Intergalactic Terrorist (New Dimension Book 1)

by J. F. Monahan

  Rufi gibbered somewhat. “Erm… and you are?”

  The hand began to shrink in size as its owner emerged from the clouds, descending as if on an invisible rope to the floor. It was a male, with perfectly groomed hair, spotless skin and perfect crystal blue eyes. He wore a whiter-than-white toga and a crown of golden leaves sat atop of his head. He also wore sandals. Luckily with no socks.

  “I am Zeos,” he said proudly, “Father of all things. Creator of the planets and of the stars. Giver of lives.”

  The vampire raised a pointy nailed finger into the air. “What exactly does that mean?” he asked.

  “Is it not obvious?” Zeos continued, “I am god!”

  Stunned silence ensued.

  “God?” asked Mayor Rajar eventually.

  Zeos huffed and took a seat. “Well not God per say… but a god. One of many this is true but I am a very important one.”

  “You would have us believe that you are a god?” Lemor’all scoffed.

  “I am,” Zeos responded quickly and stubbornly, “and I’d take that grin off your face or I’ll strike your village down with a plague of locust.”

  “Enough!” shouted the Overseer, bored of all this foolish malarkey. “Can we get on with this please?”

  “Indeed,” said Rufi, “now that everyone is here.” He ushered towards the door as another Wizard entered. “May I introduce to you our head of the science of magic, Fungust.”

  Fungust rushed over to the table, his hat falling slightly over his eyes. He tripped and banged his knee on the table’s corner, then proceeded to hop around the room holding on to it howling in pain.

  Rufi sat down, shaking his head slowly.

  “Thank you for coming,” said Fungust after he eventually calmed himself down. He was nervous and sweating drips of star dust from his brow. “None of us are meant to be together,” he continued, rolling out a large parchment with badly scrawled diagrams and equations etched onto it. “None of us were ever meant to meet. We are all from different dimensions. Yet something has forced us together… made our dimensions -”

  “Collide,” said Professor Amirous finishing off the Wizard's sentence as he too entered the room. He took a seat near the Overseer and smiled. His ageing face resembling a road map. “Amirous. Official professor to the Overseer.”

  “Indeed,” Fungust continued, a little exasperated that someone would butt into his speech that he had spent hours practising. “As I was saying, we don’t know what has caused it but -”

  “It was the golden glow,” Charlie muttered. When all eyes turned to him, he felt he had to carry on. He also felt like a fool as he didn’t really know what he was talking about. “The golden glow. It was a strange… thing… that spread through space. Anything that got trapped within it… well… changed.”

  “Thank you for that scientific explanation of events,” Fungust continued sarcastically. Charlie stuck two fingers up at him, or at least would have done if he could have moved his arm.

  Fungust flicked his wand and the scribbled image of the golden glow began to move on the parchment. “The ‘golden glow’ as our Human friend so elegantly put it is a phenomenon we have called the Enveloping Effect.”

  “And what has caused this… effect?” asked the Mermaid, combing her hair with a crab.

  “Erm…” Fungust looked to Rufi for support who turned away sharply. “We’re not quite sure about that yet. We don’t actually know what the Enveloping Effect is… just what it does.”

  “I’m sure our godly friend here can tell us,” said the Vampire mockingly, “being a god and all.”

  Zeos shrugged. “I know. I just don’t want to tell you.”

  “You don’t know do you?” asked Lemor’all.

  Zeos lowered his head. “No,” he admitted. “This effect seems to exist beyond our plain of control. It is very confusing. We Gods created everything. The light, the dark, the suns, the moons… yet this… it has not come from us. Very disturbing.” He sat back and ate a grape.

  Most around the table seemed to find Zeos very worrisome. Believing in a god was one thing. Coming face to face with someone telling you they are God is another thing altogether.

  “I have used an ancient magical stone called the Mystophogus Crystal,” Fungust continued, “It shows us things as they are meant to be! The Enveloping Effect has changed everything, pulling parts of our dimensions together, merging them if you will, creating an entirely new dimension. It’s not only space and the stars that have changed however… we have as well!”

