Mountain Man's Baby Plan

by Nikki Chase

I’ll chase her to the city if I have to, or tie her to this dining chair so she can’t leave my side. All that matters is making her mine.

  Sophia

  When he’s spent, Eli leans down to wrap his arms around me as he catches his breath.

  He’s like a different person right after sex. Sweet and affectionate.

  Too bad this will have to end. I’ll miss this. I’ll miss him.

  Eli kisses my shoulder softly. “I love you.”

  There it is again. My lips can’t help but curl up into a smile, even as the darkness in my chest grows.

  Time is ticking.

  “It’s okay if you can’t say it back, you know,” Eli says as he strokes my hair. “I understand. I completely understand.”

  Somehow, I doubt that he does.

  “Maybe you have trouble trusting me, and I don’t blame you,” he says. “I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to you, though.”

  Yeah. He has no idea what he’ll have to give up to be with me.

  I can’t. I can’t handle this sappy, melancholic mood.

  I straighten my back and turn around to face Eli, his cock falling out of me and the silly apron forming a flimsy barrier between us. Already, it feels like I’m putting a little distance between us even though our arms are still wrapped around each other.

  “What are we going to do now?” I ask. “Got any plans?”

  If we only have a little time to spend together, we might as well fill that time with plenty of happy memories to look back to.

  “Yeah. I have a plan for myself.” Eli grins.

  “For yourself, huh? What about me?”

  “I don’t know how you’re going to pass the time, but I’ll be fixing your car,” he says.

  I frown. “You can fix my car?”

  “Well, I haven’t taken a look at it, but unless we need new parts … Yeah, I should be able to.” Eli grins. “I did learn a thing or two while you were gone, you know.”

  “You jerk,” I say playfully, lightly slapping him on his broad shoulder. “Why didn’t you say that from the start?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” Eli gazes intently into my eyes. “I wanted to spend some time with you. Maybe it was wrong, but I liked the fact that you were basically trapped with me. I felt like you were going to run away otherwise.”

  I laugh. “I probably was.”

  “Uh-huh. I remember what happened in the cupcake shop.”

  I groan.

  “Don’t worry. I liked how you looked with frosting on your hair,” he teases.

  “Yeah? Maybe I should start wearing my hair just like that on purpose.”

  “You’ll be so popular at parties,” Eli says.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “What kind of parties do you go to these days? Orgies where people lick frosting off one another?”

  Eli widens his eyes with amusement. He taps his index finger on my forehead. “Get your mind out of the gutter, young woman. I was talking about kids’ birthday parties.” Speaking slowly like he’s addressing an idiot, he says, “Kids … Frosting … Get it?”

  “Okay, okay.” I laugh. “So, you’re saying you’ve never been to an orgy?”

  “Do you really see an orgy happening in Ashbourne?” Eli cocks an eyebrow.

  “Hmm … I guess not.”

  Eli stares at me quietly, making me feel self-conscious. He says, “I still can’t believe you’re here with me. I feel like you’ll disintegrate the moment I let go of you.”

  I laugh nervously. “I won’t. I promise you … I’m real.”

  “That’s exactly what a fake person would say.” Eli grins as he continues to stare at me. Finally, he lets out a big sigh and lets go of my waist. “Okay, I’ll have to get started soon if I want to finish before dark. Are you going to be okay on your own in here?”

  I give him a flat stare. “Eli. I’m a big girl. I’ve lived in the big city, all on my own. Give me some credit.”

  He shrugs and gives me a desolate look as he crouches down by a cabinet to grab some tools. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d miss me or something. Guess I was wrong.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll miss you. I’ll join you, but I’ll have to put on some clothes first.” I laugh.

  “You’d better. I don’t want anybody else seeing you like that. I don’t need the competition,” he says, pointing a metal wrench at me.

  “I’d also freeze to death if I went out there in an apron.” I hold the hem of the piece of cloth between my thumb and index finger. It’s thin.

