Given time, she was sure that she could change his mind and convince him to bite her on what was clearly a sacred place. Sophia had said that Regis hadn’t bitten her neck the first time. Van had been close to it. He only needed a little encouragement.
If her neck was the most intimate and meaningful place that he could bite then she wanted him to bite there.
She slid her hands inside his jacket, capturing his waist. His lips coursed along her throat and she groaned when she felt his teeth again, scratching her flesh in the most tantalising and intoxicating way. She leaned her body into his, hungry to feel him against her.
His hands mirrored hers, grabbing her waist and holding her tight, as though he didn’t want her to escape his grasp. She wasn’t going anywhere.
“Bridge to Commander Aeris,” a crackling voice said, so loud that it shocked her and she jumped.
Van continued to kiss her throat, his grip on her increasing to the point where it bordered on painful.
Amerii swallowed when his mouth closed around the scratch and he suckled her skin. He couldn’t be getting much blood from so tiny a wound. She gasped when he sucked harder, rocking his body against hers. He was going to leave a bruise. She’d had what her father had affectionately called ‘hickies’ before and she was heading for a new one now, and judging by the desperate way Van was sucking on her neck it was going to be black, ugly and highly noticeable.
She couldn’t go back to her ship with a mark like that on her neck. A bite she could probably hide, but she didn’t think her collar would reach high enough to cover all of this.
“Bridge to Commander Aeris,” the voice said again.
Van released her neck and gave a deafening roar. She flinched away and he instantly pulled her to him, smoothing her hair in a clear effort to soothe her. His heart was thundering. She rested her head against his bare chest and listened to it and his heavy breathing. He was trying to regain control.
After long moments of silence, he said, “Commander Aeris to the bridge. Go ahead.”
“Nebuz-Lyra VIII is requesting permission to continue to Varka Two.”
“Time?”
“Sixteen point five nine point three. Designated time for departure to Varka Two approaching.”
Van released her and held her upper arms, his gaze lingering on her neck. Amerii touched it, caressing the point where he had been suckling. His gaze shifted between her eyes and her throat and he looked torn between doing his duty and continuing with her neck. He growled at the ceiling and she noticed that his teeth were longer than before. Her heart pounded. How close had he been to biting her?
She wanted to block his way when he walked away but couldn’t move. She kept still, watching him collect her jacket and boots and bringing them back to her. Her smile was weak and small when she took them.
“Will you be alright?” he said in a low tone that betrayed his disappointment.
Seeing everything that she was feeling reflected in his eyes, she dropped her things. He frowned and she stepped up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands instantly claimed her waist and a moment later, his body was against hers, his kiss stealing her breath. Their tongues touched, sending a jolt through her and drawing a moan from him. She tiptoed, slanting her head so she could deepen the kiss. Their tongues tangled again, a smooth warm caress that set her body alight with desire.
The intercom beeped.
She slowed the kiss and then stepped back, fighting to catch her breath. Her eyes met his dark red ones. They burned with hunger but showed no sign of bloodlust.
A smile curved her lips as they tingled from the kiss.
“Now I’ll be alright,” she said.
Picking up her things, she dressed, her eyes only ever leaving Van for a few seconds at a time. He sat on the bed, watching her with that same intense look of need. A man had never looked at her with such intensity before. It made a blush touch her cheeks and she couldn’t help smiling.
He hadn’t given her the bite that she had wanted, but she knew now that he did feel something for her. He wanted to bite her. She could wait a little longer to live out her dreams.
When she had finished buttoning her jacket, she looked at him. He rose from the bed and crossed the room to the door. She looked around the room and then at him.
“Amerii,” Van said, the tone of his voice warm and carrying a hint of affection. He walked back to her and took her hands. “I will do it if you believe me worthy and wish me to.”
“Do what?”
His look turned serious. His gaze shifted to her neck and then back to her eyes.
“Bite you...” he said and his eyes brightened, a flash of scarlet that faded a moment later. “There.”
“Do you want to?”
He frowned, his eyes narrowing with it. “I have no place courting royalty... but I wish to. I cannot stop thinking about you Amerii... I have tried hard to change for you.”
Her eyes widened. For her? He had changed himself for her. He wanted to feel something and experience love.
He wanted to love her.
