Maybe Never

by Sadie Allen

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  COPYRIGHT

  Graduation Night

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2017

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of Sadie Allen, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.

  This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offence to the content as it is fiction.

  Trademarks: This book identifies product names and services known to be trademarks, registered trademarks, or service marks of their respective holders. The authors acknowledge the trademarked status in this work of fiction. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Cover by: Belinda at The Bookishsnob Designs

  Editing by: C&D Editing

  Formatted by: AM Creations

  To those who have ever felt like they were less than…

  Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.

  ~ Jessica Lange

  Who would have thought that my life would end this way? Lying on the linoleum floor of my grana’s trailer, staring at the ceiling that had probably been white at one time but now was almost yellow, feeling the warmth leave my body as my blood pooled beneath me.

  I was fading. It was gradual, but I could no longer feel my feet. I should be in pain. I should be crying out in agony. Instead, my vision was losing focus, and my breaths were coming slower and slower. All I could see was his face, and if I was going to die, it was the only face I wanted to see.

  Judd

  I SLAMMED THE LOCKER DOOR harder than necessary. It was just another day in hell, otherwise known as my life these days. Asher and his crew were at it again. Just when I thought they had forgotten about me and maybe I could breathe again, they did something like this. Well, it could be worse.

  I balled up the fabric in my hands as I walked toward the trash can to toss away the offending floral dress that had been hanging up in my locker. Then I glanced at where Asher and his group were watching from the other side of the hallway. He flashed me that smirk that was becoming so familiar while his buddies—my former buddies—laughed it up.

  Why hadn’t I realized he was such an asshole back when we were best friends? Had he always been like that, and I was just oblivious?

  Hitching my backpack up onto my shoulder, I walked down the hall to my next class, Culinary Arts, otherwise known as the cooking class.

  My life sucked. I dropped out of athletics to take this class because it was the only one available this spring. No other openings. No other options. I knew because I had tried everything. At least I wasn’t finding used condoms and K-Y jelly in my gym locker anymore. I doubted my hall locker surprises were far from over, judging by this afternoon.

  When had I become so Emo? Why was I asking myself rhetorical questions?

  I gave my head a shake and prayed that the next hour passed quickly.

  I walked through the door of Mrs. Shannon’s room and stopped dead. The room was set up unlike any other class I had. There were long, faux wood tables with plastic chairs that made up one-half of the room, and the other half had mini-workstations with small oven/microwave combos lining the outer walls, and two islands floating in the middle with the same. There was an actual line taped between the classroom and the workstations, but that wasn’t what had me standing in the middle of the doorway.

  All the seats were taken except one, and I would rather take a seat in a car speeding over a cliff than the one that was open.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Jackson! Why don’t you take the seat next to Miss Klein, and we’ll get started,” Mrs. Shannon’s overly cheerful voice snapped me out of my contemplation of looking for that speeding car.

  Sighing because, really? Why should I be surprised? My luck hadn’t changed in two months, so why should it now?

  I made my way over to the chair next to Ashley Klein, my ex-girlfriend and the twin sister to my ex-best friend, Asher. Yes, they were really named Asher and Ashley. And before I even put my butt in the seat, she rolled her eyes and curled her lip.

  I was seriously questioning why I ever thought she was attractive. Yes, she had the classic blonde hair and blue eyes with a perpetual tan that lasted even through the winter. Not to mention, she had a banging body that I had seen up close and personal. Her attitude, however, was spoiled princess. I guessed the physical benefits made it easier to overlook the snotty brat that she was showing me now.

  Ashley made a choking/coughing sound that suspiciously sounded like “fag,” and then went silent while Mrs. Shannon went on to explain today’s lesson that would lead into our new project. Part one was baking. Great. Something that I only knew how to do in a microwave with one of those pre-made cakes in a coffee mug. She wanted us to get with our partner from last class and take notes, beginning the planning process.

  I pretty much tuned out the rest of her lesson when she started talking measurements, pre-heating, and greasing. My eyes were beginning to glaze over as she went on and on …

  I must have fallen asleep or went into a small coma, because I jumped when she clapped her hands together and announced that it was time to get with our partners for the remainder of the class. Next week, we would practice baking with the ovens. Joy.

  I looked around the room, hoping that Ashely wasn’t the odd person out who needed a partner.

  Before I could ask Mrs. Shannon what I should do, she called out, “Mr. Jackson, you’ll pair up with Miss Blackfox.”

  I was too focused on Ashley and ways to avoid her that I hadn’t looked at the people across from us. One, who I recognized as a girl from the drill team. She was moving her stuff to sit next to Ashley, thank God, and the other was Sunny Blackfox.