  “Right. Yeah. That, too.” Eli grins when he notices me pouting. “I’m just kidding. You can stay here where it’s warm. I’ll let you know when the car’s fixed.”

  “I’ll join you. I just need to check some emails first,” I say.

  “Hmm … My busy corporate ladder climber.” Eli walks over and kisses me on the forehead. “Alright, see you later, princess.”

  “Okay.”

  I watch Eli’s broad back as he makes his way toward the door. With one hand, he carries a rusty metal toolbox. His stiff boots tap heavily against the floor with every step.

  When Eli pulls the door open, some snow that has accumulated topples in. He turns to look at me, grinning. “There’s plenty of snow, still. We can make a snowman.”

  “We might be too old for that.” I smile back at him. I remember how we spent another snowy day doing just that, a long time ago.

  But that was then, and this is now.

  Eli shrugs. “Just a suggestion.”

  When he closes the door, I drag air into my constricted lungs and let it out. I had been keeping that big sigh inside me for hours.

  Every gentle touch and every sweet word built up the pressure inside me, but I couldn’t let that show in front of Eli. Not if I want us to enjoy what little time we have.

  I grab my phone, feeling like it’s been forever since I last checked it.

  Contrary to what Eli thinks, I no longer try to climb the corporate ladder. I’m not even on it anymore.

  It feels strange. I haven’t felt this disoriented in a long time. At the same time, it’s also liberating to not have to worry about schedules and meetings.

  I’ll get back on that horse soon. I just need a little time to find my bearings and figure out some things, that’s all.

  I tap the little envelope-shaped icon on my phone.

  A bunch of new emails. But, they’re mostly promotional newsletters from the make-up store and some fashion brands. Not urgent emails from my boss about my next task, or our next date.

  I delete the new emails.

  And, there, near the top of the pile, is that email. The one that has changed everything. The one that has ruined all my carefully laid plans. The one that makes it impossible for me to go back to Eli.

  I don’t know why I keep this email. Maybe a part of me hopes to one day get a second opinion from a doctor who will tell me something different.

  It’s unlikely, I know. That’s just wishful thinking.

  I press a button and the phone screen goes dark.

  What’s the point of reading and re-reading that email?

  I should put on some warm clothes, make two mugs of hot chocolate, and join Eli outside. Maybe watching his muscles bulging with the effort of twisting a wrench will make me feel better.

  It could also make me feel worse, I guess. But I’ll just have to keep my mind off our inevitable separation and everything will be fine and dandy.

  I probably won’t see him again after this, anyway.

  Sophia

  I wake up with pounding in my head. That’s not unusual these days. In fact, I think this is the new normal now.

  It started when I added some rum to the hot chocolate I made for both Eli and myself at the cabin as he was fixing my car. And, since then, I just haven’t stopped.

  I look around my childhood room. The walls are covered with black-and-white photographs I used to find cool, and the furniture is predominantly pink.

  It’s funny
to be home with my parents, doing adult things they never would’ve let me get away with when I was living at home. Now, though, there’s nothing they can do about it.

  I mean, it’s not like they know I drink myself to sleep every night.

  Pressing my fingers against my temple, I wonder if sleeping with Eli and letting myself get carried away was a good thing, after all.

  I was sad before the snow storm, but at least, I could function without drinking.

  Ugh. The pounding just won’t stop …

  “Sophia!” I hear Eli’s voice in my head, followed by more pounding.

  It takes me a while to realize that the pounding isn’t just in my head but also at the door.

  “Sophia, open the door!” Eli shouts.

  Jesus. What day is it?

  I reach for my phone on the nightstand and check the screen, ignoring the notifications that tell me Eli has been calling me and leaving me text messages again.

  Tuesday. At least my parents aren’t home. At this time of the day, they’re probably at the coffee shop, working.

  Should I pretend I’m not home and wait until he gives up?