“Van,” Amerii whispered and he leaned forwards, every ounce of desperation showing in his eyes. “I don’t think you’re unworthy... any man who has fought so hard to change himself deserves to be loved for his effort... but then... I would have loved you even if you could not love me in return.”
“You love me?”
She thought for a moment and then nodded. “I do... I do love you.”
He swallowed and looked uncomfortable. “I think I love you too... I have this need inside me, a desire to protect you, to hold you close and keep you safe from the universe. Is that normal? Is that love too?”
She smiled and nodded. “That’s love. A burning collision of need, fear, hope, trepidation and a desire to protect.”
“Flying and falling, as you put it,” he said with a broad smile.
She sighed and touched his cheek.
“Flying and falling.”
****
Chapter 5
Van led the way onto the bridge. The walk to it had been long and quiet as he had struggled to regain total control over his feelings. Amerii’s admission of her desire to have him bite her neck had sent him over the edge and he had feared that he would lose control and hurt her. Her choice to remain with him, to kiss him after he had left such a terrible black welt on her neck, had given him a strange sense of comfort. A smile touched his lips. Everything that Regis had told him of, he was feeling for Amerii. It was a mindless series of urges, of needs so strong that he couldn’t deny them. He had no control over them. They had total control over him. It was a wonderful sensation but frightening at the same time.
Flying and falling.
That was what Amerii had so aptly named it. He couldn’t have thought up a better metaphor himself.
All of the crew on the domed bridge rose from their various positions and saluted him as he walked down towards the screen. Amerii walked in behind him. Thankfully, the collar of her jacket hid most of the bruise on her throat. Only a tiny fraction showed above it. It wouldn’t be enough for her captain to notice, or any of his crew. It would look like a shadow from her hair.
Van took a deep breath and looked up at the image of the Nebuz-Lyra VIII on the screen. Two other ships had joined it. Departure time for Varka Two was imminent.
“Your highness,” he said without looking at Amerii.
A sense of calm filled him when she came to stand beside him and his gaze fixed on the mark on her throat for a moment before he looked back at the screen. He needed her close. The crew didn’t seem to suspect anything but he had tasted her blood. There was a chance that his crew might be able to smell her blood and he couldn’t risk them reacting to the scent. He didn’t want to fight his own men but if they dared go near her, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from protecting her. He would turn as dangerous as Regis had. The bloodlust would make him violent.
He was behaving exactly as Regis ha
d back on Lyra Prime. On their return to Varka Prime, Regis had lent him the fables of love that he had collected and he had read them all. What he was experiencing certainly matched the feelings contained in the stories and his behaviour matched Regis’s. It seemed like love. Amerii had said it was.
It was a strange collision of feelings, not particularly enjoyable at times like now when he was considering the outcome of any attempt to hurt Amerii. The bridge would be a bloodbath. He didn’t think Regis would forgive him if he slaughtered thirty of Varka’s finest soldiers for the sake of one female.
“Incoming,” someone said and Van snapped back to the galaxy.
“Go ahead,” he said and stood tall, his focus fixed on the display as it changed to show the captain of the Nebuz-Lyra VIII.
Weak male.
Perhaps he would slaughter him too for daring to offend Amerii and treat her as inferior.
His eyes brightened and his teeth extended a fraction. He drew a deep breath and reined his feelings in.
“Commander Aeris,” the man said in a cold tone. “I would like to proceed with the mission as planned if all went well with the signing of the declaration.”
Van frowned when he noticed that the captain didn’t even acknowledge Amerii, let alone ask about her state of health.
A Varkan would have asked that first. They would have placed the mission second to royalty. He glanced at Amerii. The fact that her captain had overlooked her didn’t seem to surprise her.
If it didn’t bother her then he had no right to feel bothered by it. He tilted his head back and glared at the captain of the Lyran vessel. It was hard to ignore his desire to kill the man, to control the urge to make him suffer for his treatment of Amerii. If she showed a hint of hurt, he would butcher this male. He would be unable to stop himself.
“All hands prepare for departure. Escort the Nebuz-Lyra VIII and its comrades to her destination,” Van said, holding the Lyran’s gaze and trying to see if he was satisfied now that they would be continuing to Varka Two.
The male’s attention moved to Amerii at last.