  He paused for effect. It didn’t seem to have any.

  “Us Wizards,” he continued, “the Elves and the Dwarves for example. None of us are meant to be flying in space faring vessels. That technology should be beyond our capabilities. Yet here we are. And we are meant to live together on one planet, yet in this new Dimension we live on separate ones!”

  Some around the table began to nod their heads slowly, as if they too had felt that things were wrong.

  “Other things have changed also,” the Wizard carried on. “All of our currency has changed to knobs as if that is what we have always been using. The temperature within a star has increased. The population of jumping fleas have doubled. Parking fines have gone up five percent!”

  “Everyone seems to be speaking in English,” added Charlie, finally understanding.

  Fungust, not really knowing what ‘English’ meant, ignored the statement and continued. “The only question is -”

  “How do we change it back?” said Amirous, rising from his chair, albeit slowly due to the arthritis in his spine, his brain in motion.

  “Yes,” Fungust snapped, “that is what I was going to say. And I have the answer! It is -”

  “Charlie Pinwright!” Amirous continued, turning to the Human who pulled a shocked expression a little like a trout caught in a net.

  “No,” he gibbered. “No not me! You’re wrong. It has nothing to do with me!”

  “I’m afraid it does Charlie,” the professor continued, walking around the table and patting him on the back. “When we first met, you told me that you had entered this Enveloping Effect as opposed to it covering you. We scanned space and there was no sign of your world… no sign of anything from your dimension.”

  Fungust sprang forward, his flamboyant gown flapping, and pushed the Lampan out of the way, nearly knocking him off his feet. “This is my discovery!” he wailed, throwing a tantrum. “Mine! Not yours you blue faced know-it-all!”

  He repositioned the hat on his head, smoothed out his beard and coughed slightly.

  “You, Charlie Pinwright,” he continued, “are not meant to be here.”

  “I could have told you that,” Charlie grumbled.

  “You are not meant to be here at all,” the Wizard continued. “You are a single in a dimension of constants. Your dimension was never meant to leak into this new one… but somehow it has! You must have broken through the edge of the dimension to enter.”

  “I assure you I didn’t mean to,” said Charlie.

  Fungust grinned through his beard. “It is a good job you did!”

  “Explain,” said the Overseer, not fully comprehending anything that was being said.

  “There will be a hole at the edge of this new dimension,” said Amirous, sitting back down and jotting notes on paper. “It will still be there, but it will be closing, healing itself. Technically, and I believe this is what Mr Fungust is trying to explain, if Charlie goes back through it, back to his own dimension, he will force the hole to tear open once again.”

  “Thrusting him back wherever the devil it is he comes from,” continued Fungust, “will cause a rippling effect throughout the edge of this new dimension. It will, in essence, crack like a dropped egg.”

  “And this will?”

  Fungust smiled. “This will return all of our dimensions back to where they came from,” he said proudly. “Everything will return to what it once was.”

  There was silence as the various spec
ies took in what they had just heard. The Overseer leaned back in his chair and stretched his hands over his head. He looked to Charlie and stared intently at him. Charlie glanced to the Overseer.

  “I’m sorry are you looking at me?” he asked. “It’s just with the mask and all it is quite hard to tell. Perhaps you should cut out some eye holes or something.”

  The Overseer leaned forwards and taped a finger on the table.

  “You need to learn some respect for authority boy,” he said coldly. “Respect that you would learn from Reformatory.”

  Rufi smashed his fists onto the table. Sparks flew from his knuckles, forcing everyone in the room to jump to attention. “You cannot be seriously thinking of still sending him to jail!” he shouted. “After all you have just heard?”

  “He is a criminal!”

  “He could be a saviour!”

  “That is for me to decide!”

  “Claptrap!” Rufi rose from his seat. “This is not your decision!”

  “You would dare to challenge me?”

  Rufi laughed. “Look here, in my dimension I am in control. You have no jurisdiction over me or the things I decide.”