  Damn it. My head hurts too much for me to endure this torture for much longer.

  “Yeah. Coming,” I say as I stumble out of bed and down the stairs.

  I see Eli peeking through the window by the door, and the sight of him makes my heart stop. Can I really take this? Can I talk to him and stick to my original plan when confronted with his handsome face?

  Well, it’s not like I can back out now. He’s already seen me.

  I pull the door open, my fingers still massaging my temple and my hair probably a mess from just getting out of bed.

  “Are you okay?” he asks urgently.

  “Don’t speak so loud.” I wince as the sun rays hit my eyes. “What’s up?”

  “What’s up? That’s what I should be asking you. You haven’t been picking up my phone calls or replying my text messages. Is everything alright?”

  “Yeah. I’m just hungover,” I tell him. “Can you please don’t speak so loud?”

  “Jesus.” Eli sighs, pushes the door open, and steps inside before I can stop him.

  “Hey,” I protest as he walks past me. I didn’t invite him in.

  “I’ll make you something for your hangover,” Eli says as he stomps toward the kitchen, banging stuff together and making my head hurt even worse. Pointing at the bar stool by the kitchen island, he says, “Sit here.”

  I should tell him to leave, but I get the feeling he won’t listen. Besides, if he can get this headache to go away …

  “Okay.” I take a seat as he grabs things from the fridge and blends them together.

  Eventually, the noises stop as Eli places a clear glass in front of me and fills it to the brim with some kind of a greenish brown smoothie.

  “Drink,” he orders.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.” Eli stares at me with his sharp, intense, dark eyes.

  I recognize the look. He’s not going to take no for an answer when he’s like this.

  Reluctantly, I take a sip of the frothy concoction. “Ugh. It’s disgusting.” I make a face.

  “Stop whining and finish it. Hundreds of people swear by my hangover cure.” Eli grabs a clean glass and fills it with tap water then puts it in front of me, too.

  I sigh and gulp down the hangover cure as quickly as I can then wash it down with the tap water.

  Eli takes a seat beside me as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “What?” I ask, feeling his stare on me.

  “Did something happen?” he asks. “Your dad told me you weren’t working in the city anymore. Did you lose your job?”

  I sigh. My dad has never been good at keeping secrets or at figuring out which details should be kept secret.

  “No, Eli. I didn’t lose my job. I quit,” I tell him. Might as well.

  “You quit?” I don’t have to look at him to know he’s frowning at me. “I thought you loved your job.”

  “It’s a long and complicated story, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I … I’m sorry to hear that.” Eli falls silent and for a moment, all I can hear is the ticking of the clock on the wall. “But Sophia, you looked fine in the cabin.”

  I let out another sigh.

  I was hoping we wouldn’t need to have this conversation, but I knew there was a chance we’d have to.

  I’m prepared. Kind of. I know the gist of what I want to say.

  “Eli, what happened in the cabin … That was … I don’t know. That was like an alternate reality, okay?” I turn the glass of water with my fingers, watching the liquid swirl choppily inside.

  “What are you talking about? Alternate reality? What do you mean?” he asks, his voice growing louder with each question.

  “Remember when you said I probably would’ve run away if we weren’t locked together in there?” I ask. “Well, you were right. On some level, you probably know it, too. It wasn’t real.

  “What happened in that cabin? That was just … I don’t know. Life kind of sucks now, so I … It was comforting to escape to the past for a while, I guess. But, I can’t keep doing that.”

  “It wasn’t real? Are you serious right now?” Eli demands, getting up from his chair.

  “It was like a time capsule, okay?” I turn the glass faster, feeling my fingers getting wet as the water splash around and spills over the lip. “You open it and you remember the past. You let yourself get carried away by nostalgia for a few moments. Then, you close it and move on with your real life.”

  “Sophia.” Eli grabs my shoulders, hard, and turn me toward him. “Look at me.”

  I meet his intense gaze and glance away.

  “I said look at me.”