“Lieutenant Amerii, return to the Nebuz-Lyra VIII.”
She opened her mouth to respond but Van stepped forward and stole the captain’s attention.
“Her highness is in no condition to return to your vessel and we have been stationary too long. We have received reports of recent Wraith activity in the area. They would attack any small vessel. We will rendezvous on the surface of Varka Two at the assigned coordinates.”
He held his hand up and the screen returned to showing the view outside the ship.
“Depart as planned. Maintain alert status. If anything moves out there that isn’t part of this convoy, I want to know about it.” Van waited for his crew to salute and then turned on his heel to face Amerii. Her eyes were wide and full of shock. Was it because of his actions? He would have been a fool to allow her to cross back to her ship when he didn’t know if Wraiths were waiting in the darkness.
He would have been a fool to let her go so easily.
Holding his hand out, he intimated the door of the bridge. She nodded and walked ahead of him. He scanned his crew for any sign of trouble and then followed her out into the corridor. They walked in silence. It grated on his nerves. He wanted her to speak to him again, to talk as openly as she had in his room. He could sense her nerves. Was it their destination that frightened her or was it a reaction to his desire to keep her on his vessel?
“Amerii,” Van said and she looked up at him. A smile graced her lips, the sight of it relieving some of the tension in him. “Are you hungry?”
Her expression turned thoughtful.
“We may have some protein packs,” he said and she paled and gulped.
“It’s fine. I’d rather go hungry than eat those.”
He stopped dead and she walked a few steps before stopping herself and looking back at him. The thought that she would rather starve than eat a protein pack was a disturbing one. He had no experience of them but surely consuming one was preferable to becoming weak. He couldn’t allow her to starve herself. A frown married his eyebrows at the thought but then he reminded himself that her wish was his command. If she did not want to eat, it wasn’t his place to force her. He only wished that he could find an alternative source of sustenance for her.
“I am sorry,” Van said and bowed his head, feeling foolish for not allowing Amerii to return to her ship where she could have eaten. Now she was going to starve with him and grow weak. He should have been more responsible and thought things through. In his haste to have her near to him, he had again placed her in danger.
She smiled, wide and warm, her blue eyes shining with it. He could drown in those. They reminded him of the pure Lyran skies. He had never seen skies like them before, not in all his life, and he had never thought it possible to capture something so beautiful, so powerful, in something as small as irises.
“There isn’t anything to apologise for,” Amerii said and walked back to him.
“We have no other food besides... blood.” He waited for her smile to fade but it remained constant. He wondered what amused her when it widened a little. Her fingers against his startled him and he frowned down at their hands where they touched and then looked into her eyes. They swam with gratitude.
It dawned on him that it was because he was worried about her.
Her hand shifted against his, sending his eyes falling to her mouth and his heart beating faster. He wanted to kiss her again. The feel of her warm fingers against his, soft and tender in their caress, made him surrender a little of the vice-like grip he held his emotions in. He wanted to kiss her and he wanted her to know his feelings from it.
His fingers closed over hers and he pulled her to him, into his arms where she belonged. He wrapped them around her and she leaned her head back, her lips parting in silent tempting invitation. He lowered his mouth to hers and brushed his lips slowly and lightly against hers. Warmth chased through him, his lips tingling where they caressed hers, his body burning where her hands pressed against his chest. She leaned into him and he tilted his head, his tongue parting her lips to tangle with hers.
It was divine but frightening to realise how much these new emotions ruled him. More than hatred and violence ever could. With these feelings, he felt as though he was falling uncontrollably but it was so exhilarating that he could be flying, just as Amerii had said. It was incredible. It was intoxicating.
It was everything Regis had said.
And at the same time, it was so much more.
Amerii moaned quietly into his mouth as their tongues tangled, hers gliding sensually along the length of his, drawing more of his feelings from him. The smooth brush of her lips over his stole more of his control and a creeping sensation spread over his neck and down his spine. A strange surge in awareness followed it. After that came the familiar itch of his canines and claws, and a growing hunger for violence.
Bloodlust.
He tried to contain it but it was too strong, pushing at the restraints and whispering tempting words to him. Amerii’s tongue stroked his canines and all sense of control shattered.
Daughters of Lyra: Heart of a Commander Page 5