  “Pinwright is my prisoner and I will do with him as I see fit!”

  “Gentlemen please,” said Zeos standing, “this is intolerable. If you do not cease this childish behaviour and talk like two adults then I will see to it that you do not gain entrance into a happy afterlife!”

  The Overseer scoffed. “Mr god-type fellow, I highly doubt that either myself or the High Immaculate Enchanter will be seeing a happy eternity when we die anyway.”

  “If you were a real god then surely you would know that already,” chuckled Count Pracular. “There should be no debate. Send the Human back home. The sooner I no longer have to be in the presence of this fake deity the better!”

  “I for one think he should remain,” said Mayor Rajar. “Intelligeous Prime seems to have done quite well out of this new dimension.”

  “Hang on a damn moment,” Charlie shouted over the commotion that was rapidly growing out of control. “Shouldn’t it be my choice if I go back or not?”

  It seemed the general consensus was no.

  There was a time out called as the Overseer and Rufi left the table to discuss what to do with the Human. Lemor’all and Shagbag joined Rufi whilst the Lampan and the May’orn joined the Overseer.

  Charlie looked around the table and found everyone there was staring at him. He smiled awkwardly and nodded to them. He found his eyes drawn to Count Pracular.

  “So,” he said slowly, “you’re a Vampire then?”

  Pracular looked at Charlie blankly. “It would appear so,” he said solemnly.

  “Well,” Charlie continued, “I didn’t expect that one. So you actually… bite necks and drink blood and all that?”

  The Vampire nodded his head and yawned, bored now by the sound of the Human's voice.

  “Crikey,” said Charlie. “That’s a bit weird.” He whistled softly to himself and smiled.

  To the others at the table it would seem that Charlie Pinwright had slightly lost his mind. And they were right.

  “Are you feeling alright good chappy?” asked SuperSquire. “A lot has been put on your shoulders.”

  Charlie laughed. “There’s always been a lot on my shoulders. My big head for one!” He looked at SuperSquire’s outfit and frowned. “Why, you’re very stereotypical aren’t you?” he said.

  The others returned to the table.

  “It is decided,” said Rufi.

  “Charlie is going home,” said the Overseer.

  Generally, this seemed acceptable. The people stood, said their pleasantries and began to leave the room.

  Naroula-Iyana’s giant fish tank rolled on its wheels out of the room, a little fish in the water with her controlling the tanks movements with a small joystick. Drips of salty water from within splashed out of the top of the tank onto the Overseer's shagpile carpet, much to the Dark Lord's disdain.

  Zeos, perturbed that no one had taken him seriously, vanished, safe in the knowledge that he was actually a god and it would be them that felt silly when they saw his face upon their deaths.

  Count Pracular followed Mayor Rajar's neck out of the room, licking his lips.

  SuperSquire pulled his knickers up tight and flew up through the ceiling.

  Soon only Charlie remained in the room, still tied to the chair. Was he really going home? Would he really get back to Earth? He closed his eyes and practically shook with joy, glad that very soon this nightmare would all be over.

  Chapter 57

  Two hours later, Charlie found himself in the control centre of the judgement ship, surrounded by the Overseer’s guards. The Overseer himself sat in his large chair staring at the giant screen in front of him, deep in concentration.

  Rufi, Fungust and Professor Amirous were there also. As was Princess An’ishia and Vegora Vrall who had requested to see Charlie off.

  Charlie would never admit it but he was a little disappointed that Greebol could not attend to say goodbye, but as he was a wanted man, he could understand why.

  On the large screen the edge of the new dimension shone intensely. The bright and daunting golden glow glared at them. The hole that Charlie had made coming through it could still be seen, but it was small and shrinking.

  “There isn’t much time,” gibbered Fungust, jumping up and down excitedly. “If the hole closes, the golden glow will vanish and we will all be stuck in this new dimension forever!”