  “You’re scaring me,” I say softly.

  Eli takes his hands off me and puts them on his own head as he takes a step back. “Fuck. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He leans down and levels his gaze at me, his eyes filled with pain and confusion. “I just need to understand. I need you to look at me and explain to me, in simple words, what you mean.”

  “It was … It was like reliving the past,” I say, reaching out for the glass of water and taking another sip even though I’m already feeling bloated.

  “Are you telling me … You didn’t mean anything you said or did in the cabin?” he asks gently, his voice steady.

  “That’s exactly what I mean.”

  “Look at me when you say that,” he demands.

  “You don’t always get to call the shots, you know. I may let you do that when the … atmosphere feels right, but I’m not some kid you can just order around. Not anymore.”

  “I said look at me,” Eli repeats.

  I meet his gaze and my heart cracks. Despite that, I put on a brave face. “Okay. I’m looking at you now. What do you want me to do next?”

  “Sophia, princess, I know that was you back in the cabin. You … Fuck! I was scared of this. I was worried we’d come back to the real world, and you’d hide away from me again, but I told myself I was just being paranoid because I didn’t want to lose you again.”

  I stare silently at him. The lump in my throat makes it impossible for me to say anything without tears spilling out of my eyes.

  “I don’t know what it was for you, but it wasn’t just nostalgia for me. It was real. It wasn’t a … a … time capsule or some shit. It was real, and I wanted it to stay that way forever,” he says. “Hey, don’t look away.”

  I take a steeling breath and meet his gaze again.

  “I can’t … I don’t have the capacity to pretend. Not when it comes to you.” Eli takes my hand and interlaces his fingers with mine. “I made a mistake once when I let you get away from me. I’m not going to make the same mistake again.” He shakes his head. “I won’t let you slip away through my fingers again.”

  I bite down on my lower lip until it hurts, letting the pain be a dam to hold my tea
rs back.

  “You belong by my side and you know it,” Eli says.

  “Are you done?” I ask. I stare into the distance when Eli remains quiet. “You should find some other girl instead.”

  “What other girl? You’re the only one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted.” Eli grips my hand tighter.

  “We’re not the people we used to be. We’re different now. Everything’s different.” I say the words I practiced in the dark before going to sleep, but they don’t sound the way I want them to.

  “Jesus, Sophia. Is that what you really think?” Eli frowns as he looks into my eyes, his face just inches away from mine.

  I stay quiet, my heart hammering in my chest. I fight to keep every cell in my body still, afraid the smallest twitch will give everything away.

  “I think you’re lying,” Eli says, his breath hot on my skin. “I don’t think you’re different at all. I think you’re still the same girl you’ve always been.”

  “It’s been seven years,” I say through the lump in my throat.

  “Yeah. It’s been seven years. But I don’t think you’ve changed.” Eli’s gaze bores into my soul, making me feel naked. He continues, “If anything, I think you’re putting on a mask when you’re in the city. I think I’m the only one who knows the real you, and that scares you. That’s why you can’t even look at me.”

  I force myself to meet his gaze again. My lip still hurts from my own teeth, and the pain keeps me from crying.

  But, he’s got me. He’s got me good, and he knows it. Somehow, he figures me out just by looking at me.

  “You can cry if you want to, you know,” he says.

  Tears spring forth and spill from my eyes, despite my best efforts.

  Eli wipes my tears away with him thumb. His gaze softens and he gives me the gentlest, most heartbreaking kiss I’ve ever experienced.

  With every graze of his hot lips, he peels away the protective coating I’ve carefully put on my heart. As his tongue coaxes my lips to part, it shatters into a million pieces.

  Eli wraps his strong arms around me, and I melt into his touch. I can’t help it. I can’t help but be honest when I’m with Eli.

  And so, even though my logic screams at me, telling me what a bad idea this is, I kiss him back. With all the passion I’ve been holding back all these years, I kiss him like my life depends on it.