  I had been in school with Sunny since elementary, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember ever talking to her. She was pretty. Actually, very pretty, with long, shiny black hair; high cheekbones; and dark eyes. However, she always kept to herself and was quiet. Our paths hadn’t ever crossed since we never hung out with the same crowd. I had always been busy with sports, even as a little kid, and when I hadn’t been playing a sport, I had been with my friends, talking about sports, bikes, or hunting. Later on, as I got older, all that shifted to girls. Sports, my buddies, and girls. I didn’t know anything about Sunny outside of her and I going to the same school.

  I looked at her and found dark, almost black, serious eyes looking at me. They weren’t filled with disgust or discomfort, not even curiosity, just … expectant. I knew why when she asked, “Are you moving, or am I?”

  “Right.”r />
  I grabbed my blank notebook and chair, and moved over toward her side of the table. Once I was settled, neither one of us said anything. I just stared at the blue lines on the paper in front of me while she seemed to be doing the same, except her pages weren’t blank.

  I snuck a peek at her through the corner of my eye. She seemed to be reviewing her notes.

  At least one of us had paid attention. I couldn’t tell you anything Mrs. Shannon had said after the first five minutes of class.

  After a few more minutes, she finally looked over at me.

  I quickly turned my eyes back to my paper, playing off the fact that I had been watching her. The last thing I needed was to be accused of being a creeper.

  “So, have you ever baked anything before?” she asked. Her voice pretty much said she knew the answer.

  “Uh … no. I can’t say that I’ve baked anything before, but I can heat things up in a microwave.” I cringed. How lame was that? Anyone could press buttons on a microwave. I should get a gold sticker for that one.

  “Well, then you can be in charge of melting the butter.”

  “Okay … So, what am I melting butter for? I thought we could bring a box of Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker, and make a cake or something.”

  When she made a face, I figured that wasn’t going to fly. Really, though? What did she expect? I had just admitted to microwave cooking, which was something I did all the time at home for breakfast and dinner. I didn’t even know how to heat a frozen pizza in the oven, so I zapped pizza bites on a paper plate in the microwave.

  “I was thinking that I’d make … Well, that we would make miniature pineapple upside down cakes.”

  “I don’t like pineapple.”

  “You’ll like these,” she said in a voice that held no doubt, which was the wrong thing to do. I liked a challenge, and Sunny had just unknowingly placed one before me.

  “I doubt it.”

  Her eyes flashed in irritation, and I felt the corners of my lips curve upward in response. When was the last time they had done that?

  I opened my mouth to tease her a little more, just to see that flash of emotion again, but Ashley’s loud laughing froze me mid-speak.

  “Then I said, I don’t know whether Coach Jackson shops in just the women’s section or the plus-size!”

  That was followed by a peal of high, feminine laughter from the drill team girl.

  The corners of my mouth that had previously been turned up thinned into a tight line. I counted to ten and focused on the clock on the opposite wall, trying to get ahold of the heat that was scorching through my veins.

  “Hey, Judd! Do you know the answer?”

  My dad had taught me many things. One of those being never hit a girl. Kind of ironic looking back at that now, when I had never been so tempted to lay my hands on a female until now.

  Before I could do or say anything, Sunny’s voice cut through their laughter, strong and clear.

  “What is your problem? Did your brain absorb some of that bleach on your head or what? You might want to get that checked out. Just saying …”

  I looked over at the two blondes. For once, it seemed like someone had shut them up. No one—and I mean, no one—talked to Ashley Klein like that. She was too hot, rich, and more importantly—at least to her—popular. Girls either fell in line with everything she did or said, or they were crushed under the toe of her high-heeled shoe. Not that anyone ever did anything to contradict her, but the threat was always present.

  It was in the superior tilt of her chin and the slight smile that was ever present on her gloss covered lips. She was feared, and she fed off that. Again, why did I put my dick in this chick?

  I looked over at Sunny, expecting to see regret written all over her face because, really, she had just jumped into the ocean with a bleeding wound, and Ashley could smell blood from over a mile away.

  What I saw on her face, though, was far from regret. She was steady. Her eyes never left the two girls as she stared them down, and her face was again expectant, like she really thought they should answer her question. I wanted to laugh. Sunny had balls.

  I looked back at Ashley and the drill team girl. It was like watching a tennis match. I watched as Ashley’s eyes narrowed and saw the cogs begin to turn in her head. She was gearing up to throw down.

  I had spent the past two months mute, taking in all her and her brother’s venom, letting it infect my blood and blacken my heart, letting it cause almost as much damage as my parents had inflicted on me. And in the past two months, no one had stood up for me. When Asher and Ashley, plus all their friends, had spewed their garbage at me, no one had said a word or blinked an eye. Sure, when their backs were turned, a few students would look at me in sympathy, or maybe pity, but to say anything, they would have committed social suicide.