  “Charlie Pinwright,” the Overseer said standing, “my own personal shuttlecraft will carry you through the Enveloping Effect and back to your homeworld. The controls are pretty straightforward. Even someone like you should be able to master them. If not then you’ll probably die. But at least we’ll all be safe and back to normal!”

  “Charming,” Charlie muttered and turned towards his friends. “Vrall,” he said extending a hand, “it’s been a pleasure. You are a true warrior.”

  Vegora Vrall looked at Charlie’s pink hand confused. He gave it an almighty whack with his rock hard fist. Charlie bit his lip to keep from screaming out, not wanting to show the muscular meat-head how much of a wimp he really was.

  “The Pleasure Has Been All Mine Charlie,” Vrall said with a smile on his pig-like face.

  “I really am sorry about hitting you with that book,” Charlie apologised sincerely.

  Vrall nodded. “It’s All Water Under The Bridge,” he said.

  It should be mentioned at this point that the bridge Vegora Vrall talked about was not the same bridge that Charlie was thinking of. As everyone knows, the bridge that Humans refer to is a little brick bridge that crosses a small stream in the North Yorkshire Moors in England. That bridge, which just happens to be the same bridge that the three Billy Goat Gruffs attempted to cross, often forgets about its quarrels with people, hence the expression was formed.

  The bridge Vegora Vrall spoke of was a giant, metal beast that crossed a great green sea on his homeworld that, in a brilliant act of manliness, he destroyed with his bare hands several years ago. Really it had no relevance to the current conversation.

  “You Are A Fine Warrior Charlie,” Vrall continued. “Be Safe.”

  Charlie nodded his head in thanks and then turned to An’ishia.

  “Bloody brute nearly broke my hand,” he whispered, stretching his fingers to make sure the bones in them were still tact. An’ishia laughed. It filled Charlie with a great sense of fulfilment seeing the girl of his dreams face light up. He was going to miss that face.

  “I’m going to miss having you around pink skin,” she said with a smile.

  “You are?”

  “Sure. Who will I have to boss about when you’re gone?” she leaned forwards and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Charlie blushed. He would never wash that cheek again. And you know what? He never did.

  “Take care of yourself Princess,” Charlie managed to say when his red cheeks began to return to the
ir normal, pasty complexion, “and that kid of yours.”

  An’ishia lowered her eyes, trying to avoid the subject of the baby growing inside her belly. “Get going dumbo before that hole closes completely,” she said quickly, changing the subject.

  Charlie smiled, but there was a sadness behind it, and headed to the entrance of the shuttle at the far side of the control centre. He took one look back at the crowd of people.

  “I’d like to say I’ll miss you all,” he said, feeling that he had to have one final word of farewell, “but in truth there’s only one of you I’ll really miss.” He looked at An’ishia, his heart stung. “I love you,” he whispered, but soon realised that he had whispered it a lot louder than he had intended. In fact it was loud enough for all to hear, including the Princess.

  “Get out of here before I throw up inside my mask,” the Overseer hollered.

  Charlie took a deep breath, turned and entered the shuttlecraft. He sat in the comfy seat and started up the engines. Gripping hold of the steering controls he carefully guided it away from the judgement ship and out towards the golden glow.

  Everything from then on should have been plain sailing. Unfortunately, for Charlie Pinwright, there was no such thing as a plain sail.

  Chapter 58

  High up on the outside hull of the judgement ship, X7421a crept silently, watching from its large headlight eyes as the small shuttlecraft headed away from the ship. The killer of X7421 and ally of the unwelcome was on that shuttle.

  It would not get away from X7421a!

  The Mechanoid crouched and (if it had any breath to hold) would have taken a deep intake of air (had there been any air in space). It sprang forwards, its thick metallic feet kicking off from the hull of the ship.

  Small thrusters on its back lit up and, with the help of the lack of gravity, flew through space towards the shuttle with deadly accuracy.

  It reached out a long arm with a lethal spinning saw on the end, ready to cut its way into the top of the shuttlecraft. Then, with an almighty crash, it landed exactly where it wanted to be, just a little bit harder than it had expected.