what to feel about anything anymore.”

  “Well, the Bryn I know would just be happy. Someone should concentrate on that.”

  He was right. The Bryn of old would be happy to find happiness wherever she could find it. But the Bryn of today had taken too many hits. Things hadn’t come easy and she was a little tired of struggling. So was that why she decided to marry Jake?

  “When will you be in Austin?”

  “I’m coming back through Christmas and then after the first of the year for good.” She could hear the joy in his voice, almost see him smiling across the phone line.

  “The wedding is December first.”

  “Does that mean I have a plus-one?”

  “Plus-one? You’re the maid of honor.”

  “Terrific! I’ve never been one of those before. Wait. I don’t have to wear a dress, do I?”

  Bryn laughed. “Not unless you want to.”

  • • •

  The rest of the week was taken up with talk of flowers, e-invites, and cake. But all wedding preparations were put on hold for Thanksgiving.

  Since Texas was a lot colder than Georgia, Bryn was thankful for the clothes Jake had helped her pick out. But every one had that memory attached to it. Everything she wore reminded her of that day.

  The morning started off with Wesley waking her up to watch the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV. She barely allowed Bryn to drag on her robe before pulling her into the family room and cuddling up next to her on the couch to watch the wonderful parade.

  “Are you watching this, babies?” She put her mouth up to Bryn’s belly and spoke as if they could hear her. Then she tilted back her head and looked at Bryn. “What are their names? I mean we can’t just call them the babies, right?”

  What were their names? She and Jake hadn’t talked about any of that. They’d been too busy arguing over who was going to get them, where she was going to live, and now trying to get married. It was almost shameful. That was what most couples did first, name the baby, and they hadn’t given it one thought.

  “Your dad and I haven’t talked about that yet. I guess it depends on whether there’s two boys, two girls, or a boy and a girl.”

  Wesley seemed to think about that a minute. “I think a boy and a girl would be nice.”

  Bryn laughed. “Maybe, but you know we don’t get to choose. Whatever’s there is there. But secretly I think it’s two little boys.”

  Wesley wrinkled up her nose. “There’s plenty of boys around here. We really don’t need any more of those.”

  Bryn suppressed her laughter. “You said it was okay if there was one boy and one girl.”

  She nodded. “One boy is more than plenty.”

  “I guess we’ll know soon enough.”

  And hopefully they would have names for them by then. Being Thing One and Thing Two wasn’t going to cut it.

  After watching the parade, Bryn and Wesley joined Evelyn and Esther in the kitchen.

  The table was completely covered with dinner makings, yet there wasn’t a turkey in sight.

  “Are we having turkey?” Bryn asked.

  Esther stopped peeling sweet potatoes. “Always.”

  Bryn looked around the kitchen once again. “Shouldn’t we have the turkey on to cook?”

  “Tell her, Wes,” Evelyn said. She looked a little more tired today than usual and Bryn felt for the woman. Her heart went out to her knowing that she was once again engaged in the battle of her life. And Bryn knew firsthand how easily that battle could be lost.

  “Daddy’s frying it,” Wesley said. “That’s what he does every year.”

  She had heard of people frying turkeys in a deep fryer, but she’d never eaten one.

  “Jake fries turkeys for everybody this time of year. He’s been at it since three o’clock this morning,” Grandma Esther said. “He fries one for us, one for the boys at the bunkhouse, and one for Ol’ Buck and his family.” Bryn remembered seeing the old cowboy out in the corral. He seemed like more of a fixture than actual help on the ranch, and she figured Jake kept them around as part of his retirement. But she wasn’t sure the old man knew he was retired.

  “That’s really sweet of him.”

  “My daddy’s one of the good guys,” Wesley said with a big grin. She had managed to pry the lid off the bowl of Cool Whip and was currently eating it off a spoon.

  “Wesley,” Bryn said. “Put that up right now.”

  Wesley stuck out her lower lip. “I’m just trying to help.”

  Bryn laughed. “If you want to help, then let’s me and you wash the vegetables, okay? But eating Cool Whip does not help.”

  Her pout deepened. “Yes, ma’am.” But she set the lid down and came around to the sink. A step stool had been set up next to the refrigerator, no doubt so that Wesley could climb up and help.

  There were potatoes to be washed and peeled, casseroles to be mixed, dressing to be made, Jell-O salads, regular salads, even pasta salad to be concocted.

  Grandma Esther turned on the radio that sat on top of the refrigerator, and country music filled the kitchen. Every now and then, Bryn caught Evelyn singing along. But even more often she caught Grandma Esther dancing with Wesley.

  This wasn’t her first Thanksgiving without Emery. It was the second. But never had they had Thanksgiving like this. It’d been the two of them for years. Sometimes Rick would come by in the afternoon and hang out for a little bit, but mostly it was just the two of them giving thanks for everything that they had. And though they didn’t have a huge welcoming family that needed twenty side dishes for one supper, they had each other and that was a lot.

  “Bryn?” Evelyn said. “Are you okay?”

  Bryn jerked her attention back to the present. “Yes. I’m fine.”

  “Why are you crying?”

  “Don’t cry, Miss Bryn.” Wesley launched herself at Bryn, wrapping her arms around Bryn’s legs and holding on for dear life.

  “It’s okay, chickadee.” Bryn managed to disentangle herself from Wesley’s artful embrace. Then she sat down on the bench so she would be closer to eye level with the five-year-old. “I’m not sad. These are tears of joy.”

  Wesley eyed her skeptically. “You’re crying because you’re happy?”

  “Yes.”

  Wesley seemed to think about that for a moment, then slowly shook her head. “I’ve never known anybody that cried when they were happy.”

  “It doesn’t happen all the time, but it ca
n happen.”

  “If you say so.”

  Bryn kissed her smack-dab in the middle of the forehead. “I say so. Now let’s finish these salads and get them into the refrigerator.”

  • • •

  As usual, his mother and grandmother cooked way too much for dinner. Their dining room table could seat twelve and they barely had room for plates, glasses, and napkins. But that was the way of the Langston family Thanksgiving.

  “Before we eat, everybody has to go around the table and say what they’re thankful for,” Wesley demanded.

  Jake had managed to say grace without choking up. He was thankful for so many things and yet hopeful that next year things would be different. They would love to see Chase home, Ty home, Maverick home. Next year would bring changes. He would be married, with two new children sitting at the table. And he could only hope that his mother would make it through this next year. That she could fight the cancer and win. And that Grandma Esther would remain as healthy as she was.

  “I’ll start,” Wesley said. “I’m thankful that I’m going to get a new mom and a new brother and sister.”

  Jessie’s gaze jerked to Bryn. “So you know what the babies are?”

  Bryn shook her head. “She’s just wishful thinking.”

  “I sure wish they had been able to tell the gender,” Jessie groused. “It’d be so much easier to buy things.”

  “Speaking of which, we’ve got to get a shower together. Maybe after the wedding.”

  Jake looked at Bryn. He could almost see her head spinning from it all.

  “Y’all are ruining it,” Wesley said. “You’re a’pposed to say what you’re thankful for.”

  “Sorry, baby,” Evelyn said. “I’m thankful for you.”

  Wesley grinned, then the smile froze on her face. “Weren’t you thankful for me last year?”

  “I’m thankful for you every year.”

  Amen, Jake thought.

  Jake looked around him at his wonderful family. Some might be missing and who knew when they would return, if ever. But it was his family and he loved them.

  “I’m thankful for second chances,” Bryn said. She looked up and caught his gaze. Was she talking about the two of them? Or was it something else?