  I got it. I really did. Still, every pity-filled look tore a huge chunk out of my soul, which had been pretty battered to begin with.

  Though I would take every nasty word that Asher, Ashley, and everyone else said over pity, I had to stop Ashley before she used her whip of a tongue on Sunny.

  I looked over at one of the bravest girls I had ever met and said, “She’s not worth it, Sunny.”

  “But, Judd—”

  “No, she’s nothing to me, except a bad memory that left a nasty taste in my mouth.”

  I heard the shocked gasp from across the table and knew my barb had hit its mark. I would probably pay for that one later, but it felt good to lash out for once.

  “But, Judd …” she tried again, confirming something I had guessed about Sunny earlier. Like myself, or well, my old self, she didn’t back down from a challenge. I respected the hell out of her for that.

  Still, I wasn’t about to let her stick up for me, so I shook my head, about to tell her to just shut up, when Ashely recovered and spoke before I could.

  “No, Judd, I want to hear what trailer park has to say. Not that I care. I mean, why would I?” She chuckled and glanced over at Little Miss Drill Team, who wasn’t giggling or smiling for once.

  No, drill team girl looked like she wanted to crap in her pants. I expected her to break out with the sign of the cross. She knew by the look on Ashley’s face, and that tone of voice, that she was in the presence of Satan.

  Ashley might look like a little naughty angel, but as I had learned recently, that girl was filled with nothing but brimstone. I was surprised she didn’t smell like sulfur.

  “I mean, she’s that drunk Indian’s daughter … What do they call him?” She looked back at Sunny, returning the expectant look Sunny had shown her a few minutes ago. When Sunny didn’t say anything, Ashley snapped her fingers. “Oh, that’s right! Laughing Lonny. Isn’t that, like, his Indian name? I heard he sounds like a donkey when he laughs. Maybe he should change it to Laughing Ass.”

  What. The. Hell? I could feel my face turn red. I had to clench my fists to keep from reaching over and snapping Ashley’s effin neck as anger boiled in my gut and my muscles tensed in preparation for action. I wanted to hurt her.

  Then I felt a cool, soft hand touch my forearm.

  I looked down to see Sunny’s hand gripping it. Then my eyes traveled up her arm to her shoulder, and then to her face that was leaning toward me. It was blank, but there were no tears or hurt in her eyes, or anything akin to pain.

  “Judd, relax.”

  With those two words, I did just that. I exhaled a huge breath and closed my eyes.

  Sunny again had come to my rescue. I barely knew her, but in the span of ten minutes, I felt like she was one of the realest people I had ever met, and I couldn’t stand the thought of her being hurt.

  “Like you said, she’s nothing,” Sunny continued. “My dad is Native American, and he is a drunk.” Sunny then straightened up to her full height.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Instead of absorbing Ashley’s hate-filled words and running away, she was doing something better. Something I should have done all along. Sunny was ta
king back her power.

  She faced Ashley down and said, “Why don’t you tell me something I don’t know? I agree with you that he sounds a little bit like a farm animal when he laughs, but what’s your point? Do you have daddy issues, in addition to being a bigot? Because you can’t seem to leave ours alone.”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud.

  I could feel the eyes of the whole class turn in our direction, but I couldn’t care less.

  Then, before any more words could be exchanged, the bell rang twice, signaling the end of class and the end of the school day.

  As Ashley got up and walked past us to leave the room, she hissed at me, “If you thought things were bad before, Judd, you just wait. They’re about to get so much worse for you”—her eyes went to Sunny, looking her up and down in disgust—“and your girlfriend.”

  I never had a doubt.

  Funny that she assumed Sunny was my girlfriend, when I hadn’t even spoken to her before today.

  “Bye, Ashley! It was fun chatting with you!” Sunny called out in a too cheerful voice that made me chuckle. The girl had a pair, and they were made of titanium.

  “You probably shouldn’t have done that,” I told her as I closed my notebook and stuck it in my backpack.

  “Why? She’s a terrible human being.”

  I couldn’t argue with her there. Still, Ashley’s threat wasn’t something to ignore.

  “If you thought she was bluffing a minute ago, you’re wrong. She’s going to look for a way to make your life miserable. You stood up to her today, stood up for me of all people, and she’s not going to let that go. Not that I’m not appreciative, but why would you do that for me?”

  Sunny was quiet for a minute, concentrating on putting away her notebook and various pens and highlighters. My chest started to ache when I thought she wasn’t going to answer my question. That maybe she was thinking going against Ashley on my behalf had been a mistake. Not that I needed anyone to fight my battles, but for once, someone might actually care about my situation. That maybe she thought treating me like the school’s punching bag was wrong since I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. That maybe I was a victim of this mess, too.